Title: Leave the Lights on
Warnings: comedy, fluff
Continuity: G1 (part of ultharkitty's Dysfunction AU)
Characters: Blast Off, Brawl, Swindle, ensemble
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Sadly, nothing is mine.
Summary: Blast Off has to bring a drunken Brawl to his quarters and learns about the tank's fear of ghosts.
Beta: ultharkitty
Note: Written for tf_speedwriting on LJ.
Leave the Lights on
Blast Off winced when Astrotrain pinged him. With a sigh, he opened the communication link and asked, /What?/
It was night, and he really needed to recharge.
/Nice to hear you, too,/ the other shuttle said over the link, more cheerfully than Blast Off could endure at this time. He couldn't snap at the fellow shuttle, though, because the other already continued.
/You should come to the rec-room and get Brawl. He's seriously slagfaced and can't stand anymore./
Blast Off huffed. /Not my business. Call Onslaught, he's responsible for that./
/I already did… and he said I should call you./
Frowning, Blast Off sat up. Onslaught said Astrotrain should call him so that he got Brawl? This wasn't a direct order, and he shrugged.
/Whatever. Leave the tank there. He can go to his quarters tomorrow./
/Uhm... probably. But you might want to know that Starscream is on his way to get Skywarp…/
An engine's rumble sounded through Blast Off's room, and he stood up.
/On my way,/ he said, and cut the comm-link.
Great, now his recharge cycle would be reduced by several kliks or even breems. But this was still not as bad as being first shouted at by Starscream, and then later by Onslaught.
Blast Off didn't run, but walked quickly to the rec-room. On his way he met Astrotrain, who dragged an unconscious Blitzwing over his shoulder. They didn't say anything, but the Combaticon raised an optical ridge, and the triple changer answered with a resigned shrug.
At least Blast Off wasn't the only one with a short night. And who knew, he might be lucky and Brawl was also unconscious and he could pull him by the foot to his quarters.
Unfortunately, Brawl was still awake.
When Blast Off entered the room, Brawl sat at the middle table staring at the ceiling, his battle mask retracted. By reflex, Blast Off followed the tank's glance.
There was nothing.
Nothing that could explain Brawl's contented grin, at least, and Blast Off decided that he didn't want to know the reason.
"Get up," Blast Off said without greeting, and with a stern voice.
"Oooo~h," Brawl unnecessarily and annoyingly prolonged the interjection. "Blast Off… you're not in recharge?"
The shuttle could hardly suppress a growl, and answered blanky, "No, obviously I am not."
He walked to the tank, who gaped at him with unfocused optics which made him appear even stupider than usual. The moment he was near enough the table, he saw a Seeker lying in a pool of his own vomit.
Well, Brawl better not throw up while Blast Off was bringing him to his room.
"I said get up," Blast Off repeated and reached for the other's arm. Laying it over his shoulder, he pulled Brawl up.
"Woah… the ground's moving!"
This time, Blast Off growled. "Shut up."
"No, really… Hey, if we wait long enough, our rooms'll come to us, right?"
"They won't, we have to walk there."
"Oh… that's a pity…"
And it really was.
Venting a deep sigh, Blast Off hurried - as much as was possible - out of the rec-room and into a side corridor to avoid meeting Starscream. From a distance, he could faintly hear the unpleasant voice screeching, but most of it was drowned by Brawl's senseless rambling.
Blast Off tired no to pay attention to the monologue, but the tank lay half on him, with his face buried in Blast Off's neck cables.
"…and then Blitzwing told something 'bout ghosts. D'you know they can possess you? That's seriously creepy… mean… Just imagine someone's poking inside your head and make you do things…"
The shuttle only huffed. They were a gestalt now, they were in each others' heads all the time, and that was far creepier… Almost as creepy as Brawl's over-warm gusts of air from his intakes blowing over Blast Off's armour. The shuttle grimaced. The tank's vented air smelled like half processed energon - disgusting.
"I don't like all these creepy things. They could get you in recharge and eat you!"
At that, Blast Off raised an optical ridge. "I highly doubt that."
"Why?"
He sighed anew. Why had he answered?
"Ghosts don't exist. Even if they did, they wouldn't eat you. And there are far more dangerous beings out there to be afraid of, anyway."
"What? Really?" the tank's tone was afraid, and nothing like the obscenely loud trigger-happy Decepticon. Blast Off shook his head. This was pathetic.
He didn't comment on it, though. Instead he said, "Yes, but they're probably not here."
There was a short pause, before Brawl mumbled, swaying, and Blast Off could barely understand him. "Only probably?"
The shuttle sighed once more. "They live about 400 light years away, and I doubt they will visit this uninteresting, underdeveloped mudball. So, no, they most likely aren't here."
"…uhm… good."
Finally, Brawl was quiet - for a moment at least.
"Still, ghosts are scary. Can I recharge in your room?"
"What? What the…?! NO!" Blast Off was appalled.
"But you have more cannons than me… I have just one, and in root-mode I have to bend over. You have them on your feet. Did I ever tell you how cool this is? I mean… you can shoot and kick at the same time! That's like… awesome!"
"How many cubes of high grade did you drink?"
"No, honestly." It appeared that Brawl hadn't heard Blast Off's question. "And that's not just awesome, that's also really hot! Hehe."
The tank raised his head and grinned at the shuttle. Blast Off pretended not to notice. Instead, he asked again. "Brawl… how many cubes of high grade did you drink?"
"Uhm… three…"
Yeah, sure, Blast Off though dryly.
"…and then I stopped counting."
Vector Sigma…
Finally, they reached Brawl's room, and Blast Off parked Brawl at the wall next to the door. Again the tank's glance went to the ceiling and he grinned.
The shuttle only shook his head. "I need the code for the door."
"Hmmm…" Brawl muttered, and either he hadn't heard the question or all the high grade had made him forget the code.
The shuttle decided against asking the tank again, and pinged Onslaught, being only a little gleeful about waking their commander.
/Blast Off?/ the gestalt leader muttered, with a lazy voice of a recent re-boot.
/I need Brawl's code./
/… excuse me?/
Blast Off tried to hide the condescending tone of his voice, but failed. /Brawl's room, the door. I need the code. Brawl forgot it./
/I don't know Brawl's code./
A pause.
Blast Off wasn't about to let the tank in his quarters. /Fine, then he's going to recharge in your room./
Oblivious to the talk over the communication link, Brawl bobbed his foot and stared either at the ceiling or Blast Off with a drunken-happy grin.
/What? No!/ Onslaught protested.
/Then Vortex. I have a mission tomorrow, and I won't recharge with Brawl in my quarters!/
/Not Vortex. He's in the brig./
Onslaught's words caused Blast Off to hesitate. The brig? That was certainly news to him. But he had no chance to ask - not that he was interested at all - because his commander carried on.
/Swindle's around. Put him there. And now: Goodnight!/ And with that, Onslaught cut the link.
Wonderful, Blast Off thought, now he had to put up with a drunken Brawl and Swindle.
Brawl leant again at a wall, this time next to Swindle's door, while Blast Off knocked and pinged his team mate at the same time.
"Open up," he demanded, and not half a klik later the door was unlocked and the businessmech opened it.
"What do you want?!" the smaller mech snapped, but Blast Off didn't concern himself to answer. He just grabbed Brawl's arm and pulled-pushed the tank onto Swindle.
Brawl stumbled, and almost sank to his knees, but was able to throw his arms around the other's neck. He mumbled something unintelligible for Blast Off and just kept hanging onto Swindle. The jeep seemed surprised and shocked at the same time, and before Swindle could ask, Blast Off said, "He'll recharge in your room."
Swindle gaped at him. "What? Why?"
"Because Onslaught doesn't want him, Vortex is in the brig, and I have a mission tomorrow. And as long as you're not able to fly into space or don't want Bruticus losing his right arm, I recommend Brawl stays the night in your quarters."
That was, apparently, too much information at once for Swindle's just recently re-booted processor, because he kept staring and muttered a rather stupid sounding, "uhm".
Brawl, still clinging at Swindle, tried to glance again at the ceiling, but with his body lying - hanging - like that, it looked pretty uncomfortable.
Blast Off frowned. What was that with Brawl and his fixation with ceilings? A thought of Blitzwing telling the tank about ghosts probably coming through ceilings crossed Blast Off's processor, and he muttered sarcastically to Swindle, "Oh, and he's afraid of ghosts. You may leave the lights on tonight."
"Eh?" was the only thing Swindle could say before he was interrupted by Brawl's enthusiastic voice.
"Oh that is a great idea!"
Blast Off grinned, and closed the door. The last thing he heard was Brawl's excited "Let's leave the lights on tonight!" and Swindle's rather startled, "What?"