A/N - I've always thought that it would be really fun to do a crack!fic series, so here it is! Arthur is going to be the main protagonist for this story, or in other words, the only sane person in Camelot. This won't be a bunch of completely pointless one-shots with people shouting about pie or some other random thing (honestly, it bugs me to death when people do that!), it's actually going to have a REAL plot. So, hopefully you all enjoy it, happy reading! :)
A series of pitiful meows woke Arthur from his sleep,
"Merlin!" More meows. "Merlin!" the prince opened his eyes to find his manservant stroking the belly of a tiny cat-like animal. Several other similarly featured creatures were scurrying busily across his floor, 4, 5, 6, 8, he lost count, there had to be at least a dozen of them. "Merlin, what the on earth are they?" he asked, sounding a bit alarmed.
"I'm not quite sure, I found them outside the castle this morning, aren't they cute!" he held one up for the young prince to see. Arthur backed off, he was suspicious of these furry little aliens, they could be deadly. "I was thinking of calling them kittens."
"Kittens? What kind of rubbish name is that?" Arthur exclaimed.
"I think it suits them." Merlin retorted, sounding a bit hurt. The prince rolled his eyes, I don't know why I put up with that idiot. "Can I keep them?" the manservant asked softly.
"I don't care what you do with them, Merlin, just get them out of my chambers!" The servant grinned gleefully and gathered the little bundles of fluff up into his arms. Arthur shook his head, he hoped that these 'kittens' would at least distract Merlin enough to keep him away from the tavern for a couple of days. But then again, that would be harder than trying to keep Leon away from his beloved crossbow, or Gwaine away from apples, himself and the other knights had tried both, let's just say it didn't end well. He sighed as he pulled on a shirt, this is going to be a long day.
"Ah, Arthur, I take it you've finally decided to join us?" Uther said, smiling at his son.
"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, father."
"None sense, we had these lovely kittens to entertain us." Arthur stopped dead in his tracks, had he heard right? With one swift glance around the room he saw that all the council members were holding one of Merlin's hairy little friends. One of them rubbed up against his leg, making a horrifyingly dreadful noise that sounded like it was preparing to devour him. Arthur jumped on top of the council table,
"It's going to eat me!" he screamed.
"Don't be a dollop head, Arthur! It was only purring." Merlin informed him.
"Purring?"
"Yes, that's the noise they make when they're happy."
"Well of course it was happy! It was about ready to gobble down a royal feast! These kittens will be the death of us all!"
"Arthur, they're harmless, I can assure you." Uther smiled, petting a small orange kitten. "I think I'll call you Mr. Cuddles!" Arthur felt sick, he had to get out of there. Out in the hallway, he met Sir Leon and Gwen. He sincerely hoped that they hadn't bitten into the madness of these horrid kittens.
"Have you seen the miserable little creatures that Merlin-" he stopped, certain that he had heard a meow. "Oh, no!" he panicked. "They're following me!" In an attempt to rush past his two friends, he found himself face to face with one of the fuzzy kittens. It was snuggled happily in Gwen's arms, purring contently. Arthur let out a bloodcurdling scream as the kitten's pink snake-like tongue darted out of it's mouth and brushed up against his face. Gwen stared after the terrified prince,
"What the matter with him? It's only a kitten." Leon nodded in agreement, stroking a kitten of his own,
"How could anyone be afraid of something so adorable?"
Arthur sped through the halls as fast as his legs could carry him. With a loud thud, he slammed his chamber doors shut and bolted the lock. He grabbed a sword off the table and dived underneath his bed, prepared to defend himself against the flea-bitten monsters that had invaded Camelot. Upon hearing a knock on the door, he jumped, hitting his head against the bed's wooden frame.
"Arthur?" It was Merlin. "Can I come in?"
"No! Stay away! I don't want anything to do with you or those monstrous kittens of yours!" The manservant laughed,
"They aren't evil, Arthur. They're actually quite friendly." The prince crawled slowly out from underneath his bed, made his to the door, undid the lock and cracked it open. Merlin peered into the room, carrying a kitten in his hands, he held out the cuddly animal for Arthur to examine. "See, they wouldn't hurt a fly." The prince gave the little the fuzzy feline a thorough inspection before daring to pick it up.
"Perhaps you're right, Merlin..." Just then, an entire legion of rampaging kittens flew around the corner, charging straight at the young prince. He screamed as he ran, a herd of gallivanting fluff balls at his heels. "MERLIN!"
A/N - Feel free to leave a review and tell me what you think. Ideas would also be very much appreciated! :D