Feathers
"Hmm? Kato, your back," Kira says as I walk in, I shut the door behind me even though I know we're completely alone. The loft as always been empty, and other than a few jerks I hang out with, Kira's usually the only one here.
He breaths out a puff of smoke, it billows up and out the window, he'd moved his chair to the window yet again so he could smoke without filling the place.
"It's fucking freezing outside, close the window," I said. He has a natural smile that's always on his face, he plucks the cigarette from his mouth and tosses it out the window. A book in his hand. He always was smart, I knew that, smarter than me, and yet he still has be around. Idiot.
"Forget something?" he says, his eyes not leaving the page, they simultaneously cross the page as he lifts a tiny bag half filled with a white powder. Tch. I walk over and grab it, shoving it un one of my pockets before sitting down on the wide table that always sits beside wall, it's directly behind his chair, why, I have no clue. As I lean back a sigh escapes.
"Forget something else?" he asks, I hear the page turn. There's a tall vase, square from top to bottom with a glass top a few inches away from me, I take it and uncap it.
"Or are you sulking again?" He asks, an obvious smirk on his face, I take some feathers in hand, white and black ones like pepper. I drop them above the container and watch as they fall, a few miss the vase and flutter to the ground.
"Kato?"
"I'm not sulking," I say, picking up one that had landed on my thigh and blow it, it flies up and goes over the chair. A second later it's blown back.
"You can't stay here tonight, Setsuna's coming." He says. I get up, a few feathers fall to the ground.
"What's so great about him?" I demand, facing him in the chair. He doesn't look up. "I don't know what you mean." Is all he says.
"Dammit Kira, you know what I mean," I rip the book from his hand, he's acting just like Mother, avoiding the question.
"Don't be so childish Kato," he says, looking up at me, his cold glassy eyes making me shiver. The window's still open, I slam it shut.
"Fuck you," I say, backing off, I cross my arms, I should have worn something warmer, but I was too pissed off to go back in the house after what I'd done to Sae. I kick the wall. I'm to tired to deal with this now, but something in the back of my mind is making me act, I want an answer.
"Kato," he says, I whip around, he's standing right behind me, I'm about to hit him, to blow up in his face and get the hell out of here, but I can't seem to do that.
I grab his shirt collar and press my lips to his, this is it. Revenge for being ignored, for being treated like shit since I was born.
No, Kira wasn't like that. He'd always let me in, he's never hurt me like Father. So why… am I taking this out on him?
I let him go and step back. Great, I feel like a child.
"Kato, I'm sorry." He says, I look up, glaring.
"Shut the fuck up," I say, turning around and leaving, slamming the damn door so freaking hard I hoped it'd break. Asshole, jerk, idiot! Why did everything have to be like this!?
I stop halfway down the second flight of stairs, choking on tears that threaten. Idiot! I'm such an idiot! A tear escapes. Light from the moon floods in through a hole in the roof over the middle of the stairs. Looking up a feather floats down, a white one. Did he follow me? I stand still and listen, nothing. Stupid, he apologized, why would he follow me?
Catching the feather I studied it for a moment, the tip was black. How appropriate.
Kira's bad but not like me, he would never sully himself as I have. I'm tainting him.
Shoving it in my pocket I go down the last set of steps and burst out into the freezing night air. I exhale the breath I didn't know I was holding and let the tears fall.
This is my punishment for all the wrong I've done.
Something cold touches my arm, big fluffy tufts of snow slowly, gently fell. Through the tears they looked like feathers. I wipe my eyes and start running through the falling snow. Feathers.