Luau M7 ATF AU
"I can't believe Miz Travis talked me into this!" mumbled Nathan Jackson, ATF Team Seven's forensics tech as he looked down at the brightly colored Aloha shirt he wore and the ukulele in his hands. "How'd she even find out I could play, anyway?"
JD Dunne, attired in a similar shirt, dropped his head guiltily. "Umm… I might'a had something to do with that Nathan." he muttered softly.
When the dark eyes turned to him, along with the gazes of the rest of the team, the electronics tech shrugged his shoulders in apology. "The judge was tellin' us about the Hawaiian-themed charity event Mrs. Travis was co-chairing, and I leaned over to whisper to Vin that Nathan's 'Hidden Talent' would fit right in. Guess the A.D. overheard me…"
He looked up at the medic. "I'm really sorry Nathan. I know the stuff we shared was just supposed to be between us."
Jackson's broad shoulders shrugged as he replied.
"That's ok, JD. At least there aren't five hundred people at this one."
Vin Tanner peeked out through the door at the crowd gathering in the decorated convention hall.
"Nope, just a hundred or so."
A few groans escaped the rest of Team Seven, who were similarly attired in festive island wear. Even Chris sported an Aloha shirt, though he'd managed to find one in black with a simple white palm frond design in a wide stripe across the chest. The imposing blond was sucking on his teeth as the moment as he wondered like Nathan how he'd gotten himself into this.
Buck grinned. The explosives tech was wearing a blue ground shirt with an allover pattern of brightly colored parrots that somehow suited him.
"Don't sweat it, boys! The ladies are gonna love seein' us perform." He preened slightly as he warmed up his lips.
"You're the only one that makes feel any better, Bucklin! It's bad enough Nate's gotta play, but I'm not sure how the rest of us got drug into this…" muttered Vin in a combination of frustration and nervousness. He had his harmonica in hand and was driving Chris and Ezra to distraction by blowing tunelessly on it to try to calm himself down.
"Tanner, you play anything else that isn't a real tune, and I'm gonna shove that harmonica so far up your ass that you'll play Dixie when you fart!" growled Larabee as Vin once again blew absently into the slim instrument.
Which of course only caused the sniper to make a few more discordant sounds just to annoy his best friend and team leader.
Ezra reached to grab a handful of the tan and green Hawaiian shirt that Vin wore with one hand and the harmonica with the other.
"Mr. Larabee, I'll hold him down while you perform the harmonica insertion. One more note that sounds like the wind blowin' or a bird chirpin' and I will be moved to murder and mayhem! This event is nerve wrackin' enough as it is."
Josiah moved to intervene before some real damage was done by someone.
"Now, now brothers. We have to show a united front if we're going to get through this without totally embarrassing ourselves. We need everybody, so no murder and mayhem until we're done!"
The embroiled trio kept to their poses for a moment, then Standish released Tanner and Chris reluctantly gave back the harmonica that he'd taken from the undercover agent.
"Sorry, Vin. Just… not much makes me nervous, but this does." apologized Chris.
"It's ok, Cowboy. Me, too. I don't even like speakin' to large crowds, much less this."
Ezra moved to straighten the uncharacteristic black shirt with its pattern of playing cards he wore.
"I can manage most activities in front of an audience with equanimity, but I must confess that this scenario makes me a bit uneasy as well."
Josiah nodded in agreement.
"It'd be different if we'd had more than a few weeks to practice, but I'm convinced I'm gonna sound like a cat with its tail in a wringer."
JD twirled his drumsticks and bounced with excitement.
"Ah, come on guys! It'll be fun. It's like bein' in a real band. I always wanted to be in one, but didn't have time between school, work, and taking care of Mom."
Jackson strummed lightly on his uke as he answered Dunne.
"Maybe fun for you JD, but all you've gotta do is keep the rhythm. Vin, Ez and I have to actually do the tune."
"Yeah, and three of you aren't singin'… what happens if we all sound like Josiah's cats?" asked Larabee as he took a sip of water to moisten his suddenly dry throat. He could just picture himself either squeaking or growling when he was supposed to be making music.
Wilmington reached to pat his old friend on the shoulder.
"You and me have sung together before, Pard. Ain't nothin' to it."
"Perhaps not for you, Mr. Wilmington. However the rest of us don't make a habit of serenading our paramours with Elvis tunes or Jimmy Buffet renditions." commented Ezra as he frowned in concentration at the portable keyboard he had on a stand in front of him.
"Yeah, Buck. And singin' 'I've Got Friends in Low Places' when we were shitfaced in the Navy doesn't really count as a performance." added Chris with a sigh.
"You were pretty good with 'Amarillo by Mornin'' said Buck with a grin. Chris really did have a nice tenor, but admittedly they had been drunk most of the time they'd done any singing together, so Wilmington figured things were probably pretty hazy for Larabee on a lot of the occasions. Hell… they were a little fuzzy for him in regard to a few instances!
"And singing along to the radio on road trips doesn't really count either." Josiah interjected. The profiler had a nice deep baritone, but hadn't done much singing in front of an audience except on hymns in church when his dad was a missionary, so he wasn't convinced that 'caterwauling' wasn't what was going to come out when he tried this time.
Standish riffled over the keys in a display of nervous energy.
"And none of you are both playin' an instrument and singin'. I have to concentrate on not makin' a mistake in two areas, not just one." groused the southern tones. It was a sign of his stress that his drawl was even thicker than usual, as was Vin's.
JD tried again.
"It's just for fun, guys! It's not like we're getting paid for it. And we sounded pretty good the last couple of rehearsals."
Buck rolled his eyes at the electronics tech and swatted at the newsboy cap the younger man had on backward over his orange flowered Aloha shirt.
"The stuff you listen to Kid, how would you know what sounds good?"
"At least I don't listen to elevator music!" defended Dunne with a theatrical shiver. Actually he liked some of the songs that his older companions listened to, but they ragged him so much over his rap and hip hop that he wasn't inclined to admit it.
Wilmington's dark brows drew together in a frown.
"That's 'classic' music, Kid!"
Even Ezra had to agree. "Indeed, my young friend. I enjoy many kinds of musical venues, but I prefer mine played at a decibel that doesn't burst the eardrums and that doesn't contain screeching or continuous profanities. If that makes it 'elevator music' to you, then so be it."
That had actually been one of the hurdles they'd faced when they were trying to pick out a song to do for the charity event Nathan had been drafted for. The medic had basically refused to perform alone so JD had decided they should form a Magnificent Seven Band. However they all liked different kinds of music, so it was a bit of a challenge to find something they could all agree on that they thought they could actually do justice to.
Ezra was the most eclectic of the group, listening to and enjoying a variety of genres. Buck was probably actually second, since the ladies' man liked Elvis, Jimmy Buffet, classic Southern rock, and country. Josiah listened to several genres as well, but was drawn to jazz and folk music particularly, which made JD plug his ears when the profiler was singing along to his old cassette player in the Suburban. The youngest of the team liked 'modern' stuff, which the others claimed wasn't music at all. Chris and Vin were mostly country and old-time rock with a little bluegrass and native American thrown in, while Nathan usually listened to R&B and some of Josiah's jazz, though he actually liked some of the old rock and even country as well.
After much discussion, since it was a Hawaiian-themed event, they'd decided on Elvis' 'I Can't Help Falling in Love With You' from Blue Hawaii. Buck had done Elvis songs since he was a teenager living in Vegas, so he was elected to do the main part of the lyrics, while Chris, Ezra, and Josiah provided backup. The instrumental part was easy enough for Nathan, JD, Vin, and Ezra to do and Wilmington had assured them that the women would swoon over the romantic ballad.
The ladies' man took a glance through the door and then waved at the other six.
"Alright boys, looks like we're up! Let's give 'em hell!"
The handsome brunet strode out the door, followed more slowly by the rest of the 'band'.
The last thing any of them heard before they hit the make-shift stage was Vin muttering "More like in hell…" as they filed out.
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As it turned out, the ladies did more than swoon when the seven good-looking men climbed up on the stage that was decorated with potted palms, silk hibiscus and orchid flowers, and a beach backdrop.
At Buck's beginning "Wise men say…" the women started hooting and whistling. By the first chorus where Chris, Ezra, and Josiah joined in, they were jostling to get closer and swaying along to the words with dreamy expressions on their faces. At the "I can't help, falling in love with you" line someone called "I'm in love with all of you!" The reactions only got more enthusiastic as the song went on.
The men actually had good voices and the casual shirts with the top buttons undone and the gorgeous bodies in the tight jeans and cowboy boots were just an added bonus. Watching Chris, Buck, and Josiah move to the rather seductive music seemed to ratchet up the heat, since a number of ladies started fanning themselves and panting.
The last chorus induced a confetti shower of slips of paper with names and phone numbers written on them, women trying to climb on the impromptu stage, and a couple of items of ladies underwear being tossed that they hoped hadn't just been pulled off while they played. JD was blushing, Buck was purring like an alley cat, and Vin looked like he was about to swallow his harmonica when a lady reached up and grabbed his behind. Ezra had to disentangle himself from a woman who had climbed under his keyboard stand, Josiah was trying to decide if a buxom brunette calling "take it off!" was flattering or not, and Nathan had just invented some fancy footwork to avoid a lady who was unbuttoning her blouse right in front of him. Even Chris' normally dangerous aura wasn't protecting him, a blonde in a tight blue sundress doing movements that he thought probably constituted indecent exposure!
When they finished the song and tried to leave the stage, they were blocked by a wall of women calling "encore"… and a few other things that made them glad there were no kids present.
Since they couldn't leave at the moment, they acceded to the ladies' demands. They'd practiced a couple of songs before they decided on the Elvis one, so it being Colorado, Chris made a motion to Buck and the group started a rendition of Willy and Waylon's 'Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys' that nearly literally took the house down. Over fifty women were dancing to the song and singing along, stomping their feet and clapping in time to the music. Bits of plaster actually fell from the ceiling on the shoulders of the crowd at the commotion. Evie Travis was beaming delightedly since the donations were coming fast and furious and her husband was trying to placate the male attendees and stop the more determined of the women who were trying to rush the stage at the same time. Some of the men in the audience gave money just so they could get their dates and leave before the ladies did something their escorts would regret!
Team Seven had to circle the wagons and stand back to back on the stage to keep from getting groped and ending up bruised in places that shouldn't be black and blue. It took the Judge and Mrs. Travis half an hour to finally coax the remaining women away from the dais so that the team could get down without being mauled by infatuated audience members.
Thankful to escape, the seven made their way to the back room. Buck was happily chortling as he flipped through the stack of phone numbers he held, while the rest just looked relieved they hadn't lost any body parts.
Wilmington looked up and beamed.
"Well boys, that's what it was like to be Elvis."
"Some 'a them women definitely wanted to go 'Way On Down'." opined Josiah as he gingerly felt of his throbbing butt where the 'take it off' lady had given him a pinch.
"That redhead that climbed under the keyboard sure had Ez 'All Shook Up'." offered Vin with a bob of his eyebrows.
"Well Mr. Tanner, I believe that lady who grabbed your posterior wanted "A Little Less Conversation and a Lot More Action." responded Standish even as he shifted a bit uncomfortably from where the auburn-haired admirer had grabbed him when she tried to stand up.
"Ol' Chris didn't look like he knew what to do when that blonde started gyratin'!" laughed Buck as he winked at his oldest friend.
JD grinned. "I think they call that 'twerking' now!"
"Whatever it was, all I could think was 'Why Me, Lord?'." offered Larabee with a sigh. Not that he didn't appreciate women, but some of those ladies reminded him more of piranha!
Nathan was rubbing the ankle he'd twisted trying to avoid the woman who had obviously wanted to dirty dance with him.
"Well, I know one thing… if I get another invitation to a luau, I'm markin' it 'Return to Sender'!" he mumbled.
The others stood a minute and then burst out laughing.
"At least if we see any of those women again, we'll know what they are." offered Vin with a wink.
Walking into the parking lot where several screaming feminine figures waited for them, the seven voices started singing "You're the Devil in Disguise" as they made a run for their vehicles.
Getting into the van they'd brought, Vin started blowing idly on his harmonica again. Seeing the expression on Chris' face, Ezra started singing the trilogy which always closed out Elvis' shows.
"Oh, I wish I was in Dixie… away, away…"
Larabee's smooth tenor joined in, green eyes giving Tanner a 'remember what I said' look that made the sniper suddenly decide to put his instrument away. Maybe he didn't really want to be playing Dixie after all!
By DMA