Summary- His eyes were wide and wild, he'd tasted the thrill of breaking the rules. Just the smallest sip and he was hooked, all it took was for him to say enough. Set after waters of mars.
A/N- this is my first doctor who fanfic ^_^ To set the mood listen to muse's Apocalypse Please
This is the end
The doctor pulled at the levers and controls as he piloted the tardis through space and time. He didn't care where he was going as long as it was away.
Far away.
The events on Mars haunted and echoed around him as the Tardis hummed and swayed. They swirled and gripped at his hearts, the man he became.
The man he slowly felt himself becoming ever since he lost rose.
Alone, cold and distant. Timelord victorious.
"Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!" He practically shouted as he controlled the tardis with shakey hands.
Back on mars he'd become the man that he could no longer respect. A vengeful god who thought he could change it all.
He was wrong.
"So wrong!" he shouted to no one but himself as he stepped back from the controls breathing heavily. His eyes were wide and wild, he'd tasted the thrill of breaking the rules. Just the smallest sip and he was hooked, all it took was for him to say enough.
Enough of the death.
Enough of the destruction….and enough of things falling apart around him.
He stood up and said no, disobeyed the laws and tried to claim them as his.
He shook his head as if to try and clear it before sitting down, his fingers laced in his hair tugging slightly.
He was scared.
No, he was terrified.
His end, his death was predicted and it was only a matter of time before the knocks would sound.
His hearts pounded in his chest as he desperately tried not to think about it.
His mind jumped to another subject.
He needed someone.
Not just to keep him company but he literally -needed- someone. Someone to keep him a tiny bit human. So he won't fall again, so he won't become that man again.
The man that stole a noble heroes death from a woman who deserved it.
He tugged at his hair once more before he began to pace restlessly, his mind going a mile a minute.
He needed to calm down, he needed to calm -himself down-
Just him.
No Donna to smack him and say "cool it spaceman"
No Martha to sigh and comfort him.
And….
Most painful of all….
No rose to stay by his side and hold his hand.
His hearts froze painfully and he forced out a sigh, "She's happy….she's with him….she's happy….she's….alive…" he repeats to himself and it becomes less painful.
If he was to die, if his time was coming to an end….
Your song is ending sir……
He stopped pacing, his face set in a blank expression and looked to the controls.
"No."
When you run with the Doctor, it feels like it will never end. But however hard you try, you can't run for ever. Everybody knows that everybody dies, and nobody knows it like the Doctor. But I do think that all the skies of all the worlds might just turn dark, if he ever, for one moment accepts it.
End