CHAPTER 1
The thought of living without you is practically unbearable. Being separated from you for even a matter of second is like being torn in half. You are a part of me, the better part, the one thing that makes me feel a little bit more than nothing. You are, and forever will be, the love of my life. People may look at us like we're crazy but they just don't understand. They don't understand that our love is unconditional. In life, or death.
Augustus Waters, my love, died three weeks ago. He is slowly decomposing but is still beautiful. I kiss his rotten lips, trying to remember the sweetness they help just a short month ago. His hair is disgusting and greasy but the same autumn leave shade. Mahogany. They still curl and wave the same, but doesn't smell the same. Sometimes I get angry, oh so angry. If god was supposed to love me and give miracles, then why couldn't he save Augustus from his cancer?! I get furious. Hot, boiling, white hot rage fills me. It's hard to control because it wasn't fair for Augustus to leave me. Leave me alone in misery and confusion.
I know he loved me and he said to let go because he wants me to move on, to be happy he said. But I can't be happy without him. He was my everything, my reason for living. I could always kill myself to be with him but then I couldn't get vengeance. On all of god's so called, "followers". Huh, what a ridiculous term. They sure do follow him. Follow a cruel being who doesn't deserve to have such power and people who worship him. They should be worshiping me. The one who actually understands what this world means.
I have to find something to do with all of this anger. Something to take it out on. Or someone. I can find followers for me, my causes, my wants and visions and prophecies. They will love me. Maybe fear me but isn't fear the same as love? A strong feeling towards someone that involves a lot of pain and suffering. I miss him so much and wish I could see him again, but that will have to wait. My cancer is being healed, almost gone. My hair is grown below my shoulders to the center of my chest and I'm easing off the oxygen tank. Normally I would be thrilled, but I am nothing without Augustus. He was my everything. Immediately after I feel enough souls have suffered to redeem Augustus I shall take my own life.
CHAPTER 2
I started a chat to gather followers for my vengeance. I have recruited an army of 150 followers. Not as much as I would like but it's enough. They don't fear me but love, worship, and respect me. They too have their own reasons for believing God is unfair but I ignore those because all I care about is Augustus. Ever since I met him it was all I cared about. Before that I was depressed, but hell any kid with life threatening cancer should. Then I met him and I knew that from now on all that mattered was that he was safe, healthy, and most importantly, happy. My own needs were forgotten and I only wanted to be with him. I was the happiest I'd ever been when he told me he loved me, I loved him too and if he was happy with me then my life would be perfection.
Then his cancer got worse, as he put it, "He lit up like a Christmas tree." My heart tightened in my chest, my stomach twisted and violently thrashed. I didn't know what to do. My whole world literally came crashing down all at once. I threw myself into his arms, smelling him, feeling his tight, muscled back. This couldn't be happening. He can't die. He has to live long, be happy. I would give myself in a heartbeat to be able to save him.