Encounters After Farpoint

'Would you like a cup of tea?'

'Please.'

The counsellor handed him a steaming cup of Earl Grey. He was slightly unsettled by this; if she'd researched his tea preferences, what else did she know about him?

'Thank you, counsellor.'

She was regarding him thoughtfully over the top of her PADD. 'As you know,' she said. 'It's standard procedure for me to go through a quick psych test with each member of the crew on a new ship.'

'I'm aware of that.'

'Well, you've been proving elusive, Captain. I've already spoken to every other crewmember aboard the ship and made three appointments to see you. Which you've cancelled.' He couldn't work out if her tone was amused or accusatory. Also, he was worried about what Beverly might have said to her.

'I'm sorry if I've inconvenienced you, Counsellor. I've been rather busy. Our trip to Farpoint Station didn't exactly go as planned.'

'No,' she agreed. 'It didn't. And Q certainly gave us plenty to think about.'

'Yes,' he said, trying to sound sincere. He hadn't been thinking of Q though. He'd been thinking of Beverly. He hadn't expected her to turn up and dealing with her presence was a whole lot harder than solving the mystery of Farpoint Station. The moment she'd walked onto the bridge, he'd felt that hold she had over him. Of course, he'd never really been free of her, but sometimes when she was thousands of light years away, he could go for an entire day without thinking about her.

The counsellor was speaking again. 'How are you finding your new ship?'

'Unexpectedly crowded,' he felt like saying. Out loud, he said 'Fine. She's a good ship. I'm lucky to be here.'

'You don't miss the Stargazer?'

Miss the Stargazer? How could he ever miss the Stargazer? It was a haunted ship, filled with the terrible sound of Jack's last scream and the even worse sound of Beverly's stunned silence when he'd told her of the accident. 'No, I don't miss the Stargazer.'

'Not at all? It would be natural to miss it a little.'

'Not at all.' All he saw when he was on the bridge of that ship Jack's face on that last day, Jack's eyes filled with the knowledge of something Picard had kept a secret for so long.

Perhaps frustrated with his monosyllabic answers, the counsellor tried a different line of questioning. 'And how are you finding you new crew? And W…' she hesitated and corrected herself 'Commander Riker in particular?'

He looked at her with some concern. This was a ship of raw feelings. He wasn't the only one finding this new assignment difficult. 'Commander Riker seems like a fine officer.' He paused, unsure of how to phrase what he wanted to say next. He hardly knew this woman. It felt wrong to be talking about these sorts of things with her. 'You had some concerns about working with Riker…' He left the sentence hanging in the air, unfinished.

She shifted somewhat uncomfortably in her chair. 'The last time Commander Riker and I…met things didn't go according to plan, but that's behind us now. We're back to being friends.'

'If there's anything I can help with…' He had no idea how he could help her, but it seemed right to offer.

She smiled and it was a dazzling smile. 'It's alright, sir. We'll work it out.'

There was a pause. She wrote something on her PADD. He gazed around her office somewhat awkwardly. She'd made some effort to decorate. There was a lot of pink, but, it was largely as bare as the rest of the ship. Everywhere had an unfinished air at the moment. Everyone still needed to settle in, to get used to their new roles.

'How about the rest of the crew?' she asked and then paused. He knew what she'd say next even before she said it. After all, she'd spoken to Beverly. 'Are you happy with the medical staff for example?'

She was trying and failing to make it sound like a casual inquiry. He decided to come straight to the point. 'She told you then?'

'Who told me what?'

'Bev…' Now it was his turn to hesitate. Apparently finding the correct names for people was going to be a problem on this ship. 'Dr. Crusher told you that I asked if she wanted to request a transfer.'

'She did mention it, yes. I was curious as to why. She has an outstanding service record.'

So Beverly hadn't told the counsellor that they knew each other. It seemed a strange piece of information to withhold, but then Beverly always had been a very private person. It was one of the many things they had in common. He took a deep breath, wondering how to explain his relationship with Beverly to this stranger. He finally settled for 'I knew her husband.'

'Knew him?'

'Yes, he…' it was still painful to say even after all these years. 'He was killed while under my command on the Stargazer.'

'And you thought if might be hard for Dr. Crusher to work with you?'

'Yes.' It wasn't a lie. It just wasn't the whole truth either. It was far from being the whole truth. For a moment, he was tempted to tell this woman everything. There was something about her which seemed to invite people to open up, to confide their darkest secrets, but there were some things which he'd never told anyone and never would tell anyone.

'Now that she's decided to stay, how do you feel about her being here? It might be hard for you too.'

He stared at the Counsellor, remembering suddenly that she was half Betazoid. She was an empath, but not a telepath, she could read his emotions, but not his thoughts. How much did she know? He decided to act as if she didn't know anything and let her lead the conversation. 'I respect her decision to stay and I'm pleased to have such an experienced officer on my crew.'

The Counsellor was smiling at him again. 'That's a very textbook answer, Captain.'

'Textbook?'

'I think you're telling me what I want to hear so that we can get this psych test over with as soon as possible.'

She really was perceptive. 'That's really not how I feel, Counsellor,' he lied.

Her dark eyes were sceptical, but she gave in. 'Alright then, let's talk about something else. Do you have any concerns about being on this new ship? Any concerns at all?'

He had a million concerns and Beverly was chief among them. How was he going to stand being so close to her? 'No concerns, Counsellor.'

'Ok then.' Again, he got the impression that she didn't entirely believe him.

She was passing him something now, a card covered in ink blots. 'Tell me what you see.'

As if by magic, the ink blots re-arranged themselves into the shape of Beverly's face. He stared in surprise.

'Captain?'

Quickly, he tried to think of an answer which she couldn't read too much into. 'An open book.'

'That's a very positive image.' Was that an undercurrent of laughter in her voice? 'Some might say a little too positive to be real.' She smiled at him again and this time he smiled back, almost as if they were co-conspirators.

'I'm going to say some words,' she said 'and I want you to say the first thing that comes into your head. Does that make sense?'

'Yes,' he hated word association games.

'Let's start with some colours. Blue.' An image of Beverly's eyes sprang into his mind 'The sky,' he said.

'Red.'

Beverly's hair. Was the Counsellor doing this deliberately? 'Carrots.'

'Green.'

Beverly had worn a green dress to a formal dinner at Starfleet Academy. He'd spent the whole evening trying not to stare. 'Grass.'

'OK, let's try places now. We'll start with your home town. La Barre.'

Jack had visited him all the time in La Barre, but Beverly had never come. He regretted that. Beverly would love it there and he'd love to show it to her. He gave the most generic answer he could think of 'Childhood.'

'Paris.'

Beverly and Jack in a Parisian café, laughing at something he's said. They were sat outside and the wind was blowing Beverly's hair around her face. 'The Eiffel Tower.'

The Counsellor raised an eyebrow and he realised that he needed to be a little less generic. 'Starfleet Academy. Don't say 'lessons'.

That brought a smile to his face. 'Boothby,' he said 'the gardener.' Boothby was the second thing he'd thought of. The first had been the stab of jealousy he'd felt the first time he saw Jack kissing Beverly. They'd been in one of the empty classrooms at the Academy and he'd walked in unexpectedly.

'San Francisco.'

'Beverly's office at Starfleet medical.' He'd spoken without thinking and now the words hung there between them. He wished he could unsay them, he wished she would pretend that she hadn't heard him. 'I…I spent quite a lot of time there,' he tried to explain. 'At Starfleet Medical, I mean…'

The Counsellor was watching him closely for perhaps the first time. She took a breath, as though she wanted to ask a question, but they were interrupted by the sound of the ship's communication system. Riker voice was in the room. 'Riker to Picard.'

'Picard here,' he said, grateful for the interruption.

'We've just received a distress signal from the USS Tseilkovsky.'

'On my way. Picard out.' He turned to the counsellor. 'Coming, Counsellor?' he asked.

There was a strange look in her eyes and he realised that it had been there ever since she'd heard Riker's voice.

'Counsellor Troi?'

She seemed to come back to herself. 'Sorry, captain.' She stood and they walked out into the corridor together. 'And it's Deanna.'

'Sorry?'

'I like people to use my first name. It's friendlier.'

'I'm not usually on first names terms with my crew.'

'It's what I prefer for my patients.' The look she shot him was mischevious.

'Deanna it is then.'

Side by side, they walked towards the bridge and that was when he saw it; a flash of blue coat and red hair exiting the turbolift ahead of them. All at once, he found that he was short of breath. She was walking towards them, her demeanour completely professional. 'Deanna,' she said, nodding to the counsellor. Then she turned to him 'Jean-Luc.' Her voice was like warm silk and he couldn't think of a reply.

Once she'd gone past, the Counsellor turned to him, confusion on her beautiful features. 'I thought you weren't on first name terms with your crew.'

Embarrassed, he muttered 'She's an exception.'