Disclaimer: I don't own the world of Harry Potter.
I could stare at him all day, so that is what I do. During meals, during classes, whenever I see him in the hallways or in the library. Never does he look better than he does on the Quidditch Pitch, though. The way his hair is all windswept, the way his eyes shine whenever he'll score a goal, the way he'll win over the students in the stands with his funny moves… it is pure pleasure only to look at him.
It's only too bad he doesn't look at me like that. Sure, he knows I exist. How could he not? I'm in each of his classes, no matter how small, I smile broadly whenever he walks past, and he saved me from a disastrous date in Hogsmeade once (I think that was the moment I started fancying him).
I sigh to myself; he will never see me as anything but a generally happy girl with clumsy tendencies, but most of all, as a Slytherin. Yes, I am a Slytherin and although I won't say that it doesn't fit me – I'm ambitious and I'm determined enough to use any means to get what I want (apart from him, of course) – it sometimes irks me that the other three Houses see us Slytherins as a nasty, evil bunch of potential Death Eaters. I have no such ambition at all.
"Elena? Elena!" My best friend Peter snaps his fingers in front of my face, causing me to look at him instead of at Roger. I look at him innocently and he sighs. "It's Davies again, isn't it?"
I smile weakly and he pats my arm comfortingly. He knows of my obsession; he's the only one who knows how huge it actually is. He doesn't have it any easier than me, to say the least. He's pretty obsessed himself with a Hufflepuff girl two years below us, and she won't spare him a second glance whenever she sees him. I feel pretty bad for Peter about that; at least Roger usually smiles back at me in the hallways.
"Aren't we pathetic?" I ask randomly, and Peter snorts a bit.
"Of course we are," he replies, smiling unhappily. "That's why we put up with each other." I'm about to protest, about to say that we would be friends even if neither of us would be so obsessed with an unattainable person, when he hits my head playfully. "I'm only joking, Lenny." I make a face at his nickname for me.
"Shut it, Pete," I said grumpily, turning back to Roger instead. For once, fortunately, there is no girl at his side. There usually is, so I wonder why nobody's there now. The amount of girlfriends Roger has had to this date is my main objection against outright telling him that I like him a lot. I'm not shy or anything, so that's not the problem. I just don't feel like being used as a toy and being thrown away when he's had enough of me. No thank you. I'm sure that that would hurt even more than seeing him with a different girl every month.
"We are pathetic," Peter says, repeating my words from earlier, staring at his lovely Hufflepuff with great interest. Nobody is sitting near us, so we can freely speak without being overheard. Not that we'd care if someone would overhear, though.
It's not that we're outcasts or anything, we just don't feel like going along with the sneakiness that the rest of our House exhibits nowadays. We get along with everyone else (well, at least the people in our year) but to say they're our best friends? No, I wouldn't do that. Although, perhaps our loneliness here makes us seem even more pathetic than we already are.
As I point this out to Peter, he just shrugs. "We're already pathetic. A little more or a little less pathetic doesn't make a difference." He's right. The people we're obsessed with don't notice us anyway. We don't care much about everyone else.
"Let's go to class," I propose, glancing at my watch. Our first class of the day is in ten minutes and we shouldn't be late; it's Transfiguration and McGonagall hates Slytherins because we are Gryffindor's main rival in, well, everything. She'd love to land us in detention.
"I'll be there in a minute," Peter replies without taking his eyes off of the Hufflepuff girl. "Go without me, okay?" If I wouldn't do the same thing to him all the time (that is, talking to him while keeping my eyes fixed on Roger), I'd be offended. But I'm not, because I'm just as pathetic as he is.
I nod, get up and leave, at the same time as Peter also stands up and casually walks towards the Hufflepuff table. I'm not sure what he's going to do, but I'm sure I'll hear all about it later.
I am early, as usual. Just how I like it. It gives me the opportunity to find myself the seat I want, save Peter a seat in the process (since nobody else sits down next to me anyway) and think for a little longer. About Roger, usually.
My daydreams don't bore me in the least, even though they're always about the same person. He's just so… perfect. Apart from the dating-twenty-girls-a-year thing, of course. That's the only smudge on his otherwise perfect image. I sigh dreamily and lean my head on one of my hands as my vision is clouded by images of the boy I've liked for such a long time. After so many years, I'm not sure if it's just a crush anymore. Am I honestly in love with him? Who knows, that might just be the case.
Today, my alone time doesn't last quite long; the door opens and I sit up, not wanting to look like a complete idiot who falls asleep before the lesson has even started. "Hey Elena."
My eyes widen and my heart speeds up. I grab my desk with both hands as I turn towards the person I didn't expect here now. "Hi, Roger," I manage to say, trying to smile. I must look like I'm in pain though, if Roger's concerned look is anything to go by.
"Everything alright?" he asks and I nod fervently.
"Everything's great, thanks. And how are you?"
There's a small smile on his lips now. Before I become completely transfixed on his lips, I quickly turn my gaze back to his (beautiful, wonderful, sparkling, perfect) eyes. "I'm fine, actually." He plops down in the seat next to me and I think my heart will soon break out of my chest from beating so loudly. I hope he doesn't hear it. On a second thought, I also hope that Peter will forgive me for not saving him a seat. He should understand, but who knows. Boys…
"That's – great," I splutter, and I quickly look towards the front of the classroom.
He chuckles and starts speaking again in that beautiful, velvety voice of his. If I'd die right now, at least I'd die happy, I decide. "That was quite a show downstairs, don't you think?" I have no idea what he's talking about, and he seems to notice. "Or were you gone by then? That's really a shame." He chuckles again. "Your… friend – what's his name? Peter? Well, he asked out – I don't know her name either, to be honest." He scratches his ear in an adorable way and looks at me apologetically.
"Susan Bones?" I ask him, thinking that she can be the only one he'd dream of asking out at the moment, and he nods quickly.
"Right, that was her name. Well, your friend asked her out in front of the entire Great Hall – " Except for me, I think gloomily.
"And?" I ask when he stops.
He looks at me as if he's not sure what to tell me. "That was quite shocking in itself for most people," he continues hesitantly, "since everybody thought that the two of you were, well, dating." He stops again and I can only stare. Everybody in this fricking castle, probably including Roger – Roger! – thought that Peter and I were dating? Why? How? What a bunch of idiots.
"Well, we're not," I tell Roger firmly, looking him straight in the eye. When he stares back, I feel myself blushing and I look away.
"That's good," he mutters, and I send him a questioning look. "I mean – because if you were, he would be cheating on you now, right?" He laughs nervously and I suddenly feel hollow inside. That really crushes my last hope. Fortunately, Roger doesn't notice my sudden gloominess.
"Anyway, that Bones girl asked something like, who are you? And then he muttered something and she eyed him like she had never seen anyone quite like him in her entire life – " I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing; either way, I feel bad for Peter that she didn't even know who he was. "But in a good way, I guess." Roger shrugs. "She agreed to have lunch with him today – " Well, screw that. I don't feel bad for Peter at all. He's asked out the girl he likes and didn't get turned down. He's no longer pathetic. I'm all alone now. But of course, I can't start wallowing in my patheticness now, because Roger is still sitting next to me – Roger. Of course. At least he's talking to me now. I suppose that makes me a little less pathetic; for today, that is. Although –
"Elena? Are you still awake?" Roger shakes my shoulder lightly and I feel like I'm in heaven. He's touching me, voluntarily! That's definitely going to be the highlight of my day – no, my week, I'm sure. I smile at him, a little too shyly for my taste, and he smiles back. It's as if the entire room suddenly lights up. "I was asking you if you wanted to have lunch with me and my friends, since your friend probably won't be joining you for lunch today."
Oh Merlin. I think I just started hyperventilating. Roger Davies is inviting me to have lunch with him? Sure, his friends will be there too, but how can I properly have lunch with him if I'll feel nauseous all the time thanks to the butterflies in my stomach?
I smile at him again, feeling a little dazed. "That would be great," I tell him, and he smiles back. I'm glad I won't have to sit all alone during lunch today, all pathetic again. "Uh, Roger? Am I even allowed to sit at the Ravenclaw table?"
He thinks for a moment. "Aren't the Professors all for House unity? Don't they want everyone to get along? I don't think they'll mind." I nod numbly as my mind processes what just happened. I'm supposed to have lunch with Roger Davies today. I've liked him forever and now he invited me for lunch at the Ravenclaw table. What if I make a complete fool out of myself?
A/N: So, what do you think so far? Like it, hate it? Any questions? Let me know, please review!