James doesn't mean to fall apart.
It just happens, one day, when he's nott paying attention.
He doesn't want Lily to pull him together again.
It just happens, one day, when he's not paying attention.
The letter comes in a black envelope. The school watches it with hawk eyes until it lands in front of him, sudden and absolute.
We regret to inform you that your parents
That's all he needs to read before he's out of his seat and walking away.
Your parents were valiant fighters
And he's a valiant fighter himself, valiantly walking away, fighting the tears. Fighting his friends, fighting the hundreds of students offering their condolences, fighting all of it. Valiantly. Until she finds him.
"You really like it up here, don't you?"
James doesn't even look at her, not really. Just enough to glimpse her hair and know that she's only here to fulfil her duties as Head Girl.
"It's a nice view," he answers, voice flat. The view is anything but. All you can see is the forest. It isn't what one would call nice unless you classed nice as deadening, deadly, or dead.
"Lovely," she replies, and suddenly she is next to him, strawberry perfume and all. She brings with her silence, and he welcomes it. Silence is, as he is fast learning, hard to come by when your parents die Valiantly.
"How did it happen?"
"Voldemort," James answers, somewhat valiantly, and it's not supposed to be like this, because he's crying, and James Potter is Valiant, he doesn't cry. But he is, the tears are there, and he doesn't feel valiant, he feels empty and useless and-
"James," she says, her voice furious, "You are everything they ever wanted you to be. Do you understand me? You are everything they ever wanted in their son."
But how can he be? He is an arrogant toerag. He tells her so, between tears, and she laughs, wildly and angrily.
"James, if you are an arrogant toerag, I want to see more toerags in the world."
Three years later, as she's staring at the door with her son behind her, Lily hears her husband hit the floor for the last time.
She thinks to herself, "Only a really valiant toerag could face Voldemort without a wand."