The Guide to the Emo-Avenger Bastard: Sasuke Uchiha
Chapter 1- Introduction
Hi, I'm Sakura Haruno and I'll be your guide into Sasuke's head and mind. I'll tell you everything you need to know about him. I was oh so nicely convinced by Tenten after the astounding success of "The Guide to the Cold-hearted Bastard: Neji Hyuga," that she decided that there needed to be a version for Sasuke. Yeah right, who am I kidding, Tenten threatened me with her pointy weapons of doom to do it and I felt sorry for her because she was going to get hunted down by Neji if she didn't. Now that we've cleared up any confusions, lets get to the point. I know all you Neji's fangirls are probably here after the heart-wrenching news that Neji got with a girl…not just any girl. The girl that gave you the tips to get the guy…then took him for her self, the one the only Tenten! And then the more wrenching news that the wing in the hospital for fangirls suddenly expanded that day, due to massive weapon injuries…its so painful isn't it. And now all of you are here to try you're luck at Sasuke. HA! clears throat That was mean, let me try it again in a nicer way, HAHAHA!!! Yes, that's nicer than the other one. Yes, I'm slightly nicer than Tenten and no I will not spare you any pity. Now that is done let my layout how this guide will work.
The format is similar to last times except for one less part, the family part, because he has no family. Cut the sobbing until after I'm done talking, will you? Thank you, now continuing on, there will be two sections: how to be his friend and how to be his girlfriend. I think that's simple enough. Now I'll see you next time.
Bidding adieu,
Sakura Haruno