IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF SAN FRANCISCO COUNTY, CALIFORNIA
REMBRANDT "CRYIN' MAN" BROWN,
Plaintiff
v.
QUINN MALLORY, and WADE WELLS,
Defendants
COMPLAINT
THE PARTIES
Plaintiff, Rembrandt Brown, has been a resident of San Francisco or a cross-dimensional analogue thereof at all times relevant hereto.
Upon information and belief, Defendant, Quinn Mallory, has been a resident of San Francisco or a cross-dimensional analogue thereof at all times relevant hereto.
Upon information and belief, Defendant, Wade Wells, has been a resident of San Francisco or a cross-dimensional analogue thereof at all times relevant hereto.
JURISDICTION AND VENUE
This court has personal jurisdiction over Defendants, Quinn Mallory and Wade Wells, in that both are believed to be residents of San Francisco County, California, or a cross-dimensional analogue thereof. This court has subject matter jurisdiction over plaintiff's claim, in that it arose under and is governed by California substantive law. This court has venue over this matter, in that plaintiff's claim arose in San Francisco County, California, or a cross-dimensional analogue thereof.
FACTUAL BACKGROUND
On March 22, 1995, at approximately 6:30 PM, both defendants, and Professor Maximilian Arturo, a professor of physics at the University of California, were present in the basement of Defendant Mallory's house, located on 9th Street in San Francisco, and owned by Amanda Mallory, Defendant Mallory's mother.
Defendant Mallory was in the process of testing a machine, which Defendant Mallory had previously designed and constructed, capable of opening wormholes to alternate dimensions. Transiting said wormholes is known as "sliding".
Upon information and belief, Defendant Mallory had invited Professor Arturo and Defendant Wells to his basement to observe the operation of his "sliding" machine.
Upon further information and belief, when Defendant Mallory showed his machine to Defendant Wells and Professor Arturo, Defendant Wells strongly encouraged him to attempt to "slide" all three defendants to an alternate dimension immediately.
Plaintiff was, at the aforementioned time, driving by aforementioned house on 9th Street.
Despite words of caution from Professor Arturo, Defendant Mallory and Defendant Wells decided to "slide" themselves to an alternate dimension. Defendant Mallory possessed a device, referred to as the "timer", which returns persons who "slide" to the "sliding" machine after a specified time. Defendant Mallory decided to set the "timer" to five hours. Neither defendants nor Professor Arturo obtained any survival gear or supplies.
Upon information and belief, Defendant Mallory had previously received part of a warning, from another version of himself from an alternate dimension, not to override the timer and "slide" before the time elapsed. Nonetheless, Defendant Mallory decided to set the timer in a way that was likely to either compel anyone who "slid" to remain in a completely unknown alternate universe for five hours, or face unknown and unpredictable consequences from overriding the timer.
Upon information and belief, both defendants, and Professor Arturo, decided to carry out the "slide". For this reason, Defendant Wells expressed concern about the ability of the wormhole, physically or energetically, to convey all three persons safely to an alternate dimension. In response, Defendant Mallory, despite having made no previous calculations or experiments about what would occur if he did this, and being in a densely populated area, decided to increase the power input to the wormhole by a factor of at least three.
After Defendant Mallory increased the power, the wormhole moved out of Defendant Mallory's basement and into the street outside. Plaintiff did not have sufficient time to brake, turn, or otherwise avoid the wormhole, and Plaintiff and Plaintiff's car both entered the wormhole.
The wormhole deposited Plaintiff, both defendants, and Professor Arturo in a dimension in which San Francisco was covered in ice and the ambient temperature was less than ten degrees Fahrenheit. This San Francisco was apparently uninhabited.
Upon information and belief, neither defendant possessed clothing suitable for such cold conditions. All four "Sliders" soon took shelter in Plaintiff's car. Had they not been able to do this, they would likely have suffered from frostbite or hypothermia.
After a short time in this place, an ice tornado approached Plaintiff's car. Defendant Mallory decided to override the timer and "slide" again.
Plaintiff's car was left behind and could not be recovered. When the "Sliders" reached another dimension, it was not the original dimension, nor could they return to the original dimension. The "Sliders" were ultimately forced to spend more than a year "sliding" between various dimensions. (Despite reports to the contrary, involving incidents with living fire, giant worms, zombies, and a woman known as "Maggie", the "Sliders" were all returned home by a bizarre time reversal phenomenon after less than two years.)
In the course of these "slides", Plaintiff was attacked by various persons, including Communist soldiers, public health officials, anti-British rebels, "Lottery Police", reproduction control officials, unknown combatants in an anarchic dimension, a tyrannical alternate FBI, dinosaurs, members of organized crime organizations, and "Kromaggs". Plaintiff was detained against his will by "Lottery Police" and the aforementioned reproduction officials.
When exiting a "sliding" wormhole, one is generally projected violently from the wormhole, often from a height of up to eight feet. Landings are therefore hard, and repeatedly caused Plaintiff injuries, pain, and suffering.
The lengthy absence of Plaintiff from this dimension seriously disrupted his musical career, depriving him of economic advantage. In fact, Plaintiff was scheduled to perform the national anthem at a major professional sporting event on the very night he encountered Defendant Mallory's wormhole.
COUNT I—COMMON LAW NEGLIGENCE vs. QUINN MALLORY
Defendant Mallory owed Plaintiff a duty to refrain from activities which were likely to cause him or others to be conveyed into potentially dangerous alternate dimensions without their knowledge or consent, which included a duty to refrain from experimentation with dangerous and poorly understood equipment in a densely populated area, in a facility not designed for such experimentation, without proper safety precautions.
Defendant Mallory breached said duty as aforesaid, and said breach was the proximate cause of plaintiff's injuries, including pain and suffering, lost time from Plaintiff's singing career, lost earning capacity, the loss of Plaintiff's car, and other damages.
COUNT II—COMMON LAW NEGLIGENCE vs. WADE WELLS
Defendant Wells owed Plaintiff a common law duty to make sensible preparations for activities which could result in others being conveyed into alternate dimensions as aforesaid, including the provision of equipment for climatic extremes, shelter from wind and precipitation, food and water, and other necessities.
COUNT III—ULTRAHAZARDOUS ACTIVITY (STRICT LIABILITY)
Plaintiff asserts that the activity of using inadequately tested and poorly understood "sliding" equipment in a densely populated area constitutes an "ultra-hazardous" activity which exposes both of these defendants to strict liability.
Plaintiff accordingly asserts a claim against both of these defendants, individually and jointly and severally, for damages including pain and suffering, lost time from Plaintiff's singing career, lost earning capacity, the loss of Plaintiff's car, and other damages.
PRAYER FOR RELIEF
Plaintiff, Rembrandt Brown, by counsel, requests the Court to enter a judgment against each defendant individually, jointly, and severally, for compensatory damages as set forth in his complaint, as well as costs, attorney fees, pre-judgment and post-judgment interest.
PLAINTIFF DEMANDS A TRIAL BY JURY.