So I woke up and had this in my head, it's my first one shot.

I posted this earlier, then I looked and thought hmm nope I don't like it so I redid it, made it longer added more information..so for the people who read it..what do you think?

I hope you guys like it.


When I met him he warned me, he told me he couldn't change, that he didn't know how to. I wanted to believe that he could that he was different then his parents that I could make him stay. All he would do is kiss me and tell me I'm the reason he'll always come back.

When he came my junior year of high school, he was 'that guy' the one every girl wants because we've never met anyone like him. We found each other though and since then we've never let go.

His parents raised him like this, he's told me stories about how they would steal for food and money and when they would live on someone couch for awhile they would home school him enough so he wouldn't fall behind. He's told me how he's been to every state and he's only sixteen. I thought it was amazing. He just shook his head and said it wasn't I didn't ask for more. I didn't need to know more, but still he cant stay still. It's like his addiction he said when you get close and you feel comfortable it's a way for you to get hurt.

He lives with him grandmother now here in Lima, before he was here he woke up to a note from his parents saying they'll see him around and the directions to his grandmothers house, he doesn't like it here he tells me as much. I just tell him that the town might grow on him, he nods but I know he doesn't believe me.

When he kisses me and says goodnight, I knew before he left he was leaving.

I woke up to a note on my window saying "Ill see you soon Rach."

It kills.

I go see his grandmother and she just tells me he can't help it. I know that but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt any less.

Xx

She eventually just starts to home school him because it's easier then trying to explain where he goes, we don't even know. I ask if he goes home, he just laughs and says he doesn't have one.

I wish he knew I was his home, like he is mine and when he's gone, it feels like I'm lost. But I don't tell him that either because I know he'll feel guilty and when his need to leave comes he'll fight it and I don't want him to stay because he feels obligated I want him to stay because he wants too. I hope one day he will.

He graduated early, he's very intelligent. I think its because he's seen the world.

He leaves before they tell him he can walk if he wanted too. I wish he would have been there.

But he came for mine, he stayed awhile after spending the summer with me, he grandmother tells me he's only happy when I'm around. Truth is, I'm only happy when he's around too.

He finds my acceptance letter to NYADA one night after we spent the night loving each other. He leaves and his letter is simple; "I'll see you in NY, I love you" and just like before when he left it kills, but I know it's something he has to do so I don't breakdown like last time I just start packing and keep myself distracted from the fact that the man I love is out in the world and I'll never know where he is. It's better that way though because if I did, I'd go get him and drag him back with me. I think that's why he doesn't tell me.

Xx

When he shows up at my dorm, he quickly becomes the talk on the school. He's the hippie that doesn't talk and if you're lucky enough to hear his voice it's in song.

I don't care, I just love that he's here. He doesn't like my choice in friends, I couldn't help but laugh because he doesn't think anyone is good enough for me, him included.

The night we spend talking he tells me a little about where he goes, I made him promise not to steal, he never answers he just shakes his head and kisses me deeply until I forget.

He leaves and when he does my roommate finds the note I wake up to a sympathetic look and I know why, I roll over in my bed because I don't want to deal with the looks today. I'll miss him enough as it is without the million questions that follow.

Xx

He stays gone 9 months and I meet a boy name Brody, I try to love him, but I cant he's not Finn. I sleep with him when I realize Finns been gone for a year and I think he's not coming back. I cry after because no matter how much Finn tells me when he's gone I'm free to see whoever, I'm still his and wish I could wash Brody's scent off.

I tell Brody not to speak to me, and its me not him.

He's hurt, and I didn't mean to hurt him but I need my Finn.

Xx

He comes a few weeks later and I tell him almost immediately because I cant stand the fact that we have a secret between us, I explain how it was mistake and that if he never wants to see me again I'll understand.

He stays and tells me he loves me because for me to be with someone that's as fucked up as him that I'm entitled to do things sometimes that might hurt him.

I ask if he meets girls when he's away, he tells me yes, but none like me.

Does he sleep with them? He replies by just shaking his head and saying " Im connected to you, that's all I need to feel good"

I fall even more in love with him, if its possible.

He promises that he was gone for so long for good reason I have no other choice but to believe him, and tell him he cant do it again. He smiles and agrees.

He leaves 3 weeks later, leaving the same note behind.

Xx

He gets a tattoo of a star and I know it's for me instantly, it's the closest I'll ever get to him wearing a wedding ring so I love it more then anything.

He's different I can tell something is bothering but I wait until he wants to tell me. After a week he finally walks into the kitchen one morning and just tells me he saw his mom last time he was gone and how his dad is in jail somewhere in Nevada and that his mom isn't doing so well without him. He reminds me that's why you don't get to close and depend on people when he gets up and goes to take a shower I cant help but let a tear fall.

I depend on him.

Xx

He meets someone that's a lot like him, his parents were the same as Finns, they never stayed in the same place for long. His name is Noah but thye all call him Puck, I insisted on calling him Noah.

He plays the guitar and when they run into each other when they are gone, they play a little together, they trust each other and trust is hard to come by for them. I like knowing that he isn't alone all the time, but he just reminds me that he almost never alone.

Noah has a girlfriend that goes to NYU, her name is Quinn and for once in my life in a really long time I have someone who understand and doesn't judge me. We immediately hit it off, she tells me besides Noah I'm probably her best friend, I agree. Finns my best friend but Quinn is a close second.

Finn leaves first, after three months we could tell staying was killing them but they tried and it was nice to have them around. Noah leaves two days later. Quinn shows up at my door and we just decide we are each others person, when they leave we lean on each other.

Xx

When he comes back I beg and scream for him to stay this time, he stays silent the whole time as I cry and beat him in the chest trying to get some response from him. I start to cry harder then I ever have and he just scoops me in his arms and holds me until I'm asleep.

I wake up with him next to me, no matter what I have to believe when I'm at my worse he'd always be there for me. My audition is today and I knew he wouldn't miss it for the world.

I find out three weeks later that I got the part he tells me he knew it would and how proud he is of me, he spends the night showing me just how much.

I wake up to a note that says "See you Fanny, I love you" and I cant help but laugh at his Funny Girl reference.

Even though I'm laughing I can feel the tears rolling down my cheeks.

Xx

Quinn and I move in together after graduation, it just makes sense. When they are gone we need each other.

It's nice not to be alone.

Xx

They both come for my opening night and I have a seat waiting for him in the front row, I knew that's where he would want to be.

After the show he's the only person I'm waiting to see. He gets me flowers and tells me how amazing I was.

A million reviews and that's the only opinion that matters to me.

They leave the next morning, the quickiest they've ever came and gone. But Quinn and I don't cry, were to use to by now (although Finn tells me he wishes I didn't have to get use to it) so we just go shopping and spend the night drinking wine.

Xx

I get a letter one day I know immediately it's from him and I get nervous because he's never done that before so I can only imagine that he's writing to say he's not coming back, but it ends up being a ticket stub from one of the shows I didn't know he came and saw.

He says how amazing I was, but he couldn't stay. He adds that NY seemed even more suffocating this time then it did before.

I cant help but think that maybe I'm starting to knock down the walls that make him so afraid to stay in one place that he has to keep leaving.

For once on a night he's not with me I go to sleep smiling, thinking that maybe our goodbyes are becoming fewer and fewer.

Xx

When he comes back I ask why he sent me a letter he's never done that before, he shrugs and says he just really missed me.

I couldn't hide my smile if I wanted too.

Xx

He and Noah come to my last performance.

They stay for the party but the whole time stay to themselves.

Neither of them like Quinn and I friends.

They think they are too much, an too loud.

Half way through the party my friend Tina hands me a note and my heart falls to my stomach, she's too drunk to notice the color drain from my face. Quinn isn't, we go to the restroom away from the party because we know what the letter is and who it's from.

When we read it we're both stunned and happy when it's different this time and in a good way.

"Puck and I went back to you guys place, your friends suck."

We can't help but laugh and enjoy the rest of the party knowing for once the men we love are the ones waiting for us.

He stays for 3 months and now I know I'm breaking down his wall the one that makes him leave me, so when he leaves I can't help but smile because I know saying goodbye is becoming harder for him.

But I'll wait, like I have been because I know he loves me more than anything in this world and that's enough for me.

Xx

When I find out I'm pregnant a mouth later I cant help but cry until Quinn comes home and finds me, she's more excited then I am but she knows why I'm crying.

He might not be home in time, and that thought alone is enough to make me crumble.

We start to clean the spare room up in anticipation, and I tell her she doesn't have to stay because I know it's going to be hard. She waves me off and just tells me that no matter how messed up everything is, we are a family and she wouldn't want to be anywhere else other then with our family.

Xx

It's a girl, the day I find out is the happiest day of my life.

I just wish Finn was there.

Xx

When he comes back, and he slides in the bed with me, he pulls back and when I wake up and see he already has tears lining his eyes and a hand on my stomach.

I know he wants to ask but he won't so I make it easier for him and just say ;

"Our daughter is due in a month."

I've never seen him happier.

When Noah comes a week later, it's like they said everything they needed to each other in a look and then a hug.

I realized then that the relationship I have with Quinn is how deep theirs is, that thought mixed with hormones made me cry the rest of the night.

Xx

Our daughter ,comes two weeks early but she's perfect in every way. We name her Amelia Ann Hudson, and Finn holds her for hours while I sleep.

She finally cries when it's time to feed her and he hands her to me, he places a kiss on our head and whispers that he's loves us both.

When we get to the house he finishes settling up her nursery and when Noah and him say they are going for a walk a flush of nerves and fears runs through my body.

It felt like I was holding my breath until he walked back in the door and scooped Amelia in his arms. I don't ask what they went on a walk for I'm just happy he came back.

For how long I don't know.

Xx

He leaves a month later, this time leaving two notes behind:

"Take care of our girl, I'll see you soon. I love you Rach!"

" Daddy loves you more then you know. I'll be holding you soon."

Its like my insides have been ripped out, when I see her smile is the only thing that makes me happy.

Xx

He comes back four days later, with a box.

He holds Amelia all night, and thanks me over and over for loving him when he didn't deserve it.

Xx

Five years go by and he never leaves, unless we are going to visit his grandmother.

He and Noah open a music store and we get a house next to each other.

Quinn and Noah have a beautiful baby girl a year before we had Max.

One night after I tuck both the kids in and we are laying with our bodies together I ask if he misses leaving.

" I left because I thought I didn't have a home, I was just to stupid to realize I had one the day I met you"


SO?

I think I like the changes I made?

im seriously the worst, I made changes and them didn't edit it.. I hope I got all the flaws.. if not. sorry