Peace in the Arms of a Dementor
The ground was covered in a layer of frost which created an illusion of security, disappearing in the trenches and holes in the ground. A winter wonderland of ice on a lake could easily hide the parts where the ice grew thin.
The professor knew all this as he stalked past the young children bundled up in coats and mittens. Through experience, god no, his mother never took him out to gamble in the snow and at an early age he already decided to ignore the foolish dares his "friends" threw at him.
Truth be told, Severus loved winter. Not the warm comfort of homes and hot chocolate, Severus spent his time outdoors, watching snow fall and wondering how long his mother would let him freeze before ordering him to come back inside.
Wisps of fond memories crossed his mind as he listened to the snow crunch underfoot. People who passed gave him respectful nods which he ignored. Certainly, Severus looked out of place in the humble wizardring village with his velvet cloak, fur-lined collar, silver fastenings and embedded emeralds.
Severus had reserved this cloak for this occasion. The time was ripe for it. And carrying out his plan in the quaint village was sure not to attract much attention. He also knew that nobody would miss him.
Severus slid into a crack in a brick wall after casting furtive glances at the people around him. How many visits had he paid to his old childhood hideout that he didn't need his old marker anymore? The anclove was probably built by a group of friends which made it ironic that Severus visited it alone. The protective enchantments which they cast on the crack were worn by the time Severus discovered it and he soon restored them.
A crack in the roof flooded light into the tiny anclove. Severus stood under the crack and he was bathed in the warm wintery sunlight. His eyelids fluttered shut and he breathed in the refreshing air, the last he'll ever breathe.
Severus let memories flash by his closed eyelids. Red hair, flashing green eyes. The memories lingered for a second before he breathed in a final breathe and he reached for his wand.
Suddenly, the temperature dropped and fog surrounded Severus, pushing against his lungs. Something drew a rattling breathe behind him.
Severus spun around and pulled out his wand. He tried to conjure a happy memory, any happy memory. But his mind came up short.
"Expecto Patronum," he murmured.
A faint, silvery wisp fell from his wand and disappeared.
Severus tried to conjure another memory. Images of lily flooded his mind. But they were the least bit happy. Lily shouting at him, lily running from him, lily arguing with him, lily with tears running down her cheeks, Lily's crumpled body lying under pieces of rubble, her eyes open, dead…
"No…" Severus breathed, his legs folding in beneath him.
Crystalline tears fell from his moist eyes and he crumpled against the wall, his wand fell from his fingers, rolling into the shadows.
The dementor bore down upon him with clawed hands reaching for Severus's face. Severus reached into the darkness for as far as the space allowed but his fingers closed around air. More tears attempted to fall but they froze on his checks. He had forgotten how being close to a dementor felt like.
The twisting groaning in his stomach and his throat bringing up bile. The feeling of long fingers clawing into his skin, over and over. And the screaming; the horrible twisted screaming. All coming from the same woman.
Severus gasped and his consciousness threatened to collapse. He tried to hold on but it was like cupping water. His eyes rolled back in his head and his shoulders gave way.
The dementor reached for his hood but hesitated. The human was different than the others. He had held on for a much shorter time. It was almost as is he wanted to go. And then there was the screaming. The screams that surrounded this man. The dementor had heard them to and a name repeated over and over…
The dementor reached for the man's mind. It had rarely explored a human's mind before but there was something, something intricate about him. Searching a human's mind was not an unpleasant experience except for when the human was good at shields. It was a long, tiresome process; usually a waste of time but this mind was different.
The top layer was always the easiest. The lower the levels were, the more elaborate and secure the shields were and the secrets were always at the bottom. Still, the top level of this particular human was immensely difficult and once it was through, the dementor encountered more and more hard metal walls and cold exteriors.
The dementor persisted. Something, or someone, was calling to him from the deepest layer. And after each shield brought down, the more curious it became.
Then, it was hit by a strong force from behind a shield. It immediately set to work, knowing that peeling back layer by layer was the easiest way to breakdown such a powerful and strong shield. It new that whatever lay beyond was what he came to find.
The dementor found itself in a void. A thick, grey, spinning void. Swirling through were thoughts and countless of emotions. Contained in the void were his darkest memories.
The dementor recoiled as melancholic thoughts wrapped coils around it. It detested the void but knew that there was a final shield.
It batted against the thoughts but they seemed to become stronger and more compact, trying to hide something, to drive away anything that was looking for it. The dementor fought, already feeling the power surrounding the last shield.
And then, he met with it. Unlike the other shield, the last one was like a golden, spinning ball of light. There was at tiny crack and the dementor peered through. What he saw baffled him; layers upon layers of bright, happy memories, all trying to escape, to fill this man's mind with bright, cheerful thoughts.
Humans would try to conceal their innermost and darkest secrets in the last shield. They were never trying to hide happy thoughts, until now.
The dementor thought long and hard about it. Never had it encountered such sadness, such despair, just to conceal happy memories about someone's childhood, or more particularly, about someone in his childhood. An idea flittered across its mind but it was so unconventional, so unlike a dementor. But perhaps, if there were different humans, why not dementor?
It braced itself and threw open all the previous shields at once. It did it so carefully that a clear path was set for the dark thoughts to escape but still trapped the trivial thoughts inside. They rushed off, tumbling against each other just to escape. After every thought had left, it slammed the shields shut again.
Now the last shield. From the crack, the dementor worked its way through but the memories were so eager to escape that they overpowered the shield's power and flung it open like arms of dazzling gold. They raced out, more orderly than the dark thoughts. The memories were so pure that they seeped through every level effortlessly and mingled with the other thoughts. Regrettably, there were so few that they could not completely fill his mind with happiness but left some edges gloomy and bleak. But at least it was better than before.
The dementor retreated back through the levels and its mind settled back into his own, in the nook on that cheerful winter morning, thoroughly exhausted. But because of it, the man's life was no more filled with terror and regret, of dwelling on that one girl, of waking in the night shouting and of thoughts of dying. He would not be the most pleasant person on earth but his heart was his and no longer belonged to a dead girl who did not love him.
Something stirred in the dementor. A feeling of satisfaction? After years of taking what people had, it finally turned that into something good. It cast a final look at Severus and left.
When Severus awoke, he was confused. He found his wand and stood, looking around. What had had happened? Faint memories played in his mind; the swish of a cloak, a rattling breath. He shuddered, the details becoming almost as blurred memories of a certain red-haired girl.
Severus shook his head and wondered if he had been inhaling too much potion fumes as he left the nook. But, unknown to him, he had left his darkness, his melancholy behind when he found peace in the arms of a dementor.