Tenten couldn't even remember how long they'd been at this. All she could remember was the pain and shame she felt each time she saw him walk out the door. It felt no different this time.
He gathered his clothes in silence, put them on, and then left. She was once again left to wallow in her misery alone. The dark shadows that played across her bed made her shudder, and she hugged the bed sheet closer to her naked body.
Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes and, as usual, they fell like a steady stream. She felt so dirty, so used, completely worthless. And yet, she still loved him. She knew she was a fool to feel that way, but it wasn't her fault, or Neji's either.
The two of them had felt much pain and loss in their lives, and they went to eachother for comfort. Neji would go to no one else, and she had no one else to go to. It was comfort sex. Well, maybe to him it was. To her, it was something else. She meant every touch and cherished every one of his.
She supposed it all started when Lee had died a year ago, killed during an ANBU mission. After the funeral, the two former members of Team Gai had went to a bar, hoping to ease the pain of his passing with a couple bottles of sake. Then, things had escalated from there.
She remembered waking up in her bedroom, alone and naked. When the memories of the previous night had come flooding back to her, she'd felt both happy and saddened. It took her only a few minutes to realize that Neji had left her there, and then she remembered the funeral and cried some more.
The next time he'd ended up in her bed had been the day Hinata had been injured quite badly during a mission, hanging onto only a shred of life in the hospital. And when Tenten awoke that morning she'd once again cried tears of pain and relief to learn that the Hyuuga heiress had made it through and to discover that Neji was once again absent from her bed.
It was tearing her apart that he had resorted to this instead of talking. He never spoke to her about his problems, and she'd tried awfully hard to get him to open up to her. His shell, however, was hard and impenetrable.
She never asked him to leave, though, afraid he would go and not return to her. It was a fear that had steadily began to take over her life. Monophobia it was called, the fear of being alone.
It wasn't just the fear of being alone. It was the fear of being without Neji. She loved him for damn sure. Maybe that's what it was. Love. She loved Neji so much it was beginning to tear her apart, torturing and tormenting her soul.
Now, as she sat on the cool white tiles of her bathroom floor, she began to think of the last time he had actually spoken to her. She couldn't remember. The sudden revelation made her head spin and her heart squeeze painfully.
She remained on the floor for nearly an hour more, doing nothing but sitting and hurting. When she stood with stiff legs and exited the bathroom, he was waiting for her.
His lips were so hot on hers, she could almost feel her lips beginning to blister, and his hands were scalding. They moved in unison, their bodies used to the routine.
Even after all the thinking she'd done, she still found herself getting weak kneed and light headed. This was the effect he had on her, and she was completely his in a matter of seconds.
His long, dark hair fell over her like a curtain as he pushed her into the bed none too gently. By his movements, she could tell he was angry and upset. She longed to know about what.
Their bodies were bare in a matter of minutes, and they became lost in the bittersweet passion that followed.
As he began to gather his clothes, Tenten reached out her hand to grab hold of his wrist and tell him to stay but was met with nothing but cold air. He had already gone.
She curled up into a tight ball and cried.
Neji looked into his coffee. Tenten had just left on a four month mission. He'd heard it from her personally before he left her house the previous night. He was surprised that she had spoken to him. It wasn't part of their routine to say goodbye, but she had done just that.
It frightened him slightly in the moment she'd told him, but he had pushed the feeling aside. Afterall, he was Neji Hyuuga, and he didn't have such emotions. Her being gone would not affect his life in the slightest.
How wrong he had been. He had tried several times to convince himself that he didn't miss her and that he only missed the sex.
But every girl he had been with since she'd left was her in his eyes. Most of them had been ten times more beautiful than her, but they weren't the same kind of beautiful that she was. They didn't have the natural, earthy beautiful she had. They all had perfect features and perfectly combed hair, but she didn't have that, so it wasn't good enough.
She had scars and flaws, and he often found himself looking for them, only to find that they weren't there. He felt as if he was going crazy with his sudden need for the kunoichi. Her touch was the one he wanted, and her face was the one he wanted to see.
He did whatever possible to keep his mind preoccupied. Training had become his main source of distraction, but it still wasn't enough. She had once been his training partner, and his thoughts somehow drifted back to the time when they had been happy. That time was no longer. They had been young then, sheltered from the true horrors and pains of life. Now, they had been thrust into the real world, whether they were ready or not.
Monophobia, he decided, was his problem. It was a special kind of monophobia, not the fear of being alone but the fear of being without one particular person. In this case, that person was Tenten.
Neji stood with his arms crossed as he explained his problem to the pink haired medic. She listened intently, jotting down notes on a small notepad. The pen immediately stopped moving when he stated who the center of his monophobia problem was. Jade eyes softened and connected with his.
"Neji," she said softly. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with you."
His brow furrowed in confusion, and he stood from the wall he was leaning on. "I don't mean any disrespect, Sakura, but I really don't think what I'm going through is normal."
She shook her head gently and smiled. "Actually, Neji, you don't have monophobia, but there is another name for it." She paused, and he waited impatiently. "Love."
Tenten sighed tiredly as she walked down the streets of Konoha, having arrived only a few minutes ago. Her head hung low, concealing tears that threatened to fall. She had decided to tell him. She would tell Neji that she couldn't go on living like this.
Neji had been on her mind the whole mission, distracting her from her jobs and assignments and nearly getting her killed once. He really was destroying her, and she wanted freedom from these chains.
During the mission, she'd come to realize that she had actually never had monophobia. She'd been alone her whole life, and somehow she'd gotten up each morning happy and ready for whatever life was going to throw at her. Why should it change now?
She had spent all those months preparing herself for the moment she would tell him. She had been ready then, but would she be able to do it when the opportunity presented itself to her?
The house was eerily quiet when she opened the front door, and she wearily made her way to her bedroom. He was there.
She had to stifle a gasp of surprise when she saw him standing at her window with his back to her. He was beautiful in the pale white light of the moon. His dark hair shimmered, and his wide shoulders looked so strong and proud. Her courage steadily began to decline.
"N…Neji?" she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.
He didn't move or even acknowledge her. Something was wrong.
"What are you doing here?" she continued, moving forward slowly.
Once again, he didn't respond, and anger flared up in her chest. How dare he break into her house and completely ignore her. Who did he think he was?
"Neji, I have to tell you something," she said in a stronger voice. She could do this. It was what she wanted, but then why was her heart pounding so hard?
He finally turned to face her, his eyes serious and his mouth placed into a thin line. She gulped, and her knees began to shake.
"I can't do this anymore," she whispered hoarsely. "This…relationship needs to stop now. I just can't do it anymore."
His reaction was the one she had expected: emotionless. To see this have no effect on him whatsoever made her throat close painfully.
"You know you want this, Tenten," he stated, and her eyes flashed dangerously.
"Don't presume to tell me what I want," she said angrily. "Of course I want this but not this way. I wanted something real, Neji, and I'm tired of going after something I'll never have."
She didn't end as strongly as she'd hoped, her voice breaking on the last word.
"You've always had it, Tenten," he said softly, looking at the wall over her shoulder. "I was just too blind to see what I really wanted, but now I've figured it out, and it's not going to get away that easily."
She was stunned at his confession, and when he finally met his eyes with hers, he saw the collection of tears in them. His heart seemed to jump right out of his chest at the sight of her. She was perfect in his eyes, the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on.
This time, when he kissed her, it was gentle and held so much more than all those other times. His lips molded onto hers perfectly, and the way her body fit into his was truly extraordinary. The way his tongue danced with hers filled both their hearts with an immense joy and affection, and their kisses became more intense.
His lips drifted to the junction of her throat, and her hands entangled themselves in his hair. He felt….different this time. All those other times he'd wanted it to be over quickly, but now he wanted it to last forever.
A shudder coursed through his body when she slipped her hands under his shirt and traced patterns along his well sculpted torso. Her shirt, at some point, had been thrown off, and he latched his mouth onto the sensitive skin of her collarbone. She released a throaty moan as he began to suck gently on the one spot.
She lifted his shirt over his head, breaking the kiss for a moment. As soon as the garment had been thrown aside, he pressed her body against the wall, her back up against the cool window. He undid the clasp of her plain white bra and gently massaged the soft mound.
Her moans were driving him insane, and his heart quickened when she tugged at the waistband of his pants. Their panting breaths mingled as his lips hovered above hers.
"You know," he said softly. "I actually thought I had monophobia while you were gone. Love is such a simpler word."