For Ghosty, after a little conversation …
It upset Jane to find out from Pike that Lisbon had accepted his marriage proposal before she boarded that flight to D.C. When she called him on his secrecy outside on the bench, she was right. Scared for a moment that he had already made a fatal error and Lisbon would send him packing, he apologized immediately. Because he was wrong. It touched Lisbon to watch him go through the emotional process and give her what she needed. The full truth.
But as he looked at her, smiling at him with wet eyes, he couldn't help but smile, too. Yes, because she was smiling. But even more because he felt cold and hot inside. And the cold was because she hadn't told him the full truth. She hadn't told him she'd agreed to marry Pike. It mattered. Not because of the quickly meaningless engagement, but because she hadn't told him about it. He had to hear it from Pike, of all people. She didn't know that yet.
He and Lisbon were full of secrets and, in all honesty, she had probably forgotten hers. It wasn't the first time she hadn't told him about very important things. Things important to them, and their struggling friendship toward the end. Like deciding to move to D.C. in the first place. When he'd called her on it, she'd said she didn't tell him because it was "hard." Lisbon had a cowardly streak where he had a self-protective streak. But they both resulted in information withheld. Secrets.
Later that night at home …
As soon as they'd closed the front door, she held an arm and swung into him, gripping his waist, her head burrowing against his chest.
Jane lived for these moments and held her close against his still chilly heart.
"I've wanted to do this all day. Especially after I got after you about keeping secrets from me. When you apologized, I thought I'd cry for a moment, it meant so much to me. And then you shared what you were thinking with me. I thought I'd hurt your feelings and I just wanted to hug it away."
"You do. You do hug it away. And you did already with your eyes and your smile, right there and then."
Lisbon was surprised he hadn't started removing a stitch of her clothing, holding her close, his cheek on her head, gently rocking them. "Is, is something wrong, Patrick? Did I hurt you, after all?"
"I was already hurt, love."
Lisbon pulled away just enough to look at him, her face soft and sad.
Jane almost faltered, looking into those green eyes, round with concern and wanting to know how he was hurt. Well, someone had to have a little courage in this family.
"You said you'd come outside because you needed a little air. You must have been already upset then."
"Yes."
"Tell me." She planted a tiny kiss low on his jaw.
"Pike said something. Told me something."
Teresa stiffened. It could only be one thing, to put Jane in this mood. What had she been thinking? That the whole thing would evaporate like fairy dust in the heat of love? "Oh."
"You know what he told me." If she would say it now, somehow he'd feel better. He didn't want to be the one, even now.
She turned in his arms and turned the other side of her face to rest there, little fingers digging at his waist. "I wanted to tell you. But it was too hard. Then I just forgot. It was so short— only a breath."
"You're still not telling me, Teresa. Only a breath … of what?"
"It's hard to say."
"Think how hard it was to hear it from Pike. I want you to tell me. As you should have." Pulling her away, he looked into her eyes, calmly but seriously, waiting.
"Marcus … Marcus … he asked me to marry him."
Jane raised his eyebrows and waited, still looking at her.
"And I said, yes. But oh, Patrick, it was because I was so mad at you. So mad and hurt and desperate to make myself get away from you."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I— it happened so fast and was over so fast … I just forgot."
"But certainly it was the first thing you remembered when you saw him standing in the bullpen …"
"Y-y-yes."
"And you didn't say anything to me. He told me. How could you let that happen to me, Teresa? It hurt like hell. And it was humiliating when he realized that you hadn't told me."
"I didn't know he had told you."
"You know that's not the point. You can't keep things from me just because 'it's hard' to say them."
"I must have looked like a hypocrite, telling you not to keep secrets from me."
"Yeah. It crossed my mind. But I'm glad you confronted me. I don't want to be secretive with you anymore. It's habit, but I can change it with time."
"You are changing it, Patrick, and I will too. I'll do better. I love the things you do for me, even changing yourself to bring us closer. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't want to hurt you, but I made it worse."
"Is there anything more?" He was nibbling on her neck now, pushing her jacket from her shoulders, fingers on the buttons of her blouse.
"How do you expect me to think when you're doing that?" She caught his mouth to prevent him from answering and put her hands at his belt buckle.
They made their happy way to bed, leaving a trail of clothing. Jane's thoughts were foggy and fleeting as he plunged into her heat and forgot everything else. Something about a ring and Fischer and an island …