Title: Footsteps on the Moon
Author: Lylirium
Disclaimer: They really don't belong to me, you know, 'cause if they did Huddy would have happened so long ago…Seriously the authors like to make us suffer.
Summary: After everything she has done for him, the least he could do was say thank you…
Time-Line: Set after "Words and Deeds"
Spoilers: "Finding Judas" and "Words and Deeds"
Author's Notes: Hi everyone! I saw "Finding Judas" a few months ago, and I know there are lots of fan fiction regarding this subject, but seeing that episode just made me feel like there was something missing in there: like an apology! House apologised to Wilson, but Cuddy was the one who cried because of him, she was the one who lied for him, and yet he never said thank you, he never said he was sorry for what he said…So I made a story about it…I honestly hope I was able to keep them in character, this is my first fiction and after reading lots of it, it's kind hard to keep ourselves true to the story, but I tried my best! Anyway enjoy the story, it's not big, but hopefully it's good!
Footsteps on the Moon
The light slowly hit his eyes and caused him to stir away from his dream. He was dreaming that he was in a labyrinth and he was following a voice, a female voice, who guided him towards the centre. In there he found Cuddy, she was wearing a white dress and she had a glow around her, as if she was an angel. Suddenly he noticed that she had chains around her wrists and when he looked at his hands he realized that he had chains around them as well, there were connected trough them and when he looked inquiringly at Cuddy she just smiled, a sweet smile.
A bang awoke him completely.
"Rise and shine!"
He opened his eyes to look at the man banging in the prison bars with his stick. The guard, a fat man with a chubby face whose shirt barely stayed buttoned, opened the door to the cell and held it open for House.
"You're out!" He said
House gathered his jacket and limped to the door.
"I hope you had a good night of sleep!" The guard said to the doctor, mocking him
"Wonderful! You should try it sometime, while you still can!"
"What do you mean?" The man asked suspicious
"You cholesterol is too high! And judging by your buttoned shirt, or should I say lack of it, you're gaining weight fast, I'm guessing you'll have a heart attack soon!"
House left an open-mouthed man behind him and got out. He walked with difficulty towards the desk in the lobby and the female police officer looked at him.
"How can I help you sir?"
"I'd like to have my stuff back; it's under the name of Gregory House!"
The female officer checked her computer and got up.
"I'm going to get your personal belongings, I'll be right back!"
She walked out of the room, and House looked around. Everyone seemed busy; people passed him by, without really noticing him. A few criminals were hand-cuffed to their chairs waiting to be interrogated. House was observing them with interest when he saw Tritter coming in. He spotted him and House smirked.
"Already out?" The detective asked
"Oh, I'd love to stay, but just between the two of us, the room service really needs some improvement!" House whispered the last part close to Tritter
The detective glares at him.
"You were lucky!"
"I was innocent! You accused me out of spite! But don't worry I have no hurt feelings!"
"You were guilty, and we both know that! Your boss lied!"
"I don't know, did she?"
"Don't mock me!"
"I'm not! The fact is that I don't know if she lied or not! I have no proof that she did and neither do you!" He said seriously
Tritter smiled dangerously.
"What she did was wrong! You don't deserve the friends you have. They all covered up for your mess, and what do you do? You scorn them; you don't reattribute the favour in any way!"
"What do you want me to do? Give them a nice pat in the back? I didn't force them to do anything; they have minds of their own!"
"No, what you do is show disrespect for people, you treated them dismissively as if they were puppets, you experiment on them! Your drug problem…"
"I went to rehab!"
"You're an addict, two or three days in rehab are not gonna change that! It's not gonna change what you've done!"
"I treat patients, I save lives! The pills allow me to do my job; they help me deal with the unbearable pain I feel in my leg! And that's none of your concern, that's Cuddy's problem, not yours!"
The police officer returned at that point and House glanced at her while she handed him his cane. House took it and turning his back to Tritter, started to walk towards the exit door.
"You really are a jerk!" Tritter exclaimed which made House stop to look at him "But worse than being a jerk, is being blind! You're not worth the sacrifices she made for you!"
Tritter walked away leaving a puzzled House behind.
«-----------------»
House walked into the Hospital that morning wearing the same clothes he did the day before, and as he made his way to his office he thought about what Tritter had said. Somehow those words had hit a nerve; he just couldn't place where exactly the crash was or what had caused it.
He opened the door to his office and immediately three heads looked at him.
"Good morning all!" He said "Got any cases?"
"Good morning! How are you?" Cameron asked concerned
"Fine! Got any cases?"
"I tried to call you last night! How did it go?" Cameron continued
House looked at Foreman and Chase.
"No, we have no cases!" The neurologist answered
House looked trough the glass walls and saw Cuddy approaching with a file in her hands.
"I have a feeling that's about to change!" The diagnostician said
"How come?" Foreman asked
Cuddy walked in and House's team turned their heads in her direction.
"Sixteen-year-old female presented with extreme headaches and constant dizziness!"
"Boring! She has a migraine!" House stated
"No!" Cuddy answered "There's nothing on her TC scan that could explain the symptoms, and yet she can barely stand up do to the pain she feels!" she handed him the file.
Wilson walked in.
"I thought you were supposed to be in rehab!" Wilson said
House eyed him knowingly.
"I can't! I have a case; my boss would be really upset if I let this kid die! Besides I'm already out of jail! He answered
"When you're done with this, you're getting back to rehab!" Cuddy said immediately.
"How did you got of the hook?" Chase asked
Cuddy was about to open her mouth, but House spoke first.
"The judge saw that Tritter overreacted!" He said
Both Cuddy and Wilson looked at House open-mouthed.
"Seriously!?" Foreman asked doubtfully
"I swear to God that's what she said!" House said
"You don't believe in God!" Chase reminded him
"You know what I mean!"
Cameron smiled and approached him.
"I'm glad you're okay!"
Cuddy looked in disbelieve at her employee and then cleared her throat.
"Yeah! Well maybe you should take advantage of the second change you got and actually do some work! It's not everyday that a judge makes nice things like that!" Cuddy remarked acidly and stormed out of the room.
Everyone looked surprised at the Dean, and Wilson glared at House.
"You're a jerk!" Wilson said and followed Cuddy
"What was that all about?" Cameron asked
"I don't know, but it's the second time someone calls me a jerk and storms out of the room, today! It's starting to get really annoying!" House answered
The other doctors looked at him with inquiring looks.
"Differential diagnosis everyone! What causes severe headaches and dizziness?"
«-----------------»
Wilson found Cuddy outside the Hospital sitting on a bench and moved closer to her.
"Do you mind if I sit?" He asked
She shrugged her shoulders and he sat down next to her. For a minute they just stayed there enjoying the silence and watching doctors and students passing by. It was a cold morning of January and the sky was filled with grey angry clouds.
"It's probably going to rain today!" Cuddy said finally breaking the silence.
"Yeah!" Wilson agreed and paused "You shouldn't pay attention to what he said, he probably didn't mean to…"
"I don't want to talk about it!" Cuddy interrupted him
"I understand that you're angry at him…"
"You see, but I'm not, really! He acted just the way he always does!" Cuddy stated calmly
"Uh, yeah! And that's why you came outside when it's two degrees out here!" Wilson said pulling his lab coat up in his neck and grasping it tighter around his body.
"I needed some fresh air!" He looked at her knowingly "Look, Wilson, I'm fine! I'm already used to House being the way he is, I've learned to expect these kinds of things from him, they don't affect me anymore!"
"That's not what I saw in the other day…"
"The other day was different…but it's not happening again, don't worry! I'm gonna go inside, I have a board meeting in ten minutes!"
Cuddy got up and left Wilson alone with his thoughts. The more thinking he did, the angrier he got at House. In all the time he has known Cuddy, he had never seen her the way he did, in her office, a few weeks ago. Trough the years he has worked with her, he became found of her and he truly admired the strength and determination that wrapped the fragile and amazing human being that she was. She was his friend and House…House had hurt her in the most unfair way.
«-----------------»
When Wilson returned to his office later that day, he wasn't surprised to find House there.
"Hi!" He said
"Hey! How's your patient?" Wilson asked
"She's got a brain aneurism, inoperable! She'll probably leave another year!"
"Have you told the parents?" The oncologist inquired sitting behind his desk grabbing a few papers and putting them on his briefcase.
"Cameron's doing it as we speak! But let's not talk about that! Let's talk about something else! For example, your little out burst in my office this morning!"
"I don't have time for this now, House!"
"Really? How's Thursday for you then?" He asked sarcastically
"Stop it! You wanna talk about it? Let's talk! You're an idiot!"
"Wow, a new one! So which one is it? Idiot or jerk?"
"You don't really get it do you?"
"Enlighten me!"
"Have you ever stopped and wondered if you've done something wrong lately?"
"Oh this is gonna be good I can tell! The answer to your question would be 'no'!"
"I'm talking about Cuddy!" Wilson continued
"What about Cuddy?" House asked showing unconcern
"Are you being intentionally thick? Do you even remember what you did to her?" Wilson asked angrily
House's attention was fully on his friend now. He had never seen Wilson like this.
"You knew she was trying to get pregnant and you used that piece of information she shared with you, that confided you with, and you hurt her!" Wilson looked at House accusingly "I found her crying in her office, in all the years I've worked here, I had never seen her like that, and she cried because of you!"
"Waste of tears if you ask me!" House mumbled
"That's right! No one should cry over something you say! And, only God knows why, but what you say, what you think, it matters to her! She values your opinion! Can you imagine what she felt when you said she was a fail as a mother? She actually believes now she's not meant to become a mother! That it's not in her genes!"
"She didn't seem that bothered to me…"
Wilson got up from his chair.
"She forgave you! She knew you were in pain, and she forgave you! Hell, she nearly killed me when I told her I left you in your apartment overdosing! She has been worried sick with you, afraid of the possibility of you going to jail! And what did you do? You didn't even acknowledge in front of your team that she saved you! She lied in court for you, risked her career and her own freedom and you didn't even said thank you! So yeah you're both a jerk and an idiot!" Wilson grabbed his briefcase. "I'm going home! You should think about what I said!"
He left closing the door behind him. House sat there for hours watching time pass by and the sun set. He knew he had been harsh with Cuddy but…the last thing he wanted was to make her cry…
Wilson's words hang in the air causing a heavy tension around House, and slowly an unfamiliar feeling made its way through his heart: guilt.
«-----------------»
Cuddy was in her couch, in the living room, reading a book. It had started raining a few hours ago and she just sat there listening the rain drops hit her windows.
The stress and the lack of sleep from the previews weeks were starting to take its toll on her and she wanted nothing more than to crawl into her bed and sleep for an entire week, but she couldn't. Every time she closed her eyes she saw House and Tritter and the judge, the memories from the last few days, and the fear of what might have been kept emerging in her mind…
She closed the book she had been staring at for the past hour, without making any sense of what she read, and got up.
Cuddy was about to go to bed when she heard a timid knock on her door. She looked outside trough the window, but there was no one there.
Then she heard it again, this time a little stronger.
She went to the door and leaving the chain in it, she opened it enough to see who it was.
"House?"
She closed the door and removing the chain she opened it fully. He was soaked from head to toe because of the rain.
"What are you doing here?" She asked taking in his appearance
"Do you mind if I came in? It's kind of humid out here!" He asked
She hesitated but eventually stepped aside allowing him entrance.
"You're soaked! How did you get here?"
"In my bike!"
"Wait here!" She disappeared in the direction of her room but he continued hearing her talking "You're gonna get sick if continue doing this you know! Don't you know how to drive a car?"
"My car is at the mechanic!" House said
Cuddy returned a few seconds later with a towel in her hands.
"There are cabs!" She replied handed him the towel.
"Too expensive!"
He took the towel and dried is hair and face.
"Thanks!"
"You didn't answer my question! Why are you here?"
"You're not even gonna invite me to sit, offer me a cup of hot coffee?!"
"Its 3 am House, so forgive me for not being polite!"
He sat down in one of her sofas and she sighed.
"You're getting my sofa wet!"
"It'll dry!" He looked down at his hands
"House, it's late and I'm tired! What do you want?" Cuddy asked exasperated sitting down next to him
"You were awake!" She glared at him and he looked down again. "I'm sorry!" He whispered
"What?"
"I'm sorry for saying you're a lousy mother!"
He looked at her and she smiled coldly.
"No!"
"What do you mean, no?"
"I'm not forgiving you!"
"Why not?" He asked infuriated
"Because you don't mean it! Wilson probably gave you a lecture and told you to apologise! That's why you're here! But you don't feel sorry! No, because that would mean that you actually know how to feel guilty!"
"Wilson told me he saw you crying…"
Cuddy looked at him angrily.
"And that's why you came?! I am not having this conversation with you House! I suggest you go home and never mention this again!" She got up
"I'm not going until I'm finished! What I said was untrue and out of line!"
"No, what you said was cruel and hurtful! I trusted you, and used something private and important to me and you intentionally hurt me! You had nothing to gain from saying those things that you said; you just told them in order to hurt my feelings! Well done, House, you achieved your goal!" Her voice broke a little
"You have to understand that I was in pain…"
"I know, and that's why, despite the damage you cased, I moved on! Because I knew you were in pain, and you probably just wanted to lash out on me! But I lied in court for you House; I forged evidence to prevent you from going to jail, and this morning when Chase asks you how you got out, you don't even have the guts to say it! You lied to them!"
"I didn't technically lie!" He muttered
"I'm tired House! I'm tired of this! I'm sick of you always taking and never giving anything in return! Dealing with you is like stepping on the moon, each step is always harder than the first, every time we think we might be getting closer to you, we're cast out again!"
"You know something, metaphors aren't really your thing!"
"Get out!" Cuddy said darkly
He nodded and got up.
"Are you sure you want me to leave? I'm not apologizing again!"
"I already told you, I don't want to! Get out of my House! It's late and some of us actually like to arrive at work on time!"
House fell silent and slowly limped to the door. Cuddy stayed in the living room and she felt tears streaming down her face.
House opened the door and heard a muffled cry; it nearly broke his heart.
He closed the door and went back to the living room surprisingly fast, considering his bad leg. He saw Cuddy and not waiting for her to say something he hugged her. She struggled to get out of his arms, but instead of letting her go, he hugged more firmly and she soon returned the embrace, crying in his shoulder all the anger, frustration and sadness she felt.
He didn't know how long they were like that, just holding each other. It was as if time had stopped and there were only them and this moment. He broke the embrace and looked into her eyes, the only ones that could see trough his soul.
"I'm really sorry for what I said, and for what I did! I know that being in pain is not an excuse, but I was and you have to understand that I didn't mean what I said!" Cuddy could feel tears welling up in her eyes. "I would never hurt you like that, otherwise, never! I know what a baby means to you!"
He kissed her forehead and slowly his hand made its way upward and caressed her cheek, she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch.
His gaze intensified and she saw him look at her lips, they were so close that he practically feel her breath on his face. He couldn't resist it.
All rational thought was driven from House's mind as he touched her lips with his own in a gentle caress savoring the sensation. She wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on her toes to give him better access to her lips.
He slowly kissed her lower lip, than the other one, and finally took complete possession of her mouth. He kissed her tenderly; savouring the taste of her lips in his, his tongue explored her mouth with curiosity as if discovering something new, but at the same time feeling it was like coming home.
Her hand moved to stroke his jaw and she deepened the kiss, running her tongue against his, kissing him passionately.
It was a long kiss, but it was over before any of them really wanted to.
When he finally pulled away slightly they looked in each other's eyes. Her breathing was heavy and she smiled at him.
"You should go!" she said stroking his face with her own, affectionately
"Yes…" He murmured
He kissed her again softly before walking again to the front door, this time followed by Cuddy. She opened the door and held it open for him.
He looked at her.
"One day, when you'll have children, you're gonna be a great mother!" He said "Hey, if you can deal with me, you can deal with anyone!"
She laughed and kissed his cheek.
"Thank you for saying that!"
He limped his way to his bike which was parked on the other side of the street. It had stopped raining and the air smelled of dirt and rain.
"You know," She called "I still own your ass and I'm still making you take extra clinic hours!"
He looked behind.
"I wouldn't recognize you, if you did it otherwise!"
He mounted his bike with a smile on his face, preparing himself for a new day as the sun rose up in the horizon.
The End
Author's Notes: If you liked it, review! If you didn't like it, review! If you have something to say to…just review, okay? Just do it!