A/N: For this one, I blame my boyfriend and I randomly talking about Bleach on a date. Seriously, if he wasn't talking about who he'd like to fight in Bleach and I didn't open my mouth and say how I'd like to play strip poker with Rangiku and have her lose then thought more about an interesting location… this would not be written.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, the awesome Tite Kubo does. I don't even profit from this, which sucks ass.

A bottle of sake, playing cards, some of my fellow lieutenants and an empty room. To be exact, it was my captain's empty office. We were sitting on his desk and mine, which we had brought in earlier so we could fit everyone. We moved the left over paperwork onto my captain's chair.

We were playing strip poker, I was losing but I had a full house; however there was a flush on the board and I had a feeling the only sober lieutenant, Momo Hinamori, had it. She was on a lucky streak and was the only one with only one missing item. Her glossy black hair caressed her shoulders very cutely as she bet the pink scarf she won off me earlier in the game.

Isane raised her the sandal she won off Shuhei. I folded, surrendering my shihakusho and leaving me in just my panties and bra. Izuru blushed at the site and folded, leaving him barefoot and Isane and Momo as the only ones left in the hand.

The dealer, Renji, flipped over a card and Momo squealed and bet her zanpakuto. It was the king of hearts. Isane took a swig of sake and called with her own.

"Ladies, turn over your cards," Renji requested.

Isane was the first to comply, then Momo who looked heartbroken. Isane had a royal flush but Momo just had a flush. The silver haired lieutenant smirked at her younger comrade and motioned to have the pot pushed toward her. It was then Nanao's turn to deal – for the record; she was forced to join us by her captain.

I had a good hand, felt really good about it. Pocket kings. I had to play it. To show how I felt about the hand I was dealt, I bet my bra. I took off the offensive garment –really hated bras- and threw the large piece of fabric into the middle. The guys stared and I hoped like hell that I put them on tilt with my huge breasts. The girls folded when they noticed. They took it as a sign I had a really good hand. Renji smirked and called with his headband-thing, Izuru bet his shihakusho, Shuhei bet his zanpakuto and so on. All the guys stayed in the hand.

Nanao glared at my bare boobs and put a card face down and three up. Two kings and a queen, which gave me quad kings. I was squirming in my spot on my captain's desk in excitement. So far, there was no way anyone had a better hand. I couldn't wait till my turn. I got my bet ready as Chojiro contemplated his move. He got sight of what I was doing and simply checked, making it my turn.

I threw my underwear into the pot and declared, "All in!" Just then, my captain walked in.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto, what are you doing?" Captain Hitsugaya demanded to know, a frown on his young face.

"Playing poker, wanna join?" a drunken Renji offered, probably not realizing whom he was talking to and slurring his words.

"Where's my paperwork! Why are you naked!" my captain shouted, clearly ignoring the redhead, just not the one I wanted him to ignore, "And why are you playing poker on my desk!"

"We're playing strip poker, first of all, it made sense to play it on your desk and bring mine over so we could fit everyone and your paperwork is in your chair, Captain," I explained as well as my drunken mind would allow. I put my cards down and stood.

Hitsugaya's eye twitched in anger, I think it was anger, and he turned away. "Get this cleaned up," he ordered and walked out.