Closet Troll.

Note- So…um… I do not own death note…

Another note- I thought that I should put some of my conversation with a 'guy friend' on here because I find it kind of funny. While rereading the conversation, he said I was sort of annoying…che…-_-…that twit….so hope you guys find my attempt in humor slightly funny…

L scanned through his computer, looking for 'clues about Kira' but stumble upon something amusing.

"So Kira?"

"What?" Light Yagami asked.

"You admitted you're Kira! O-O"

"O-o."

"Are you gay?"

"WHAT? O-O"

L grabbed light's face, (Light-: MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!) and shoved it at his computer screen.

In front of him, words bold and underline said "Misa Misa is a Man!"

Light's eyes widened, shook the news off and sat back at his seat…across the room…away from L….

"So….?" L sang out.

"So what?"

"Are you gay? :3"

"NO!"

"It says-"

"THAT'S A RUMOR, YOU (A/N;BLEEP BLEEP -_-BLEEEEP)!"

"Oh…but you have to have a gay side…it's a true fact, that men acts gay at least once or few times…"

"Where did you get that bullshit?"

"…Opra-"

*Smack*

"Are you sure you aren't gay?"

"FUCK NO! THE ONLY DICK I LIKE IS MY OWN!"

"So you like dick? ^_^"

"What? NO!"

"But you said…"

"No…I like playing with my own- O-o…uhh."

"So you play with dicks…not only that but your own?…tsk tsk you mustn't speak of those naughty things outside your bedroom…or any place you masturbate." (A/N- My computer spell-checked masturbate for me…how did that word get in-…uncle…definitely uncle…)

"I MASTURBATE IN MY OWN BEDROOM!" Light screamed angrily.

*Watari, Matsuda, and Mr. Yagami pokes their head through the door, looking at Light with a 'what the fuck' look*

"and no where else…-_-"

":3."

"You're annoying…"

"But you love me right, Mr. closet troll? :3", L said as he took a piece of cake of no where.

Light smacks L in the face.

…L face plants into his cake.

For weeks, L bothered light with the same question, until one night…

Light walked into his bedroom, feeling slight horny. He locked the door. Layed on his bed, hands slowly sliding down his pants when L jumped out of his closet, with a scar on his forehead, round glasses, and a wand in his hand, screamed, "Crucio."

Light screamed like a little girl, hands still in his pants.

"TELL ME THE TRUTH ARE YOU GAY?"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, L?"

"WRONG ANSWER! CRUCIO!"

"-_-."

"What? It said in the book that *Harry Potter book upside down*…or was it Imperio...to do what…"

"I'm…gonna…smack…you…"

"WAIT! WAIT! JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION!"

"FINE! FINE! YOU WANT AN ANSWER? OK! I'M GAY! I LOVE YOU EVER SINCE I MET YOU, I WANT TO TOUCH YOU EVERYWHERE TILL IT HURTS AND MANHANDLE PLACES TILL YOU CRY!"

":3 That explains the gay porn stash in the closet…"

Light kisses L with force and groped his ass.

"I LOVE YOU."

"O-O"

Then someone walks in…

"Hey guys," L walks in the room.

Light starts, "Wait…if you're there…then whose?"

The L that Light groped, smiled and took off his contacts… red eyes appear.

"… O_O"

"See you tomorrow night…," BB winked, "here L, got everything on recording." He handed L a record tape and then jump out the window.

"How?…When?"

"I wasn't in your kitchen the whole and didn't steal your delicious cookie…oh and your hand is still in your pants…non-closet troll :D"

"O-o oh…well…" *faints*

"Just as planned…" L smiled as he bit into one of Light's stolen cookies.

Closet troll- An ugly (explaining the troll…although I don't find light ugly…) homosexual who doesn't accept him/herself as a gay.

NOW PEOPLE USE THIS WORD EVERY WHERE YOU GO…I want to see it spreading around in the internet…if you don't want to and think I'm retarded… well I agree with you on that ^-^.