Three Types of Love
"It's what society calls self-esteem or confidence or bravery, but it's really just a precept." / In which Austin and Ally love each other, but in slightly different ways. AustinAlly. Oneshot.
A/N: Firstly, *fangirl moment* OH. MY. GOSH. You know what I'm talking about, haha. This oneshot was inspired by that promo, but I took some liberties, injected a teensy bit of sadness, and let my imagination run. Hang in there, because it'll be a (relatively) bumpy road to the happy Auslly ending.
Dedications to a cold day in december and Sarah, because both have slapped some sense into these thoughts of mine. Many, many thanks to both for some very productive discussions!
Please enjoy, and let me know what you think!
:::
It's called unrequited love, she tells herself.
You know—the kind in the movies where the unnoticed girl falls madly and irrefutably in love with the football team captain, and, after much deliberation with her closest friend, decides to profess her eternal adoration for the boy—only to be foiled by his jealous girlfriend. But in the end, he finally realizes what he's been missing all this time, and he kisses her and there are fireworks and everybody's happy and somehow his girlfriend disappears and all is well.
If that last sentence was incoherent, it's not her fault. She's in love, after all. (And she just likes to make Harry Potter references, okay?)
Oh, and then he abandons his NFL dream and gets a stable job so he can support his family.
But she doesn't want to think about the future, and she's always careful not to extend analogies too far—because he's not a football player and he doesn't have a jealous girlfriend—so she wills herself to stop drifting and returns to her homework.
She's been daydreaming.
:::
The very first time he hears it, it's inconsequential.
He's ordering ice cream for two (because a guy should be able to pay for his best friend's ice cream without having his intentions questioned, even if his best friend happens to be a girl) and the server is squealing at them.
She hands him a vanilla cone and says, "You're so cute together." Then she gives Ally a fruity mint swirl cup and whispers, "You're so lucky. I wish my boyfriend was as sweet as yours."
But the ice cream is melting, so for the sake of time they smile uncomfortably and walk briskly away from the stand. Neither of them wants to think about their relationship, because it can't be categorized. The relationship is just there, and for now, they're fine with it.
(Somewhere between the ice cream stand and Sonic Boom, he manages to steal a scoop of fruity mint swirl.)
:::
She's never cried over a boy before. Generally speaking, they're not worth her time.
But somehow, now she's sobbing bitter tears—but he didn't even do anything wrong. She's frustrated because he's so oblivious—but it's really not his fault. She's struggling through the murky curtains that drape her thoughts, so there's really only one thing she's taking as fact. He's a friend. He's just a friend.
She's so caught up in her own confusion that she doesn't realize how pathetic she must look. People are staring, so she sprints to the practice room and collapses there.
:::
It's the worst timing ever. He's finally trying to be her hero, and she's pushing him away because no matter how much she wants to let him in, she's just too proud. And it's not unwarranted pride. She's strong, and she deserves someone who will support her and let her run free. At this point, he's holding her back—but then again, it's not his conscious decision.
"Ally, are you okay?"
She really can't stand his innocence. She wants to call him stupid, but he's not. She wants to give him a taste of her pain, but she can't. She wants to break these self-imposed regulations that plague her constantly, but she knows she won't.
Her tears have run dry, but she's not happy. "Does it look like I'm okay?"
"Look—I'm sorry," he chokes out. His voice is strained and he's on the verge of tears and he looks really, really sincere and for a moment he looks as if he could love her—but then she's back to reality and she still loves him, and he doesn't love her.
"For what?" she says. "What did you ever do to me?" That's when she shatters.
He watches her crumple backwards into him, and she's fragile. She's weak, but she thinks she's strong. It's what society calls self-esteem or confidence or bravery, but it's really just a precept. It's not humanly possible to fight back against everything life throws at you—there's no point in trying to.
You've just got to reach out.
So he holds her. She needs him, and he wants her to know that this love won't stop.
:::
There are three types of love.
The first is characterized by caring, respect, kindness—platonic love. Platonic love is good morning hugs and I'll-take-that-for-you and playful teasing and happiness. Platonic love is what all lovers inherently feel, but what not all lovers openly admit.
The second is often indicated by romantic gestures, secret smiles, hidden messages—people call it romance or passion or just plain love. But people can love each other without being in love, so this form of love isn't well-defined.
The third—the third is that fine line between platonic and romantic. It's that dreaded "friend zone," and the opposite, "moving too fast," and you don't want to be caught up in that vortex for too long. For Austin, this fire had only just kindled. But for Ally, it was burning out, because a fraction of this love wears the costume of unrequited love. Unrequited love is a monster.
But that was the past, and now's the future.
Austin's coming to his senses, but can he make it in time?
:::
He's never been good at expressing his feelings.
"Trish says I should kiss you."
Oops. He didn't mean to say it that way. She whirls around, and he fights the urge to dash out of the store. Instead, he grips the edge of the counter for stability and gives her an abashed grin.
What if she rejects him?
"Ally—you should know—whatever happens, I'll always love you."
She laughs quietly, and he doesn't know what to say to that.
"For the longest time, Austin—" she's moving towards him, "—for the longest time, I waited." She pauses to adjust his collar, and now he's majorly confused. "I waited and I waited and I waited, Austin." She's whispering, and he sees hints of tears threatening to jump from the tips of her eyelashes.
"I waited until I couldn't wait anymore," she says calmly. "If it were any other guy, I would have called that falling out of love."
Slowly, slowly, she gulps down a breath of air before continuing.
"At some point I couldn't breathe," and for the first time in months, she smiles a genuine smile. He opens his mouth to speak, but has nothing logical to say. He lets it pass.
"Now I can," she says, and he feels as if infinite pressure has been released from his chest. "I can breathe now, because things have changed. I've changed, you've changed—but more importantly, this love isn't just one-sided anymore."
"I didn't fall out of love, Austin," she continued. "I can't fall out of love with you."
"I'm glad," he says, and he really, really is. "I'm so glad, because I love you—I love you—more than you'll ever know."
:::
This love, it's untouchable.
:::
I'm reasonably proud of this. I'm developing as a writer, and this piece really helped me get accustomed to how and what I write. It's an experiment.
I really, really appreciate feedback, because I'm eager to improve. Thank you so much!