PLEASE NOTE
I've never even seen Ponyo. This is more of a story based off of it.
CHAPTER 1
Once there was a boy named Elizabeth. He was 5 years old but for some reason he had a very astonishing vocabulary. He even talked extremely formal and even made fewer grammar mistakes than his mother, who was an English Professor with 27 degrees. He also had a british accent, which was strange because they're Japanese.
They we're going to the fair to have fun because thats what fairs are for you stupid piece of shit.
Elizabeth got in the car with his mom. He started the car and drove through 7 houses.
"GEE MUM I SURE CAN'T WAIT TO GET TO THE FAIR I SAY GOOD SIR," he said, full of glee and honey mustard. He didn't have insides. He was 99% Honey Mustard and 1% Elizabeth.
"" His mother said, smiling. His mother was always smiling. Maybe the stupid bitch could make her sentences easier to understand if she tried to not smile and talk at the same time. Or maybe its because she was born without a face, I don't fucking know.
After killing hundreds of thousands of pedestrians and destroying many cars and , and almost completely destroying their car, they finally made it. Elizabeth tried to pat himself on the back for doing better than he usually does at driving, but his whole arm got cut off as he drove under a school bus and tried to high-five a kid at the same time. Instead he kicked himself in the ass with the rest of the leg he had left.
2 day later, after going through the crawling spree of a life time, they made it to the fair. Even though they were just 3 feet away from it, but its kinda hard dragging yourself through the dirt with your teeth. But its okay because Elizabeth and Mom are both half-xenomorph so their limbs regenerated. They just like crawling using their teeth.
When he entered the fair, he killed his mom and transported her back to the mother ship for recovery. I don't know why but thats an important detail.
Just then, he heard a voice.
"Hi (:" said the voice.
He turned around and his eyes exploded. It was the hottest girl in school, Sexy Bitch. Her parent's named her that because after her mom fired her out of her cooch, she came with long blonde flowing hair, perfect lips, gorgeous eyes, double Ds, a conjoined twin who was Double D from Ed Edd n Eddy, and sexy high heels that are connected to her feet via solar star power.
But Elizabeth, like any other 5 year old in High School, had a hard time communicating with girls. He got all sweaty and tongue tied.
"How are you todayy?" she asked.
"I WANNA FUCK YOU" He said.
Her eyes widened and she turned on high heel's jet speed power boost function and ran away. Only she wasn't running toward the shaggin wagon. Elizabeth was sad.
He tried running after her, but compared to her super sonic heels, he was SLOWER THAN MOLASSES GOING DOWN AN ASTEROID.
While he ran, one of the fair's games caught his eye. It was a shooting range. If he shot 3 bottles, he won a fish. Yay.
He gave the man working at the shooting range a dollar, and when he got the gun he shot the man and several witnesses. He grabbed his dollar along with all the fish and ran.
He stood on top of a roller coaster and loaded the fish into a rocket launcher and started firing them at the fair's patrons. When he got down to the last fish, he noticed it had took the form of Sexy Bitch. Only he could say correct sentences in her company. She must be an ALIEN.
He decided to keep her. Only he didn't know what to name her so he called her Ponyo. Only his heavy Japanese accent mixed with British made the word "Ponyo"
come out as "Porno." It was appropriate.
So yeah.
I like turtles.
END OF CHAPTER 1.