I own nothing. This is my version of The Joker and Harley Quinn. My oc will not be named Harley but she will have some of the same characteristics (not looks but the whole "puddin' " thing.) I will try to do the Joker justice. In this fic, I'm using Heath Ledger's Joker because I LOVE him. Please send reviews if you like it or even if you think it's horrible.

Prologue*************************************************************************************

My cover has been blown. I don't know how He found out, but He did. It must have been the informat. Never trust a fucktard to do anything. I guess he was too stupid to know that I would kill him if he ratted me out. 5 fucking years of undercover work gone in one day. They told me at the Bureau not to get involved with the boss but I couldn't help it. He was just so handsome and very charismatic for a psycho serial killer mob boss.

The day started out normal. Woke up, beat the shit out of some rookie how has the audacity to grab my ass, ate breakfast, and got ready for the job. He rolled out of bed after me and shot the rookie after I beat him up. He had a constant smell of gasoline and greasepaint. I found it strangely pleasant.

It wasn't until we got to Gotham National Bank that I noticed that something was wrong. He didn't kiss me or even slap me down like he normally did when He had to kill some arrogant rook. That was one of the things He hated about some of the henchmen. They were just too confident. They all thought that He wouldn't kill them. Oh, how wrong where they.

When we got to the bank and had everyone on the floor, I turned to him and said, "What now, Puddin'?" He just looked at me with his evil permanent grin. Something was off about it though. He looked sad, almost like He was going to do something he regretted. Then He said the words that struck fear into me. Words that I wish He never would have whispered. "Why so serious?"

Chapter1*********************************************************************************************

FIVE YEARS EARLIER

I don't know how I got roped into this. I should have just told Director Michaels to shove it. It is so hard being a woman in the FBI. Everyone things I'm looking to sleep my way to the top. No fucking thank you. I have come too fucking far to just give it away because some people think I'm the Bureaus slut. I have been many things but a slut isn't one. Now I have been assigned to undercover work that not only could have years but will also put me in very close proximity to the Clown Prince himself. I have been given the job of getting on the Joker's side with any means necessary. I'm now just waiting to be briefed on the investigation by Senior Agent Sanders. Agent Sanders is a nice woman and a damn good agent, only about 20 years older than me.

"Agent Smith, Agent Sanders is ready for your briefing now." called her secretary. Here goes nothing. I walked in with my head high and shoulders back. I looked like a woman on a mission, which is exactly what I was.

"Agent Smith, please sit. As you now know, you are the best agent the Bureau has to deal with the Joker. But be warned. He, as you should know, is a very dangerous man. Not only that but he is very charismatic when he wants to be. He is reckless and not above sacrificing someone else's life in favor of his own. He has had a female companion before but one of our informate's have said that he abused her and in the last 6 months, has killed her. You need to be what she was."

"So basically, I need to seduce him." I said.

"Yes, but be warned Cassandra. Don't let him seduce you too. He can easily turn on his charm and make you believe he hung the moon. That's how he got the last woman to help him. She had been on of his doctors at Arkham." warned Sanders.

"I'll do better than that. This is not the first time I've went undercover."

"Okay, here is a file on the Joker. It's not much but it's all we have been able to get on him. You have 2 days before we send you to Gotham. In those 2 days you will be given a new wardrobe. You have to flaunt yourself to him. You may even have to kill people to get him to notice you. We have told the police and the Batman about you so they will not actually pursue you but they will pretend to to make it look real. That is all of the advice I have to give you. You'll have to figure a lot of it out on your own. The profilers can't profile him but maybe you will if you get close enough. You are dismissed."

I walked out of her office and packed up my stuff to go home. When I got home I went straight to work reading his file. She was right, it wasn't much. It was what nearly everyone knows about him. It did though have a rare picture of him without the greasepaint. She was right. Even with the scars he was handsome. But he will not make me into some bimbo who would do whatever he said when he snapped his fingers.