Rules for the Epic T-Rated Contest
1. No lemons. Must be rated 'T.'
2. Has to have a line or reference to a cannibal.
3. Has to have a line or reference to a fireman.
4. All canon pairings.
5. Has to be a one-shot, but is allowed to be continued once the contest is finished.
6. Must copy/paste these rules to the top of your submission. Two entries per person. Collaborations acceptable.
7. Must PM Bronzehairedgirl620 to alert her of your entry so she can add your story to the C2 if it fits the requirements.
"We live in a very weird city."
He raises an eyebrow. "You just figured that out?"
"Quit being a smartass, Edward."
"I'm sorry. Please, Bella, tell me what makes the lovely city of Seattle so strange."
"Okay, so this morning I was waiting for the light to change at a crosswalk, just minding my own business, and this homeless guy comes up to me-"
"How did you know he was homeless?"
"He looked homeless. May I please continue?"
"Go ahead."
I glare at him for a second before resuming my story. "Anyway, the homeless guy asks me—and these are his words, mind you, not mine—for a quarter and a blow job."
He bursts out laughing. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's just-" He starts laughing again.
I wait for him to calm down. "After I do what any sane person would do and say no, he says to me 'I want to fucking roast your ass and eat it for lunch.'"
He does the eyebrow thing again. "You're telling me that you were propositioned by a bizarre hybrid of a deranged cannibal and a fireman."
"Yes, which means that when my mother calls tonight and asks about my day, I can tell her I encountered the result of Guy Montag mating with Hannibal Lecter."
"You're right, Seattle is a very weird city."