When he opens the door to his apartment, he knows that there is no way he's going to stay there. Glass is everywhere, bullet holes litter his walls and floor, and the forensics squats lingering presence feels like his privacy is gone.
He feeds Kate, grabs his back-up bag and makes another one-eighty, this one much easier than the last. Tony drives around the city for hours, picks up a coffee every hour so he can stay awake.
When night falls he ends up at Gibbs' place. The door is open as always.
His bag goes into the closet where he always dumps his stuff. He sees that Abby left her spare set the last time she had a sleep-over here.
The basement is empty when he checks, so he walks out back. His boss sits on the porch with a beer in his hand, a second one next to him. Tony knows it's meant for him.
They sit in silence. Tony knows Ziva called like she promised. It's obvious in the way Gibbs plays with the phone in his hand. He wonders what she said, but knows that now is not the time to pry.
He didn't know it was possible, but they sit there for seven hours. That's when McGee calls Gibbs because there's a new case. No one but the two men know that Ziva isn't coming back, and unless Abby has a permanent trace on Tony, they don't know he is back either.
They get in one car, Gibbs' this time, and make it to the Navy Yard in six minutes. It's when Tony is half-way out off the car and Gibbs is still seated that he figures out their crime scene is not there.
"Gibbs," Tony questions hesitantly.
"You're not cleared for the field," Gibbs replies in a gruff voice. DiNozzo is distracted and grieving, that's a dangerous combination when bullets start flying.
He wants to argue, but Gibbs is already driving away.
When he gets to the bullpen it's deliciously silent. The other team is also out or free, and everyone else isn't in yet.
Instead of starting the preliminary investigation, he pulls up a map of DC. He steadily ignores Ziva's desk, which has been cleared out and used by others by now.
He finds Gibbs' house and marks it. Tony steadily moves through the whole team, marking Abby's house, Palmer's and all the others, ending with a blue dot to mark the office where he is sitting.
Funnily enough, the locations form an almost perfect circle. He locates the neighborhood in the middle of the other homes, and opens a separate tab to search for real estate pages in that area.
He finds the perfect house, and wastes no time with putting in an offer.
Tony never had the funds to buy a house, but ever since Senior got back in business, he has been sending his son checks to make up for Tony's childhood. He has been dumping those in a drawer, but plans to use it wisely now.
It only takes a day to hear back from the agent, who says the bid has been accepted by the house's owners.
He spends the next months decorating his new home. In between cases and breakdowns, he manages to finish the final touches three months after getting the key.
The final touch is a small ceramic plate with a simple riddle:
525600 Minutes
How do you measure a year?
In daylights? In sunsets?
In midnights? In cups of coffee?
In inches? In miles?
In laughter? In strife?
They are the lyrics from one of his favorite songs, and the answer really isn't that hard, but he is determined to keep it there. It reminds him of not only her, but of Kate and Jenny as well.
To keep himself busy, he counts his cups of coffee, just because that's something that is so them. Him and her, him and the team. Exactly one year after his plane lands, he's drunk 1586 cups of coffee. It's probably about half of what Gibbs drinks, but Tony has extra sugar in his, which keeps him alert and annoyingly jittery.
He hadn't heard from her once, hadn't expected to. Tony knows that she checks in with Gibbs once a month, just with a simple text to let them know she's still alive and safe.
He tries guessing where she is, and knows somehow that he is right when he places her in Berlin on the one-year-anniversary of their last meeting. He considers meeting her there, but knows she must come to him this time.
So he waits.
He drinks another 3015 cups of coffee with a couple of pounds of sugar before she comes home.