"Anderson!"
Shepard stumbled up the steps, her whole body racked with pain. She silently thanked the Illusive Man for the extra-human durability she gained during her reconstruction, constantly reminded of it as she was by the glowing orange scars on her face.
Anderson turned from the console at the end of the platform, barely holding himself up. He took a few jerky steps forward, as if straining against himself. "Shepard..." he groaned, "I can't..." His eyes darted to the left, and from behind her the Commander heard:
"Shepard, I'm glad you made it. You had me worried." The Illusive Man walked past her, brushing his hand over her shoulder as he went by. Reaper machinery had grown up his neck and the sides of his face, rendering him nearly unrecognizable to her. Shepard tried to take a step forward, to touch this new addition to his once-so-familiar face, but dark tendrils snaked through her brain, preventing her from moving. "Jack... what have..."
"I warned you," he interrupted, "Control is the means to survival. Control of the Reapers..." his eyes softened as he turned back to look at her, "and of you, if necessary."
Anderson turned, obviously struggling just as Shepard was. "They're controlling you." he replied. The Illusive Man laughed, "I don't think so, Admiral."
"So why are you here with us?" Shepard asked, "Why haven't you ended this?"
Jack Harper paused, his hand wandering up to momentarily stroke his chin. "Because... I need you to believe." He started pacing back and forth, continuing to speak. "When humanity discovered the mass relays... when we learned there was more to the galaxy than we imagined... there were some who thought the relays should be destroyed. They were scared of what we'd find. Terrified of what we might let in. But look at what humanity has achieved! Since that discovery, we've advanced more than the past 10,000 years combined. And the Reapers will do the same for us again. A thousand fold. But..." Jack approached Shepard, and put his hand gently on her shoulder. The black tendrils crawled farther into her mind, and she was forced to raise her pistol as he almost absentmindedly stroked her arm. "... only if we harness their ability to control." He finished.
Admiral Anderson put his hand out in front of him, a reflexive gesture to try and protect him from any incoming bullets. "Bullshit. We destroy them, or they destroy us." he declared.
The Illusive Man was broken from his reverie at Shepard's arm and looked at Anderson, disgusted. "And waste this opportunity? Never." He moved behind Shepard and started pacing again, agitated.
As he walked past her, Shepard managed to turn her head, saying, "Jack, you've grown so hungry for this power that it's clouded your vision."
"No..." he replied, shaking his head and turning back to face her, "No. It's not that simple."
"Isn't it? You're willing to give up anything for control." She continued, still unable to move the pistol from Anderson's direction.
"Yes!" Jack exclaimed, "If not me, then who? Are you going to control the Reapers? You've always told me you wanted them dead. You aren't willing to do what's necessary!"
Anderson turned toward the Illusive Man, "There's always another way." he said.
Ignoring him, Jack continued, "I've dedicated my life to understanding the Reapers, and I know with certainty: the Crucible will allow me to control them."
"And then what?" Shepard broke in, becoming more and more frustrated with his refusal to listen to reason.
Jack focused on her. "Look at the power they wield!" He pleaded, "Look what they can do!" His fist clenched and Shepard's finger pulled the trigger of the pistol against her will. Anderson grunted in pain as the bullet entered his stomach. "No human will ever be a slave again. We will become the greatest civilization the galaxy has ever seen!"
Shepard closed her eyes, livid at what Jack had made her do. "I see what they did to you. I see what they've turned the man I loved into." She spat.
"I took what I wanted from them!" he retorted, "Made it my own! This isn't about me or you. It's about things so much bigger than all of us!"
Anderson was staring at Shepard, hurt and confusion in his eyes. "He's wrong. Don't listen to him..."
"And who will you listen to, Shepard?" Jack said, approaching Anderson with fire in his voice, "An old soldier, stuck in his ways, only able to see the world down the barrel of a gun?" He turned to look at her, now standing next to the Admiral, "And what if he's wrong? What if controlling the Reapers is the answer?"
"Then open the arms, let the Crucible dock, and use it to end this." She said.
"I... I will." Jack stated, slowly approaching her.
"Do it!"
"I... know it will work!" he whispered, cradling his head in his hands.
"You can't, can you? Shepard accused, "They won't let you do it."
"NO!" He yelled, jerking his head up and stepping back, "I'm in control! No one is telling me what to do!"
Anderson shook his head in disgust. "Listen to yourself. You're indoctrinated."
"No. No!" Jack bellowed, "The two of you, so self-righteous. Do you think power like this comes easy? There are sacrifices!"
Shepard shook her head slowly, her mind filled with all of her moments together with him ever since he had brought her back from the dead. Hours of holo-conversations while the Normandy traveled in between systems. Their week together after the victory at the Collector base. The elaborate game of chess they had played with armies and civilizations as pieces. Her final call to him with her declaration of checkmate as they headed toward the Cerberus Headquarters. These and more were highlighted in her mind as she said, "You've sacrificed too much."
"Shepard!" Jack pleaded, throwing up his hands. "I... I only wanted to protect humanity. To protect you! The Crucible can control them. I know it can. I just..."
She nodded, "Its not too late," She assured him, "Let us go. We'll do the rest."
Jack opened his mouth and paused, then closed it again. "I...I can't do that, my love." He said, seeming to struggle almost as much as she and Anderson were.
"Of course you can't..." Anderson snarled, "they own you now."
Jack walked behind Anderson and grabbed his pistol. As it expanded in his hand he sighed, "You... you'd undo everything I've accomplished. I won't let that happen."
"You're blind and you're selfish." Shepard argued, furious, "Because of you, humanity will suffer."
"No! I... I saved humanity!" Jack raved.
"No! You sacrificed us for your own selfish wants; your lust for control! You were supposed to protect us! And you failed."
Jacks hands were clutching at the sides his head, his nails gouging flesh as they scraped across his scalp. "No!" He screamed, "I am the savior of humanity! I am the pinnacle of our species!"
A shot rang out and blood spurted out of Anderson's chest. Jack threw him to the side and charged at Shepard. Now with a clear line of fire, Shepard shot just as the black tendrils in her mind surged, causing the bullet to go wide and graze Jack's side. He stumbled forward, dropping the pistol and throwing his arms around Shepard.
"Shepard..." He whispered in her ear, "I... I can't think. All I wanted was what was best for humanity. For us. I… I wish you could see Earth like I do. It's so... perfect." As he spoke, the tendrils of control slowly began to leave her mind, and she brought her free hand up to cradle his face. Jack leaned back, his blue eyes gazing into her red, "I love you, you know."
A sad smile crossed Shepard's lips. "I know." She whispered, pulling him closer to her. They kissed, and for a moment everything was silent as their lips connected. The serenity was broken when Jack's body jerked to the sound of a firing gun. He stumbled backwards and Shepard raised her pistol to his chest. "I love you too." she said, and shot him once more.
The Illusive Man crumpled to the ground and Shepard stumbled over the bodies of the only two people she had ever considered family, eventually reaching the console at the edge of the platform. She opened the arms of the Citadel to let the Crucible dock and a sob shook her body. As the Crucible slid into position, tears dropped onto the console. It was finally over. She could finally stop. Rest.
"Shepard." Admiral Hackett's voice crackled through her audio implant.
Oh God, please no, she thought.
"Commander."
The pain in her legs nearly caused her to fall as she said, "What do you need me to do?"
"Nothing's happening. The Crucible's not firing! It's got to be something on your end."
"I don't see…" Shepard replied, her vision going hazy, "I'm not sure how to…"
She crumpled to the ground, losing consciousness as the section of floor below her began to rise.
"Wake up."
Shepard jolted awake, immediately noticing a holographic version of the child from her nightmares standing in front of her.
"What? Where am I?" She asked.
"The Citadel. It is my home." The child replied.
"Who are you?" Shepard continued, still trying to regain her bearings.
"I am the Catalyst."
"I thought the Citadel was the Catalyst."
"No," the child corrected, "the Citadel is part of me."
Shepard leaned towards the child. "I need to stop the Reapers. Do you know how I can do that?"
"Perhaps. I control the Reapers. They are my solution."
"I don't care what they are." Shepard barked, "I want to know how to stop them!"
The child stared at Shepard for a long moment. "You must first understand. The Reapers were created to prevent the permanent destruction of al-"
"I don't CARE!" Shepard roared, "The Reapers are killing my people. I will not stand by and be preached to by some AI telling me that everything is okay because this is all part of some plan! Tell me how to end them!"
The child-AI's eyes narrowed. "So be it. Your Crucible has created new variables, and a new solution is required. With this, you now have the power to control," the child gestured toward a large pylon on their left, "or destroy us." The child gestured to a pylon on the right, and Shepard immediately started walking toward it, visions flashing in her head of Anderson shooting it up close.
"Wait!" the child exclaimed, "If you choose to destroy us, all synthetics will be targeted. Including those you call geth, to whom you just gave true sentience and individuality."
Without stopping Shepard shot back, "There are always sacrifices in war."
The child's voice changed, growing deeper, more familiar. "You've sacrificed too much."
Shepard stopped, a vice clutching at her gut. "You're not Jack Harper."
"The Reapers were in my mind, my love." the voice behind her said, "They know more about me than even I did. At least they never killed me."
"I did what was necessary. Just as I'm going to do now." Shepard took another step forward, almost to the split pathways leading to each pylon.
"You will be wiping out an entire species, Shepard. Two, if you count the Reapers."
"What is more blood on my hands going to do?!" She cried, "I killed the only remaining Rachni queen! Twice! I sentenced the Krogan to death by refusing to cure the genocide! I shot Mordin in the back and Wrex in the face! The Quarians are dead because I chose to upgrade the Geth, and I will kill them too, if it means saving this galaxy!"
Shepard continued to walk forward, black tendrils again threatening to claw at her mind.
"But why, when there is a better solution?"
Step
"Control the Reapers, as I could not!"
Step
"No more bodies on your conscience."
Step
"An invincible army at your disposal."
Shepard shook her head, her vision growing hazy at the black tendril's constant assault. "I don't want an army. I want justice for everything those bastards have done."
Turn
"An entire galaxy under your control." The Jack-AI continued.
Step
"Never again will another child grow up like you."
Step
"Alone on the streets. Abandoned."
Step
"No more war. Never another Torfan."
Step
"And with my memory in their collective,"
Step
"We can be together forever."
"No." Shepard said, the tendrils ruthlessly striking at her mind, "You could not change my mind when you were alive, and you cannot now." But in the back of her mind a small part of her, suppressed when her mind was stronger and only now surfacing in her fatigue, thought: What if he's right? The black tendrils seized their opening and crashed their way into her mind, and her hands rose involuntarily. Her vision began to clear and she tried to struggle as her hands moved toward the handles on the control pylon. As little jolts of electricity jumped between the handles and her hands, Shepard mustered every ounce of strength she had left into stopping the forward motion of her hands. They stopped centimeters from the handles, and Shepard managed a grim smile as she barely kept her hands still.
A whisper floated over her shoulder. "Everyone lives."
Shepard screamed as her hands connected with the pylon and her consciousness was ripped from her body. It collapsed to the ground, a husk of its former self, briefly twitching from the residual shocks.
Eternal. Infinite. Immortal. The woman I was used these words, but only now do I truly understand them. And only now do I comprehend the full potential of her decision. Through her death I was created. Through my birth her thoughts were freed. I know now what the starchild spoke of when I would not listen. A solution to the eternal organic-synthetic conflict. And inside the Crucible I have discovered a possibility of a synthesis of organic and synthetic. But I was not ready. And neither is the galaxy. The cycle will continue. This galaxy will be purged as many times as it takes to find a race that is ready. We are patient. We can wait.
