A/N: It's been awhile since I have given you guys a Linumi, so viola. I actually kinda liked writing this one to be honest despite how much I slacked off on finishing it. If you guys are interested in the novel mentioned here, it actually does exist! Well, this is VERY losely based on a fic that exists. It's by Bumi the Non-Bender and it goes by the same title. This story was basically a really nice writer letting me pick bits out of his fic to use for my own evil Linumi ends. I love the fic and the guy, so if you like pirates and Linumi I suggest giving it a peek. Leave him a review while you guys are there, it is simply criminal that thing isn't being shown more love.
PS: Anything Lin says like calling it a sappy romance or nonsense is her opinion not mine, I like it, isn't cheesy at all. I just can't see Lin taking a romance novel seriously. Hope you enjoy this Bumi. :D
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Lin was in one of those moods- one of those rare generous moods that decided after those officers on the nightshift had to answer the disturbance call that ended in them taking down a group of triad members, that they deserved some coffee. Lee followed behind her helping carry half of the orders and placing them on the center desk beside her load. The officers all seemed to flock over thanking her and gathering a cup each, except for Hiro shockingly. That man drank coffee instead of water it seemed, but rather than join the rest, he was huddled with four other men chuckling in the corner with their backs to her.
"Oh man...OOOH!"
"I can picture it! Why?!"
"This is the best! Could you imagine her as a pirate?!"
"What's going on here?!" The chief barked making all the men jump apart from each other looking as if she had caught them red handed with something illegal. "What's that?" She asked snatching the book that Hiro was holding and reading the title. Lin had blinked like an owl at the text before pulling a face. "You are seriously reading garbage during office hours?" She asked in complete disbelief.
"-But chief! You gotta to read this!" One of the other men cut in.
"I'm not reading some lousy romance novel about...pirates!"
"Chief, you are seriously g- is that coffee?" Hiro asked looking over her shoulder only to be brought back by officer Jun elbowing him in the side. "You need to read this, chief. You'll get a serious kick out of it."
"No, now drop it or I'll leave you on the city cleaning security unit." The older woman growled making them all shrink back at the thought of being stuck with the worst job a cop could have.
"Ma'am, if you read the first two chapters we'll buy you lunch for two months." Shinji, one of the greener and clearly not as smart junior officers cut in. At first the men gave each other calculating looks before nodding and holding out the book for her. "Just two chapters."
"We'll see. Now get back to work." Lin glared snatching the book with half a mind to throw it away, but the idea of bankrupting those slackers was too good to completely dismiss.
Several hours had passed and the book remained forgotten under some papers on her desk until a knock on her door brought in Hiro who presented her with a take out container filled with her favorite spicy chicken and rice followed by a wink and a reminder to consider reading the book. Chief Beifong had by now fully intended on buying expensive lunches that she probably wouldn't finish just to teach that cheeky oaf a lesson. One look at the cover made her roll her eyes. It showed the silhouette of what was clearly a pirate captain kissing a woman in uniform just like any sappy romance complete with the woman being slightly tilted back as if they were dancing. This was going to be painful she knew, but only two chapters and she would be ordering quality sushi.
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"So, you think she read it yet?" Shinji whispered as if she could somehow hear him behind a closed door all the way in the back of the station.
"WHAAAAAAT?!"
"That would be a 'yes'." the guy beside him shoved one last bite of his meal in his mouth before sitting up straight as the door in the back slammed open and a red faced chief stormed up to them.
"Who wrote this?! What the heck-?! HOW MANY PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THIS?!" Lin yelled absolutely mortified.
"It's some guy with a pen name I guess, it just hit the bookstores and is pretty popular in the romance novel community." Shinji winced at the tone in her voice.
"Cover my shift, I'm going to get to the bottom of this." Chief Beifong stormed out of the station on what was technically supposed to be her day off anyways to get her answers.
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The people of Air Temple Island were enjoying a quiet sunny day outside seeing as how the cold weather was finally gone and the airbenders could wear short sleeves again. Acolytes set up picnics and dragonfly rabbit spirits were playing around by swooping in circles when the ground began to quake. Tenzin stood up and looked out from the shady gazebo he was sitting under with Pema in time to be grabbed by his collar and yanked out.
"Where is your brother?" Lin asked in a quiet voice that made the airbending master's blood go cold. He recognizing her tone of voice as the 'I'm going to kill you' tone and instantly feared for his brother's life, wondering just what he did to tick off the woman so much.
"He's inside- wait Lin! What's this all about?" He asked running after her when she stormed off towards the house. "I'm sure whatever he did we can smooth this over non-violently."
"Can it airhead, your brother's going to get it this time."
"Linny! Hi sunshine, looking beautiful as always-" Bumi began with a smile only to be knocked in the head with a book. "Owww reading hurts." He grumbled rubbing his head in time to get hit in the arm.
"WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?! WHAT ON EARTH WOULD POSSESS YOU TO DO THIS?! HOW COULD YOU-?!" Lin sputtered punctuating each pause by hitting him with the soft covered book.
"OW! OOOW! It feels...like...a book!" He ducked under the onslaught, making Tenzin struggle to hold her back. "Yeesh, it's paper back but it feels hard covered." The wild man groaned.
"Lin what does this have to do with Bumi?" Tenzin asked only releasing her when he was sure she wouldn't go after his brother again.
"This sappy romance novel is what it has to do with it! Did you think I wouldn't realize you did this? 'The Commander'? Really?! It's actually in public! Floating around in public! Who did you hire to do this? It's clearly too well written for you to have done it yourself."
"Huh? I wrote what now?" he paused taking the book and reading the cover. "'To Plunder a Heart'. Oooh Lin, I didn't know you liked that type of thing." He wiggled a brow making her snatch the book out of his hands and hit him again.
"Lin! Bumi didn't write any books as you said, and he doesn't have the money to pay someone to do it-"
"-Hey! I have money!" Bumi retorted only to get a glare from his brother.
"Whoever did this we will figure it out, and settle this problem you have with a...romance novel?" Tenzin looked skeptical before Lin hit him with the book as well and stormed out stopping at the door to give Bumi a scathing look.
"I'm not done with you." She pointed a warning finger at him.
"Oh I love it when you talk dirty to me." Bumi growled before running to hide behind Tenzin when he saw her start to come back into the house. Lin gave one of her classic 'I'm watching you' gestures before slamming the door behind her. Once she was gone Bumi turned to his brother and smiled smugly. "See that? She's watching me." He gloated as Tenzin rolled his eyes and headed out as well.
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Not many knew it, but Asami Sato was a romance lover. She had a huge library, the majority of which was filled with poetry and love stories. Bumi overheard Bolin mention it to his brother when Mako had asked what Asami did all day when she wasn't going out for drives or working. After gliding to the gates, he began pelting down the lawn all the way to the door not even thinking that he could have just flown right to the door instead of running to it. He knocked three times before doubling over holding his hands on his knees as he struggled for breath.
"Hello?" Asami answered the door followed by Bolin who looked over her shoulder. "Are you alright?" She asked in a worried voice when the man was too tired to speak.
"b...b..." Was all that came out as the man gasped looking up at the two teenagers.
"Oh! Hang on Asami, I can speak 'out-of-breath'." Bolin pushed past her and knelt beside Bumi. "What is it boy?" He asked eagerly.
"B...ook...n...eed..."
"He says he needs a book." Bolin translated making Asami frown. After some more panting Bolin was able to glean the words 'Lin' and 'pirate'.
"I think I know just what he is talking about. I bet it really made her mad too." She led Bumi in and got him a chair in her living room. "I left some lemonade out for me and Bolin, you can have a glass while I get you that book." Asami nodded towards the pitcher of chilled lemonade leaving when the man had poured himself a cup and sagged back against the chair.
"-How big is this place anyways?" Bumi asked the young earthbender now that he had caught his breath.
"Well...you can fit a few circuses, a probending arena, and three of Tenzin's houses in here." Bolin shrugged as Asami came back in.
"I actually got it yesterday, I'm almost towards the end, but you can use it as long as you don't remove the bookmark." The Sato girl grinned and handed him the copy.
"Can't you just tell me why she's upset?" Bumi groaned taking the book when the Sato shook her head. He wasn't sure if it was all bad based on the cover. He got another look at it before turning to the back to reading the description. "...yada yada...becoming a protégé of his nemesis...yada yada...taking her heart...hmm...I guess this doesn't sound so bad. Nemesises, swearing to end people...why was this in the ro-oh yeah." He smiled sheepishly when he looked back at the two kissing.
"I'll just leave you to it, unless you want to borrow it."
"Oooho no. I'm staying here where it's safe until I figure out what's got her armor in a twist." The man got comfortable before opening the book and reaching for a cookie off the plate she left out. Nice girl. And it's so quiet here too, bet that gets lonely. He shrugged when he remembered how often Bolin and the others stopped by to visit, plus she had a job so she wasn't completely alone. He read for quite awhile, his smile continuing to grow as he read on. Bumi found himself glancing over his shoulder several times to make sure no one came in and saw how huge his grin was or the fact that he was blushing. "This is the best book ever!" He whispered excitedly under his breath.
The main character was a no-nonsense captain named Lennia whose sole purpose was to take down the notorious 'Commander', the scourge of the seas. As the story progressed, the two ended up in one of those battle of wills romances complete with action, suspense, and some scenes that of course made Bumi blush even more. What most likely angered Lin was that this Lennia woman was basically her. Completely the same down to the way she spoke and how she didn't give a tigerdillo's right foot what people thought of her. She wasn't going to stop until the Commander was in chains and her crew better show her respect while she's doing it. The Commander however was basically him. That must have really ruffled her feathers. He smiled thinking about that kiss Lennia and the Commander shared.
Bumi would not deny for a single second that he liked the idea of kissing Lin. There was something about her dour insults, that slimming armor, and the feeling that underneath that metal exterior was some sort of woman that was probably as crazy as he was that really called to him. Now there was a book that pretty much showed just what sort of thing would happen if they got together and he thought that it sounded like they would make a great couple. Bumi really wanted to find this writer and buy him a drink that's for sure. "I need a copy of my own." the man muttered reaching a point where he was a few chapters behind from where Asami's bookmark was and decided he should probably head back to the island so Tenzin wouldn't get worried that Lin had somehow gotten to him.
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Lin sat in her office during her break still reading that stinking book despite her having read the required two chapters and gave a soft snicker at yet another witty thing the 'Commander' had said. There was no way on earth she was letting her men ever find out that she was still reading the thing so she hid it behind the cover of 'Strategic Wars of the Old Kingdom', a rather interesting recounting of the Hundred Year War from a firebender's perspective, written by Jeong Jeong the Deserter. Oddly enough, her sister had given her the idea hiding things behind school books despite the fact that their mother couldn't see what she was reading anyways.
The woman felt a bit concerned that this mysterious writer knew so much about her mannerisms and how she spoke. This person was most likely someone who had been watching her pretty closely. Another thing came to mind was that despite the Commander being an almost exact copy of Bumi she found herself oddly liking him. Reading was a safe way to observe the man without actually having to be around him and giving the crazy airhead the idea that she found him attractive or some nonsense. Although the Commander was a no good pirate, he had an almost chivalrous attitude...honorable. He offered his opponents a sporting chance to surrender, and actually gave medical attention to the men whose ships he took over after the fighting. Perhaps he was just extending this for that Lennia captain, but Lin doubted it. The chief thought more about Bumi wondering if he would have been like that were he given his own ship that he alone was responsible for, or rather if he was a pirate. He would certainly be docking in Republic City to try and abduct her that's for sure. She was seriously hoping the man hadn't gotten his hands on a copy of this novel, but she knew that was most likely a far fetched dream since he had probably run to the bookstore as soon as she left.
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Bumi had only taken his nose out of the book long enough to fly back to the island and somehow navigate his way to the dinner table without looking up once. He honestly couldn't remember ever reading a book that wasn't about pranks or swords of his own free will, let alone reading one so quickly. Asami's bookmark was getting closer and the suspense was really building up. He might not be the nicest person for this, but Bumi hoped something would happen that would keep Pema in the kitchen long enough for him to at least finish reading the chapter. He tried desperately not to imagine Lin in that role when Lennia took down all those pirates and caught his counter part's attention. The man chuckled picturing her in some fancy pirate get-up shouting orders at her metalbending police to raise the sails and load the cannons.
"Bumi, could you not read that at the dinner table?" Tenzin asked with an exasperated sigh when his brother had unintentionally let the book tilt up showing the cover. He would rather Meelo and Ikki not see it and start asking questions.
"There's no dinner here yet and I'm almost done." The other airbender grumbled tilting the cover back down when he realized that was most likely Tenzin's problem.
"It doesn't matter Bumi, it's rude to-"
"Hi Uncle Bumi, whatcha reading?" Meelo piped up plopping himself beside Bumi much to Tenzin's dismay.
"Book." Bumi mumbled absorbed in a particularly interesting part where Lennia and her crew were battling the waves during a very nasty storm.
"What's it about?" Ikki leaned forward to get a closer look from her seat beside Jinora who was also reading, though her book about poetry.
"Pirates." The answer came with a grin but he didn't look up from his reading as he was only two and a half pages from the end of the chapter.
"Wow! That sounds great. Can I read it after you?" The boy asked eagerly making his uncle struggle not to laugh.
"You most certainly are not reading that!" Tenzin yelled jumped out of his seat making Bumi almost drop the book and lose his place. That wouldn't have ended well. "Bumi have some courtesy, and stop reading that...book at the table with the kids!"
"It's not like I'm waving it in their faces and reading it out loud or anything." The older brother argued finally giving up on the last page and a half and marking his place, stuffing it under the table so it was on his lap. Bumi kept silent for the rest of the meal not in a very good mood now, despite the fact that they actually had something that tasted like meat. One thing that didn't go unnoticed by him however was that one of the other airbenders had looked incredibly uncomfortable throughout the whole meal. Bumi knew that look, that was the type of look a person wore when they were hiding something and wanted to get away so they wouldn't be found out. He found Daw later that evening in one of the sitting rooms cross-legged on the floor viciously scratching notes into a notebook with his shoulders hunched over like he was trying to shield the book from other people. "Hi Daw. Mind if I join you?" Bumi asked noting the man almost jumped out of his skin when he spoke.
"Oh...um...yeah." Daw answered quickly scooting so he was further away from Bumi as the newcomer sat on the couch and pulled out his book.
"Yup. This is good reading. Have you read it at all?" The wild man sighed opening to his page. When no reply came he looked up to see that the other airbender looked like all the color had drained from his face. "Hey man, are you okay? Do you need a healer? Hate to tell her this, but Pema's bean casserole does NOT agree with people's stomachs. That's why I never eat it. Learned my lesson."
"Oh...I-I think I should go..." He began to gather up his papers as quickly as he could, but a gust of wind made one fly within Bumi's reach.
"Hang on, I got it." Bumi picked up the parchment pausing when a word caught his eye, 'Lennia'. "Hey Daw, why are you writing about-" his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "Written by Daisuke A. Wen..." One of those acra-thingies where the name is hidden with letters from other words! "YOU WROTE THIS?!" Bumi cried jumping out of his chair. "THAT'S HOW YOU KNEW SO MUCH!"
"Shhh!" Daw waved his hands frantically. "No one else knows!"
"This is really amazing! To think, I know the writer! Heh. I can see why you want it to be a secret. Lin's looking for the writer to give him a piece of her mind and Tenzin is being a major 'Tenzin' about it. I personally would have gotten you a drink, but you don't look like the drinking type." He paused scratching his beard thoughtfully. "What made you think of putting me and Lin together?"
"Well...I noticed when she isn't looking you always watch her. Clearly you have a thing for her, but I thought the two of you, you know being opposites...and opposites attract...I kind of used you guys as characters." The writer look chagrined rubbing his bald head.
"Well there's no complaints coming from me that's for sure. Man...that woman has class, doesn't look bad in a dress either but don't tell anyone. I'm still on her hit list for 'hiring' the guy who wrote this." He waved the book briefly.
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Half and hour later, a very nervous Daw made his way down the long hall hiding his notebook under his robes and pressing them against his chest. On one hand, it felt good having at least one person know his secret, but it was also concerning that the main character of his story was the one in question. He knew Bumi wouldn't tell a soul or if he did it would be someone like him who would be equally excited. Bumi was over the moon and had asked him to sign Asami's copy so he could give it to her as a 'thanks for the loan' after which the airbender had said to be expecting to sign another book when he got his own copy. The wild man might blurt things out at times, but he would never risk a sequel being stopped by people like Tenzin and Lin finding out.
He shivered at the thought of either gaining the knowledge that the writer had been right under their noses. His argument for Tenzin would be that he hadn't collected a single yuan for any of it. He had signed all the proceeds to go to the reconstruction of Republic City after the Red Lotus attack and to help with making living in vines more comfortable. The chief on the other hand would kill him most likely. Daw had feared for his life when she stormed onto the island with a copy of his book in hand causing him to practically dive behind the grazing sky bison. Luckily he was safe, he'd have to be extra careful about not drawing too much suspicion towards himself.
Both her and Bumi were the inspiration he based the characters off of, but since it wasn't very smart using their actual names he changed them. He didn't think the book would sell as well as it had or actually get a fandom but he had been very wrong. Daw had been trying to find a talent to have aside from airbending and working with antiques, so he decided to try writing. The bender had hidden out and observed some people to hopefully get inspiration, but nothing seemed to jump out except for an interaction between Chief Beifong and Bumi. The guy clearly had it bad for her and it didn't take a genius with a pen and parchment to see it. For her part, Lin Beifong had put up a tough act that he would like to expand on and turn it into one of pure determination for justice.
"Chief Beifong!" He yelped almost bumping into the very same woman when she turned the corner.
She paused giving the man a frown when she saw how nervous he was, then again most people were nervous around her so it was nothing new. "Where's Bumi?"
"He's in the sitting room." Daw answered quickly pointing her in the direction hoping to make a quick escape when the chief was distracted.
"Traitor!" Bumi's voice shouted from the room down the hall.
"No loyalty these airbenders." The wild man snorted when Lin entered making her roll her eyes but still look amused none the less. "Sooo...how'd you like the book?"
"Complete waste of time." Lin scoffed with a wave of her hand. "I could have spent my time doing something more productive instead of reading those two chapters, but now I get free lunches for my suffering."
"Yeah right! I bet you actually loved it and are just saying it's bad so no one knows you like a romance novel about a handsome, charming, and totally kiss worthy pirate commander."
"I most certainly do not, and that joker was anything but kiss worthy, reminds me too much of a certain man who is more of an airhead than Tenzin. The amount of kissing in there was atrocious too, where this writer gets off on the idea that anyone they like to see kiss ends up kissing all the time is beyond me."
"Come on Linny. You know you want to kiss me. You can't deny it, I see the way you look at me." Bumi said clasping his hands behind his back putting on a façade of pure innocence.
"And how on earth am I looking at you?" The annoyed woman asked clenching her fists and putting them on her hips.
"Like you wanna kiss me." He replied with a cheeky smirk. "Lin Beifong, have mercy and kiss a poor kissless guy. If you do it, I won't ever bother you about kissing me again."
"No."
"- and not bug you at the station."
"No, Bumi!"
"- and I won't shout that you wearing lacy underwear is attractive anymore-"
"YOU DO WHAT?! How do you even-?!" Lin shouted, her cheeks bright red in embarrassment. Wearing silk and lace lingerie was for her comfort and no other reason. It wasn't like she went flashing them around and she never had visitors at her house, so no one should even know about them!
"You left a pair when you did laundry at Air Temple Island that one time. Hahaha! Pema found a pair when folding the clothes and poor Tenzin had a heck of a time trying to explain where they came from." The airbender laughed wiping tears from his eyes remembering Pema yelling at his brother while waving them in the man's face. When he told Lin this she actually laughed at Tenzin's misfortune picturing his face if he had known Pema had thrown a pair of his ex girlfriend's clean knickers at him. The wild man got a grin on his face, hands still behind his back as he took one long step and ended up beside her raising a brow questioningly.
The chief groaned at this. "Why in the name of Raava do you even want to kiss me? Got Stolkholm Syndrome from being trapped in that book too long?"
"It's because you look so stinking kissable, and no, I bet if you locked me up I'd get that thing you said about you." He winked.
"Ugh! Fine but only if you'll can it after and leave me be."
Needless to say the following kiss had been a mess. Neither one seemed to know who would move first making Lin impatiently lean forward at the same time as Bumi causing them to bump heads and have their lips miss by a mile. Neither knew what type of kiss they would be giving either which ended with one having an open mouth during the exchange "Have you ever kissed a woman beside your mother and sister Bumi? That was as much fun as kissing a squidshark" Lin pulled back with a grimace and wiped the side of her face.
"Of course I have! It- it's just been awhile is all. It's not like I go around kissing women all the time. Now let me try again." He said trying to grab her only to have the chief duck away from him.
"I'll believe you've actually kissed a girl before when I see it."
"Is that an invitation for a second try?" He asked hopefully.
"No, I'm not doing that again." She said shaking her head choosing not to look at his big ridiculous polar bear puppy eyes.
"Oh come on! I bet you twenty yuan that I can easily top anything Tenzin can do."
"That previous attempt already did so it doesn't count." Lin tried not to laugh as she kept a tight smile. It wasn't well known, but the only person worse at kissing than Tenzin during their childhood had been her until Toph pulled her aside one day and explained how to do it properly, or in the older earthbender's words 'kiss like a Beifong'. Tenzin never improved though. The chief of police pinched the bridge of her nose and let out an annoyed breath as she saw him looking ready to beg. "Fifty yuans and you don't breathe a word of this or I'll deny it and say that I caught you checking out the president's wife."
"Ah! You ruined my appetite. Give me a second to not get sick before I do this." The airbender shivered in revulsion at the thought of the lady who he personally could see as looking like her husband if Raiko had been a woman. Tenzin would believe it too, Tenzin believes anything. I'd be ruined. Who care?! I get another shot and I really want to knock her off her feet. Bumi bit his lip as his mind raced on ways to approach this. He had the formula of what not to do, now...how to win her heart with his latent kissing abilities...? How would the 'Commander' kiss Lennia? Come on Bumi, be the Commander! He thought throwing caution to the wind as he remembered the last kissing scene he read about. Bumi wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close, letting his lips brush against hers in a feather-light caress which had shocked the woman but she had not pulled back. Taking that as a good sign, he cupped her cheek and wrapped his free arm around her waist giving her bottom lip a tiny nip using the opening it left to press forward more. The kiss overwhelmed his senses as he tasted coffee and a bit of chocolate in it, also catching an earthy smell from her skin. Much to his surprise she actually returned it with as much ardor resting her hands on his shoulders for those glorious moments until the need for breath won out making them pull back.
"You know, this reminds me of page one hundred ninety-two." He whispered against her lips still holding her.
"It reminds you of talking about your childhood when drunk-?" She asked but stopped widening her eyes when she realized she had fallen for the trick. Bumi looked particularly smug at this, so much so that it would have given her mother's smug smirk a run for its money. "Shut up." Lin growled despite the fact that he had not said a word.
"Gonna make me walk the plank if I don't, Captain?" Bumi questioned smiling wolfishly as he continued to inwardly gloat at having caught Lin's bluff about not reading past chapter two.
"Get me a stinking ship and I will sail to Kyoshi and feed you to their giant sea monster. Does that sound like a plan?" The younger woman suggested.
"Anything for you Linny, I can't promise I won't give it indigestion though." The wildman shrugged smiling when Lin punched him in the arm hard enough to almost knock him off balance. "I love you too Chief of my Heart."
"Shut it Bumi."
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A/N: Hehe sorry about the undergarment thing, I couldn't resist once my friend joked about it. I know knickers is a British word, but there are only so many ways to say underwear without being repetitive. I had a tough time transitioning to get them to a point where they would kiss so pleeeeeeeease forgive me if it feels sudden. The fic was going over my comfort zone word count and writer's block. I know right now the fics end the same, I'm practicing writing kisses in different tones and I like them kissing. I let Lin make fun of me there with her jibe on writers, we all have to laugh at ourselves sometimes. This fanatic just loves to see them kiss and hold each other though! I'd make a whole series about Linumi, but I have two ongoing series and I am in the process of rewriting a third. Speaking of series...(no I'm not advertising, think of it as me pointing you in the direction of fellow writers of your favorite ship so you won't have to be stuck listening to me talk lol) Anyways, it's a Linzin called 'Even the Sun Must Sleep' by Vampiric Charms. The story takes place in book four while they are fighting Kuvira. It's just great, and there is a crazy amount of Linzin over there, so check it out. I will be looking through your prompts on my other one shot for ideas.
-Priestess