"Young lady, you are GROUNDED! Go to your realm, and no causing chaos inside or outside of it!" Oy. Moms can be so annoying. All I did was cause a little chaos on earth, just enough to make it interesting. That's all. Okay, I full-out statred a war. All over one little apple. Goodness. Or, should I say Goddess? After all, I am Eris, the goddess of chaos and dicsord. I just wanted to.. okay, I'll start from the begining.
I better start at school. It was a normal enough Friday, everyone making plans for the weekend. Hera and I planned this whole sleepover with all our friends. Aphrodite and Athena were comming, too. Medusa was suppoed to bring gummy snakes for us to snack on. I was going to bring this awsome golden apple I made, I wanted to show it to everyone. Well, I wasn't only going to show it to people. I was going to give it to the fairest goddess of all. I knew that Hera, Aphrodite and Athena would all go for it, but I never saw a war comming. I thought it was just going to be the usual, you know, a few battles and a lot of chaos on earth for those ouny mortals to enjoy. It was going to be the best sleepover ever.
Boy was I wrong. It turns out that on the same day, Peleus and Thetis were getting married, and they didn't invite me! So, I did what I had planned to do, but without the sleepover. I crashed the wedding anyways, and in my temper (you mortals must really not like those. It even causes chaos on Olympis!), I threw the apple down on the table, shouting "This apple is for the fairest of them all!" Yes, I know, it sounds so Snow-White-ish, but I wasn't feeling witty at all. I was just MAD. All my friends were there, and I wasn't invited! It just wasn't fair. As expected, Athena, Aphrodite, and Hera all reached for it at the same time, but Zeus stopped them. Too bad. Things could have been much more interesting if he hadn't. He basically said, "Let's ask that random guy named Paris over there who the fairest is, and who should get the apple." I wasll Hello! That's MY apple! Shouldn't I get to pick? Bu NOOOOO! You had to go and ask some random guy- oooh! He's hott! I just decided to watch from the sidelines. My three friends went up to him and asked who should get the apple. Of course, they HAD to include bribary, otherwise he might pick the wrong one! Zeus forbid he should just pick the one he likes, not the gift he likes. Or perhaps, he could have looked over a little to his left and seen me, and chosen me. But, no. Hera offered him power, Aphrodite offered him love, and Athena offered weath. He picked - what else? - love. So Hera and Athena got majorly pissed, but had to agree that it was fair-ish, so all they could do was sulk. Ha!
Aphrodite had promiced Paris this hot chick Helen for his wife, so she had to be stolen from her current husband, and blah blah blah you probebly know the rest of the story by know. If you dont, then look it up, that was my side. I simply enjoied the chaos that I had started. But, as I said, It's not really my fault, I only masde the apple for a sleepover. That's all!