"Are you mad?"
Sam turned to his brother in surprise, trying to make out his expression in the light from passing cars as they drove. "About what?"
"That I didn't let Ruby do the spell."
Sam thought about it. Dean waited.
"No." Only Sam caught the slight relaxing of shoulders that conveyed Dean's relief.
"Why not?"
"Because you were right."
Dean's mouth quirked into a cocky grin. "I'm always right."
Sam smiled and shook his head slightly before turning serious again. There was something he needed to say. "Hey, Dean?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
Dean shot him a glance.
"For talking me out of it, I mean." Sam shifted nervously, but continued, "I don't know why I was even considering it in the first place. I guess I was just so tired of losing and of the other side breaking the rules that I wanted to break some this time. I just didn't want to lose them all."
Dean could hear the emotion in his brother's voice. He had been angry at Sam for not helping him argue with Ruby, but now that he understood him, it was hard to be mad. "I know."
"And then we did things the right way and people still got hurt, and . . . I guess I just don't know anymore, I mean, after everything Ruby said . . ."
"Sammy, I'm not sure about Ruby's theory."
Sam turned to his brother in surprise, "What do you mean?"
"I mean, she blamed us for not doing that spell. She blamed us for their deaths, for Lilith coming back, because someone got away to report to her."
Sam didn't understand where Dean was going with this. "Yeah?"
Dean turned from the road to look at Sam. "But if we had done the spell and exorcized them all . . ."
"No one would have reported to Lilith," Sam finished, beginning to understand what
Dean was getting at. He knew how a general worked. "And she would have come herself to find out what had happened, because no one would have reported positively or negatively on the status of the job. She would have come anyways." Sam began to think seriously about everything Ruby had said. Then a realization hit him. "She asked for the Colt."
Dean met his eyes. "She was going to kill them?"
"I dunno, but . . ."
"Yeah. I wonder what she was trying to do."
Neither brother had an answer for that.
Silence fell, broken only by the softly turned down classic rock humming from the radio.
Dean snuck glances at Sam where he sat in the passenger seat, lost in thought. Ruby had told him that she wanted to toughen Sam up, to get him ready to fight the demon war on his own.
But Sam was already scaring him with his new lack of conscience. His little brother had always been the softer one, defending the innocent and not-so-innocent. But now . . . panic began to build inside him at the thought of Yellow-Eyes' words, the doubt that his brother had come back the same as he'd left, and the thought that now some random demon was wearing away at the little conscience Sam appeared to have left.
And Sam . . . Sammy was just trying to be like him. With effort, Dean pushed the panic back down. They'd made it through. Sam hadn't killed any virgins. And he was here to look after his little brother. They could get through this. There was no way he was letting Ruby mess with Sam's head.
At the other end of the bench seat, Sam's mind churned with unanswered questions. He knew that Ruby claimed she wanted to help him and could save Dean. But why? Why was she so interested in helping them out? She was a demon. And all the other demons seemed to want Sam dead. Saw him as competition. Why was Ruby fighting on his side? What did she want from him?
And could they trust her? All she'd ever done was save they're lives. But Sam still just wasn't sure. He knew they could use her help. But trusting her? He didn't think he could.
"He didn't have a family."
"What?" Dean's quiet statement took him by surprise in the silence that had fallen after their discussion about Ruby.
"Henricksen. He was just like us. Spent his life fighting a never-ending tide of evil, making little headway, . . . and when he dies . . ."
"No one remembers him," Sam finished his brother's thought and studied him from the corner of his eye, trying to think of something to say. A way to let his brother know he wasn't as forgettable as he thought he was. "We do."
"What?"
"We do. We got to see who he could be. And all those people who were possessed – they know him." Dean's focus remained stoically on the blacktop being eaten by the Impala, but Sam could see the subtle shift in his bearing that meant Dean really was listening, so he continued. "It will never be publicised, the world will never know what he did, but those people are alive because of him. And that's what matters."
"I know."
"And we remember him."
Dean finally turned his head to meet Sam's eyes. Then he flicked his gaze back to the road.
"Yeah."