Forethought
Sakura wasn't too sure when or why she had turned away from her paper to stare blindly at the objects laying around her apartment. She should be writing or even just thinking about the medical text, she supposed, but she couldn't focus.
The computer screen was obnoxiously bright and the pounding of the rain against her window was groundbreaking. Her phone occasionally beeped, but she did her best to ignore it. Probably just some text or two describing how horrible college was or how they just got the newest expansion pack for an online game. What was worse was that she couldn't place the odd complacent feeling settling in her chest.
Shouldn't she be out visiting her friends at their part time jobs? Shouldn't she be at the nearest coffee shop typing away on her laptop? Shouldn't she be pouring shots of vodka down her throat?
Well, Sakura thought, none of those were too appealing. One simply doesn't appear to socialize at another's workplace. It was too unprofessional. One doesn't follow trends to fit in the new social norm. Sakura wasn't quite sure how anyone got any work done with the all the noise. And one does not have to get maddeningly drunk on a Thursday night. Beer was more enjoyable anyway.
Sakura tossed her pink locks from her face and frowned. She wasn't necessarily lonely or feeling completely left behind. Her emerald eyes landed on the single picture of her beside the boys. Let's not jinx ourselves, she thought, rubbing the back of her stiff neck.
That picture was her favorite. Naruto was being his big blonde loud self clinging on to her and Sasuke was brooding to the left with his arms crossed in front of his torso. Of course, Kakashi was leaning over them with a cheeky grin peaking out from under his winter scarf. The snow was drifting about them and their little red noses shone like Rudolf. Her puffy red jacket and her pink her conflicted annoyingly so with her purple scarf and gloves.
Sakura remembered that day well. They had all decided, with a little coaxing from Naruto, to go to a little ski resort up in the mountains as a nice getaway. Never having skied before, she had made an utter fool of herself going down every slope. She swore it was how slippery the slope was and not her clumsy feet. Naruto was twice as bad, and Sasuke was sure to mock the poor boy all throughout the night. Kakashi watched from a distance with his wonderful romance novel close at hand. Afterward, they all cuddled up with hot chocolate and reminisced about their adventures in high school. Adventures Sakura happily laughed and jibbed at.
She supposed it was a good final separating party. Not to say they were never going to chat or get together, but with each of them leaving to different universities and moving in different directions in life, she knew things wouldn't be the same. They didn't visit each other often, and between work and school, time was just too fleeting to really take a moment to appreciate each other. Sakura did her best to check in on them when she could, but her schedule didn't often let her. Her boys occasionally would call when the chance arose, but she often enough couldn't get to the phone or reply back.
Sakura felt her eyes prickle a bit with the fond memory close at hand. She shook her head and twisted away from the photograph. That day at the ski resort, they all promised each other to reach their dreams no matter what crossed their paths. That day was three years ago, and that's how she ended up staring at the computer screen trying to formulate a paper on an outdated medical theory.
Shaking her head once again, she smiled and glanced back at the picture of her boys. A few tears managed to escape past her lids, but her smile never wavered. Sighing, she threw herself back into her work ignoring the obnoxious computer glow, the pounding of the rain, and the beeping of a fairly useless device.
She would do anything to keep her promise to her boys even if it meant being complacent for a little while longer.
A.N.: I suppose this reflects a bit more of me and less of Sakura, but I'm still pleased with the determination it took to really sit down and focus on posting something for you all. If I had a theme of excuses for why nothing gets done, it is this exact story. It's just an inner rambling of my struggle to find who and where I am in life, but trying to keep a promise to someone dear.
Natalie, where ever you are, I promised you six years ago that I'd reach my dreams no matter what and five years ago I promised you I'd eventually visit your grave. If you're watching over me now, may you forever know that I'll keep my promises no matter how long it takes me and I'll fight to stay focused. I'm complacent knowing you're in my heart. I love you and miss you, old friend.