This is my new story, it started out from a comment Edlovesme made when she was pre reading 'That Night', the thought stuck with me and so here we are again .
Before we begin a big thank you to AG who is my beta again, to Edlovesme for the wonderful idea and plot and for agreeing to pre read again and a special mention to Rita01tx she came up with the perfect title. Thank you all of you, you keep me sane and on track.
No copyright infringements are intended. The plot is mine I'm just borrowing the characters
Deprivation
BPOV
Lying here, counting the cracks in the ceiling I make a mental note to speak to my landlord because there are definitely three new huge cracks up there that weren't there the last time James was using my pussy as a trampoline. Yes, I know I really shouldn't be concentrating on the ceiling but it's my own fault because I really expected things to be different this time. I don't know why I'm surprised; the last time I let him come home with me I redesigned the colour palette for the living room and decided on the pattern and fabric for my new curtains while he was 'worshipping me'. His words not mine. I know I sound like a nasty ungrateful bitch, but I'm really not. I'm horny, frustrated and confused and if I'm completely honest, lonely and scared that I'm going to go through life on my own with a vagina that has healed up.
James is not a bad lover really. He is not selfish or in a hurry, he knows where all the important areas are and he pays attention, in fact he tries really hard to give me an 'earth shattering orgasm.' I have tried to tell him that I'd be happy to have just a little ripple, but I've come to the conclusion that my lady bits don't work. I have only had three lovers in my dismal excuse for a sex life but that's enough to convince myself I have the problem not them.
Jacob was my first and he was my high school sweetheart. We lived the whole cliché when he took my virginity on prom night in the back of his mini- van, on a smelly old mattress. It wasn't earth shattering or even earth shaking. I put my lack of orgasms that night down to both of us being young and inexperienced, he was your classic fumbling teenager and I was no better. We tried to experiment after that fateful night, but when you only have the back of a minivan to stretch out in, things are not exactly conducive to a fulfilling sex life.
We were together all of our Senior year but he didn't cope at all with us being apart when I went off to college in Chicago. The distance was just too far as he stayed to work in his dad's business at home. His jealousy got out of hand if I didn't answer my phone or be available to dial into Skype session instantly and he would scream and shout at me all the time, so we spent most of our time arguing. Eventually we just stopped calling each other and a few months later my dad dropped into one of our weekly phone catch up conversations that Jacob had got a local girl from his reservation, Leah, pregnant. I have to admit I was relieved and I took great delight in listening to my dad tell me about how badly Jacob and Leah's parents had taken the news.
My second lover was a guy called Marcus. He was on the same course as me at North western and we started out as friends first. You know the usual going out for coffee after lectures, then working together on projects before a group of us went out to celebrate someone's birthday. That night, after too many cocktails, we ended up in a heavy make out session in the back of a club. While I was in that state of drunkenness, the one where you love everything and everybody I was fine. I was really in to him, we had a good fumble in the dark passage way at the back of the club and I had my first taste of 'not quite all the way sex' in public. I even managed to a have an orgasm as he took me against the wall in the dark, under the stairwell. While we didn't actually fuck, he got me off with his fingers and so began my first grown up relationship.
Unfortunately as soon as I was sober and over the mortification of what I'd done in a public place, the problems began. When I told Marcus that he'd given me my first orgasm ever he was so proud. Problem was this turned him into some sort of sex fiend and he tried to jump me at every available opportunity so he could continue my "education". He was a firm believer that women could have many different types of orgasm that were dependent on where, when, how and what position they were in at the time. I proved to be the flaw in his orgasm theory. Never again did he manage to even raise a smile down there. It all became too much for him and even though we both agreed it was all my fault he explained I was draining all his sexual energy and he needed to be with other women to recharge it. Who was I to argue? So I let him walk away and instead I purchased the first of what is now quite a large collection of mostly redundant vibrators and dildos. At least they hang around and don't disappear off for other women.
As I lie here, James, lover number three, is still trying to stimulate my clit, suck on my neck and search for my illusive G-spot all at the same time. I don't have the heart to disappoint him, so I let out a well-practiced moan, and wriggle around a bit. All I really want to do at this moment is to suck him off, so he can come and then fall asleep, so it will all be over. He's even managed though to ruin that for me though, because in general I do really love sucking a long thick dick. The taste, the feel of the ridges on my lips as I move up and down it, that tiny little slit in the top and best of all, the feeling as it slips down my throat and for that spilt second when I want to fight it but I don't, I swallow and feel the power I have over my partner.
The problem with James though is that his dick smells funny, and not in a good way. I don't know what it is, I really can't decide what the smell even is, at first I thought he was a typical male who didn't wash himself or his undies enough, but it's not that. So now I can't go down on him until I know what that smell is and I have considered squirting him with Oust to see if that gets rid of it, but figured he'd notice me doing that. So even that pleasure is denied to me right now; thanks James.
Light bulb moment - Perhaps though that's it; perhaps I need to feel in control, perhaps I'm lying here feeling nothing because I'm being passive and just letting him get on with it. To test out the theory I decide to take control. I move from under him and turn him onto his back so I can ride him at my pace. James looks slightly stunned, his face showing the questions that must be floating around in his brain. I put my hands on his chest for support and as I lower myself onto his dick and I wait for something to happen. I slowly pick up the pace until I'm really going for it, my body is rising and falling on his dick, then I attempt doing a figure eight movement and finally I lean forward hoping to brush my clit against him. I'm concentrating hard, trying to decide if I can feel anything when he comes inside me. Great! I stop what I'm doing and watch the contentment on his face as he lets the wave of endorphins sweep through his body. I'm so jealous because I really want that feeling.
What is wrong with me?