Song- Jackrabbit, San Fermin
Rabbitkit had never made a friend. She had never been able to give a cheerful hello to another kit without them giving a shaky one back, providing her with an excuse about having to go back to their mother for a nap or a wash before rushing away. She had never been able to bump into a warrior or apprentice without being met with a snarl from even the most reserved and friendly cats- who treated the other kits just fine.
The black as night kit curled up in her cold, secluded corner of the Nursery. She had never met her real mother, she didn't even know her parents' names. She was told that her mother died in her birth, and had never named the father. As soon as she could survive off of prey, she was kicked out of the Queens' nests.
Why do they hate me? was a constant thought in Rabbitkit's mind. Currently, it was ringing through her head, over and over again as she watched the other kits play from the shadows of camp- the one place where she wasn't judged, which she had learned the hard way, because even stepping out of them made eyes full of hatred and fear go to her.
"Ridgekit, that hurt," a voice complained. It came from a pretty, pure white she-kit with glittering blue eyes.
"Sorry, Snowkit," Ridgekit, the brown tom with cream markings scattered throughout his fur meowed without really sounding sincere about the apology. The two were a moon older than Rabbitkit, but she acted more like a warrior then the other two. Maybe it had something to do with how she was treated.
Rabbitkit wondered what would happen if someday, by some miracle given to her by StarClan, she was invited to play with the other two kits.
"Rabbitkit!" Snowkit would call, her high-pitched voice making her ears twitch. "We need an extra kit for this game."
"Yeah," Ridgekit would add. "It's no fun with just two playing."
"You're asking me?" Rabbitkit would meow, surprise filling every syllable of her question.
"There's no other kits around," Snowkit might tease. She might also tease, "What, are you going to say no?" Rabbitkit found she liked the latter better, so she choose that.
"No, no I'm not," she would meow, padding slowly towards the two.
She was snapped out of her fantasy by a sharp screech- it looked like Ridgekit accidentally ripped out a chunk of his littermate's fur. In less than a heartbeat, their mother, a beautiful cream and brown tabby she-cat with blazing green eyes was in the clearing, her eyes searching all over camp.
"Where's Rabbitkit?!" she yowled. Rabbitkit stiffened, not even daring to breathe as she hid. A russet-furred apprentice sniffed the air, his eyes following Rabbitkit towards her spot. He seemed to hesitate for a heartbeat, then two, before he padded over to her hiding spot and picked her up by her scruff. The Queen was on the two in an instant, not even waiting for the black kit to be set down. "What did you do to Snowkit?" she snarled.
"Nothing!" Rabbitkit squeaked out in her soft voice, her fur purred outwards in fear.
"Don't give me that!" the she-cat growled.
"She didn't," a voice chimed. The cats turned to look at a large and intimidating tom.
His pelt was the color of clouds, and looked just as fluffy. His paws, ears, and chest were the color of the night sky, and looked just as dark. His eyes were the color of the sky, but held none of the warmth. Skystar was certainly not a cat to be taken lightly.
"Whitethorn, if you're going to accuse a cat, make sure you're accusing the right one," his eyes narrowed. "Prejudice and history are not guilt."
Whitethorn stiffened, scrambling for words for a few moments, before dipping her head. "Y-yes, Skystar."
"Your culprit is Ridgekit," Skystar meowed, "but the crime is no more than momentary pain. Redpaw, put down Rabbitkit." The apprentice listened to his orders quickly, setting Rabbitkit gently on the ground. "I believe you have training to get to," Skystar added.
"Yes, o-of course," Redpaw meowed, turning on his heel and padding towards the camp entrance. After one last, long-lasting glare at Rabbitkit, Whitethorn padded away towards Ridgekit. After a moment longer, Skystar left too, once again leaving Rabbitkit alone.
A moon passed in much the same way- Rabbitkit staying alone. Ridgekit and Snowkit were now Ridgepaw and Snowpaw, ruining all illusions she had of having kit friends. However, a Queen named Blossompetal, a fawn colored she-cat with a darker muzzle, chest, and belly, moved into the Nursery not long after the incident with Skystar, and she had given birth to her kits last night. Blossompetal was known for her episodes of confusion after she had gained a bad blow to her head, and that raised the question of whether or not she would be a good mother, but a few former Queens spoke about how maternal instincts reign over memory. And since her episodes weren't violent, the Medicine Cat saw no issue with her being a Queen.
Rabbitkit expected the Queen to be sleeping when she entered the Nursery to finally get some sleep, but there she was, awake and staring at her kits with love in her eyes. She looked drowsy, like she was about to fall asleep, yet she was still awake. Rabbitkit stiffened when Blossompetal turned her gaze to her. Confusion filled her eyes for a second, before it was wiped away.
"You don't need to be jumpy," Blossompetal meowed. "Would you like to meet them?" Rabbitkit's ears flicked upwards, her eyes widened, her whole stance reeked of surprise, and it only served to make the Queen purr harder. "Come on," she meowed, gesturing minimally with her tail in front of her. Slowly, Rabbitkit padded in front of the nest, looking down at three bundles of fur. One was a fawn colored tom, his pelt matching most of his mother's. Another was a darker brown she-kit, with a black tail and small black paws. The last was a black and brown patched tom.
"These are Dustkit," she gestured to the fawn tom with a nod of her head, "Flintkit," the she-kit, "and Gingerkit," to the last kit.
Rabbitkit had folded her ear back in confusion. "But he's not ginger," she meowed before she could stop herself.
Blossompetal let out another purr. "Look at you, questioning me," she meowed. "Just like when we were apprentices, right, Meadow…" she trailed off, a confused look on her own face. "I'm sorry, what was your name again? I know I ask this a lot."
"What's her name?" A squeaky voice asks, breaking her away from her train of thought. She turned her head to look at Flintkit, who had opened a pair of bright blue eyes. "I wanna know who she is!" Blossompetal turned her head to look at Rabbitkit, and not seeming to care that she was well within earshot, answered.
"Her name is Rabbitkit," she meowed, "and I'd like you and your littermates to stay away from her."
"Why?" Flintkit asked.
Blossompetal gave Rabbitkit a long look before responding. "Cats worry about what she might become."
Rabbitkit had gotten used to being alone when she was with Ridgepaw and Snowpaw. She had gotten used to being completely alone when they left. She could get used to being alone around Dustkit, Flintkit, and Gingerkit.
A moon passed differently from her other five- when she was with Ridgepaw and Snowpaw, they would either ignore her or insult her. The three younger kits seemed determined to get to know her, despite the fact that they would get in trouble every time it happened. At first, the cats blamed Rabbitkit, but then it started happening so often that they knew it must have been the younger three knowing they were in a time crunch of a moon.
"Rabbitkit!" the named kit turned her head to look at Gingerkit, who was padding happily towards her with his tail in the air. "Do you wanna play with us?" he asked.
Rabbitkit had taken them up on their offer once before, after a long moment of hesitation. Their punishment was to be confined to the Nursery for multiple days.
The black she-kit shook her head. "You'll get in trouble," she meowed.
"But we wanna play with you!" Gingerkit complained. "Maybe you can teach us some cool battle moves that apprentices teached you?"
"It's taught," Rabbitkit corrected, "and they haven't shown me anything." The closest interaction she had with an apprentice was when Redpaw would look over at her, like he wanted to go talk to her, before he got called away.
"Gingerkit!" a voice called. The two looked at Blossompetal, who didn't seem surprised to see the two together. "Come here," she meowed.
"Coming!" He looked over his shoulder at the older kit. "See you later, Rabbitkit!"
All of their attempts were fruitless, until on the day of her apprentice ceremony when they offered to help wash her fur. She paused, her paw still hanging in front of her mouth, and waited a few moments to ask "What?"
"We want to help wash your fur!" Dustkit added.
Rabbitkit tilted her head. "Why?"
"Cause you shouldn't have to do it alone!" Flintkit added, ending it with a drawn out 'please' that the other two kits joined in on. Occasionally, one would stop to take breaths before continuing.
"Will you stop that if I say yes?" Rabbitkit asked, her ear twitching.
"Yes!" Flintkit paused in her 'please' to meow, before continuing.
"Then yes." The three broke out in a cheer before leaping onto Rabbitkit, furiously licking at the fur they could reach. It didn't take them long to finish.
The fur itself was clean, but it stuck out in all directions in a few places. Rabbitkit assumed that she couldn't look any better for a kit washing her own fur. She nodded a thanks to the kits, who scampered off happily, smoothing down all the fur she could before she padded towards a building crowd. She sat in front of a fallen tree, looked up at the branches and waited.
Soon enough, Skystar appeared on a thick branch, easily balancing on it. The deputy, a russet she-cat named Ravenlake, appeared a few branches under him.
Skystar didn't bother calling the Clan together- Rabbitkit guessed that it was because a lot of cats just didn't want to come to her ceremony. Most of the cats here probably just wanted to see who her mentor would be.
"Rabbitkit," Skystar began, "from this moment on and until you earn your warrior name, you shall be known as Rabbitpaw. Ravenlake," Already, Rabbitpaw's eyes widened as the name was called. "I believe that you are the best suited and the best hope for training Rabbitpaw. I entrust her training to you."
The deputy dipped her head to her leader, leaping off of her branch and landing gracefully on the ground. She padded over to Rabbitpaw, and Rabbitpaw tentatively touched her nose with her own.
The silence around the clearing, to Rabbitpaw at least, was deafening. Until it was broken by three, squeaky voices that were quickly silenced by another cat.
"Rabbitpaw! Rabbitpaw!"
"Follow me," Ravenlake meowed, padding towards the camp entrance. "I'll be showing you the territory."
Rabbitpaw hadn't felt this happy in a long time.
Training with Ravenlake was hard- she held no reservations on what would normally be considered too much for a beginner apprentice. She would wake just before the sun began to rose, and come back to camp well after the moon had started to rise. She would eat a piece of prey, then stumble into her nest and fall asleep as soon as her fur touched moss. Quickly, though, her body became used to the sleeping schedule, and she wasn't as tired. Her body was constantly sore, but while in the beginning she could barely walk across the territory without getting tired, now she could easily run around the territory without breaking a sweat. While before she could barely get a single blow in on Ravenlake, now she could land quite a few- some of them were even effective in her getting close to winning before the deputy beat her. Her hunting had improved from when she was once missing every other piece of prey, she rarely missed something now.
The fact that she had only been in training for three moons should have been a testament to Ravenlake's harsh and effective training.
"Rabbitpaw," Ravenlake meowed, her tail curled neatly over her paws. The black she-cat lifted her head, pausing practicing the battle move that the deputy- she wasn't allowed to refer to her as her mentor- had shown her. "I need to tell you something. Sit." Rabbitpaw didn't hesitate to listen to the command. She had learned early on that a harder-than-normal cuff around the ear wasn't out of the question from the she-cat. She sat down, looking as put together as the cat in front of her. "It's about your parents," Ravenlake began.
Rabbitpaw's eyes widened. "Why are you telling me now?" she asked.
Ravenlake narrowed her eyes. "Skystar decided that it was time you knew," she answered. "Your parents are Meadowrain and Beaverwater." The memory of Blossompetal calling her Meadow-something before trailing off, claiming she forgot the rest of the name echoed in her mind.
"I know you get mad if I interrupt," Rabbitpaw meowed quickly, "but was Meadowrain close with Blossompetal?"
Ravenlake's eyes narrowed even more, her ears lowering. "How did you know that?" she asked.
"She called me Meadow before when she was confused, but she didn't remember the rest of the name." Slowly, the deputy's ears rose and her eyes opened.
"Yes, they were close," Ravenlake meowed. "And Blossompetal forgetting your mother's name was a common occurrence. May I continue?" she asked the question with sarcasm in her tone, and Rabbitpaw nodded. "Your mother and father were the greatest bane ValleyClan have ever encountered since the time of legends," she explained, making Rabbitpaw's green eyes widen in surprise. "Beaverwater escaped to other groups of cats, convincing them to attack us for a favor in return. Almost all of them accepted, but at the time we didn't know that it was him. Meadowrain made sure that the herbs from the territory were destroyed and wouldn't grow back- the cats that didn't die from the battles were at a high risk of infection, and many died from it. It wasn't until we caught Meadowrain and Beaverwater plotting with a leader of a group of rogues to take us over, to make us their servants, that we realized it was them and held them prisoner.
"The rogues attacked us anyway, in an effort to get at Beaverwater for not giving them what was promised. He was killed in the battle, but Meadowrain was already pregnant." Ravenlake gave Rabbitpaw a piercing glare. "And you know what happened to her."
"I killed her," she meowed softly.
"You and your littermate," she corrected. Rabbitpaw's ears perked- she didn't know she had a littermate. "He was a stillborn, but he was named Moorkit. After you were born, Meadowrain died."
Rabbitkit paused, taking in all the information, but she didn't have time to take in everything before Ravenlake spoke again.
"You're going to be like them," she growled harshly. "I know it. They're grown up, dead, and gone, and you're young and growing, but you will be just like them. Maybe it wouldn't have happened if the Clan had stepped up and realized that you had freed us from battle after battle and draining resources, but now that they've avoided you for so long there's no chance at redemption for you."
Rabbitpaw swallowed, listening to the deputy speak. Tears wanted to spring to her eyes, but she held them down. "Do you have a suggestion?" she asked weakly, looking at her paws.
"Run for the hills and don't look back." The she-cat stood, flicking her tail, then started to pad out of the clearing. "I want that move perfected by tomorrow. If you're not gone by then, at least."
Days droned on. Rabbitpaw kept learning. She thought about leaving. She thought about staying.
If she left, there would be no more glares, no more snarls. No more harsh training from Ravenlake- a cat who she knew hated her, a mentor that she wasn't allowed to call a mentor. No more having to stay away from Dustkit, Flintkit, and Gingerkit for their own sakes, because she wouldn't be around for them to get in trouble anymore. No more hatred for history that wasn't hers. The argument for leaving looked better everyday- her mind chanted for her to run for the hills, run for the hills, run.
What would she get if she stayed, anyway? The kits only spoke to her because they wanted to be rebellious. Cats said that the Clans were about companionship- the more of you there are, the more prey there would be and if you had to fight every cat would be on your side, no matter if they agreed with you, or even liked you. Rabbitpaw wasn't sure that any cat from ValleyClan would fight with her. The training from Ravenlake was useful, but she couldn't just leave the things that she already had behind. Once, she had sparred against Snowpaw, and she had won. She couldn't believe the result, and neither could the other apprentices, but the warriors had just nodded, meowing about how they would expect nothing less from an apprentice of the deputy. She had even beaten Redpaw once, and he was almost a warrior!
Everytime she tried to leave, though, something stopped her. Once, it was the kits asking her if she could play, and she let out a sigh, telling them she had to go to training. She decided to stay just a bit longer, for the kits.
The next time, Ravenlake snapped at her that she was late for training. Her mind reminded her that maybe she could prove herself to Ravenlake. That would prove herself to the Clan, right? Those thoughts always died down quickly, but she decided to stay a bit longer.
After that was the beginning of Leaf Fall, the cold of it making her shiver constantly. Her pelt hadn't grown out yet like the other cat's had. Redpaw had pressed himself against her, ending her shivering. She had thought that if Redpaw was willing to be so close to her, without growling or snarling, then maybe she had hope with the rest of the Clan, and decided to stay a bit longer.
Finally, though, another time arose where she decided to leave. She was tired of everything- the snarls, the growls, the false promise of companionship- she just wanted to leave. She waited until it was nighttime, and slid quietly out of her den. Her ears perked as she heard quiet voices of familiar four moon old kits. Not again, not again, she thought, but padded towards them anyway, wondering what they were up to. The three were hiding in a corner of camp, whispering urgently to each other.
"What are you doing?" Rabbitpaw asked quietly. The three jumped.
"Uh… hi, Rabbitpaw!" Gingerkit whisper-yelled to her. "Just… talking!"
"Yeah! Just talking!" Flintkit added.
"You're trying to sneak out of camp, aren't you?" Rabbitpaw asked. The three looked surprised for a moment, before nodded.
"You're gonna send us back to Blossompetal," Dustkit complained. Rabbitpaw thought for a heartbeat.
"You know what? Follow me, but stay silent." The three looked excited, and nodded happily. Rabbitpaw turned on her heel, padding towards the dirtplace and sliding through the wall there. She could hear the kits following her let out sounds of disgust before they followed her. They padded a bit away from camp before Rabbitpaw spoke. "You see that stone over there?" she meowed, gesturing to the large rock. The three kits nodded. "When you see that, you'll know how to get back to camp. Moss grows on one side of it- head in the direction that doesn't have moss."
"You're talking like you're not coming back with us," Flintkit laughed. Rabbitpaw didn't so much as flick her ear.
"You're not coming back with us," Dustkit meowed, his eyes widening.
"No," Rabbitpaw meowed.
"You're leaving the Clan?!" Gingerkit squeaked loudly. The black she-cat hesitated for a heartbeat before nodding. "Why!?"
"You've seen how the Clan treats me," Rabbitpaw meowed. "I'm tired of it." Before they could speak again, she cut in with something that she knew they wouldn't refuse. "You kept asking me to play, and the only reason I didn't was because you would have gotten in trouble. Now, I think the least I can do is show you around the territory."
The kits brightened. "Let's do it! Let's do it!" Flintkit cheered. Rabbitpaw set off. She showed them the training clearing, where they rolled around in the sand. When they were done, they shook it out of their pelts, creating a mini-sandstorm. Next, she showed them the Mother Tree. After that, she showed them a steep slope that all three of them almost fell down. When they asked why it was there and that it was a traitor to all cats trying to stand, she answered that that was the point- it was only really used during battle, and the only way to get down it was to run down before you fell. The only way to get up was to leap.
Finally, Rabbitpaw stopped. "The sun's going to rise soon," she meowed. "Follow your scent back to camp."
A look of sadness fell on the three's faces. "Do we have to?" Gingerkit asked.
"If you don't want to get caught," Rabbitpaw told them. Flintkit rushed up to her and licked her chest. The other two quickly followed after.
"Bye, Rabbitpaw!" Flintkit meowed, forcing cheeriness.
"May StarClan light your path!" Dustkit added, sounding cheeky as he did so (Rabbitpaw bet that he was just glad he remembered the phrase).
"I'm not going to forget you, you know," Rabbitpaw meowed. She dipped her head to them in goodbye. "May StarClan light your path," she returned, turning to leave the territory.
The sun was starting to rise when she finally crossed the scent line. The padded across the broad expanse of flatness until she reached the hills, quickly covering them. She found a river, which she laid next to and feel asleep.
She was woken up by a paw shaking her. She opened her green eyes, looking up at a russet she-cat. At first, she thought that it was Ravenlake and stiffened at the thought, but noticed that this cat was much smaller than the deputy and had different color eyes- a copper color.
"What's a molly like you doing sleeping next to the river?" the she-cat asked with a bit of an accent.
"Molly?" Rabbitpaw asked, sitting up and taking a closer look at the cat. She was small and lean- but not dangerously thin. Her whole pelt was russet, reminding her of Redpaw, but she shook the thought from her mind. The fur was clean and well-kempt, and her eyes glittered with a strange happiness.
"Yeah, a molly," she meowed. "Female cat?"
"You mean a she-cat?"
"Sure," she meowed. "But what're you doing sleeping by the river?"
"I was walking since nighttime," Rabbitpaw meowed.
"Why were you doing that?" the she-cat tilted her head.
"I had to get away."
"Away from where? Oh, Gods, you weren't hurt by some cat, were you?"
Rabbitpaw shook her head. "No, don't worry."
"Good, good," she meowed. "Oh, I'm Howler, by the way. What's your name?"
"Rabbitpaw."
"That's a weird name," Howler commented, folding her ear back. "I mean, having to be called that your whole life?"
"Howler is a weird name to me," Rabbitpaw argued. "I've never met a loner before."
"I'm not a loner," Howler meowed. "We just move around a lot, and I'm on my own for now." Her head snapped upwards with a thought. "Hey, you could come with me!"
"What?"
"Yeah, you could come with! You see, there's this tradition where I come from? Once cats reach a certain age we have to leave and travel by ourselves for a while. But we're allowed to bring cats back, and broaden the bloodlines and experiences of the group!" Howler happily explained. "So, what do you say, Rabbitpaw?"
Rabbitpaw narrowed her eyes, not wanting to join another group again so fast. "...Maybe."
"Well, then come with me!" Howler meowed. She led the way away from the river before looking over her shoulder at the black she-cat. "You know, you kind of remind me of a rabbit."
"Because of my name?" Rabbitpaw asked dryly.
"No, no," Howler meowed. "I don't know what it is, you just do."
"Rex rabbit?" she had tried once, before shaking her head. "No, no."
"Beveren," she had tried again. "Nope."
"Silver fox?" she had mumbled to herself. "May… nope, not at all."
"Satin," she tried once, making Rabbitpaw roll her eyes.
"We're almost there, you know," Howler meowed one day.
"Where?"
"Home." Howler looked back at Rabbitpaw. "Do you know if you want to join or not?"
Rabbitpaw thought for a few heartbeats. "If all of them are like you, sure."
"What does that mean?" Howler asked.
"Maybe they'll spend their time with me listing off rabbit breeds."
"Hey!" Rabbitpaw had purred at her in return.
They had reached the group of cats after three long moons. The two were standing on top of a ridge, looking down at the cats. Howler seemed to be waiting for something.
"I've got it!" she meowed happily. "Jackrabbit." She turned her copper eyes towards Rabbitpaw. "That's what I'm calling you now. Jackrabbit."
I might make fanfic out of this, but just about Rabbitpaw's life in with Howler and with the other group and maybe interacting with ValleyClan again at some point. Tell me what you think of this!