Waking up with an extraordinary hang over the next morning, I flung my hand out at the blinds and they shut themselves with a harsh sounding noise. Groaning, I buried my head in the pillow and hoped it would suffocate me. The noises, always loud and sharp, were harmful to my ears now, and my head pounded and my eyes, though closed, thought the world spun.

The door to my room creaked open, and footsteps echoed over the rotting wood. Though my nose was buried in the pillow, I thought I could smell the concoction that was meant to make me feel better. And though it might make my headache go away, and make the world stop spinning at an awkward angle, I knew it wouldn't get rid of what really hurt me. And thats why I didn't turn my head and grab the liquid off them.

"You snuck out again last night."

Laura's voice was calm, non-judgemental, and she carefully placed the mug on the wooden bed side table. But she stayed standing, and kept her eyes trained on me. I knew. I always knew. Because thats what she always did.

I groaned.

"You don't have to tell me, or my head, that." I tried to moan at her but my words came out wrong and were muffled by the pillow.

Now, Laura sat down, and eased her soft hand down my back in an attempt to soothe me.

"This is not the answer." She told me softly, leaning in to whisper into my ear and smooth my dark curls away from my cheek. "Killing yourself is not the answer."

"Who said I was trying to kill myself?" I finally rolled over, flipping onto my back and looking up at the ceiling. My eyes traced the patterns I knew so well, the patterns I could draw in my sleep, the patterns that once made me feel safe, and at home. Now they didn't do that for me. Nothing did. "I could have been just trying to have a good time."

Laura looked down on me pityingly.

"You are a sensible girl, Kataleena." She told me wisely, and she looked old beyond her years as she stared into my eyes. "And I should know. I've known you your entire life. You've always made the right choices."

I snorted with disbelieving laughter, feeling a slight stinging in my nose to indicate I was about to start sobbing. Blasted hormones!

"Have I now?" I sat up suddenly, startling Laura enough that she shuffled back a bit. Something in my eyes must've scared her, because she started to rise from the bed slowly. "What do you call this latest choice of mine, then, hey? Is this the right choice, Laura? Well? Is it?!"

The room startled to tremble and vibrate. The mug on the table shook and the contents began to slop out, burning a scar into the wood.

"It was not your fault!" Laura cried at me desperately, and she wasn't backing away like everybody else would. She kept her feet planted firmly on the ground and her hands out towards me, palms first, as if I was a wild animal she was trying to soothe and tame. "You were drunk through no fault of your own!"

"I should have known!" I screeched, tears blurring my vision, my head pounding at such a loud noise. "I should have sensed it!"

"You were grieving!" Laura reminded me, her voice rising an octave as the vibrations worsened.

"I was stupid!"

Just when it looked like everything was going to climax, that the walls were going to cave and the building was going to collapse and I was finally going to get the release I craved, it stopped. I couldn't do it after all. Something inside me, the thing I didn't want to acknowledge, had made me realize that I couldn't just kill myself and be done with it. I had to live out this life and live with the bad decisions I'd made. I had made my bed, and now I must lie in it.

When only a few tears slipped out of my eyes and not sobbing presented itself, Laura stayed where she was for a few minutes, her dark eyes locked on me as I silently rocked. We were mute for a few minutes, coming to terms with everything. Then, Laura approached me. She sat down. And spoke as if nothing had happened.

"You have to tell him."

I let out a bark of sharp, humourless laughter.

"No, I really don't." I told her. "He's already got far too many things to deal with. He'll think I'm trying to trap him. Or he'll try to get rid of us. After all there's only so many," I paused, trying to find the right word, and looked down on myself. "Mistakes that he can live with. And I can't have me being powerless against him."

Laura now smiled, and placed her hand on my arm.

"My dear, you are hardly powerless. You're the most powerful witch I know or have ever heard of. Even with your mistakes I doubt he could do any serious harm to you if you don't let him."

But still, I shook my head in all seriousness.

"No. He cannot know. Besides, it would put all of us at risk if he did. He is petulant, I know that much, and impulsive. I can't have us all put at risk because of a mistake of my own doing."

Laura lifted her hand and pushed my thick hair out of my face with a particularly maternal gesture. The care she took over me, the love she showed me. I loved her, and had no wish to see her harmed. I had no wished to see any of my coven harmed. They were my friends. No, they were more then that. They were my family.

"We've all talked about it." Laura began carefully, retracting her hand to place it delicately in her lap. Her pale skin, her light brown hair, all of it screamed delicate. No. I couldn't see her harmed.

But still, she continued.

"And we think it would be for the best if you did tell him. It might even help our coven, with him as an alliance. And it would protect you from whoever would want to harm you because of the mistakes you've made or the power you hold."

"He would kill us the instant he found out. I've heard about whats been happening in New Orleans." I tried to shove myself out of the bed, but the headache rose, the nausea increased and Laura had to shove me back into the bed. "I have no wish to go back over to America and start that all up again."

Laura sighed.

"What of Emerline if you do not tell him?" She finally asked. My hands clenched over the bed sheets, and I resisted the urge to rip them. Emerline, my darling little sister. I had to restrain myself from snarling at Laura for even mentioning her name whilst talking about this whole thing. She could not be tainted by this. She would not be harmed. I wouldn't allow it.

"Emerline will be better off. Are you suggesting she wouldn't be? He'd kill her within an instant."

Laura delicately shrugged, once more seeming light and petite. Innocent.

"And if he decided to not dispose of you? If he decides to support us and become our ally? Wouldn't that be better for Emerline, for all of us? Wouldn't it keep us safe?"

"You are just talking about ifs and buts! He is too impulsive, we don't know what he will do! So we do nothing. That is the best thing for all of us."

Laura stared at me for a moment, eyes locked with mine, as if she expected me to crumble under pressure and concede to her will. But I wouldn't. Not with this I wouldn't.

Finally, after a moments silence, she inclined her head to show that I had won this argument. But somehow I knew she would try to argue her point again, just as she had done three hundred billion times before.

"Please, just drink your drink." She stood up and gestured to the mug on my stand, that was surrounded by the indentations the liquid had made when spilled onto the table. "It will make you feel better." She started to walk towards the door, opening it with a creak. She paused for a moment to look back at me.

"And please don't sneak out again. We're here to help and support you. Please don't push us away."

And with that, she was gone.

I could hear her retreating footsteps. I could hear the children in the lower parts of the house, laughing and playing here because it was too cold and wet to go outside. I shook my head, feeling fresher then I had in days, maybe even weeks. Of course it was too cold and wet. It was England, after all. I could hear the Coven grouped in different rooms, the sound of potions and meals being made, spells being practised, incantations being written. This was my home.

I lifted my mug, still with a smile on my face, and raised it in toast to an invisible person. No, I was right. I had made to right decision, for everybody involved.

With this settled, I put the mug to my lips and tipped it back, knocking it back as I had been for several days now.

My body jarred as the liquid hit my system. I gasped for breath. I heard the mug shattering on the wooden floor. My eyes were wide as the door was suddenly flung open, revealing Laura and a few other coven witches. They didn't seem surprised. They converged on me, flooding around my bed to try and push me down into the pillows, wrap me up warm in blankets.

"Shush, hush." Laura, with pained eyes, cupped my face, now clammy with sweat, in her cool, nimble hands. "I'm so sorry, darling. But we had to make the right decision, for everybody. The drinks haven't just been getting rid of your nausea, they've been dulling down your powers— just for a little while— just enough for us to sneak this potion into you without you sensing it. I'm so sorry darling." Her voice was becoming more far away and echoey. Her face was becoming blurry, going in and out of my vision. I felt myself grow faint, and tired.

"I'm so sorry darling."

Black.