Author's Notes

Now THIS is a silly piece. Really silly. Purposely OOC silly, plus some made up stuff. My next fic will be more serious than this, I assure you, but enjoy anyway! Once again, don't view this silly piece as an excuse to not sign in for reviews!

Now, this ISN'T in Amelia's POV, (even if it may feel like it for no real reason) so that should make everybody (including myself!) feel better...

Beards

It was a really silly thing, this strange little fixation of Amelia's; and she could hardly believe it herself, but... she liked beards.

A lot.

So it came as no surprise to her when she first met Dozla that she immediately liked him, due to his enormous beard. It was just so green, so vibrant, so smooth and silky, or at least after it was washed. Otherwise, it was kind of gritty, but then again, everyone was gritty after battle, so it didn't really matter.

Dozla's beard was also a sort of strange comfort for Amelia. Whenever she needed a shoulder to cry on, she used Dozla's beard, burying her face in it to hide her tears. Whenever she was sleepy, she used Dozla's beard, snuggling deeply into its (mostly) soft texture. Whenever she was in a bad mood or angry, she used Dozla's beard, tugging it multiple times to release the tension in her head; this was also something that Dozla's fellow worker, Rennac, did on many occasions, but it was more likely he just wanted to annoy Dozla.

While at first, it was simply Dozla's beard that made Amelia keep going back to talk to him, she eventually began to see Dozla as a person, not just a bearded man. She was fascinated with his stories, especially those in the early past before he became Princess L'Arachel's retainer. He travelled a lot in the past; scouring the continent in search of purpose and adventure. Travel was something that Amelia wanted to do her entire life, and to her, Dozla's stories were enthralling. She enjoyed listening to him talk about his service to L'Arachel as well.

Even in the heat of battle, Amelia continued to admire things about Dozla; his prowess in battle, his commitment and loyalty, his good natured yet simple humour. All these things Amelia admired about him, including his majestically manly beard. So when the war ended, she was upset that she would have to leave his side, so she confessed her feelings to him the day they parted.

Dozla turned her down.

He knew that Amelia wasn't really in love with him; she liked his beard, and she enjoyed his company, but that was all. It would never work, considering the age difference and his position as L'Arachel's retainer. Dozla's advice for Amelia was to explore and travel the continent, see new things, meet new people, find a more suitable man. They agreed to meet again exactly five years later in Rausten...

Centuries later, in the historical records, it was confirmed that Dozla and Amelia's five sons were the most beautifully bearded men of their era.

THE END

Author's Notes

Is there anyone left? Anyone still reading? Nobody's planning to burn my house down, right?

This fic is for Surrealijah! We were discussing some things about crack pairings, and I jokingly mentioned DozlaxAmelia. Intrigued, she said she wanted to try it out, but eventually decided not to, and I said I would. Something like that, anyway. She doesn't understand why all of us are so against OOCness, so I'm sure she has no problems with this attempt! Maybe she'll try her hand at these two in the future!

I honestly could not come up with a rational way to do this, (I'm not a miracle worker, sadly :p) so I just decided to have some fun with it. There are parts that could theoretically make sense, (she seems like someone who would enjoy travel and stories about it and stuff like that) but in reality, not a chance.

With another request done, time for something original! You know, this is the first time in a long time that I haven't made any dirty jokes in a fic! Cool!