Title: "KAGAMI"
Author: LegolasLover2003 aka Ashley
Category: Anime - "Gosick"
Genre: General
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to "Gosick".
Author's Note: This story is a narrative from the perspective of Brian Roscoe. It is a short one-shot.
I had heard it said long ago, a story from the far East, that a woman's constant companion is a mirror. However, the same monk who made this assumption is wrong. He states that women are jealous, vain, deceitful, without shame, arouse men's desire, and lack empathy. That a woman's body is forever unclean. If this is true... then why do I feel this way? If this is true... then why do I long for the mother I never had?
If this is true... then why do I carry a mirror?
My other half doesn't understand. We carry the mirror, but we carry the woman as well. We are the jealous ones... we are the vain, the deceitful magicians who are without shame. We are the ones with the desires of men... we are the ones who hate this world. It is not the woman who is unclean... but that which springs forth from her very womb.
This is true... because we carry the mirror...
As children, we were rejected. Tossed to the wolves of the wild, our own kind deserting us. For years we cursed the green eyes that made us one of them... and the scarlet hair that spoke of the sins of the father. But the day we found her, our blasphemous lips stopped their scorn and finally found words of kindness at last.
We loved her and wanted her by our side always.
She was just like our mother. Beautiful but stripped of her dignity and forced to bear the vile create that was neither a wolf nor a human. But unlike the wretch which gave birth to us... She cared. We were tools for her to use to regain the soul she had lost... but neither myself nor my other half cared.
We loved her and wanted only our smiles to reflect in her emerald gaze.
The bastard who laid his filthy hands upon our golden saint had to pay for his crimes. Who stole away the one thing in our lives which held meaning. And so we searched... we perfected our magic... our trickery... Only to find her. The canary locked away in the gilded cage.
But she wasn't the same. Her smile was not for us.
That child, so much like my other half and myself... brought into this world on such a holy night as Noel. How dare that pompous wizard toy with her? She was ours and he stole her away in the dead of night! I couldn't stop him... I could only watch as she disappeared from my sight. We found her... confined against her will.
But she wasn't the same. Her eyes saw only the soul far away.
We would have gone to the ends of the earth for her. She was the mother we never had. The loving figure we craved. But her love was for another. Brian couldn't accept that. And so in the end... I fought and died at her side.
What ever became of my brother?
I couldn't be with her in her last moments. I wanted to die by her side, to die fighting for her in the end. And yet this girl... I could have destroyed her. I tried to destroy her. My other half would never have understood.
As the waves rocked the ship, I felt the truth deep in my bones. My other half was gone... she was gone... they had left me with naught but the product of sin and shame.
The girl's eyes... so much like her own... she... cries for me. Me... a wretched urchin who knew nothing but hatred in his short life. Is it wrong to hate the girl who brought my dear Cordelia such pain? Is it wrong to hate the child of the father who has destroyed everything I have left?
Brother... forgive me... I couldn't protect the lonely dove who has finally flown to freedom.
As I stand on one side, I reach out my hand and there is a mirror. It is myself, reaching out just the same. My hand does not touch glass but warm flesh. The mirror reflects the light in my soul... and I reflect the dark in the soul of the mirror.
And beside myself and the reflection... stands the radiant woman who taught us how to smile at last.
Perhaps I haven't died alone after all... brother... Cordelia...
We are finally free.
KAGAMI
笑顔忘れたまま苦しみすれ違う世界
This is a world where I pass by suffering while having forgotten how to smile
NOTES: (take out the spaces for the links and add a backslash to the first one)
- "Kagami" is the Japanese word for "Mirror". I'm using the mirror in two senses here. Each brother is a mirror of the other, and also, Victorique is a mirror of Cordelia.
- Bit dealing with the mirror and vices of women (1300 Buddhist writing) came from this source: http :/ www . westernbuddhistreview . com / vol4 / mirror_for_women . html
- Kanji after the title is from the first ending song for "Gosick" and came from this source: http :/ www . animelyrics . com / anime / gosick / resuscitatedhope . jis
- Translation for the kanji came from this source: http :/ atashi . wordpress . com / 2011 / 01 / 18 / gosick-ending-theme-resuscitated-hope /
- Extra information about Brian Roscoe came from this source: http :/ gosick . wikia . com / wiki / Brian_Roscoe