May 2002
I stared blankly at the little red circle on the device laid flat against my palm. The only noise I could hear was the pounding in my head, and I couldn't move. I couldn't think.
I barely registered the pregnancy test falling out of my hand and clattering onto the sink. The sudden sound pierced through the deafening silence that had a hold of my mind. In just a second, all my senses returned. In just a second, I realised my life had changed forever. I finally looked up into the dirty and cracked mirror in front of me. The fragility of the broken reflection staring back startled me.
This wasn't the Selina Kyle I knew.
This wasn't the Catwoman the world knew.
This wasn't the woman Bruce knew when he gave her an enticing look, causing shivers throughout her body.
I wondered if he ever anticipated what would happen in the next hour when we lost ourselves in each other and ignored all the reasons why it was a bad idea. I wondered if he would look at me in the same way if he knew what I knew at this moment.
I snapped back to reality and picked up the pregnancy test, throwing it into the overfilled bin on the other side of the room. There was an overbearingly pungent smell in these public toilets, probably coming from the area next to the door where somebody evidently lost control before they got to the urinal. The stuffy and suffocating atmosphere urged me to turn on my heel and head straight through the door.
November 2002
The inside of my swelling stomach turned as a familiar pain rose up, forcing me to curl up into a tight ball. My weak state meant I had to halt my criminal activities as Catwoman, and I knew it would be a while before I could return to that life.
I had already decided months ago that I wouldn't be able to keep and look after the baby when it was born. I could try to find a stable job that would support both of us, but if anyone were to link the feline identity with Selina Kyle, it was over. I couldn't risk endangering my baby and taking away her future. The thought of separating from her broke everything inside of me, but I knew it was for the best.
Shifting into a more comfortable position, I pulled the covers over my head and went back to sleep while my head filled with the image of a younger version of me, dancing around in a field of daffodils with three other little girls. I could faintly make out two figures standing side by side in the distance, watching over the girls with proud smiles on their faces. I slowly realised that I wasn't one of those figures.
January 2003
Eight months had gone by since I found out I was pregnant. Any physical activity tired me out a lot faster than before and I knew I was running out of time. Sitting peacefully in the corner of a beautiful café, I munched on an egg sandwich with my face half covered by black sunglasses. The pleasant sound of chatter and quiet laughter surrounded me, and I tried to take it all in.
It was the first time I had gone and treated myself for a while, but I still felt an overwhelming sense of urgency in the pit of my stomach. After 2 months of searching, I still hadn't found what I needed, what my baby needed. My standards were too high, and the people of Gotham didn't have much to offer.
A young, happy couple, both with stable jobs, a well-balanced lifestyle, and a strong sense of compassion. That was just the beginning of the list, and though I hoped it wasn't too much to ask for, the search had been fruitless so far. There was no way I was going to give up and give her away to an orphanage. I didn't have a good experience with orphanages and I didn't want her to end up as a homeless orphan as I had. Although I became an expert at surviving in the streets of Gotham, it was a lonely situation I never wanted her to be in.
I sighed and leaned back in my chair, tipping my head back and letting my mind rest for a bit. I tried to shut out all the voices around me, but one conversation coming from the table next to mine piqued my interest.
"I really hope Clara soon comes to view them as her younger sisters. They need all the love and support they can get, not just from us."
"Yeah, I hope so too. But I will be hard, learning to accept twins in her family all of a sudden."
My eyes snapped open and I leaned forward slightly, analysing the scene before me. A couple, around their early 30s, looking as carefree as ever while they sat close to each other and happily discussed their recently adopted children. What a coincidence.
The voice of a young girl suddenly called out, "Mister and Missus Le! Clara just told us this place has chocolate ice cream!" Three little girls ran towards our direction and all of them had big smiles stretched on their faces.
"Ellie, we told you to call us mum and dad. We're all a family now so you don't have to be so polite with us." The man said while patting the seat next to him. "Now sit down and we'll order everyone a serving of chocolate ice cream."
The children all cheered joyfully while he looked over at the woman and they both grinned lovingly at each other.
They formed the beautiful image of a happy family. I felt strange watching them so intently while I sat here by myself. I felt like I was invading on a private, intimate moment. But as I continued to watch them for longer and longer, the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach slowly burned away, and I was left with a gratifying sense of fulfilment.
February 2003
I stood in front of the house that my baby girl would soon call home. She was all wrapped up in a soft, purple blanket that brought out the beautiful green in her eyes. They were closed right now as she peacefully slept in my tight embrace.
The heavy pain in my heart expanded throughout my chest, my arms and legs, and my entire body until my shaking intensified with every breath I took. I slowly crouched down on the house mat and squeezed her in my arms, wishing there was more time.
Planting a kiss on her soft cheek, I whispered the last words I would ever say to my one and only daughter. "Be careful with whom you trust and think through every decision you make in your life. Don't ever forget to stay strong. No matter what happens, I know you're strong enough to overcome it. Please, please stay safe." The words rushed out in one breath.
Willing my shaky hands to be steady, I lowered her onto the mat. I held her tiny hands in my own and tucked a little note halfway in the pocket of her woollen jumper. Then I stood up and rung the doorbell, whispering, "Goodbye, Nora" before running off into the shadows and never looking back.
A/N: Welcome readers, to the first chapter of my new fanfiction. This story will be based on my OC, but this first chapter is just a little explanation of what happened before she was born.
Thank you for reading up to here! Because this is my first fanfiction, I am completely new to the game and would appreciate any kind of constructive review. I'm planning to upload around every two weeks, but that may change based on my workload at school.
So stick around if you find this story interesting:)
- Emmi