HELLO, OURAN HOST CLUB SECTION!!!!!!! I've been wanting to get up a OHC FanFic for a while now, and now that I finally do, I have to post a disclaimer. I don't own OHC, It's characters, or anything else they could sue me for. OK, now that that's over, here's:

CHAPTER I
A Fresh New Start

"Hol...E...Crap..."

As I stood outside the monsterous castle that was Ouran High School, I couldn't help but drool over it's magnificence. My sister nudged me out of my trance and said, "Hey Wolfe, are we going in or not?" As I gathered my books, I replied, " Yeah, yeah, calm down Selly." As we went into the school to read over the Terms of Service (Hey, it's Ouran we're talking about here!), we found out that none of the rooms were open. And when I mean open, I mean SILENT!!!! Everywhere we went, the Library, Music rooms, everywhere was crowed with loud spoiled rich kids! After we searched the school over, we found out that the East wing was the most silent. We checked it out, and found the Third Music Room. Selly was about to open the door, but I stopped her just before she touched the doorknob. "Listen", I said, "There might be other people talking in here. If I go into another one of those rooms and hear nothing but talking, I'm gonna go INSANE!!!!!!" She gave me a skeptical look and said, "And you're not already?" Ignoring the urge to kick her, I opened the door with caution, and when I heard no sound, I opened it full force. And I guess you know what happens when you go into the Third Music Room...

"Welcome to the Host Club!"

As we entered the room, we saw 6 High School Students, most of them Freshman, in a Midieval-type wardrobe. Before we could even say anything (and I was about to rocket out of there as fast as I could), the doors closed behind us, and the person who appeared to be the "King" said, "Hm? What do we have here? A young Middle School student and a..." I answered angrily, "A not-gay Freshman looking for a place where him and his sister can read over these damned TOS guidelines!" Apparently, they got where I was coming from. However, they "insisted" that Selly request a Host. "How can someone so charming be inclined to come here without requesting a Host?" Kingie was getting too nosy for his own good, but Selly came back with, "Well, when you transfer here from another school and your idiot brother drops the school map in a manhole, you tend not to notice these things. Plus, it's quiet in here." Before the King could "insist" more, I asked, "Hey, this is fun and all, but there's just one question I've been wanting to ask for a while now: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOUR NAMES?!?!?!?!?" The King finally got up from his "throne" and said, "Ah, yes. I am Tamaki, leader of the Host Club." The one with glasses said, "I am Ootoro Kyoyu, pleased to meet you." The twins said, "Hitachiin Hikaru and Kaoru, pleased to meet you!" The really tall one muttered, "...Mori." Finally, the last one said, "Fujioka Haruhi, a pleasure to meet you." As he said that, I noticed something in him that just wasn't... masculine. I looked into his eyes, and that's when I realized...

"There are girls in the Host Club?"

Everyone froze, and tried (very crappily, might I add) to defend Haruhi's gender. I just stood there, tapping my foot in agrivation. After they realized I had them pegged, Hikaru (at least, I THINK it was Hikaru...) said, "How could you tell that Haruhi was a girl?" I shrugged and said, "Well, her eyes are a dead giveaway." They all gave me a blank stare, so I explained, "Well... when you look into a person's eyes, you can see a lot of things. Thing is, there is always one thing that stays the same, and it's different between genders. If it's a boy, there's a certain sharpness to it. If it's a girl, there's a bit of a softness to it. So, you get... it... now... ok, WHAT in the hell are you guys doing?" They all circled Haruhi, trying to find the detail that could tell them it was a girl, but to no avail (Man, I've always wanted to say that!). After they realized they couldn't see it, and before they came whining to me about it, I said, "Yeah, it only works if you don't already know the gender of the person. If you know, then the detail doesn't show."

After a few hours of straightening things out with the Moron Host Club, me and Selly were able to start (and finish) the TOS, and no one got hurt... until I tried to leave. Someone thought the Host Club was open and burst through the door, knocking me back into a pedestal that held, you guessed it, a priceless Ming Vase. And I'm guessing you know what it totals up to...

"800,000,000 YEN?!?!?!?!?"

Tamaki comes over to me, helps me up, and says, "Well, I guess the auction's over with. However, to pay back your damages, you will have to-" I interrupt angrily and say, "Yeah yeah, I know, be the Host Club's dog for the rest of my time here to pay back the damages." Tamaki had a puzzled look on his face, then said, "Actually, I was gonna see if you wanted to wprk it off as a game tester, but that's a wonderful idea!"

Today was not a good day for me...

Sorry if it was a bit on the short side, I kinda wanted to get this up as soon as I could. Don't worry, other better, longer chapters will be following soon!

Wolfe ;P