A/N: WARNING - this story covers some darker material. However, it also has some cute moments between Cassandra and Varric so you decide.
Of all the people Varric ever thought he'd find drunk in a bar, the Seeker Pentaghast was not one of them. The dwarf, looking for a moment of silence, had slipped away from his game of cards and snuck into the Herald's Rest. It was usually empty this time of night though Cabot left a few bottles out for those in need. Apparently Cassandra was one of those people.
"Hello Seeker," the rogue greeted. "Not your usual haunt."
"Varric..." Cassandra acknowledge. "Would you like to join me?" she asked. Her words slurred slightly and Varric was taken aback as much by the invitation as he was by the fact that Cassandra was slightly drunk.
"I'd drink with Maferath himself," he joked, trying to find some even footing. Cassandra poured a drink for the dwarf before topping off her own glass. "What are we drinking to?" he asked.
"It's the anniversary," Cassandra told him, though she refused to look at him.
"Of what – when you lost your sense of humor?" he asked. Cassandra snorted.
"No. It is the anniversary...of my parents' death," she finished softly. Varric struggled not to spit his drink out.
"Shit, Seeker," he gasped. It struck him that he barely knew anything about the Seeker, aside from how to get under her skin. "What happened?" he asked, honestly curious to learn more about the stand-offish warrior. He and Cassandra might have their disagreements but the dwarf still admired the warrior and her steel resolve.
"They were on the wrong side of the second attempt to overthrow King Markus. He had them executed but spared my brother and me since we were family and children at the time," she told him before draining the contents of her glass.
"That must have been tough," Varric said after a pause. He immediately hated how trite the words sounded, though Cassandra didn't seem to notice.
"It was years ago," she informed him, though her eyes remained trained on the empty glass in her hands. "But with so much death and uncertainty, I see our men and women taking what comfort they can in their families and..." she trailed off with a sigh. "It's stupid."
"Maybe," Varric agreed. "But that doesn't mean you're wrong." Cassandra finally looked up from her glass, focusing instead on Varric. After a moments' pause, the Seeker realized that he was being truthful and a small, honest smile graced her lips.
"Varric, thank you," she told him sincerely. "I should go," she continued before awkwardness could set in. "I am helping Cullen with training tomorrow," she explained.
"I know how heartbroken you'll be if you aren't giving your all to make the soldiers miserable," Varric concurred before draining his own glass.
"Ass," Cassandra laughed but didn't argue. As the door swung shut behind her, Varric poured himself another drink.
It bothered him, he realized, how little he knew about the Right Hand of the Divine. Bits and pieces came out as they traveled all over Fereldan and Orlais but the warrior was fiercely protective about her personal life. It was time, the storyteller decided, to find out more.
The rogue's next big revelation came about in much the same way. Having once again snuck into the Herald's Rest, Varric was surprised to once again find Cassandra already at the bar. It had been nearly three months since their last shared drink and while things had been friendlier between the two of them they could not be called friends. Still, Varric clambered onto a stool and poured himself a drink.
"Who are we drinking to tonight, Seeker?" he asked softly.
"Anthony," she replied, her voice breaking at the end.
"Anthony?" he asked. It was not a name he had heard before.
"My brother," the Seeker clarified. "A dragon hunter." She took a sip of her drink before continuing. "Did you know the Pentaghasts used to be famed dragon hunters? Anthony sought to reclaim that glory. He promised to train me in secret so that we could fight together." She confessed. "It was the only thing keeping me in Nevarra."
"He sounds like a hell of a guy." Varric told her softly.
"He was," Cassandra agreed.
"Was?" the dwarf asked, his heart sinking in his chest.
"He was killed by a group of apostates. They wanted him to obtain dragon's blood for a ritual. He refused and they murdered him in front of me." she told him. Tears of pain and rage welled in her eyes although she angrily blinked them back.
"Shit," Varric muttered as he took a sip of his own alcohol. How much loss had the Seeker gone through? No wonder she was hesitant to get close to anyone. "Did they ever catch 'em?" he asked.
"I do not know," the Seeker confessed. "I hope so. I begged to become a Templar. I was determined to get justice on my own. They sent me to the Seekers instead. I was angry at the time but I know now that I would not have made a good Templar. My judgment would have always been colored by Anthony's death. The Seekers helped me let go of that anger."
"I think your brother would be proud of you," Varric told her. Cassandra rewarded him with another small smile.
"Thank you. I think he would have liked you," she confessed to the dwarf. "The two of you would have gotten on too well."
"Of course he would have liked me," Varric laughed. "I'm a likeable guy." The Seeker snorted but didn't argue. And unlike last time, she made no move to leave. Instead, they both finished their drinks in a comfortable silence.
The meetings with Cassandra left the rogue feeling good about how his friendship with the Seeker was progressing. While he still enjoyed needling her, it was much more playful and friendly than before and the warrior would even join in. The meetings had also served as an eye-opening experience. Varric now understood why the Seeker was the way she was, and he felt like he had truly helped her through some tough times. So it was a shock to find her back in the bar barely a month after their last meeting.
"Cassandra?" he asked warily. She waived – an invitation to join her and he did so. Giving her a brief once over he noted that she was clearly upset, though not as badly as she had been when remembering Anthony.
"Tonight we drink to Regalyan," she announced as she poured Varric a cup of alcohol. Another name the dwarf didn't recognize but he knocked his cup against Cassandra's and drank. "Today would have been his birthday," she told him.
"What happened?" Varric asked.
"He was with the Order at the Conclave," Cassandra answered. She tapped a finger on her glass as if deciding whether or not to share more. Varric frowned at the thought of her withholding information and pressed for more.
"He obviously meant a lot to you. Friend? Mentor?" he inquired.
"Lover," she clarified. Varric fought down the irrational spike of jealousy. There was no reason Cassandra couldn't have personal relationships, though the dwarf had never pegged her as the type – to him she came off too aloof. Still, that didn't mean it wasn't an option and Varric had no reason to be jealous. He and the Seeker were only just becoming friends and Varric had a...very complicated romantic entanglement of his own. "Have I finally managed to shock you into silence?" Cassandra asked as she turned to face the rogue.
"Perhaps," he chuckled. "A glib remark didn't seem right and I'm no good at personal stuff, so..." he trailed off with a shrug.
"Thank you for your...tactfulness. It is appreciated," she informed him.
"Any time, Seeker. Any time."
A brief period of peaceful coexistence settled in as Varric kept his distance from the Seeker. He was trying to sort through his emotions and figure out his irrational jealousy at finding out that Cassandra had a lover. He was even more shocked to find out that she was a fan of his – and not just because he could tease her about it. Cassandra was a tough woman to please and the fact that she liked his stories...it was an ego boost to say the least. Still, Varric decided it was best to keep his distance from the Seeker until he figured some things out. He decided later that it was a piss poor plan.
He found her with a drink in hand and evidence that she'd been crying earlier. It was also clear that, though she was holding a drink, she was still sober. While Varric had failed to realize what day it was, Cassandra had not.
"Hard to believe it's been a year already," she told him as she passed him a cup that had already been poured. Varric briefly wondered how long ago she had poured it, and why she seemed so certain he would be arriving.
"I think the Divine would be proud of everything the Inquisition has accomplished," he told her. Cassandra glanced out the window at the newly upgraded courtyard, at the banners flapping in the wind.
"I have no doubt she would. The Inquisitor has done well," she agreed.
"You know, I've always wondered..." he began. "How did you become the Right Hand of the Divine?" he asked. "While I believe you capable of taking down a dragon-"
"Ugh," Cassandra interrupted, a noise of disgust escaping her. "If you must know, I uncovered a plot on Divine Beatrix's life. My reward was to become the Right Hand. And while there were dragons, loyalist mages assisted." she told him.
"What? How have I never heard this story before? Start over, I need to hear all the details." Varric instructed as he searched for quill and paper. The Seeker sighed, pouring herself another drink before complying.
That night served to put any awkwardness behind the allies. A friendship finally managed to blossom between the two and Varric appreciated the Seeker's wit and dry sense of humor. Despite what he had told her earlier, he did have an idea for a book and the Seeker would be a main feature in it. The rogue might not always agree with the warrior but damn if she didn't get peoples' attention. Still, Varric knew some things would be left out. Some things like the Seeker getting absolutely shitfaced after returning from Caer Oswin.
Varric had not been in the party but news about Lord Seeker Lucius' death – and the book that had been recovered – eventually made its way to the dwarf. He immediately headed to the Herald's Rest.
"Cass?" he called softly. The place seemed empty and no candles were lit. He almost left until he heard a muffled thump and a curse. "Cass?" he called, louder this time.
"What?" she asked petulantly. "I'm busy," she added. Varric could not make out her face but he heard the distinct sound of a cork being popped and liquid being sloppily poured.
"Cabot's going to love you tomorrow," he muttered as he moved towards the bar. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, Varric saw the scattered bottles on the bar top. "Geez, Seeker, you drink all this yourself?"
"And if I did?" she challenged. "Do you know what we found at Caer Oswin?" she asked. Varric couldn't tell if it was meant to be a rhetorical question so he kept quiet. "The Lord Seeker was in on it. He betrayed the Seekers, sending them one by one to their deaths. And the Order of Fiery Death was not kind. They deserved better. Daniel deserved better."
"So...the Seekers are all -"
"No," Cassandra quickly corrected. "We were always scattered. I have messages out across Thedas. Whoever is left will come to Skyhold. But Lucius did kill the bulk of us, though that is not the worst of it," she continued. She paused and took a drink as if to steel her resolve. "Do you remember meeting him in Val Royeaux?" she asked.
"Yeah, he was a prick." Varric told her. The abrupt change of subject threw the dwarf through a loop but if it would help the Seeker put this behind her he'd follow along.
"It wasn't the Lord Seeker," she informed him. At Varric's inquisitive look she clarified. "It was a demon. He allowed a demon to impersonate him, to turn the Templars while he destroyed the Seekers."
"Andraste have mercy," Varric muttered before chugging his own drink. Cassandra gave a small laugh mixed with a sob before doing the same.
"There's more," she confessed.
"Of course there is," the rogue murmured as he refilled both of their glasses. "Drink up, Seeker. We're both going to need it." Despite the dwarf's encouragement, Cassandra did not drink. Instead, she set her glass down and turned to rummage through a bag at her side.
"This book has been passed down to every Lord Seeker since the last Inquisition," she told him as she set the book on the bar top. "We created the Rite of Tranquility and..." she hesitated. "We've known about the possible cure for ages."
"So..." Varric trailed off as the realization sunk in. "Shit. Shit." He sighed before turning back to the Seeker. "How are you feeling about all of this?" he asked. It seemed to him like the Seeker was getting sucker punch after sucker punch though she was standing tall against everything. That, in and of itself, worried the rogue. Eventually she would wear down and break.
"I feel like drinking," she answered wryly as she picked up her glass and drained it. Varric snorted but didn't stop her. "The Inquisitor thinks I should make them better," she informed him.
"Do you want to?" he asked. He thought she could do so. If the Templar Order was kept around after this shit-storm, Seekers would be needed to handle investigations. Though after everything the Seeker told him, it was clear the order had problems of their own.
"I...do not know," she answered truthfully. "Before Caer Oswin I would have said yes. But after reading the book and learning of everything the Lord Seekers kept hidden – not just from the Divine but everyone – I..."
"Do it." Varric told her, surprising himself and the Seeker. "Thedas needs the Seekers of Truth and if anyone can get them back on track, it would be you."
"I will consider it. Thank you, Varric," she told him sincerely.
"Do me a favor in the future, Cass." Varric told her. "Don't drink alone." The Seeker gave a drunken laugh as she stood up. The rogue grabbed her wrist and yanked her upright after she stumbled and nearly fell.
"I think I'm drunk," she told him, surprise coloring her voice.
"You're definitely drunk" Varric assured her as he stood up and came around to support her. "I take it you don't get drunk a lot?" he asked as he helped her to her room.
"Never," she told him. "It is not good for... for...anything. Why did you let me get drunk?" she accused. Varric gave a sharp laugh in surprise.
"I'm sorry to inform you, Seeker, but you were already drunk when I found you." he told her. "And judging by how drunk you are you are going to feel like shit tomorrow." Cassandra didn't respond, focusing instead on making her feet navigate the steps. "Here we are," he stated as he pushed her door open. "Try and sleep this off, Seeker. I'll let Leliana know that you'll be cranky tomorrow - well, more than usual." he told her as she stumbled toward her bed.
"I guarantee you she already knows," the warrior responded as she fell into bed. Varric didn't respond. Instead, he backed out of the room and closed the door behind him. When he heard the latch 'click' he rested his forehead on the wood and sighed heavily.
"Andraste have mercy," he muttered again before going to find Leliana.
In the aftermath of Cassandra's episode and subsequent hangover things returned to semi-normal. As normal as things got for their crowd, anyway. Varric was pleased to see that a number of red lyrium growths were being destroyed though they had yet to find the source. They would eventually figure it out after getting assistance from an unlikely person.
Bianca led them even deeper into Valammar and Varric could feel his unease growing. A nagging suspicion entered his mind but he squashed it ruthlessly. He'd warned Bianca and she'd never do anything to intentionally hurt him.
Unfortunately, his nagging suspicion was correct. Although unintentional, Bianca was the source of the leak. More discomforting was the fact that she'd disregarded his warnings and began studying the red lyrium. Something shifted inside him and while he waived Bianca off and told her it was fine, he was definitely lying. He told the Inquisitor the truth – he would see Bianca again, but things had been irreparably changed.
Leliana must have tipped Cabot off because several bottles of Varric's favorite beer were lined up on the bar. He was well into the first bottle when the door to the Herald's Rest swung open. Varric didn't bother to turn around – he knew who it was.
"The Inquisitor told me of what happened at Valammar," she greeted as she sat next to him.
"Figured," Varric snorted but he pushed a bottle towards the warrior. Silence fell between them. Cassandra was not the type of person who was good with words and Varric wasn't in a chatting mood. Still, the dwarf appreciated the company. As he made his way through the second bottle he could feel himself relaxing. "I gave her the thaig."
"The thaig at Valammar?" Cassandra asked, clearly trying to follow his reasoning.
"After Kirkwall blew up, I put the thaig under lock and key and gave it to Bianca. I figured it would be safer than keeping it in my name – anyone wanting to find red lyrium would just need to break into the Merchants Guild and look at the documents to see what thaigs I owned and then..."
"It was smart of you to put it in someone else's name." the Seeker agreed.
"Not as smart as I thought. I told her not to mess with it!" he continued. Frustration was seeping into his voice along with something else. Disappointment, perhaps. "I thought she had enough respect to..." he trailed off with a sigh.
"You thought that she would respect your opinion enough to listen. That she respected you enough to just let the red lyrium stay under lock and key," Cassandra clarified.
"Should have known better," Varric sighed. "She's too much of a researcher to leave anything alone, no matter how dangerous it is." The betrayal cut through him again – sharper than it had been in Valammar and Varric opened his third bottle.
"What will happen now?" the warrior asked.
"Luckily we got all the keys back and Bianca has shut down the mine. That will put a dent in the red lyrium supply for Corypheus," Varric told her.
"And for you?" Cassandra pressed. "Bianca seemed...subdued upon leaving Skyhold. Will the two of you not work things out?" The dwarf sighed.
"Our relationship has been...complicated...for years, Cassandra. Perhaps it's time to make things simpler. Bianca is too good at her job to never have contact with her again but as for our personal relationship..." He shrugged.
"I am sorry to hear that, my friend," she told him. "You deserve a happy ending."
The words echoed in his mind for months. Varric had written plenty of stories throughout the years – none of them had happy endings. Like he told the Inquisitor – it likely said something about his personal life. But now...
He found Cassandra at the Herald's Rest with a newly opened bottle in her hand. She was sitting at one of the tables instead of at the bar and she had a look of defeat on her face. It was echoed in her posture as she sprawled in her chair.
"Who are you drinking to today?" he asked as he slid into the chair across from her.
"No," she answered, shaking her head. "Today, I cannot tell you." Varric would be lying if he said those words didn't sting. Something must have shown on his face, for the Seeker sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "It is...complicated and I have not told anyone. So..."
"I understand, Seeker. Or, at least I can try to," he told her.
"What brings you here?" Cassandra asked, quickly changing the subject.
"You," Varric told her easily. He leaned across the table and snagged the warrior's drink. Taking a quick sip the dwarf made a face. "Why do you drink something that's so sweet?"
"Hey!" she protested as she snatched her drink back. "If you don't like it then don't steal my drink!" she argued.
"I'm doing you a favor," he told her. "You've obviously developed a drinking problem and I'm trying to help you curb it."
"I do not have a drinking problem. Those other times were...understandable but it is not a habit. And you are to blame for today," she told him.
"Seeker, I haven't seen you all day! How am I to blame for you needing a drink?" he asked with a laugh. Cassandra colored quickly and looked away. Varric's laughter cut off as he realized what her response meant. "Cassandra -"
"I have to go," she said quickly as she pushed away from the table. Her stride quickly covered the distance to the door but Varric was a rogue and he made it there before her. "Varric, move." she ordered.
"Not until we talk about this," he told her as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"There is nothing to talk about," she argued, though she made no move to get past him.
"There's plenty to talk about. In fact, we probably should have talked about it sooner but we both suck at talking about feelings," Varric countered. Cassandra groaned as if the mere mention of 'feelings' brought her pain. The dwarf held his ground, refusing to budge from his place in front of the door. He prayed that Cassandra forgot about the exit upstairs.
"My feelings do not matter," she told him as she moved away from him. "I know Bianca is still dear to you and-"
"And I told you that my personal relationship with Bianca was at an end," Varric interrupted.
"You say that now, when you are still angry, but-"
"But nothing, Cassandra." he interrupted again. "It's been months. I don't want Bianca, I want you." The Seeker whirled around and stared at the dwarf. "Finally, something got you to shut up." he stated. "Now listen. You are a gigantic pain in my ass," he told her. "You are moody, you take everything personally, you're a total lightweight when drinking and you have a horrible sense of humor. No, shut up." He continued, cutting her off as she tried to interrupt. "You are also a terrifying fighter. Seriously, dragons have nothing on you. You're loyal, you're passionate, you're not afraid to admit when you're wrong and you're at home in a tavern drinking or by yourself reading."
"Varric-" Cassandra tried again.
"Shut. up." he told her. "At some point, Cass, I stopped trying to annoy you and started trying to make you laugh. I'd be lying it if I said I didn't freak out about it. But I've accepted that I'm in love with you. So, no, you don't get to just run out without talking things through with me."
"Alright," she told him.
"What?" Varric asked, clearly taken off-guard. Cassandra sighed and rolled her eyes.
"I said, alright. You have clearly given this a lot of thought and if you are willing to give it a try...so am I," she told him with a small, awkward smile.
"Glad to hear it," Varric told her with a smile of his own. "Well, since we're already here..do you want to grab a drink?" he asked. Cassandra laughed.
"I would love to have a drink with you."
~Review~