Two Years Ago…
"Emma, you can't lock yourself in your apartment forever." Mary Margret bangs her fist on the oak door and sighs. It's been three weeks since the school teacher saw one of her best friends and everyone is worried.
"Emma, it's been weeks, you can't lock yourself behind your walls forever." Ruby steps up and ands her urgent pounds to the gentle ones of Mary Margret's. The two brunettes give up after a few minutes and exchange a knowing glance and then turn their glazes to the blonde that stood with them.
"I can get you guys in the apartment, but she has probably locked herself into her room with Jack, her new best friend." Elsa tells the two and moves to grab her keys from her purse. Granted she lived with Emma, there was only so much she could take when it came to the aftermath of the breakup. The first week Emma seemed to be fine; she cried the first few days, but then went back to normal. Normal only lasted two days. Before Elsa knew it Emma was hardly in the apartment anymore, during the days at least. She spent her time at The Rabbit Hole and normally didn't come back until the wee hours of the morning. Things got worse once Jefferson put the ban on Emma, she was at the bar from open to close and never went home with the same guy, there were days where she didn't even remember the conversations they had the night before. Finally Jefferson couldn't take seeing her like that anymore and her told her that she was only allowed to come back with one of her three close friends or in a few months when she finally had her head on straight.
Elsa opens the door and the three are shocked to see Emma sitting on the living room couch, guitar in hand, and head phones over her ears. For the first time, Emma was starting to look like herself again.
As if sensing the presence of guests, Emma places the headphones around her neck and she turns to the door to see her three closets friend. If she were being honest, there are her only friends and she can see the shock in their faces. She can't blame them, she hasn't really been acting like herself these past few months after her break up with Neal, it didn't help that he would call her almost every night begging for her to take him back. She didn't know what to do with herself so she resorted to what she knew to be safety; she rebuilt and reenforced all her walls, but she still felt empty, so she went to the bar and drank until she knew she would forget everything, sure she would sting a few guys along with her, but she just needed to feel whole again. None of them did the trick and it wasn't long before Jefferson banned her from the bar. After than she locked herself in her room and made friends with multiple bottles of Jack, but once Elsa left she snapped back to reality. She knew that she couldn't drink herself into forgetting, although it was well wort the time, she need to put her feelings to paper.
"Hey…" her voice was weak and her smile was even weaker. She was still broken and she knew they could see that.
"So, you finally left your room?" Elsa raised an eyebrow to her roommate and the girl nodded sheepishly.
"Yeah, as nice as Jack is to me, I finally figured out that he couldn't fix everything." Emma's voice cracks and she bites her lip trying to blink back a few tears. The three girls rush over to her and engulf her into a hug.
"We've missed you so much Emma." Mary Margret speaks up as a few tears fall from her eyes.
"I know. I've missed you guys too." The group of girls remained in the embrace for a few more moments before Ruby pulled away.
"So what's with the guitar and song book?"
"Oh, that… I was working on something before you guys came in… I know I've acted like I stopped caring about it, but one of the few things that can help me feel whole is music, and since Jack wasn't doing the trick, I though I would give it a try…" Emma could feel her cheeks grow warm and she kept her eyes on the floor.
"That's amazing. You know, if you ever want to preform in front of a crowd, I can talk to my boss. He wants to start an Open Mic night but thinks that he won't be able to find anyone talented enough to hold the attention of his 'ever demanding crowd'." Ruby tries her hand at a half-assed British accent for the final phrase in an attempt to mock her employer.
"He? I thought you worked for Granny." Emma look at the long-haired brunette with clear confusion.
"I did, but then an old friend of mine contacted me in need of a server and I kinda owed him a favor, so I told him I would be more than happy to help out. You would love the place, it's a small vintage bar, but it has more of a coffee shop vibe to it." She rambled and Emma suddenly released how much she missed in the last few weeks and she couldn't me more grateful that her friends still wanted to be a part of her life.
Taking a deep breath for courage Emma said her next words before she had the chance to back down, "Could I do the performance tonight?" The girls looked at her in shock. She normally isn't one to put herself in the spotlight, but something in her told her that writing and keeping her feelings to herself is one thing, but expressing them might give her the closer she needs to finally move on.
"I'll ask him right now." Ruby stated snapping everyone out of their trance, but not enough to encourage a new conversation. Instead they group of friends sat in silence until Ruby's phone dinged to notify her that she had a message. There was a few more moments of silence as her grey eyes scanned the pone before they met Emma's.
"He said that he would be more than willing to have you preform tonight…" The girl started not wanting to continue because she knew how her boss could be and she wasn't sure if Emma was ready to put up with his arrogance.
"But?" Elsa egged on and Ruby sighed.
"But he wants to meet you first and there is a strong possibility that he will have to preform something before giving you a complete pass to preform tonight." Emma nodded at the information, what else was she supposed to suspect. Of course he would want to make sure that she was good enough before he waisted his time on her.
"When and where does he want to meet?" Her voice is steady, but she is slowly losing control of her nerves.
"As soon as possible and he would prefer the bar, but he wouldn't object if you would want to meet somewhere where you are more comfortable, and just so you know the bar is still closed right now." She offered a friendly smile which Emma gratefully returned and bit her lip. There is no turning back now.
"Well, let him know that we're leaving now." The group looked at her in confusion at her use of the word 'we'. "Please don't leave me there alone, I need the support from the tree of you if I'm actually going to go through with this." her emerald eyes pleaded with the rest of the group and they laughed in acceptance.
—
The group stood outside of the small establishment and Emma raised an eyebrow once she read the name.
"The Jolly Roger? Really?" She didn't know what to expect about this mysterious place that her friend worked at, but that wasn't even a thought that crossed her mind.
"Says the girl who visited a place called The Rabbit Hole religiously." Elsa retorts and the rest of the group rolled their eyes and laughed. They made their way through the drift wood door and they were greeted by a large empty room. At the back of the there was a small stage set up and started to make to way towards it, her eyes taking in the rest of the bar and not really paying attention to the path in front of her. Before she knew it, she was stumbling backwards and an unfamiliar set of hands caught her before she could hit the ground.
"Sorry about that lass, I wasn't really watching where I was going. But may I ask how you got in, we don't open for a few more hours." His accent isn't as thick as Ruby made it seem, but if anything really caught her off guard it was his crystal blue eyes. She takes a moment to take in the rest of his appliance and she can seem him do the same.
"Killian, this is my friend that I was telling you about." Ruby smiled as she made her way over to them and as she moved closer, Emma released that she hasn't moved since he caught her. She quickly straightens herself and remover herself from him arms, missing his touch as soon as it was gone. What the hell? You just meet him, hell, he doesn't even know your name. You have no reason to be acting like this. She mentally yells at herself before biting her lip and extending her hand for him to shake.
"Hi, I'm Emma Swan." He takes her hand, but instead of shaking it he raises it to his lips and places a small kiss on the back on her hand.
"It is very nice to meet you Swan. Ruby tells me that you write and play." He smiles and she can feel a blush creeping up her cheeks.
"Um, yeah, I took a few classes while I was studying. It's always been a hobby of mine, but it wasn't until recently that I started up again." She tells the man before her and she tries to get a reading on his expression.
"Why did you ever stop?" She didn't expect him to ask that, but she didn't know what scared her more, the concern in his voice, or the words that escape her lips.
"My ex thought I had no talent and that my time should be put towards something more practical." She could see everyone's jaws drop. She never told her friends that Neal was the reason why she quit singing, and she didn't expect them to find out through her telling a complete stranger.
"Well I've never had the pleasure of hearing you sing, love, but if you are half as good as Ruby has told me you are then I can say with complete confidence that that ex of your's is an arse and filled with shite."
"Well I guess this is the part where I preform something and you either awkwardly deny me and relies that my ex is right, or you feel too bad to deny me and you let me preform and scare away all of your customers." And with those words, Emma takes the stage taking a deep breath before he mind slips into the song and she forgets about the people around her. As she sings the only thing on her mind is the song and she can't help the few tears that seem to escape the corners of her eyes.
—
"Emma? What are you doing up there? And where are your clothes?" An all too familiar voice approached the blonde as she stood on stage tuning her guitar.
"I'm getting ready to preform, Neal, and in case you haven't noticed, I am wearing clothes. Just not what I would normally wear for you." She retorted, her attention never leaving her guitar. Granted she was reluctant about the dress at first, once she put in on she couldn't have thanked Ruby enough. It was a black leather, long sleeve dress that barley reached her finger tips, the back of the dipped to the small of her back and she paired the dress with a pair of cherry red heels. The dress hugged her body and showed off all of her curves, for the first time in a while she actually felt sexy and confident.
"Preform? Have you lost your mind Emma? You and I both know that you have no talent. You are going to make a fool of yourself. Now please get off the stage, I'll give you my jacket to cover up and we can talk about us." he reaches his hand up to grab her writs but she moves before he can.
"There is no us Neal. No matter how much you call me or insist that we talk, it won't change anything. I'm through with giving you second chances." Just as the words leave Emma's mouth Elsa walks up to her with two shots in her hand.
"I though you could use a little liquid courage for your first time. Do you know what song you are going to sing?" the roommate completely ignores Neal's presence and Emma downs both shots before a mischievous smile makes its way onto her face.
"She isn't preforming. She is going home with me and we are going to talk." Neal pushes past Elsa and grabs Emma's arm. She quickly shakes him off, the smile still present on her face.
"Neal, you're right. We do need to talk. But I'm sick of listening to you, so you are going to take a seat and listen to me, because I mean every word I'm about to say. Elsa, make sure he stays stated, please." Emma begs her friend who silently agrees and drags Neal over to a table.
A few moments late Killian walks over to her and gives her a supportive smile. "You ready?" he asks and she nods her head. There is something about the small moment that they are currently sharing that puts Emma at ease, something in her is scared to name what it really is, so instead she convinces herself that it's the alcohol and she waits for Killian to introduce her.
He leave the stage and all eyes are on her. She lets out a breath that she didn't notice she was holding and she finds the first few cords before letting her heart take over.
I remember when we broke up the first time
Saying, "This is it, I've had enough," 'cause like
We hadn't seen each other in a month
When you said you needed space. (What?)
Then you come around again and say
"Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change, trust me."
Remember how that lasted for a day?
I say, "I hate you," we break up, you call me, "I love you."
Her mind drifts back to the early stages of the relationship she had with Neal. He was one of the first people who made her feel loved. He gave her a home and that was all she ever wanted. Now that she looks bak on it she shouldn't have given him all the chances that she did, but he was the only one she had and she couldn't let him go. She couldn't be homeless again.
The song continues and she finally has the courage to look at Neal. To say he is shocked would be an understatement.
I used to think that we were forever ever
And I used to say, "Never say never..."
Uggg... so he calls me up and he's like, "I still love you,"
And I'm like... "I just... I mean this is exhausting, you know, like,
We are never getting back together. Like, ever"
She launched herself into the last chorus of the song and her heart seemed to feel as though it was whole again. She knows that she can never fully forget Neal, he was her first after all, but he wasn't going to hold her back anymore. She strums the las few cords on her guitar and the entire bar erupts into applause. Neal fights his way to the bar exit but not before sending her one last parting look as if to say 'This isn't over yet' but that didn't stop the smile that broke out onto her face ever cheered and called for an encore. She stole a place towards Killian who had a smile that matched her's and a look of pride in his eyes. She doesn't know how, but this man she just met only a few hours ago seemed to know her better than her friends did and it should scare her, but right now she can't bring herself to feel anything other than complete joy.
—
Two Days Ago…
"So this all starter two years ago?" Regina Mills asks Emma snapping her out of her thoughts. Emma still couldn't believe she was on The Glass Apple with the Regina Mills.
"Yeah, I had just gotten over a break up with my ex of the time and my friend told me that her boss was looking for someone to preform at their first open mic and something in my told me that the only way for me to put the past behind me was to express my feelings out loud and not keep them to myself. One night the owner of the bar, who by that point had grown really close to me, invited one of his friends to watch me preform and that friend is none other than my amazing manager Robin Lockland." Emma smiles remembering the night Killian introduced her to Robin and basically changed her entire life.
"Wow, he must be an amazing friend. Now let's move on to your album. It's been number one on iTunes since it came out. Needless to say it's a huge success, but what everyone wants to know is the story behind the songs, can you give us any insight." The woman asks and Emma can't help but smile at herself. Most of the songs on that album are love songs and they are all about the same person.
"Well, I wrote most of the songs while I was still in Storybroke. I was inspired by the people who helped me most when I needed them. I was never really good when it came to actually speaking words, it's always been easier for me to express myself through music, so I did." Emma shrugs her shoulders and Regina doesn't seem to be satisfied by that answer.
"At least half of your songs on this album are love songs, so is there currently someone or are they old feelings for an ex?" The woman asks and Emma swallowed hard before taking in a shaky breath. She never told Killian how she felt about him because she was scared. She was afraid that he didn't feel the same way about her and she didn't want to ruin the friendship that they had. Her mind begins to wonder for a minute, she hasn't seen him since she moved two years ago, they chatted on Facebook every now and then, but she never made the effort to call or text him. Whenever she spoke with Ruby, Mary Margret, or Elsa she asked them how he was doing and she was never happy with the response she got, she wanted to her it from him, but she could never bring herself to pick up the phone and make the call.
"No, there's no one, there actually hasn't been anyone since my breakup two years ago. There was guy that I really liked back home, I just never had the courage to tell him how I felt. I actually never preformed those songs before I recorded them for my album." She decided to keep her answer simple. She wasn't about to announce her feelings for Killian Jones on live TV, especially if he didn't feel the same way. She will not make an embarrassment of herself.
"As you know, she encourage our viewers to call in or live tweet us their questions, for we are first going to start with Twitter." Regina and Emma continued their delicate dance between the tweeted questions and her longwinded answers that could have been reduced to a few sentences. She enjoys communicating with her fans, they are the people responsible for her success. Well them and Killian, but she isn't ready to face him, she doesn't know if she would be able to stop herself from blurting out her feelings if she saw him, he always knew how to get answers out of her, even when she didn't want to admit the truth.
"Before we go to the phones, is there any information that you are allowed to leak without Robin and your able being too upset?" Regina asks and Emma can't help but laugh.
"I can't say much, but there is a new music video coming out, and it's one that everyone has been wanting." Emma skillfully left out the title mainly because she wasn't sure if she was allowed to tell anyone.
"That's exciting, well I guess it's time to give someone else a chance to talk. Caller number one, you are live on The Glass Apple." Regina states with a grin plastered on her face.
"Well, I would hate you waste time, so I'll get straight to the point…" The voice raids away a bit and Emma's eyes widen. He heart begins to race and she finds herself forgetting to breath as the caller begins to speak again, "Earlier in the interview, Miss. Swan mentioned that she wrote songs about a lad she 'really liked' and I just wanted to know why she never performed the songs." there was silence and Emma could hardly keep her mind straight. She knows exactly who that voice belongs to. It belongs to the same person that owns the blue eyes that haunt her dreams. This can't actually be happening right now. She must be dreaming.
"Miss. Swan?" Regina's voice shakes her from her thoughts.
"Sorry, about that. Um, to answer your question, caller number one, I never preformed the songs because I didn't want to risk anything."
"What exactly do you mean by that, if you don't mind me asking." The caller spoke up and Emma isn't surprised by the follow up question. Killian never settled for the simple answer, he pushed to know the full story.
"They weren't about some passing pretty face. They are about someone close to me and I couldn't afford to lose him. I didn't know if he felt the same way and I didn't want to take the risk of things becoming awkward between us. I had the feeling that if I sang those songs then he would that they were about him and I wasn't ready for his rejection, heck I'm still not ready for his rejection." She laughs at herself and everyone is silent for a few seconds. She knows in one way she just confessed her feelings for Killian and there is no going back. But she doesn't want to.
"So you still like him?" This time it was Regina's voice that broke the silence and all Emma could do was nod her head.
"Well it looks like that's all we have time for today. Thank you so much for joining me today Miss. Swan. If you haven't already, go and buy Emma Swan's Album Neverland and I will see you tomorrow." Regina signed off before walking over to Emma and giving her a hug.
It was then that Emma knew what she needs to do. As soon as she left the studio she was on the phone with Elsa, Ruby, and Mary Margret.
"Emma? Are you okay?" Mary Margret's voice ringed with concern and Emma had a small smile on her face.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Are Elsa and Ruby with you?"
—
Present Day…
"Emma, are you sure you want to go through with this?" Elsa looks at her old roommate. She always knew how Emma felt about Killian and she knows why nothing happened between them.
"Look, I'm more than positive that he was the caller on the show the other day and I basically confessed my feeling then. I just need to let him know in person as well. I though about how I would tell him for the past few days and this is the only way that I can do it." Emma sighs as she takes one final look in the mirror. She is wearing a red dress that is almost an exact copy of the dress she wore the first time she sang at The Jolly Roger.
"Ruby is going to keep Killian distracted so that you can sneak in and give Mary Margret enough time to set up the mic for your guitar and for you to get on stage. Once you are in place I'll get Killian from Ruby but informing him that Leroy or Scarlet are trying to star up a bar fight again. You ready?" Elsa relayed the plan and Emma nodded her head trying to control the butterflies that have gone rampant in her stomach.
As soon as Ruby slipped out the front of the bar with Killian in tote, Emma made her way to the stage and all attention was on her. She wasn't an everyday local anymore, she is know world wide and has an abnormally large fanbase. Yet, as she sits on the wooden stool, guitar in hand, the crowd before her doesn't look at her like she is a celebrity, they look at her like she is just another small town girl who wants to show the world her voice. She smiles at the crowd and can't help but finally feel at home.
"Hey. I know it's been awhile since I've been up here, but if you'll have me, I would love to share a song that I wrote on my plane ride here." Emma finally speaks up and the group of locals just smile and cheer for her to begin. She takes in a deep breath and play the first cord before looking to the entrance and locking with a beautiful pair of blue eyes.
—
"Ruby, what is she doing here?" Killian asks through his teeth as his eyes lock with an all too familiar pair of emerald ones.
"Killian, I don't know why you're mad. Yes, she left. But she left because you introduced her to the opportunity of a life time. Can you really blame her?" His friend growls at him but he can't bring himself to look away from the blind that was on stage, the crowd is cheering for her to begin the song.
"She never called." His voice is soft and he tries his best to hide how broken he feels.
"She was afraid to call you. She called us everyday and the first think she asked about was you. And before you ask why she was afraid, I think you should listen to her performance. Your brother does a scary good impression of you by the way."
"Aye. He does."
—
When your legs don't work like they used to before
And I can't sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?
And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70
And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Well, me - I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am
Like with all performances, Emma lets herself get lost to the music but her eyes never leave his. There is so much that she wants to tell him, but the only was she knows how is through the lyrics on the song and the emotion in her eyes. She drops her walls and hopes that he can see all the hurt that she has cause herself over the past two years. She loves him and if he will have her, she will make sure he knows that every single day.
So, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Oh, darling, place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
But maybe we found love right where we are
Oh, baby, we found love right where we are
And we found love right where we are
As the song reaches a close see can see that Killian is no longer at the door to the bar, but now he is standing in front of her. She barley hears the applause from the local bar goers over her beating heart.
"Swan." His voice was hardly above a whisper and there was no emotion in his eyes. Her breathing quickens as her mind tells her to run.
"Killian." She keeps her feet rooted to the ground. Her eyes plead with his to give her some type of sign. Taking another deep breath she decided that silence isn't going to work. "Killian, before you can say anything, I know that this might fuck things over for us, but I can't run from my feelings anymore. I love you." She he looks at her feet, not daring to make eye contact with the man that stands before her. It doesn't last for long as his hand tilts her chin up, causing her to look him in the eyes.
"You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that." He breathes before capturing her lips in his.
—
Author's Note: Alright, this was my first attempt at an OUAT story so I apologies if the characters seem to be out of character. I would greatly appreciate it if you took your time to review this random one shot. I obviously do not own the characters or the songs I used in this story, but I do hope that you enjoyed reading it. Until next time, ~Kelli.