Disclaimer: All recognizable Rizzoli & Isles characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners including, but not limited to TNT. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fan fiction story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No financial gain is associated with the publishing of this story. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's note: I realize that there is a similar theme to this piece and "Charity" that was posted a few days ago. I hope they don't seem connected, as they aren't. The Isles Foundation must have been on my mind. There is also a large section of this that is a flashback with smaller bits that are also similarly separated by italics. I hope it isn't confusing. As for the song, a reader suggested it and I've been playing with it for some time. More and more I find that using songs for inspiration is the best way to write. It's called "Secret Love Song" by Little Mix with Jason Derulo. Additionally, a couple weeks ago, I spent time on YouTube and found lots of inspiration. The folks who make fan videos are the true geniuses of this fandom. My hat is off to them. -dkc
Secret Love Song
Maura Isles cares about medicine. She cares that the dead are afforded dignity, respect and justice. In her final months in the morgue, she began making a list of outdated equipment as well as equipment that had never been purchased for the lab. That list was how the Isles Foundation, at her direction, began financially contributing to the Boston Police Department.
It was in those early days of planning the first donation to the lab that she realized the inherent biases she brought to her new role. It was one thing to be directing philanthropy that benefitted friends who had become her family. It was another to be donating to the very institution that employed the person with which she was having an emotional and sexual relationship.
Ever the professional, this bothered Maura immensely.
"God, that was ridiculous!" Jane huffed as she came through the side door of the Beacon Hill townhouse. "I had to tell my mother I was heading home and drive that direction out of the parking lot of the restaurant while she was watching. Then I ended up in a traffic cluster fuck."
"Why didn't you tell her you were coming here?" Maura was confused.
"Before you arrived at dinner, she lectured me about not taking all of your time so that you could have a personal life," she sat down at the counter and reached for the beer the doctor had opened for her.
"She's not worried about you having no personal life if you spend all of your time with me?" she raised an eyebrow.
"You know that isn't the issue."
"But doesn't it seem odd that your mother isn't concerned about your lack of 'personal' life, by which she means sex life?" she leaned against the island, her cleavage catching Jane's eye. "When did that change?"
When Jane first began looking lustily at Maura, she would reprimand herself. When her cheeks would color, she tried desperately to hide it. Now that both parties knew and communicated their attraction, she really allowed herself to embrace it when they were alone.
"You glanced at me like that at dinner," the M.E. spoke softly. "Your brother noticed."
"He noticed your neckline or he noticed me noticing your..." she smirked, her eyes dropping once again to the revealing plunge. "...noticeable assets?"
"Probably both."
"Bastard," Jane said and they both chuckled.
Reaching for Jane's beer and taking a drink, Maura smiled at the power she had over Jane with something as simple as a deep plunge.
"What is this you're listening to?" Jane pointed to the ceiling.
"Mmm...Jason Derulo? With someone I don't know. Do you like it?"
"It isn't something I would expect you to be listening to. I'm trying not to read too much into it," brown eyes reflected a touch of sadness, far from the lightness of a moment before.
"Let's turn it off and go upstairs," Maura suggested.
"Can I can take my beer?" Jane gave Maura her best pleading face.
"Yes, but you may be too busy to drink it," came the teasing reply.
Damn, Jane thought as she watched the coy woman heading for the stairs. For a brief moment she was sad that she couldn't share with anyone else how hopelessly in love she was with her best friend.
When she reached the bedroom Maura was nowhere in sight. Going across the hall to prepare for bed, she brushed her teeth, put on a tank top and shorts and washed her face.
Staring in the mirror, anticipating what Maura may or may not be wearing in the other room, she couldn't help but think about how this all began:
God in heaven, she was gorgeous.
Jane had seen Maura wear every possible combination of her full and varied wardrobe, but when she arrived for dinner that night she was taken aback. It must be new. The light blue highlighted Maura's eyes in a particularly breathtaking manner, the slight shimmer of the fabric complementing the gold tones in the doctor's hair. The length of the romper left very little to Jane's imagination.
Throughout dinner she found herself glancing at Maura, sometimes innocently, only to quickly look away in embarrassment. Beyond the doctor's attire, Jane saw something in Maura she hadn't seen before. The entire night their looks brought intrigue and possibilities.
Maura knew. Maura had always known. Jane had always looked at her with those piercing eyes that lacked the ability to veil their true intent. She never expected anything to come of it until the cold Boston day when Jane changed the rules of the game completely.
They were finally in the warm car. Despite the air blowing from the vents, Jane's hands could not thaw. She never imagined that responding to a call at a city park would have gone quite like this.
"What are you doing?" she barked.
In somewhat practical footwear, the doctor had stepped into the icy cold stream next to the body a man had discovered while walking his Saint Bernard.
"There's no way to release the body without lifting the head to untangle her hair from the grate," Maura was in full M.E. mode.
"You'll freeze!" Jane was worried.
Without thinking she splashed into the cold water. She had on lined boots and extra socks. Having lived in Boston her whole life, she often over prepared for the weather.
"What are you doing?" Maura had stopped before reaching her hand into the water. Turning to Jane, the doctor was immediately concerned when Jane put her own hand beneath the body. She was wearing gloves that were not waterproof.
"Get her untangled and hurry," she demanded.
It hadn't taken long for them to extricate the body and for the M.E.'s assistants to load her into their van.
Both women had jumped in the car, the scene cordoned off and being examined by the crime scene investigators. Maura had taken her boots off immediately to allow the hot air coming from the vents to warm them. The woman beside her was having a much harder time getting warm. The hand she had plunged into the water was clearly causing her distress.
"God, my hand!" she groaned.
While the hand on the steering wheel was perfectly warm and dry, her other hand was almost white except for the reddish-purple raised scars.
"Open and close your fist," Maura instructed. "Even if it is painful."
Jane tried to open her hand and cried in anguish. She hadn't experienced this much pain in her hand since just after she began rehab for the scalpel wounds.
"Keep trying. It will get the blood flowing."
Doing as she was told, she grimaced. Still holding it near the vent, she began to feel the warmth, but the pain persisted.
"Give me your hand," Maura had turned toward Jane, her knees touching the middle console.
Jane's skepticism was painted on her face. She continued stretching her hand; not wanting to accept what she thought would be some sort of massage.
"For god's sake," Maura, exasperated, grabbed Jane's open hand and pulled it toward her own body.
Surprise and confusion hit Jane as Maura's action brought heat to her body, particularly her cheeks.
Maura had placed Jane's hand between her thighs, closing them tightly. Without skipping a beat, she began to explain before Jane could stop staring and ask.
"Compression can force additional blood flow to muscles," her eyes finally met Jane's. "And the heat from my legs will help."
The detective said nothing. She managed to close her mouth, but her gaze returned to where her hand was placed.
"Is it helping?" Maura's voice cut the silence.
She placed a hand on the forearm of the speechless Jane. A smile reached her eyes at her friend's reaction. When Jane noticed the smile, her hand twitched. She was not oblivious. She knew how intimate their position was. She also couldn't help but think of the small distance between where her hand was and the apex of those very thighs. The warmth had reached every inch of her body.
"It's, um, warm," she managed to speak.
Not knowing how to interpret this, Maura parted her legs slightly. What she didn't expect was for the cop's hand to remain. What she really didn't expect was for that hand to gradually move. It slid closer to her core before almost imperceptibly returning to where it began. Whether she should read this as Jane simply using movement and friction to continue to warm her hand or Jane making a altogether different move, she had no idea.
"Jane?" she questioned.
"We'll go in a minute," she looked into Maura's eyes as she slid her hand once again to the tempting place that was gradually becoming needy.
Not allowing her hand past an imaginary barrier, Jane would progress and retreat. It was when she reached that imaginary barrier for the fourth time and found her hand noticeably tensing that she knew her inner thoughts were perfectly clear to the other woman. Maura responded by clamping her thighs together.
"I..." Jane had no idea what to say about her behavior.
"You don't have to explain."
"We should get out of here," Jane's eyes remained on Maura.
"Yes." Which question was she answering?
One last unexpected movement surprised the doctor. Rather that pull her hand away quickly, before finding the steering wheel she grazed Maura's inner thigh from where she'd been stopped by her best friend to the place on the inside of her knee, slowly. She then felt a twinge of disappointment when she pulled away.
They had only spoken of the case as they drove back to the precinct before parting to their separate tasks upon arriving. Confusion and a touch of anticipation followed them both.
…
Jane had forgotten that today was the first visit of the medical students from BU when she had asked Susie Chang for the doctor's whereabouts. She had to refrain from sprinting to the Division One Cafe to find her.
Walking in she saw the M.E. standing at a table surrounded by students. Their eyes met. For a moment a shared recognition coupled with the reminder of their experience in the cruiser earlier created sparks.
Maura continued speaking to the students, watching with frustration as the detective's dark ponytail could be seen above the heads of the cafe customers as it slowly disappeared from view.
"If you'll excuse me for a moment," Maura spoke as her body was already on the move.
She was in the lobby, heading toward the elevators, when she saw Jane nearing the door to the stairs. She closed the space and opened the door to find Jane on the first step of the stairwell.
"Jane."
Turning toward the doctor, she couldn't help but smile in Maura's presence.
"It was nothing. No updates," she tilted her head in an apologetic manner.
"I know."
This brought a skeptical eyebrow raise out of the cop. She stepped down to the landing to stop towering over the doctor.
"You would have interrupted if something had come up," she stepped closer. "What's up?"
"I..." Jane began fidgeting with her hands.
"Does your hand hurt?" Maura was immediately concerned, reaching out to take it before Jane had time to respond.
"No—" she looked down at how gently Maura was touching her scarred hand and that familiar warmth was there again. "Oh, to hell with it."
Without warning she had leaned in and pressed her lips to Maura's. She felt the doctor's breath catch before hearing it, then was pleasantly surprised when her lips parted. Jane progressed the kiss, slipping her tongue into the warm, enticing cavern. It was intoxicating. The kiss came to an end yet they did not move.
"How am I supposed to go back to the students after that?" Maura's whisper tickled Jane's lips.
Jane chuckled before pulling back, Maura still holding her hand.
"I'm just glad you didn't run out on me," she said.
"You don't know by now that I would never do that?" she gave Jane's hand a squeeze.
"I didn't know if I would be pushing my luck."
Bringing the detective's hand up to her mouth, she pressed a kiss to the back whilst smiling at her friend.
"That could never possibly be the case."
Maura was both flirtatious and sincere.
They both knew the med students couldn't be kept waiting much longer. When the touch did cease if felt like an unbearable loss.
"Let me know if there are updates," Maura said followed by Jane nodding. "Or if there is anything else."
Jane smirked at the innuendo.
…
It had been three days since she had kissed Maura. It wasn't that they were avoiding it, they weren't. They had spent time together, but their casual flirting hadn't resulted in any kind of in-depth conversation.
It wasn't until a late night several days after The Kiss that they began the conversation that would be instrumental in their coming together.
Jane had been trying to clear her mind for over an hour. She needed the sleep, but couldn't shut down to actually get any. Frustrated, she reached for her phone on the nightstand.
You up?
Maura put down her book and leaned against her headboard to respond.
Yes, Jane.
What are you doing?
I was reading. Why are you up?
Can't sleep. What is it you call it? The monkey mind?
What is it you're thinking about?
Sure you want to know?
Of course I do. Maybe I can help.
Sighing before gathering her courage, Jane tapped out an honest answer.
You. I've been thinking about you.
This made Maura smile despite the simultaneous butterflies in her stomach as well as slight dread.
Can I help? Clearly something is bothering you.
Maur...
Should we have talked about it when it happened? Would that have helped? I'm sorry you're losing sleep over it.
I want to do it again.
This was not at all the reply Maura expected.
Oh. That wasn't what I thought you would say.
And now that I've said it?
I am intrigued.
Intrigued? I've intrigued the brilliant Dr. Isles?
Flattery will get you everywhere.
Now that I'm at it... You're a really good kisser.
Jane?
Yes?
Kiss me again.
Really? When?
Whenever you would like.
You might have just made it even more difficult for me to sleep.
Or really good dreams...
Maura!
Admit it, you laughed.
I did.
Can you sleep now?
I think so.
I'll be here if you can't. Any hour.
I won't wake you.
You know you can.
You're wonderful, you know that?
You're full of compliments tonight.
What can I say? 'Night, Maur.
Goodnight.
Jane went to sleep with the thought of kissing Maura on her mind. She had no idea what was to come or just how far that single kiss would take them.
…
Standing at the mirror Jane was also reminded of the day Maura announced that she was leaving the Office of the Medical Examiner. It had shocked Jane and had sent ripples through the BPD.
She shook her head, forcing the thought from her mind while making her way to the bedroom where she found Maura sitting on the bed.
"I thought maybe you'd decided to go back to sleeping in the guest bedroom," Maura had been light-hearted until she looked up and saw Jane's face. "What's wrong?"
"I'm fine... It's just... God," Jane sighed loudly before sitting at the foot of the bed. "I never thought I'd be the one who couldn't stand keeping my personal life a secret."
Maura scooted down and reached a hand out to cover the detective's.
"It won't always be this way. I won't always be new to running the day-to-day operations of the foundation. I wish I had considered the implications of my facilitating donations to BPD while you and I are—" she was cut off.
"Are what, Maur? What are we? If we can't tell people, if we can't be ourselves, are we anything at all? Is this hopeless?" Jane's frustration had Maura nearing tears. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."
"You don't have to apologize," Maura moved closer. "If anything, I should apologize."
Jane looked up with those big, dark eyes, shaking her head.
"I can always quit."
"What? No. You love what you're doing," Jane gave a gentle squeeze to Maura's hand.
"We can do different jobs. If anything this has taught me that being a pathologist isn't the only thing I can do," the doctor turned her body and leaned back into waiting arms.
"But you miss it, right?" Jane knew the answer.
"I do. But how will I ever know what I'm capable of if I don't try?
Jane loved holding Maura like this. She was transported back to the first time they did this and it meant more:
When Maura arrived Jane knew something had happened. The doctor's eyes were the picture of sadness.
"What's going on?" Jane went into the kitchen where she found an open bottle of white wine in the fridge from the night before.
"Thanks," Maura took the glass Jane poured.
"Want to talk about it?" the detective nodded toward the couch and made her way over.
"It's not going to work," came the soft answer behind her. "Jack."
"I was kind of wondering if that wasn't the case."
They sat next to each other with a comfort and ease that neither had ever felt with anyone else.
"I'm sorry, Maur," Jane put her glass down so she could open her arms to the doctor.
Wisps of brown and gold- tickled her nose as Maura leaned back.
"Can I ask you something without fear I'll offend you?" Jane was surprised by the question.
"Offend me? You're kidding, right? What is it?" she pulled the doctor tight against her chest.
"Do you think we'll ever find anyone who can give us what we give each other?"
Maura took another drink of her wine as she waited for Jane's answer.
"Tell me why you thought you'd offend me and then I'll answer the question."
Tilting her head to the side, she wanted to see Jane's face before proceeding. She knew every line of that face.
"I don't want you to think that in some way you are a fallback."
"Hmm... I think I understand what you're saying. I can't speak for you, Maur. For me? I—" she took a breath, emotions suddenly right near the surface.
"What is it?" turning in Jane's arms, Maura could see the tears threatening.
"You're everything I could ever need."
"Jane..." a hand to a cheek felt like electricity
"We don't have to talk about it. I don't know what you will or won't find. I just want you to be happy."
Not wanting to make her friend uncomfortable, she merely smiled before leaning back into loving arms.
…
The clock read 5:57. She had 3 minutes until Maura's alarm clock would go off. She loved these stolen moments when she could watch without restraint.
She went over in her mind their conversation from the night before. It hurt. But it hurt to not have Maura, too. She had spent years wanting something she couldn't have. She spent years watching her best friend, her real love with men that weren't even in her league. How could it hurt when she finally had the woman she loved?
"Hey..." Maura mumbled as her eyes slowly opened.
"Hi."
"How much time do we have?" Maura yawned as she snuggled up against Jane.
"A couple minutes. Not long," Jane pressed a kiss to a mess of tawny hair.
"Did being with Jack feel anything like being with me?" the question seemed to come out of nowhere despite the doctor sensing Jane had been awake and thinking for some time.
"No, I wouldn't say, no, definitely not," she responded. "Why?"
"I wish it could be like that," the detective reached over Maura for the phone on the nightstand, sliding across the flat screen and turning off the alarm like someone with plenty of practice.
"I don't understand," she withdrew a bit to get a look at Jane's often revealing face.
"Everybody knew. Not like this—living for the day, you know?" the sadness in the cop's voice was palpable.
"You want to be able to say that you're in love," Maura stated with certainty.
"Is that wrong?"
"Not at all," her hand found Jane's hip and urged her closer.
"It feels like stolen moments. God…this isn't like me at all. I'm never this dramatic," she rolled her eyes.
Sitting up, a hand on Jane's shoulder, the M.E. looked down at the dejected woman. It broke her heart that a decision she made had continued to cause them both so much pain. The pain was unequivocally mutual.
She wanted so badly to take away her friend's pain. The last time she felt so utterly useless and weak in the face of a broken-hearted Jane was a dark day in their shared history:
"Jane?" she walked into the apartment and didn't initially see the woman she had been calling on the phone and not reaching for the last hour. "Where are you?"
Then she heard it. The strangled sob gave away the detective's location on the floor in the kitchen.
"Oh, Jane," she quickly made her way to the woman, leaving her purse and phone on the counter. "Come here."
She knelt next to Jane, bringing her to her chest. She held her head there, wiping back waves of hair and tears.
Seeing this incredibly strong, undeniable force so broken brought tears to her eyes. Still in her black dress, Jane's long legs were straight out in front of her. In her lap was the postcard Barry had sent. Holding it tenderly in her hand, Maura allowed the tears to travel rapidly down her own face.
Sensing the emotional tumult in the doctor, Jane pulled at Maura, her hands now grasping hips as if her very existent depended on her closeness to another being.
Maura allowed herself to be moved, ending up sitting in Jane's lap.
"It's okay," she whispered, kissing Jane's head tenderly.
There weren't words. There was nothing left to say about the heart-wrenching day they had endured. There would be very little that would help them deal with the absolute loss of Detective Frost. They could only hope to go on in a way that would make him proud.
"We'll get through this," Maura's murmurs were merely an attempt to soothe Jane. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm never going anywhere."
That night, sitting on Jane's lap, she realized how difficult it would be if they lost one another. They couldn't. And if this new arrangement in their professional and personal lives meant there was a greater chance that they would lose one another, she wouldn't have it. The chance they might lose each other was too damn high as it was. Jane was a homicide detective. The risks of her job couldn't be understated.
"Maur?" Jane's voice broke through. "Where'd you go?"
"Sorry, I was thinking. It's not important."
She dropped her hand from Jane's shoulders, flipped away the covers and fetched her slippers.
"We better get up," she reached for her phone, avoiding Jane's eyes on her.
As she stood up, a hand found hers and held her in place. Piercing brown orbs trapped her in their snare.
"I love you, you know?" the detective said.
A weight fell from Maura and she allowed herself to smile. She pressed a kiss to the hand that held hers.
"I have never doubted it."
…
"She knows," the doctor said from the step stool in her closet, her back to Jane.
"What?" Jane stopped carrying on about work.
"Your mother, she knows."
Maura had Jane's undivided attention.
"Did she ask you?" the lanky detective was leaning against the doorframe.
"No, I think it has to do with Sergeant Simmons," the M.E. put out her hand for help down.
"What the hell does Simmons have to do with it?" Jane obliged and Maura sat on the ottoman she used to get dressed.
"Nina hear him talking. He saw us that night, Jane."
Neither woman needed further explanation. They both know when it happened.
"God, Maur," she joined the woman on the ottoman. "I couldn't help myself. You were in that gorgeous turquoise dress and I wanted you. I wanted to kiss you on that street."
By now waves of hair fell over Jane's shoulder as Maura rested her head there. Tears were forming in her eyes. She felt the same way. That night at the art installation opening, they may as well have been the only two people there for how drawn they were to one another. It was a beautiful night.
"I wanted that, too," the doctor let the tears fall.
The taller woman pressed a kiss to the side of the head on her shoulder and sat in silence.
"What do we do now?" came the soft and sad voice.
"About which?" Maura assumed the biggest issue here was the fact that Angela knew about them or perhaps that Nina knew and presumably Frankie. "We can certainly tell Simmons—"
"To shut his fucking mouth?" Jane cut her off.
"Well, yes, that. And your mother?" she smiled at the cop's ability to say exactly what she meant.
"I don't know, Maur. I don't regret it. I am not ashamed. If I had it to do over a hundred times, every one of those times I would have pulled you into my arms and kissed you that night. If I can't imagine having done anything else, it must have been the right thing."
By now they both had tears in their eyes and were holding one another tightly.
"That's exactly what we tell your mother."
…
Detective Rizzoli walked into a bullpen that was arranged exactly like that of Homocide's, but was on the floor one down from theirs. She spotted the Robbery cop.
"Simmons, got a second?" she spoke over the department noise.
"Sure, what's up?" he said in a smarmy voice as he followed her into the hallway.
She grabbed him by his jacket and pushed him hard against the brick wall.
"What the hell, Rizzoli!" he attempted to push back, but she had him pinned.
"You got a problem with me?" she barked. "You got a problem with my personal life?"
Realization dawned on the sergeant's face. He knew exactly why she was angry.
"No, no," he backed down. "No problem."
"No, not what I hear," she didn't back down. "You got a problem with me, I suggest you shut your damn mouth."
With that she released him convinced she had made her point clearly. He muttered profanities as he walked back to the bullpen.
She straightened her own blazer and turned toward the elevator. She was fixed in place when the face she saw when she looked up was none other than her mother, the bag of sandwich deliveries on her arm. Angela has a bit of a smirk on her face, something Jane wasn't sure how to read. She approached her mom with unease.
Handing a sandwich to Jane, Angela leaned in and said: "You tell that bastard, Janie."
Jane's mouth was agape as her mother continued on her sandwich delivery route. Her mother never cursed. And what she said came with the same casualness as it would have had she told Jane what kind of sandwich she was having for lunch.
…
They were walking hand in hand as they entered the dark, loud bar. It was their second and final night in Chicago. Jane was still shocked she was able to get away with Maura for this. The department had been swamped with cases for weeks and she had been putting in major overtime. When the event in Chicago came up, even Maura was surprised when by the announcement that she'd be going with.
"Wow, the floor is actually shaking in this place," Jane shouted over the noise.
"Shots," Maura signaled with two fingers. "Tequila."
Jane spoke with her raised eyebrows.
When the shots were placed in front of them, Maura didn't wait. The burning liquid disappeared down her throat. Jane's eyes followed.
"You going to catch up?" Maura grinned.
Jane did exactly that.
On the dance floor, the music was even louder and the energy frenetic. It didn't take long for the gorgeous brunette to pull the doctor into the fray. Maura's hips had unquantifiable power over Jane.
"Maur..." strong hands gripped gyrating hips. "Not a soul in this room is looking at anything but your ass."
Maura turned her body, her shoulder blades meeting unrestrained breasts. When she turned again she met Jane's eyes with a stare that made the detective weak and damn near set her ablaze.
Her inhibitions disappeared in the dark of the bar. Jane's lips were on those that tempted her every moment of their shared existence. She kissed like she danced—carelessly and with a hint of aggression.
…
She had a bit of a headache. The quantity of alcohol they had consumed while at the bar hadn't been metabolized despite the amount of dancing they had done and the water she had attempted to counter the dehydration with when they got home.
She sat on the chaise; the hotel room was quiet save for the sound of Jane's breathing. They had collapsed on the bed not long after arriving.
The last time she sat alone at this late hour, nothing but Jane on her mind, was a darker time.
She spent 24 hours certain Jane wouldn't survive. She spent 24 hours terrified and simultaneously pissed. Jane had been irrational, impulsive and selfish. When they pulled Jane out of the harbor, Maura couldn't stand to be in her presence. The last and only other time she had felt that way was after her best friend shot her father-her biological father.
Maura was in so deep. She realized it when she saw Jane emerge from that boat, wrapped in an emergency blanket. It was yet another event that made her die a little bit more inside.
She was, without a doubt, in nearly unbearable pain. She loved this woman with her entire being, but they couldn't be together.
"Maur?" Jane rolled over in the dark and realized her friend was no longer in the bed they had been sharing.
"I'm here."
She had been sitting in the corner of the bedroom, staring out into the darkness of the neighborhood.
"What are you doing?" Jane pulled herself upright.
"Thinking," she answered. "Go back to sleep."
"Not if you can't sleep."
Flipping the blankets off of her body, Jane patted the bed.
"Come here," she asked.
Maura did as asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. She rubbed her face, exhausted yet lost in her own mind.
"I'm sorry," Jane whispered, a hand finding the bare shoulder of the troubled woman. "I was wrong to follow him in. I never should have left you to worry, to fear the worst. It was selfish. I'm an asshole."
Tears were traveling down Maura's cheeks. She agreed, of course. The apology didn't make it hurt any less.
"You're right," she turned to her apologetic friend. "You should have thought about who you were hurting."
Leaning in, wrapping lanky arms around the medical examiner, she pressed her forehead against Maura's temple.
"I will apologize everyday for the rest of our lives."
Maura took a deep breath in attempt to stifle a sob.
"Not only for this," she murmured. "You had to watch me pull the trigger, ripping apart my own body. I'm sorry, Maur, so sorry."
They both were in tears.
"Let's go to sleep. Tomorrow will be better."
The detective took the cue, lying down and opening her arms to the shorter woman. They settled in, fitting together perfectly. The tears stilled, the heartache lessened and they fell asleep.
The dancing with no inhibitions, the way their bodies still fit so perfectly together—she couldn't stop those thoughts from playing back in her mind tonight. But she also couldn't keep that same busy mind from traveling back to that dark night when she felt to her very bones the kind of pain Jane could cause her.
There was so much love between them, but there was the potential for so much pain. She had to do something to tip the balance.
…
Frankie nodded toward the door once he caught his sister's attention. She looked up and was surprised to see Maura. It had been a week or more since the former M.E. had graced the bullpen though she had stopped by the morgue to speak to Kent about equipment a few days back. Jane was happy to see her.
"Jane? Do you have a moment?" she was serious, but her eyes were smiling.
"Hey, Maura," Frankie stood and gave her a side hug with a kiss on the cheek.
"Hi, Frank," she had come to think of him as her own brother despite the once awkwardness in their friendship when he was attracted to her.
The other Detective Rizzoli stood and gestured toward the conference room where the blinds were closed on the glass doors. Jane held the door for the doctor and waited for her to take a seat at the conference table.
"What's up?" she asked.
"I'm returning to the Office of the Medical Examiner. We have yet to work out the details of when and in what capacity, but Kent has made it clear he would rather not continue in the acting supervisory role should I return."
"What?" Jane was having trouble processing.
"My mother will be returning to the foundation and this is best. She and my father are separating."
"Way to bury the lead! What happened?" she leaned against the table, reaching out a hand to take Maura's.
"One affair too many?" came the brief, terse response.
"God, Maura. I'm sorry. I know the strain this put on your relationship with your father. And your poor mother," she said. "Your mother is moving to Boston then?"
Maura shook her head, adjusting her skirt and further entwining her fingers in Jane's.
"As I understand it, she will split time between Paris and Boston with regular trips to New York. I assume she'll get an apartment or condo here."
"You're really coming back?" brown eyes looked into hazel to ask more than that question alone.
"If this is okay with you? I didn't get a chance to call before agreeing to my mother's proposal."
"Are you kidding me?" Jane got down to one knee to be near Maura. "Do you have any idea how happy this makes me? I can see you anytime I want and work cases with you again."
Maura smiled at Jane's sincerity.
"It could have other implications as well..." she intimated.
There was nothing the woman who had literally been brought to her knees could say. Instead she leaned up and have her a soft, loving kiss. When they parted, the doctor looked around at their surroundings.
"Will this be a one-time occurrence or a regular happening?" she whispered.
"I think you know the answer to that."
The smile on Maura's face lit up the room.
...
The two women stood kissing in the kitchen. The taller of the two had her back against the countertop and her arms wrapped around the low back of the woman pressed against her. The kiss was playful, not necessarily a prologue to something more.
They barely heard the side door open due to the roaring heartbeats in their ears and the occasional sigh, gasp or moan.
"Good morning, girls," they ceased kissing and released one another as Angela casually entered, heading straight for the fridge where she put away the recently purchased produce. "I decided on a pasta primavera for dinner tonight."
Simultaneously Jane and Maura's eyebrows rose as they looked at each other in disbelief.
"Did Frankie say if he and Nina were coming, Jane?" she asked. "Vince and Keke said seven would be good for them."
"Ma?" Jane finally spoke.
"Oh, don't mind me. I wanted to get the vegetables in the crisper and grab the recipe for the chocolate cake Frankie loves."
What could Angela's daughter say to that?
"Here it is!" she held up the recipe card. "Is seven good for you, Maura?"
"Umm..." Dr. Isles remained flummoxed by what was happening. "Yes?"
"Good," the matriarch made her way to the door, waving as she let herself out.
Jane looked at Maura. Maura shrugged her shoulders in complete confusion.
"What the hell just happened?" Jane finally voiced what they were both thinking.
"We made out in front of your mother." Maura was equally matter-of-fact and aghast.
"That's..." Jane had no explanation.
"A first?" the blonde finished the statement.
"I didn't think Ma could surprise me anymore. I was clearly wrong."
Confounded yet compartmentalizing, Maura pulled Jane to her by the leather belt of her jeans.
And the kissing resumed.
…
"Welcome back, Dr. Isles," Kent's accent was actually something she had missed.
"Thank you. And thank you for serving as the acting chief in my absence. I understand that Dr. Pike was more of an impediment than a support. I will address that with him."
Kent raised and eyebrow and then smiled at that last bit.
"Detective Rizzoli?" he confirmed.
"Who else?" Maura smiled. Jane's relationship with Pike was notoriously fraught with head butting.
The doctor walked into her office for the first time in six months. It was bittersweet. She was glad to be back to the office and people she loved, but she would miss being at the helm of the foundation.
"Well if it isn't the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts."
She turned around at that familiar rasp. Jane sounded the least like any native Bostonian the doctor had heard.
"If you were hoping to be the first to welcome me back, you're too late. Kent beat you to it."
"Bastard," Jane's dimples made an appearance.
All the doctor could do was laugh. She was suddenly overtaken by a wave of unmistakable happiness.
"I'm glad you're back, Maur," the detective took a step in and pressed a kiss to the woman's cheek.
Their phones simultaneously rang. Jane could do nothing but smile.
"Rizzoli."
"Isles."
"Body on the docks. This should be interesting," Detective Rizzoli was already preparing in her mind for the scene even before she had hung up the phone.
Maura, on the other hand, was somewhere else entirely.
"Hey, Jane?" she caught the woman's attention before she got to the door.
"Yeah?" she stopped, waiting for the M.E. to gather her things.
Stepping toward the tall, gorgeous cop, she didn't hold back. She pressed her lips hard to the now intimately familiar ones of her best friend, the woman she was meant to be with. There was nothing subtle about it.
"Umm?" Jane breathed as they parted. "We may need to set some boundaries."
"I realize that," her face was radiant, her smile contagious. "But I needed you to know what I felt just then when our phones rang and when I saw you go into badass mode."
"Badass mode?" her eyebrow quirked.
"You know exactly what I mean."
Jane may be a badass, but Maura was a professional tease. The innuendo was veiled by nothing. It made Detective Rizzoli weak in the knees.
Yes, boundaries.
…
Sitting at the immaculately decorated table in the Robber, of all places, Jane had her arm around Maura who was laughing at Korsak's toast to the newlyweds. Neither woman could remember being this happy.
And it wasn't even their wedding.
The music began, a song that only Frankie and Nina would find fitting for a first dance. Nina was radiant. Her sleeveless, flowing gown contrasting with her perfect skin tone was a breathtaking sight. The younger Rizzoli still had the evidence of tears on his face. He was that kind of groom. Jane had never seen her brother like this. He was over the moon.
The room stood still as the couple began their dance. Nina laughed at Frankie's jokes, he swooned at the looks she gave him and they may as well have been the only two people in the room for as little notice they were giving to everyone else.
Slowly couples began taking the dance floor. Ron and Angela, Vince and Keke, and Tommy and his new girlfriend Maggie fanned out in the cozy space. When Jane looked at Maura, holding out her hand, the love she had for the doctor was written all over her face. They melted into an embrace as they entered the fray, swaying with the music.
"I've never seen Frankie so happy," Jane spoke softly.
"I've never seen you so happy," Maura smiled. "Is not having to hide this the reason or Frankie and Nina?"
Placing her forehead to the shorter woman's, she felt her emotions rising in her throat. She couldn't deny how happy she was.
"Both."
There was little space between them and like Frankie and Nina as they took the dance floor, the world around them faded away.
"I'm yours," she rasped.
Hearing those two words caused emotions to bubble up in Maura, too. She couldn't remember ever being this in love. She couldn't remember ever feeling like she was meant to be with someone until Jane.
Without the proper words to acknowledge Jane's statement, really any words coming to her, the M.E. let her lips speak silently. It was a tender and sweet kiss.
"Come on, Janie. You're showing me up," came Frank's voice as he and Nina danced near the two women.
"That was all Maura, I'll have you know," Jane said and the doctor smirked.
"Well, I guess I'll let it slide," he winked at Maura.
"She gets a pass? Don't you fall for her charm."
"At least she has some!" the song had changed, the tempo picked up and he was now twirling his wife.
Putting out a long arm, she playfully shoved her younger brother.
"You're lucky it's your wedding day, guy," they all laughed at the exchange.
The mood and the tempo changed in the room, no longer a crowd of sappy wedding-goers, but a celebratory family. Eventually the Rizzoli brothers would take their turns laughing while attempting to lead their sister or Maura around the dance floor. The laughing increased in volume when Nina threw the bouquet and Angela caught it. She immediately threw it right back.
They danced long into the night, long after Frankie and Nina left the venue. If it hadn't been Korsak's bar, Jane and Maura probably would have been asked to leave they were there so late.
For the first time in their friendship, there were no secrets.
-finis-