Title: Things Change
Author: Anne (the insane one)
Rating: CSI-2
Spoilers: Up to and including spoilers for Season 9
Summary: Warrick's death changes everything
Catherine wiped her eyes as she went to answer the door to her home. She'd had to explain to Lindsey that Warrick was dead and that had not been an easy conversation. Lindsey had seen far too much death in her young life.
When she opened up the door, she saw a sombre looking Gil Grissom standing there. She knew why. "Come on in."
"I wanted to see how you and Lindsey were doing," he mumbled, following her into the living room.
"Lindsey's taking it hard – I expected that."
"And you?"
She sat down on a chair, watching him sit opposite her. "I just…he seemed so unbreakable. Kind of like you."
He lifted an eyebrow. "I'm hardly unbreakable, Catherine."
"Oh, I don't know. Every time you get into a life or death situation, you seem to come out unscathed."
He smiled softly at her. "In that case, I owe that to you. It seems every time I'm in a life or death situation, you're there to save me."
"I couldn't save Warrick."
Gil got up and sat beside her, putting his arm around her. "I know, Cath. None of us could. But we have to stay strong. Not just for ourselves, or Warrick. But for those who depend on us. Like Lindsey, Greg and Nick."
Catherine nodded. "I know. Just you try and stay out of harm's way, alright?"
He shifted back a little and glanced at her. "Catherine?"
"I couldn't face losing you. I'm going to recover from this. I don't think I could recover if it was you."
Gil's hands framed her face, and he smiled at her. "You're not going to lose me, Catherine. I'm not going anywhere."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
They stared at each other for a few moments, blue locked onto blue as Gil's thumb tenderly stroked her cheek.
And then he leaned forward.
The first brush of his lips on hers felt like heaven to Catherine. He was warm and gentle, and his thumb continued to caress her cheek as they kissed. She wanted to be closer, so much closer to this man – this man that if she lost, she knew she would be broken forever.
"Catherine," he whispered.
She cuddled up to him. "Stay with me."
He smiled and kissed her again. "Always."
She felt exhausted as she stepped off the plane. The flight from San Francisco had been a long one. She'd spent it thinking about Warrick. And Grissom.
Two days before Greg had rung her with the news of Warrick's death, she had received a phone call from Warrick. To her eternal regret, she hadn't been home. He had left a message on the answering machine.
She had never replied.
Sara had rung Gil two hours before she'd left San Francisco. He hadn't been home, and his cell phone was off. She wasn't sure what to make of that. Truth was, they hadn't really had a deep conversation since she'd left Vegas. It was more, 'hi, I'm in San Francisco, how are you?' She wasn't sure why that made her uncomfortable, but it did.
She hadn't really spoken to anyone since she'd left Vegas. She had needed a clean break – and got it. When Greg had called to tell her that Warrick had been killed, she'd felt strangely left out.
Now, staring at the airport full of strangers, she just felt alone. She shook off the feeling and went to collect her bags.
Catherine awoke the next morning with a crick in her neck. Despite that, she had slept better than she had in a long time. And she knew perfectly well why.
"Good morning."
She turned, despite her neck, and looked up at Gil. His arms were still around her, and he had the dopey look of a man who hadn't been awake very long. "Morning."
He ran his thumb over her lips before kissing her gently. "Did you sleep alright?"
"Much better than I thought I would," she answered. Her lips tingled from the contact of his kiss. "Gil?"
"Mhm?"
Catherine shifted her body so that she faced him. "What are we doing?"
"Laying on your couch together." His hand brushed across her curls. "Talking. Mourning. Touching."
"Gil…" She sighed and touched his hand. "Just tell me we're not doing this out of sympathy or pity for each other."
"I'm doing this because I want to. Very much."
Catherine leant forward and kissed him deeply. She could feel him respond to her kiss, holding her tight against him.
"I've wanted to as well. For a long time," she whispered. Then she smiled shyly and got up. "I better go and check on Lindsey."
Gil watched in amazement as she moved swiftly across the room towards Lindsey's bedroom. He finally relaxed against the couch, thinking of Catherine, of Lindsey and of Warrick.
Having found no one at Grissom's townhouse, and not having a key, Sara had checked herself into a motel. The bed hadn't been the most comfortable she'd ever slept in, but considering that she hadn't slept well anyway, it really hadn't mattered.
She had called Greg and told him she was here. He had been subdued on the phone, very quiet. She'd tried calling Nick, but he had his answering machine on. Grissom still wasn't answering his phone, and she'd even tried Catherine, only to find that the answering machine was on there too.
Finally, determined to find out what was going on, she'd called Jim Brass. To her astonishment, Sofia Curtis had answered the detective's cell, and quietly but firmly explained that Brass was asleep. Sara had managed to extract the details of the funeral service from the woman, and then had ended the call in complete confusion.
She'd decided in a fit of nostalgia to visit the small diner where she'd first met Warrick. After ordering a cup of coffee and an omelette, she'd sat at the counter, almost identical to where she'd first found him.
At first, she and Warrick had been enemies. She'd come to investigate him for what had happened to Holly Gribbs. As her job required, she'd been relentless and then astonished when Grissom had ignored her recommendation.
Even now she still wasn't sure whether her anger at Warrick had been because of his gambling problem, the way the team had stuck up for him, or the way Grissom had dismissed her findings and kept Warrick employed.
What she did know, was that as time went by she and Warrick had become closer. There had been something about him, something that made him easy to relate to. It wasn't long before their animosity had developed into a tentative friendship. She now regretted that she hadn't become closer to him.
"Here you go." The greasy waiter dumped her coffee and breakfast down on the counter.
Sara looked at him and then at her food. She should have asked Warrick what he liked about this place – because she couldn't see the attraction.
Nick Stokes groaned as the pounding on his door became louder. Then again, he wasn't sure if it was the pounding of the door that was louder, or the pounding in his head. He staggered out of bed and pulled on yesterday's jeans and an old t-shirt, before going to the door.
"God, you look terrible." Mandy Webster peered over her glasses at her colleague.
Nick narrowed his eyes at her. "Thanks a lot."
Mandy ignored the beer stench on his breath. "So, are you going to invite me in?"
"Mandy…"
"I'm going to make you coffee. You better be sober for this funeral. You owe Warrick that."
Nick watched in astonishment as Mandy marched into his house, locating the kitchen quickly.
"And have a shower. You stink."
Gil Grissom had gone home, showered, changed and readied himself for what may have been one of the hardest days of his life. He now stood in Catherine's hallway, waiting patiently for her and Lindsey.
The teen came out first, looking older than her years.
"You look very nice, Lindsey," he told her.
"Thank you," she replied. "Mom says you can go in if you want."
"Alright." He watched her for a moment, then headed into Catherine's bedroom.
He found her sitting on the bed, wearing a simple black dress. She looked lost and he walked over, sitting beside her.
"Cath."
She rested against him for a moment. "There's so much to say."
Gil nodded. "I know. Me too."
"I'm glad you're here. With me."
He gently kissed her. "Me too."
She didn't know why she didn't go any closer to the funeral. She could see them all there, standing around the grave. Greg's hand was being held tightly by a small redhead – Sara didn't know her, but she assumed it was his girlfriend. Conrad Ecklie and his wife were there. All the labrats were there – and Sara was intrigued to see Nick being supported by Mandy.
She didn't think she'd ever seen Nick look so lost. Then again, maybe she'd never realised how close Nick and Warrick had been.
She saw Brass and Sofia standing together to one side. Brass looked lost, although Sara wasn't sure why. She'd never thought Warrick and Brass had been close – but then again, Sara was learning she hadn't known a lot of things.
She could see Lindsey standing next to her mother. And, with a tug of jealousy, she noticed Grissom holding Catherine's hands. The strawberry blonde was leaning against him and he had her hand tightly in his.
Sara was far enough away not to be noticed by anyone, but close enough to hear the ceremony. She wasn't surprised that Tina hadn't shown up.
She waited until the ceremony ended to approach. Lindsey had thrown a rose into the grave, followed by Grissom and Catherine, who stood there silently for a moment. She watched them talk briefly to Nick and Greg, before heading towards their car.
Greg was the first one to notice her. "Hi, Sara."
She tried to smile at him, but was too disconcerted by seeing Greg look so depressed. "Hey, Greg. How are you holding up?"
Greg shrugged. "I'm dealing. I didn't know if you'd show up or not."
Sara gestured back to where she had been standing. "I was over there."
Greg didn't ask why, he just nodded. "I'm glad you came. Warrick would have liked you being here."
She wasn't so sure, but she finally managed a brief smile. "You never know, he might have kicked your ass for being here instead of in LA with your book. He knew you put a lot of work into that."
Greg stared at the grave. "Yeah, well Warrick put a lot of work into me. I had to be here. For him."
"Greg?"
Sara watched the small redhead approach Greg and tell him that when he was ready, she'd take him home. He smiled sadly and kissed her, telling her he'd be there in a minute.
"You going to Catherine's?" Greg asked.
Sara blinked. "Huh?"
"For the wake. I think everyone's going. At least, the team is."
"Sure," Sara said quietly. "I'll be there."
Greg nodded again. "Right. Well, see you later."
Sara watched him leave, clutching hold of the girl he was with. She was about to approach Nick when Jim Brass stepped in her path.
"Hi, Sara," he said.
Sara watched nervously for Sofia Curtis. To her relief, she was talking to Mandy and Nick. "Hi, Jim."
"We weren't sure if you'd show up. I'm glad you did."
She wasn't sure who Jim meant by 'we', but she nodded. "Of course I did. I just don't know why everyone was so surprised. He was my friend too."
"True." Jim looked like he was about to say something else, but he stopped himself. To Sara's chagrin, Sofia arrived again, her hand automatically seeking Jim's.
"Hello, Sara," Sofia said pleasantly.
"Hi," Sara replied. "I thought you were working in Boulder City."
"I am," came the answer. "But Warrick was a friend. A good one. I asked for the day so I could come."
Sara nodded. "Right. Well, I'm going to go see Nick. I'll see you at Catherine's?"
"Sure," Jim replied. He squeezed Sofia's hand. "Come on, Sofie."
Sara made her way over to Nick, who was still staring at the grave. Mandy stood a little behind him – Sara wasn't sure what was going on with them, but she approached her friend.
"Nick?"
The man turned around to face Sara. "Hey, Sair."
She felt relieved that he hadn't seemed surprised to see her. "Hey. How you holding up?"
Nick shrugged. "I let him down. I should have been with him."
"Nick…" Out of the corner of her eye, Sara watched Mandy take a step forward. "Nick, you can't blame yourself for this."
"Why not? He was my best friend, and he died alone. He was alone, Sara."
"Maybe, but he never doubted your friendship. And you couldn't have helped him. You might have been killed too."
Mandy moved forward then, her small hand taking Nick's large one. "Hey, Nick. Remember what I said earlier, back at your place? Let's go to Catherine's now. I bet Greg has managed to find some embarrassing pictures or video of Warrick in diapers or something, right?"
To Sara's amazement, Nick cracked a small smile. "Yeah," he murmured. "Yeah, okay." He handed her his keys. "You drive though, yeah?"
Mandy accepted the keys. "Yeah, I'll drive."
After they left, Sara stared at Warrick's grave for a moment. There was no tombstone yet, but Greg had told her that the whole team had chipped in for one. She kicked at a small piece of dirt, watching it tumble down on top of the coffin.
"We'll miss you, Warrick," she murmured.
When they arrived home, Lindsey went upstairs to her room and Catherine went straight into the kitchen. Gil followed her, watching as she systematically pulled platters out of the fridge.
"Catherine."
She didn't reply. He walked over and placed his hands on her shoulders, stopping her movements. "Catherine."
He felt her shoulders shaking with tears and he immediately enfolded her in a hug, kissing the top of her head. "I've got you," he whispered. "I've got you, sweetheart." Gil wasn't quite sure where the words were coming from, but he knew he meant them. "I'm here."
When her tears finally subsided, she mumbled against his chest. "I made your shirt all wet."
"It's just a shirt," he replied. "It's not important. You're important."
Catherine looked up at him. "Kiss me."
His lips pressed a gentle kiss to hers. "Better?" he whispered.
"Yeah. Thanks." Catherine turned back to the platters, trying to recover herself. "I didn't see Sara at the funeral. I thought she would have come."
"She was there," Gil said quietly.
Catherine turned around, watching him for a quick moment before turning her attention back on the food. "Oh."
"Cath….don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Don't pull away from me." He put his hands on her shoulders again. "If there's one thing that Warrick's death has taught me, it's always tell someone how you feel about them. Before it's too late."
"So tell her. She's back."
"Dammit, Cath. I don't love Sara, I love you. And I don't want to you to die before I can tell you."
She was quiet for a moment, before she finally turned around. "Say it again."
"I love you."
He barely heard the whisper of her reply as their lips joined. His arms went around her waist, lifting her closer to him and when they broke into a hug, he whispered it to her again.
"I love you too," came her reply.
And then the doorbell rang.
After a while everyone had arrived. Greg had indeed unearthed some things of Warrick's and he'd also found the episode of the crime show that had taped the CSIs a few years earlier.
It was not a depressing event. Rather, the CSIs focussed on their good memories of Warrick, of his personality, his friendship, his sense of humor.
Sara didn't contribute much, but she did listen, and watch. She listened as Greg and Nick traded stories about Warrick's video game exploits. She watched Greg's girlfriend rest a hand on his thigh when Greg started to look forlorn. She watched Mandy just sitting beside Nick, her keen eyes watching him, but never actually doing anything.
She listened as Jim remembered his first encounter with Warrick, and watched as his hand rested on Sofia's thigh. She watched Lindsey listen with eager ears as they recounted stories and she listened to Lindsey recount her favourite game with Warrick.
Finally her eyes settled on Grissom and Catherine. Sara listened as Catherine told the group about the first time she met Warrick, and her eyes watched Grissom, who had put his arm around Catherine.
Her former supervisor and lover had been quiet for most of the evening, and it wasn't until towards the end of the day that he told everyone about his first meeting with Warrick. Everyone was quiet as he recounted his memories of the young man but Sara was only half listening.
Instead she was watching the subtle movements between Grissom and Catherine. The way they brushed against each other and the way their hands were touching.
She knew it was over for her and Grissom. It probably had been since she left Las Vegas. And the truth was, she felt like she didn't fit in anymore. So many things had changed since she'd gone – everything seemed different.
It was time to go back to San Francisco.
Catherine came back to the kitchen after seeing Lindsey to bed. She found that Gil had finished all the cleaning up.
"You're amazing."
"Just helpful," he replied, putting down the cloth. "Did Lindsey go to sleep alright?"
Catherine nodded. "Yeah. She was tired and ready to sleep."
"And you?"
"I'm tired. But…"
"But?"
She took his hand. "Come to bed with me."
FINIS
