Hey guys :) This is a new story I wrote over the holidays. I had this idea and wanted to put it into a story as soon as possible. I planned it to be a short one, but it turned out to be 17 chapters long. The chapters themselves aren't that long, but I hope you like it anyways.

For all of you who are following my other story 'Visitation': I'm working on the next German chapter at the moment and have started translating the one I plan on uploading next. Uni started a couple of days ago and the curriculum is just awful...

Anyways, since I have this story finished, I plan on updating it once a week to give you guys enough time to catch up with each chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Harry Potter world!

Warning: This story contains SLASH. Don't like it, don't read it ;)

Sorry for any mistakes. If you're new to my stories: English isn't my mother tongue and I'm sorry if there are grammar or spelling errors. I'm still trying to get better ;)

Enough of that! On with the first chapter of 'Matters Of The Heart'! Enjoy reading :D

Graduation

"I don't get it. I guess I'll never get it," Lily shook her head as she eyed Remus glaring into Sirius' direction, who was busy chatting up some girl he met a few minutes ago.

It was graduation day and all of the seventh-years, as well as their families - may it be magical or Muggle folk - were laughing and hugging each other in front of Hogwarts castle. Several rows of white chairs had been put in front of a small podium, on which the graduates would soon get their diplomas and the Head students would hold their speech about possibilities, friendship, love and future.

Getting the news that Lily and James, being Head Girl and Boy, would be the ones to hold speeches about a bright future for every one of the students, they had had serious problems of keeping their straight faces. A bright, peachy, happy future while in the middle of the upcoming war between Good and Evil? Yeah, right. They didn't have the slightest clue as to who would actually believe what they were about to say, but what could they do? It was a tradition each and every graduating generation of students had happily followed and they wouldn't be the ones to break that tradition. The wizarding world was all about traditions, after all, even Lily knew that much.

It didn't take her long to figure it out, though. It was pretty obvious with all the blood purists radical views and exclamations on 'the good old and pure wizarding society' and those few poor souls whose parents still made betrothal contacts with other poor souls just for political power. At least that's what she thought those contracts were for.

Lily frowned as she saw Remus huff and march away to God knew where. Sirius was still flirting with that Muggle sister of a classmate. She shook her head. It couldn't be more obvious that those two liked each other. Remus might be the one accepting it, though. Watching Sirius flirt his way through the female population of Hogwarts was a pretty good sign for his ignorance or renouncement. Either way, he didn't act like Remus wanted him to, which made each contact between those two as awkward as can be.

James shook his head and pushed a strand of jet-black hair out of his face. "I'm just as lost as you are with this." He came to terms with this situation surprisingly quickly. Lily had told him her suspicion one evening in the Head's Common Room in front of the warm fire and he had listened intently.

Although being brought up by relatively old parents in a very bourgeois society, the thought that his two best friends might be slightly different didn't scare or disgust him in the slightest. He nodded every now and then, a concentrated look on his handsome face. After listening to Lily's assumptions he nodded again and looked her in the eye.

"You know, I think you might be right," he said, pushing his round glasses up his nose absentmindedly. "I've always asked myself why Padfoot goes through girls like Peter does with sweets..."

Lily eyed his expression closely, only finding honesty and loyalty in his hazel eyes. "You wouldn't have a problem with it if it were true? Which we don't know for sure," she stressed as she watched her boyfriend smile his sweet, loving smile.

"Why would I have a problem with it?" He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. "If that's what makes them happy I'm the last one to stand in their way."

He smirked as he thought of the multiple times he had caught Sirius staring at Remus whenever he was sure the latter wasn't looking, an off expression on his face. He had just waved it off every time James had tried to ask him about it, whether everything was okay, but he had always replied that it was. James didn't have a problem with it if his two best friends happened to like each other on a more… complex level than just friendship.

Lily smiled and locked her arms around his neck, looking him in the eye. "You are amazing, do you know that?"

"I've heard that much a couple of times." He laughed as Lily hit him upside down his head.

"Idiot," she mumbled as she closed the gap between their lips.

"They are even more stupid than I thought they were," James sighed loudly as he saw Remus push his way through the throng of happy students who were too busy introducing their families to their classmates to care whether or not Remus would get injured on his rather brutal way towards them.

"What is it with Sirius and his obsession to woo everything that has the potential to wear a skirt?" His handsome, yet slightly scarred face twisted into an ugly frown. "Can't he at least control his hormones or whatever it is that is influencing him at his graduation? Isn't it enough that he had practically had every single female student Hogwarts is currently inhibited by? Why does he have to continue on with their families as well?"

James and Lily exchanged a look, trying to keep themselves from smiling.

"It is Sirius we're talking about. What did you expect?" James snickered; Lily hit him in the arm.

"Well," Remus stuttered, without taking his eyes off Sirius who was now being introduced to a second girl the first one obviously seemed to know by the looks of it. "He could at least try to make it less obvious. It might be painful or embarrassing to certain people."

"Like who?"

"James!" Lily hissed as she glared at his mischievous grin.

Remus frowned and lowered his gaze.

No, he wouldn't tell them. He wouldn't tell anybody. Ever. Not even his best friends. He wasn't even supposed to feel this way. He had never felt this way before his last year at Hogwarts. Of course, he had never said no to getting dressed in the same room as his roommates in the dormitory, but why would he? He was a guy, they were guys and there was nothing they had to be ashamed of. Seeing each other in boxer shorts became daily routine, which nobody seemed to mind at all.

Until that one day he caught himself staring at Sirius' flat stomach. His black haired friend hadn't seemed to notice, which had been good. Being caught in a situation like this, no matter if the one catching you was yourself, was embarrassing beyond believe. From that day on, he noticed something different about himself. Waking up from pleasant dreams of one rather good-looking wizard, watching classmates walk by, more or less ignoring the female population...

At first, he hadn't wanted to accept this change. He was a guy and guys were supposed to like girls, or at least that was what he had been told from early on in his life. He had been convinced that he liked girls; he had even dated a few of them.

To be honest, the relationships never went far and weren't of long duration. Every time his current girlfriend wanted more than just cuddle und the occasional kiss, he had made it a habit to break things of before they could get out of control. But that had only been self-preservation, or at least he had told himself that at that moment. Later on, he had used to just ignore the stray looks of appreciation he shot towards the 'wrong' gender, as his trained mind had always called it, and do it off as random moments everyone had been in at least once. There was nothing wrong in watching you classmates, after all.

Thinking about those things now, he could say with clarity that he had rarely ever felt before that those excuses had been just that - excuses. Deep down, he had always known that there was something different about him, something that made him somewhat special. His conscious mind on the other hand had ignored the signals and had led him into believing a lie - until that very moment in the seventh years' dormitory with a half-naked Sirius standing in the middle of their bedroom, a wet towel in his hand and a huge grin on his face as James had just suggested their next prank.

Remus sighed as Dumbledore took his place on top of the podium and both the students, as well as their families started to look for good seats. Turning around just in time to see Lily gesture for the front row, he dragged himself after the young couple, mourning his dilemma.

Having a crush on a friend was one thing, but having a crush on a straight friend, without anyone knowing about his sexual orientation was a whole different matter. He knew that he had to tell them at some point. Maybe not straight away and maybe not Sirius, but James and Lily deserved to know. It would do him good to be able to tell someone without being judged or laughed at for his 'abnormality'. Second abnormality, he thought grudgingly as he let himself fall onto an uncomfortable chair next to Lily, who was holding hands with and whispering into the ear of James, who had a concentrated frown on his face.

Remus' eyes travelled over the couple next to him in involuntary search of the other black-haired and good-looking friend. He sat between James and Peter, a rather satisfied expression on his handsome face. Remus grumbled something unintelligible under his breath as he forced his attention towards Headmaster Dumbledore, who had just began with his graduation speech.

"Seeing all of you fine young men and women in front of me fills my with so much proud, I cannot tell you how happy I am for all of you. Seven years ago, we didn't know each other. We have all just met, getting in contact with each other, but we have grown to love and respect one another as one big family. We have had our share of annoyed grumbles during classes, shed tears during exam periods and laughter during welcoming feasts.

You have found friendship, rivalry and love, been through stress, pain, fear and happiness and yet here you are, about to graduate from the school you have lived in for the last seven years of your lives and move on to a world you have yet to get to know. But not everything will be well and uncomplicated. Finding jobs won't be the biggest challenge you will have to face.

Living and studying behind Hogwarts' safe walls will no longer be an option for you. The threat the wizarding world has to deal with at the moment will hit you and it will force you into actions you may not want to do, but will have to nonetheless. You have the means and the knowledge that you need to defend yourselves and your families, never forget that.

Being out in the real world, getting to know what it is really like, feeling the threat, the fear and mistrust even among friends will be shocking and you will think back to the 'good old days' at Hogwarts and look back with a smile.

Therefore I wish each and every one of you the best and brightest future. Find love, marry and start a family. Live a normal life despite everything that is going on and never forget: Hogwarts will always provide help for those who seek it."

Applause erupted and everyone stood up to cheer. The rest of the ceremony went by surprisingly fast. Before Remus knew it James and Lily went onto the podium and held their speech about the bright and successful future they wished everyone, no matter their grades. The future was about making plans and sometimes even mistakes. After another rather loud round of applause - Sirius had made so much noise an annoyed Professor McGonnigal had had to put a Silencing Charm on him - the diplomas were handed out by the Headmaster and then it was time to say good-bye to the families and start packing for the trip home the next day.

*~*RSJLH*~*

"What do you think how he is doing?" Lily gazed into the bright, flickering flames as she sat snuggled against her boyfriend's side, who had an arm wrapped tightly around her. The Head's Common Room was filled with the dim, but warm light of the freshly lit fire, casting shadows over the maroon red walls and furniture.

Taking a deep breath, James turned his head slightly to the side, so he could watch Lily out of the corner of his eye. "I don't know," he said sincerely. He wished he knew the answer to that question. He'd love to say he knew how his best friend felt, but that would be a lie. He was never one of those people who kept his feelings bottled up inside of him. After just a few weeks of his first year, literally the whole school had known about his infatuation with one Lily Evans. To be honest, he hadn't acted as if it had been a huge secret.

But what his friend went through… He could say that he probably understood his hurt and pain better than anyone else. Having the one person you adore ignoring – or in James' case hating – you and your feelings, it could be tough. He knew that Sirius didn't do it on purpose. He didn't know what Remus felt for him. How could he? Remus made it a habit to not tell anybody, although it was obvious what he was going through and what was going on inside his head. The aching looks he sent the oldest Black, the flicker in his eyes…

"I wish I knew."

"Me too." Lily snuggled further into the warm embrace and inhaled James' scent deeply. It calmed her down and reassured her that, no matter what went wrong, it would be alright. She felt safe in his arms and she knew he would do anything for her, even if it cost his own life. That thought had made her feel uneasy and it still did to some extent, but she knew for quite a while now that she would do exactly the same, and that made that thought bearable.

"We have to do something!" She cried out after a few minutes of content silence. James jumped. "I can't watch him suffer like that! He doesn't deserve it. He has enough to worry about, without that thing with Sirius to add to it."

"But what can we do?" James asked, as his heartbeat went back to its normal pace. "How can you make your gay best friend come out and your straight best friend turn gay?"

"I think I might have an idea…"

I hope you liked it!

Please leave a comment and tell me what you think so far. I love reading and answering them!

See ya!