Title: I Need Him
Type: Romance | One-Shot
Cast: Paul | OC Imprint
Note: I do not own Twilight or "More Than Miles" by Brantley Gilbert. The One-Shot just hit me and I needed to get it out. I hope you like it. Read and Review.
Maybe I should take that picture off the dashboard
Before her memory hits the brakes and takes the wheel
Yeah I bet she's still crying on that front porch
Yeah, this time it's gonna take some time to heal
"What?"
Paul swallowed hard. "You . . . Have to stay . . . ?" His brows furrowed as he phrased it as a question the second time.
Her brows screwed up in concentration. "What do you mean I have to stay Paul?"
"I cannot leave." Paul reminded her.
She shook her head, thoughts jumbled and disoriented. "I knew that."
His shoulders slumped. "I don't think you are grasping it." He licked his lips. "I can't leave and neither can you."
Her shoulders stiffened as her spine turned rigid. "What do you mean I cannot leave?" Her eyes narrowed.
"I have to stay here to protect the tribe. I can't live without you, Amara." Paul spoke gently. There was no need to command the brunette. He knew better. The only times his demands were ever met voluntarily was in bed. And even then things could be a bit iffy.
Amara's back thudded gently against the back of the chair. "Paul this is a once in a lifetime opportunity." Her eyes wide in disbelief. "This is my dream!" She exclaimed while standing from the chair.
The chair screeched as it was shoved back violently on the wooden floor of the cabin.
Paul froze as anger began to furl within him. "That is your dream?" His eyes narrowed as his lips thinned.
Amara glared.
Neither were going to back down. It wasn't in their blood to back down from a fight. Compromising was nearly impossible. Both were hot headed. And both were always right.
"Did you expect me to give up everything I loved because you imprinted on me?" Amara growled out while crossing her arms.
Paul snorted. "God forbid you give an inch." He laughed darkly and shook his head. "I thought maybe, just maybe, you loved me more." He threw his hands up in the air. "Apparently I was wrong."
Amara shook her head vehemently. "That is not fair!"
"Life isn't FAIR!" He roared back.
She stepped back.
Yes, they got angry. Yes, they fought. Fought better than any of them. Yes, there was anger. Yes, there was violence, usually when make-up sex was included. But he never yelled at her.
Amara shook her head. "I gave up the senior trip to Paris. I gave the shopping trip in New York. I gave up the extra week to spend with my sister before her wedding. I gave up moving with the father I loved to Wyoming - staying here with the mother I disliked." She paused and licked her lips. "I gave up the free scholarship – full ride – to Berklee College of Music in Boston."
Paul's shoulders sagged. The fight drained from him.
"I gave up being there when my baby sister had her first child." Amara's voice softened with each new fact she gave light to. "I gave up a lot more than you've realized." Her jaw flexed as she swallowed hard. "But I guess, you were paying more attention to yourself and what you needed . . . Than me."
Paul's blood froze as her eyes shimmered. He hated when she cried. He'd rather go bald as a wolf. Have the guys put pink hair dye in his shampoo and turn his fur pink. ANYTHING! He hated when she cried.
Her arms wrapped around her body. "I'm going." She let out a shaky breath. "I – I don't know . . . If I will return." Her brows screwed up in confusion. She couldn't think straight, emotion clouded her judgement.
His heart jolted to a stop.
What?
"At this moment . . . I might hate you." Amara whispered softly. "The fact that you could think . . ." Her eyes shimmered. "My love . . . you . . . music . . . over." Her words came out jumbled and disoriented. "How could you!" She shook her head as a slight sob left her lips. She moved towards their bedroom and quickly packed a bag. Her shoulders trembled as she heard Paul follow her.
"Ama-
"Don't!" she snapped. "It's a bit late."
Paul's body trembled. He didn't want to lose her. He loved her. It couldn't be to late.
Yes, Paul was horrible with relationships. He did not have a great track record with women. Period. Hell! He'd never really been in a relationship until now. He was going to screw up. It was natural he would screw up. Hell! It was expected of him to mess everything up. But damn if it didn't practically kill him when he finally did manage to mess it all up.
Amara heaved a small sigh as her anger dissipated a little bit. "I - I . . ." She bit her lower lip. "It just . . ." She twisted around to meet him. Amara had never been a coward and she wasn't about to start. "This," she pointed at Paul then herself, "It just isn't working."
"What do you want me to do?" Paul whispered. He was breaking. Paul couldn't live without her. He wouldn't live without her.
"Give me some time." Amara smiled wryly. "I need to clear my head. I need to see what it is that I want."
Paul nodded slowly. It would kill him. But he'd do it, especially if there was a chance she'd come back to him.
Amara heaved a small sigh and fought back the tears that threatened to fall. She picked up her back and the guitar case by the door. Amara grabbed the keys from the key bowl and never looked back. She couldn't afford too. As soon as she saw his mocha orbs shimmering and silently pleading with her to stay – she'd cave and run into his arms. But in the end, she'd hate herself – filled with regret for not trying to complete her dream.
Paul gnashed his teeth together as he stood on the porch of their . . . His? . . . Their home. He had to let her go. He growled. The saying 'If you love them, Let them go. And if they love you, they will return', was a damn joke. He didn't want to let her go!
Amara held in her sniffle as she started the old blue chevy truck. Her lower lip quivered as she pulled away from the cabin nestled comfortably in the woods and onto the main road in and out of La Push. Her blue eyes shimmered in the night as she made the mistake of glancing at her dashboard.
Paul. Her Paul. It was a picture of him when they had gone to the beach. It was the first time he had truly smiled and Amara had taken it immediately.
Well, I'm headed north to what I swore I wanted
And trying not to buy into my doubts
But I just can't seem to keep myself from wondering
Why I'm jealous of all them headlights headed south
She sniffled as a tear slid down her cheek. Amara notched up her chin and glared at the road. Her vision blurred as it became obscured with unshed tears. Amara's hands tightened on the steering wheel.
She turned the radio on. Amara needed sound. Silence would only make this harder. She bit her lower lip. Her icy blue eyes glanced at the guitar in the passenger seat. She let out a long breath and push on.
Amara had always loved to sing. It had been a passion since her child-hood. A passion her father has made her pursue. But as life continued, music took to the back-burner of life. More pressing matters came into play. Life grew serious and things changed.
And then Paul Lahote came into her life. And things had suddenly become very surreal. Music going even further on the back-burner of life. She didn't really truly miss it. Amara had Paul. Paul was better than music. He made her life full and surreal in itself.
Amara shook her head. She didn't need to think about Paul. Not right now. Anything but him.
Her hand reached for the radio and turned it up louder. Amara's voice reached her own ears, soothing her aching soul.
An hour later, Amara had changed radio stations. Her body hummed softly in tune with the song she was currently humming.
She unconsciously glared at every car that seemed to be heading towards Forks, Washington. Amara shook her head. "What is wrong with you?" She muttered to herself, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. "Stop being stupidly crazy." Amara rolled her eyes.
Cause talking to yourself was . . . What exactly?
Amara groaned and banged against the steering wheel. She put her flashers on and pulled off at the curb. She heaved a small sigh and cut the engine.
Was she really jealous of all the cars head towards Forks, Washington?
Really?
Beyond stupid Amara. No really beyond stupid.
While rubbing her temples, she continued to try and convince herself this was the dream she had always wanted. The dream she had craved for since she was a child. The dream that had meant so very much to her for so long.
Her brows furrowed. Why was she speaking in past-tense?
Her heart quenched.
Oh God . . .
The color drained from her face. She swallowed hard. It was past-tense.
She wanted . . .
She wanted Paul.
Paul was her dream.
The life he was trying to create for them. The life he had created for her. The house. The hints of wanted children - puppies?. The designs for nurseries and swing sets. The twinkle in his eyes when he drew lazily on her stomach.
Amara wrapped her hands around her stomach.
Paul's child.
Now there was a dream.
A dream worth pursuing.
A sob clawed at the back of her throat. What had she done. She hadn't even told him she loved him when she walked away. Oh God! She didn't even bother to look back. She just . . . Just left.
Tears clouded her vision as they began to fall, cascading down her cheeks. A sob rushed out before she could stop it. Her hand rose up to quiet herself.
How could she have been so stupid.
Yeah, more than miles
Yeah, I've been changing lanes without my mirrors
Cause every time I look behind me I see her
I think I just realized how much I need her (damn)
With a shake of her head, Amara let out a loud scream. Her blood pulsed thorugh her body. Her body shook as she reached for her keys. Amara turned the car on.
She wanted Paul. And she wanted him now.
Amara turned the flashers off and put the truck in gear. Pulling an illegal U-turn, Amara gunned the gas and headed back for La Push. Tears slid down her cheeks.
Her body shook, slightly convulsing as she pulled into the gravel drive-way of Paul and Her home. She left the truck running as she shoved the door open. Tears fell down her cheeks as she stumbled, falling. She whimpered as the gravel cut into her hands.
"Paul," she whimpered out.
She heaved herself up and called out his name once more, louder.
"PAUL!"
Amara continued to cry as she clambered up the steps. Her vision clouded as she tried to reach for the door.
It was open.
She glanced upward. "P-" She whimpered softly.
Paul growled and yanked her into the safe confinement of his arms. He lowered his head and tightened his grip. Paul breathed in deeply, her scent soothed him.
Amara tightened her grip around his neck.
Paul hoisted her up.
Amara wrapped her legs around his waist and held on for dear life while crying.
Paul growled deeply in his throat, a soft purring sound, as he nestled her closer. He shut the door with his foot and carried her into their bedroom. The lights were out, he didn't want lights on when she wasn't there - it brought memories. Paul yanked the covers back before putting her on the bed.
Amara whimpered and reached for him. She wasn't ready to let him go.
Paul crooned softly and removed the unnecessary clothes before crawling into bed with her. He pulled her into his arms while laying half of his body over hers.
Amara hiccupped softly and buried her face into the side of his neck. She hooked one leg around his, while wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry."
"Shhh." Paul soothed. He didn't care, he was just glad she was back.
"I'm sorry." she sniffled. "I was so stupid." She groaned as a fresh set of tears stung her eyes. "I didn't realize."
Paul squeezed her closer, nearly suffocating her - not that Amara cared at the moment.
"I should have realized I was already living a dream." Amara sniffled and burrowed closer. "I don't need a guitar, or music."
"Baby, you love music." Paul reasoned softly.
"Music is nothing without you." She pulled back and forced him up to look at her. "I should have realized I was already living my dream."
Paul stared down at the woman in his arms. "You mean that?"
She nodded. "I love you Paul."
Paul smiled and nuzzled the woman in his arms before placing a chaste kiss on her lips. "I love you more."
"Paul . . ." Amara trailed off.
"Hmm?"
"I left the truck running."
Paul chuckled. "One of the pack already turned it off." His eyes closed as he placed a soft kiss on her cheek.
"Paul . . ."
"What?"
Amara licked her lips. "I can't really breath, it's sort of hot."
Paul heaved a sigh and rolled over - taking her with him.
She giggled soft from her new position - head resting on Paul's chest, fan blowing against her left side. It was their way of compromise.
Paul gets Amara as close as possible to him. Amara doesn't dehydrate from the scorching heat.
He pulled her closer and kissed the top of her forehead. He placed the sheet over them both and close his eyes. His body was tuning doing. Slowly beginning to relax. The wolf had gone into hyper-drive when Amara had left and he hadn't chased after her. But with the imprint lying directly over his heart - the wolf couldn't have been more sated.
"Paul . . ."
"Yes?"
Amara drew a lazy pattern on Paul's chest. "Do you forgive me?"
Paul smiled softly. "Yeah Baby."
"Paul . . ."
"Amara."
She giggled.
Paul growled playfully - she was doing this on purpose.
"I love you."
"I love you too." Paul squeezed her. "And as much as I love you Baby . . . After the emotional roller-coaster we have both been on . . . We need sleep."
Amara nodded against his bare chest.
"You better be here in the morning."
Amara kissed his right peck. "Don't let me go and I will."
He tightened his grip. "I wasn't planning on letting you go . . . Ever."
She settled against him. She smiled. In the recesses of her mind - Amara knew it was true. Even if she hadn't of turned around as quickly as she did, Paul would have come after her - giving her a day . . . max. "Good . . . I don't want you to."
Paul chuckled. "I love you Baby."
Amara smiled. "I love you more."
So I'm turning back for Georgia
Stopping short of Tennessee
I can't put my dreams before her
Man, I need her with me
Cause that girl's in every song I sing
She's in every song I write
And that six string ridin' in her seat
Can sleep in the back tonight
Now I know what I'm supposed to do, yeah
There's still more than miles in my rear view
More than miles, yeah
More than miles