supernatural theme

i was walking with my team towards the house and the next thing i knew i felt a wave of heat and i was flying backwards towards some bushes i blackout for a moment because when i looked again gibbs was up and checking on dinozzo and ziva he looked worried as he walked over i hoped it was to check on me but instead he just ordered me to process and he quickly turned and bundles tony and ziva into the car and sped off without so much as a backward glance but i was getting use to it so i got up and retrived the camera and evidence bags and i started after about an hour i felt pain in my back and side but it was nothing to a sharp pain in my chest and when i looked down i could see bits of debris sticking out of me and i assumed they were in my back aswell from the pain when i moved.

i suddenly felt lightheaded and as i was stuck with no cell sevice or a car i finished up my work and sat down as the pain in my chest continued i had a feeling i was hurt bad but there wasnt much i could do so i typed up my report on my phone for who ever came and then i waited hoping gibbs would remember me soon but as the minutes ticked by i was finding it hard to breath and i saw black spots in my vision and i knew i was dying so i left a quick note to the boss that it wasnt his fault and i hoped it would be quick.

the darkness became worse and i was struggling to pull in air when i suddenly felt very sleepy so i lay on my side and closed my eyes and then the black consumed me and my breathing was almost non existent but i fought for a while longer until my body gave out and i guess my heartstopped becaube the next thing i knew i was blinded by white and then when i looked again i was sat looking at my own body.

i sat there with a wierd sence of detatchment from what i was seeing and i stood up and walked around i tried picking up my phone but my hand went straight through and as i looked at my hands thet had a ghostly see throught look to them, and then reality crashed in i was dead this was it nothing else my life was over and i sat and sobbed for awhile and once calm enough all i could do was wait and as i had no time comparison it felt like a very long time until a car pulled up and out stepped agent balboa and his team.

once he noticed my body he ran over and looked horrified at all the glass and debis that was all over but he pushed through and bent over to check my non existent pulse and then he staggered back and ran over to a bush and threw up, as his team realised what they were looking at they followed but balboa managed to recover quickly and called in ducky not saying much except that they had a body and then he phoned the director and updated him, once his team was steady he got them busy, i watched with a strange clinical pov i knew i could do nothing so i mearly watched and hoped gibbs would forgive himself.

sometime later the m.e van was coming up the road but before they got to close balboa motioned for them to stop i walked with him as he walked over and i could tell ducky was nervous and i quessed he had a idea of The news that ric was giving him because he looked befeft before balboa even spoke but he still asked whats wrong agent balboa and ric looked nervously at ducky and told him gibbs and his team were called out here and as far as i know there was a explosion and then gibbs took dinozzo and ziva to the hospital and left mcgee here.

what i dont know is why he only checked in three hours later to inform the office that mcgee was out of cell range and with no transport for him or the evidence so the director sent us out and once we arrived im sorry to say ducky we found agent mcgee dead.

i looked at ducky and jimmy and they were both sobbing while looking at each other as to say what happened,why did gibbs leave him? but i had no answers and ducky the ever professional got back to work he got his bag and sent jimmy around for the gurney and then he walked over to my where i lay, i walked next to him but he stopped when he reached my body and saw the injuries that i had suffered and the blood that had escaped my mouth and he looked both angry and green i guess he was wondering what gibbs was thinking when he left me obviously injured and he crouched down and spoke to my body like he did to all.

oh timothy i wish this hadn't happened and i know once jethro realises he will be bereft, he got to work he probed my liver and informed balboa i had been gone for an hour and once jimmy came over with the gurney he looked green aswell and ran and was sick once he calmed he helped ducky put my body in the black bag and then move it over to the gurney once finished they gently moved it into there van and closed the doors.

once balboa and his team had gathered the evidence of my death and what i had processed they got in there car and left telling ducky they would see him there, then ducky and jimmy got in there van and i hoped in the back hoping i wouldnt just go right through but somehow i stayed and as i listened ducky turned to jimmy and said well Mr palmer lets get our boy home shall we, he replied of course dr mallard and the rest of the trip was silent i felt awful that i had caused all this pain but i knew worse was to come.

we arrived back at ncis and we all got out of the van and i walked with the m.e's because i was still unsure of what i was doing but i hoped i figure it out soon, once we got to autopsy the director was there waiting he somberly greeted ducky and jimmy and asked the doctor to wait till morning and head home he wanted to see just at what point gibbs would worry about mcgee and told them to keep it silent till tomorrow, then he left and they placed my body in a draw and i noticed it was 107 the sameone kate had been in and i was touched by the gesture.

i watched all this and once they left i cried my eyes out what was i suppose to do now i didn't know but i hoped i figure it out and be able to help my team i knew gibbs was hard but it hurt to know that he hadn't even asked if i was ok but i realised i was use to it and that hurt even more and as i sobbed i wondered up to the bullpen and collapsed on my desk and tried to see if i could learn to move things.

i managed to move stuff by the time my team were due in and i could see the director discreetly watching the bullpen i suppose to see if gibbs was worried about me or more worried about my team mates and i kept a little hope that he would worry but i knew gibbs and all he would care about was the rule never be unreachable and i was breaking it he would be furious.

i was right once gibbs walked in and saw my empty desk he was silently steaming and once my it got too late he tried my number and then slamed his phone and practically yells mcgee dame it never be unreachable when you get here you better have an excuse and then i heard vance agent gibbs a problem and gibbs replied well yeah i have a problem leon i have two injured team members and apparently mcgee couldn't care less.

vance was furious i could see it from where i was and he waesnt taking prisoners so he replied back well gibbs are you sure it was two, did you check on agent mcgee before you took off? i could see gibbs fury rising and i knew he was not in the mood for games he bit back well no mcgee was fine he was talking and i had ziva knocked out and tony was wozzy so i bundled them in my car and left i sent another team after him.

vance looked shocked that gibbs had just blantenly told him that he hadn't cared to look at me before he left but he managed to keep him temper well gibbs you were wrong you had three injured team members and had you cared to look you would know that, gibbs looked shocked his agent hurt and he hadn't noticed but he was still stubborn well leon it cant have been bad otherwise i would have been told.

the director was fuming and i could tell we to the point that i dreading but i hoped that the director would be kind and tell gibbs privately and it was like he read my mind come on gibbs you need updating and i need to stretch my legs so he walked gibbs to the lift and i jumped in behind i needed to know if my boss cared or if i was just tech support to him i know it was rude but i was dead so i don't think it mattered.

the lift decended a little and then vance leaned over and stopped the lift and pinced the bridge of his nose he looked bereft and i think gibbs was starting to worry but vance spoke well gibbs im going to be blunt after you left agent mcgee proceed the scene and then had to sit and wait but in that time his injuries which were many had led to probable internal bleeding and even then he had a report on his phone ready to send once he got back in cell service and i recieved it last night but agent mcgee's injuries were to much and he died an hour before help arrived, im sorry gibbs.

i saw they transformation on gibbs face as vance spoke and it would have broke my heart if i was alive, he became pale and looked like he had aged ten years in just a few seconds and he was shaking i had never seen my boss so lost before and i hoped he be ok as he stuttered out a responce, i didnt even look leon, i left him there with no back up and no cell service and all he could do was wait for me to send help and i didn't even remember till hours later and now your telling me he died out there waiting for help that came too late.

im sorry gibbs i know it can't help and there will be an investigation as agent mcgee was visually very injured and even with help he may have died gibbs,i would you like to go see him and face your mistakes gibbs because i won't lie to you, you messed up and im not going to baby you gibbs this will be long and hard but it needs to be done.

vance restarted the lift and even though i thought he was being hard gibbs hadn't spoke so we arrived at autopsy and vance walked over to the draw and opened it then he slip it open to reveal my body still in a bag then he reached oven and unzipped it down to my waist and you could see the damage to my face and my slightly open jacket showed a piece of glass in my chest and lots of other debris peppered my body, it was then ducky walked in and spoke i must say director i still voice my objection and vance sighed yes im aware but please roll agent mcgee on his side i need gibbs to realise his mistake.

they rolled my body and i was right it was covered in dirt,glass and a huge piece of metal was in my hip i looked awful and gibbs ran over and was sick in the sink, even vance looked green but he managed to keep it together and i sobbed i couldn't belive how much this was effecting my boss he was a hard ass marine that never showed weekness but here he was sobbing and throwing up over my death, i think i understood now what i was suppose to do i was going to help gibbs get through this and hoped i could help.

gibbs asked the director for a moment and the director nodded and left and then ducky spoke im sorry jethro i was against this and i wanted to tell you but vance wanted to see your reaction to timothy not being here and i guess by that desplay that it didn't go well but i will tell you im here if you need to talk and he left which just left me my body and gibbs.

my boss walked back over to my body and hovered knowing he couldn't touch as my autopsy hadn't been done yet but he still spoke which surprised me oh tim im so sorry i didn't even give you a second of my attention and you paid the price and i can never be sorry enough but i hope you'll forgive me and then he closed the bag and closed the drawer and hovered over the door and smiled slightly at least you have company, then he left.

i wondered after him hoping my presence would help but i knew gibbs didn't notice he just wondered aimlessly and everyone was avoiding him, he eventually went outside and sat at a bench that i often had and stared at the water and we sat their silently for hours but eventally he looked done and we walked back in to the building and gibbs went straight up to the directors office.

i wondered in again not sure if this was helping but i was determined to help if i could and i needed to know as much as possible so i listened and watched as a upset gibbs walked in and waited for the director to speak and he soon did well gibbs im sorry for the way things have gone but i needed you to understand how much you messed up and be aware there will be consicences for your lack of action, im not sure how much yet but once i have the autopsy report and have all the facts in hand until then gibbs im suspending you.

gibbs looked like he knew where vance was going but when vocalised gibbs looked ashen and i needed to make sure he didn't go home and eat a bullet so i followed him as we left the building and then to his car, gibbs drove in silence and i tried talking but gibbs couldn't hear me i felt frustrated but i could still move somethings so that was what i would do until gibbs went back to work and hope the team and ducky could help him aswell.

we arrived back at gibbs house and he went straight down to the basement, picked up his bourbon and drank straight from the bottle as he walked around the boat he had going on then he put down his bottle and picked up a bat and started smashing the boat and yelling at himself in between sobs and hiccups i heard stupid house,stupid bomb and stupid me what sort of agent am i and this one worried me but i would do what i could to help. first i tipped the bottle over so he couldn't get to drunk and then i found a photo of the team and basicaly threw it down and this final got his attention and he walked over and picked it up, he had a little smile then im guessing remembering that day and the fun we had but then it turned into more sobs and once he finished he crawled upstairs and collapsed onto the couch,he was out quickly.

the next day gibbs woke and looked around with very bloodshot eyes and stumbled into the kitchen, he put on his coffee and ran the sink and splashed water on his face, i hoped today would be ok and maybe find someone who could hear me i needed help and would try everyone, once gibbs had his coffee he went and got dressed and then he walked to his car i followed again and we soon made it to the hospital and we were directed to the teams room, gibbs took a breath and walked in once we opened the door we soon heard arguing and ziva as usual treatening to harm him with things in a multitude of ways, tony was quoting films and looked up hey boss what you doing here.

dinozzo, ziva how u feeling? im fine gibbs thanks was ziva's reply and dinozzo's yeah boss all good you know me a little concussion wont stop me but ill ask again boss why you here? shoudnt you be at work shouting at probie and making him help abby, he never did know when to stop talking but gibbs let him ramble and that was a sign that things were bad again dinozzo spoke boss what is it, is it abby or ducky please boss just tell us whats going on.

i realised again that he hadn't even thought i could be hurt and again it stung and it was like a knife in my back everytime but i still preserved and stuck to my first instincts and i would help gibbs, he spoke again then well i know you two were pretty out of it when we left the scene yesturday but what you don't know is there was no cell service and i took the only car and i barely looked at mcgee as i barreled you two in the car and told him to process the scene because if i had i would have seen he was badly injured.

he paused then and looked at both tony and ziva, ziva looked ready to flee but tony just sat there like there wasn't a care in the world and i could see gibbs anger ignite at the lack of worry but then he pushed it well boss it can't be that bad mcbobo never gets hurt and you would have noticed so where is the baby getting waited on by abby? but ziva had more sense and asked gibbs is mcgee ok, can i go see him?

i cried again then i knew tony never thought much of me but that was beyond callous and bless ziva i know we had our ups and downs but i was glad she still cared for me and was saddened again when i realised what the news would do to her, gibbs held his hand up tony for once just shut up ive had enough and if you though for just a second you would realise i said he was badly injured and i was so preoccupied with you two who have minor injuries i never noticed.

tony did stay quite but ziva wasn't afraid just tell us where is mcgee? is he going to be ok? gibbs paused and finally dinozzo looked nervously at ziva and ziva herself looked worried but i was ready for denile and hearbreak once gibbs spoke again and he finally found his voice but it sounded broken and bereft once he did, well im to beat around the bush he had debris and shrapnal all over his body and tons in his back aswell but the worst of it was a glass shard that pierced his chest im sorry guys but he died on scene a hour before anyone even got to him.

he stopped then and i saw ziva start crying and mumbling hebrew while twiddling her necklace and tony looked like he wanted to deny everything but one look on gibbs face you could see his own grief but tony still spoke but boss why was he waiting so long? gibbs answered sounding even worse because tony i forgot about him till three hours later and during that time mcgee proceed the scene and wrote a report on his phone even as he was dying he did his job and what did i do i looked after you two and then yesturday i yelled and shoshou at mcgee's voicemail about never being unreachable but never once worrying that mcgee was never late and vance basically frog marched me to autopsy to face what i hadn't at the scene that mcgee was visually hurt and i hadnt even cared to look or ask.

gibbs paused then and i could sence the anger and ziva seconds later how could you gibbs? how could you leave someone who only looks after other in such a postion where they were abandoned and alone, she paused and turned away but you could still see her shoulders hitch in silent sobs but dinozzo shocked me gibbs you know i love you like a dad but to do that to someone without so much as a second thought it bafulls me i knew mcgee thought he was at the bottom of gibbs care for people list but i always said no probie he loves you he just doesnt understand you and he would stand there and say ok tony if you think so and we would leave it until it came up again and we repeat the process but now im left wondering if mayhe he was right because if that was anyone else you would have stopped and check but never with mcgee and he always wanted to know why, well now im asking why gibbs? why treat him that way? then he turned away.

i couldnt understand what was going on but i needed help fast otherwise the team would lose gibbs and i knew that was a loss that no one could recover from but i was torn i needed to stay with gibbs but i also needed help i stayed in my mind and automatically followed my boss, while i was thinking maybe just shout And see if anyone answers but i didnt want to scare anyone and then it hit me ducky he talked to the dead maybe it wouldnt shock him hoping he would hear but knowing if not i would write a note for him while he was sat there hoping he would forgive me i made my plans for when gibbs went to work next.

gibbs was almost robotic in his movements after the visit with the team and i was really concerned about my boss and hoped vance wouldn't be hard on him but i knew that after the show last time that was a slim hope, i followed gibbs as he wondered back home and curled up on the sofa he was sobbing again and i wished he could hear me so i could help and tell him is was my fault, i knew by know they had probably found my note and had finished the autopsy on my body and vance was probably going to call in gibbs soon for the report and i would take my chance and hope gibbs went to see me first.

i was right gibbs got a call about an hour later and asked if he could stop quickly before they meet and then he hung up and dragged his feet to his car and i jumped in, we drove at the usual breakneck speed and arrived back at the navy yard not long later and i was right he stopped in autopsy and saw ducky who looked awful and was rubbing his glasses, gibbs asked for a moment and ducky just nodded and walked to his office,gibbs walked over to my draw and opened it and this time there was a sheet covering my body which he gently folded down just below my face and then he smoothed my hair and rubbed his thumb over my forehead and spoke oh tim im so sorry this was all my fault and i hope you will fogive me, im proud of you son so you rest well and say hi to kate for us will you and then he lent over and kissed my forehead and then slid me back.

once he left for vance i ran into ducky's office and hoped he could hear me and then hoped he forgive me if i scared him so i spoke ducky can you hear me? and he turned startled timothy i was reliped yeah ducky its me im sorry if i scared you, he looked so confused my boy where are you? im standing right next to you ducky and im not sure what happened but no on else appears to be able to hear me, ducky looked both relived and frightened but he still spoke oh timothy its so good to hear you im sorry your stuck, have you figured out how to move on? i replied i think so ducky but i need your help and quick otherwise i think the boss will go home and eat a bullet and im really scared i don't want anyone else to die or get hurt.

he looked up then and i could see determination spark well of course ill help just tell me what you need my boy and lets get to work, ok i replied i need you to call everyone in and then go up to vance's office with your phone as quick as you can and stop what ever vance has planned and hopfully ill take it from here and he got straight to work as he walked he phoned eveyone on a group chat and ordered them to the directors office and then he quickly hung up and i asked him to leave his phone out as i would need it and we swiftly arrived at vance's door the assistent tried to stall ducky but he just barreled right in to a very angry director and a confused gibbs but it was the director that spoke what going on this is a private meeting please explain and ducky spoke back im sorry director but ill explain in just a moment once the rest get here.

everyone came in and i told ducky to ask for a secure room and then to hold out his phone and i prayed work, the director did as asked and then spoke ok dr mallard were all ears what is going on and ducky spoke again then well director im not sure if anyone will belive this but timothy's spirit is still with us and is able to speak to me and he asked for this meeting and my phone im not sure what he has planned but hope you will have patience for a moment.

they all looked at each other wondering if ducky was mad so i reached over and picked up ducky's phone and wrote a message hi everyone and i saw 7 very shocked faces and they all sort of stood there gaping at i guess looked like a hovering phone and my message and when they found their voices it was almost all at the same time i got probie,mcgee,timmy,agent mcgee and tim off of those around and i typed a new message hi all i'm sorry for interupting director but i hope you forgive me and then i watched as they read the message and vance replied well agent mcgee considering the circumstances i think you can be forgiven, i replied thank you director.

gibhs and the team were all looking at each other like they had gone mad and i still had work to do so i started typing as quick as i could right i need to get everything settled it my fault im dead no one elses i hadnt realised i was injured and didnt stop my boss leaving, please forgive gibbs and help him through this, don't let anyone else suffer for my death because if you all carry on blaming gibbs then i know he will eat a bullet and the team would never recover from another loss if you want someone to blame let it be me and do what families do and be there for each other and dont let anger and grife guide your actions because if i have any say then thats what we always will be.

i passed the phone to vance and he read and i hoped it was enough to help since he finished he passed it around and then spoke well agent mcgee you may blame yourself but agent gibbs was still responsible for checking you for injuries and not just worrying about the others and responsible also responsible for sending help which he didnt even remember till 3hours later because had he done so quickly you may still be alive, because the phone was still being passed around i replied through ducky director while that is true i don't think i would have survived either way and yes gibbs was wrong but he had two visually out team members and then he had me who was up and talking and i think you need to give gibbs a bit of leyway please director even if its the last thing i get please show mercy.

while we spoke the others has silently read my message and then finally the phone was passed to ducky who held it out to me and i was ready for questions hoping for that this would help the team get back on a even keel and they would forgive gibbs for my death, the first one as always was tony and i could see he was torn about what to ask but we waited and he eventally spoke, probie im um not to sure what to ask but have you heen around all this time? i answer yes tony but ive been with gibbs because once he found out i kmew he would take it hard and i needed to make sure he didnt do anything stupid and i tried talking to the rest of you but no one heard and my last hope was ducky im so glad he heard me because i was getting desperate and then ziva asked, so mcgee have you figured out how to end this limbo state you have found yourself in and i chuckle and answer i think so ziva, i help you guys forgive gibbs and come back together as a cohisive family unit.

they paused and absorbed the news and then abby cut in, oh timmy i cant belive your dead and we will never get to see you again are you safe do you think in this state? i answered oh abby i know but death its something you have to expect being a field agent because everytime we step out we could die and thats why its so important to enjoy the moments in life you get, abby i dont think anything worse can happen to me hopfully i can help and then go where ever people go when they die and ill say hi to all those we lost before please dont he sad and know even when i am gone i will always be in your heart, i finished and abby balled some more and ducky brought her in to a hug and i hoping it helped, i turned to the director then and asked if he got my report and note from the scene he nodded yes and i asked if he could exept that some of what happened was my fault and not to put all his blame on gibbs, vance studded the message and then nodded.

gibbs final spoke then and he sounded so broken and lost and i could see everyone was shocked by the state of his voice and then the looked like they were studying him and i knew they finally realised what a bad way gibbs was in his clothes were rumpled he had dark circles under his eyes and he haden't shaved so he had a scraggely beard but we all stopped and listened, mcgee,tim im sorry i never even paused to look at you at the scene and that will haunt me for a long time but im glad you forgive me enough to watch over me but when you are given the chance go ok we will be ok eventally and i dont want you to be stuck in this limbo forever, can you do that for me please tim and i felt like crying and told him i would as long as he fought to live and he just nodded and i finally felt relived.

the team came back slowly then and i watched my own funeral and all the kind words that people i jad meet said and then my team who were always my second family and then it was over and i was still stuck i floated around helping where i could and watched as gibbs created a new boat he named probie and then he pulled the whole team out on to the water once it was finished and i went with them and we all had a fantastic time when i heard voices in the distance and then slowly a light appeared and i knew i could go so i quickly told ducky who nodded sadly but didnt speak and then i stood up and walked forward but just before i entered i shounted goodbye to my team and then i was gone to see what happened once we died.

gibbs pov

we were on the water and i saw ducky nods sadly and then nothing until i swore i heard mcgees voice tell us by and when i looked up i caught a glimpse of a figure walking towards some other people and i knew that he had final found his peace and i hoped it he would be happy there and that one day i could forgive myself for this loss because even though everyone around me and even tim himself had said a million times i couldnt change what happened i still wondered if i hadnt been so blinded by the others being hurt would i have stopped this awful chain of events and saved a bright young mans life and those what ifs ate at me but i fought evey day because i had promised i would and each day became slightly easier to find the courage to

keep living for my team and for tim.

the end