Here's that one-shot I promised everyone. Enjoy!
"I hate you!" Edward lunged at Colonel Roy Mustang, only to have Alphonse wrap his large metal arms around the older brother's waist, stopping him from catapulting over the superior officer's desk. "Call me small ONE MORE TIME-"
"My, my Fullmetal. What a short fuse you have," the Colonel replied, a self-satisfied smirk spread across his face.
"I'LL JAM MY FIST DOWN YOUR THROAT," Edward roared, struggling against Alphonse's tight embrace.
"Brother, please…," the suit of armor began.
"No, Al! Let me go! I'll kill him! I'LL KILL HIM!" He continued to flail in vain, arms extended toward the Colonel's throat, his hands ineffectively groping at the air.
The Colonel, realizing that no harm would come to him, continued to taunt the poor boy, adding fuel to the already potent flames.
The provocation ended a few minutes later, however; as the Colonel had run out of short jokes.
Edward too had stopped, still hanging from his younger brother's arms, exhausted from his fruitless attempt at strangling the Bastard Colonel.
The two eyed each other sharply in a quiet stand-off.
Finally, the Colonel sighed and spoke. "Now begin again, Fullmetal. Why did you destroy that building?"
"It was an accident," the boy cried out defensively. "I didn't know it would just collapse like that. It was structurally unsound. There should have been a warning-"
"According to the report, there were multiple warnings posted," the Colonel glanced up from the document he was taking notes on. "And a ten-foot fence surrounding the entire perimeter."
"That didn't stop the guy we were chasing," Edward shot back. "We couldn't just let him get away. We thought he had information about the Philosopher's Stone and-"
"And did he," the Colonel asked nonchalantly, his eyes back down on the paper in front of him.
"Well, not exactly," Edward answered. "He did have some old alchemical textbook pages about the Philosopher's Stone on him, so if we just- Hey! Are you listening to me?!"
"What?" The Colonel raised his head to look at the boy and smirked. "Oh, sorry, I guess my attention span when it comes to you is short."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Edward lurched forward, almost managing to pull himself from his brother's grasp. "I'LL CREAM YOU! I'LL-"
Roy pushed his chair back and stood up, pulling his ignition gloves out of his pocket. As slid them over his fingers, he grinned and leaned toward the enraged boy. "What's that, small fry? You want some of this?" He poised his fingers to snap, the sneer still plastered to his face. "Alright, let's-"
"Boys!"
Edward, Mustang, and even Alphonse flinched. At once, the three stopped and slowly turned toward the voice's source. They gulped in unison.
Lieutenant Hawkeye had gotten up from her desk and was now standing, one hand on her hip and the other pointing toward the door. Her sherry eyes were fixed on the fighting pair, narrowed in annoyance. "If you're going to fight, I suggest you do so outside. Some of us have work to do."
Edward's surprised, and slightly fearful, expression melted away, giving way to a devious grin. He knew this game. It was a game of cat and mouse. The Lieutenant would threaten to "kick them out" with paperwork being the reason. It was a very cunning and subtle jab at the Colonel's work ethic. Mustang knew he had paperwork to do. And he knew that if he wasted his time childishly reprimanding his subordinate, there would be consequences; consequences stemming from a very agitated and very punitive Lieutenant. She was backing him into a corner.
Edward decided he would help her out. After all, he'd always favored the cat.
"Gosh, I didn't even think of that, Lieutenant," he replied, putting on an act of innocence. He knew that she could see through his façade. But he also knew that she'd play along; as long as it involved getting Mustang to finish his paperwork on time.
He turned back to Mustang, a small pout on his face. "I'm sorry, Colonel Bastard. I didn't realize you had so much work to do." Edward ignored the venomous glare he received from the Colonel and turned his head to look up at his younger brother. "Al?"
"Yes, Brother?" the suit of armor replied.
"Let's go. I don't want to hold them up any longer."
"O-okay," Alphonse replied confusedly, slowly setting Edward on the ground.
The elder Elric dusted himself off. As he turned away, making sure his back was to the Lieutenant, he shot a glance that said "I win" toward the Colonel, completing the look by sticking out his tongue.
If looks could kill, Edward would be dead twenty times over. The Colonel's look screamed murder.
But Edward didn't care. He'd won.
After he and Alphonse entered the hallway and had closed the door, the suit of armor turned to his older brother in a way that suggested disapproval. "Brother, do you really hate the Colonel?"
"Nah," Edward shrugged his shoulders. "I just strongly dislike him."
"Isn't that the same as-"
"Come on, Al," Edward shoved his hands into his pockets and began making his way down the hall. "I don't stick around and distract them any longer." That signaled that the conversation was over.
From behind him, Edward heard the suit of armor sigh and clank after him.
In reality, he didn't want to stick around in the event that the bastard would somehow manage to escape Hawkeye's lockdown.
"Ugh, you bastard; I hate you," Edward groaned into the phone receiver he had pressed to his ear. "Can you forget the teasing for once and just be happy for me?"
"What? And miss this golden opportunity? Never," the General chuckled over the phone line.
"Whatever," Edward rolled his eyes. He should have known that the Flame Alchemist would find a way to criticize him about his alchemy-influenced proposal to Winry. He shouldn't have called him. He should have just sent the bastard an invitation… making sure it arrived a week after the ceremony. Why did he even bother to call the prick in the first place?
"But in all seriousness, Edward," the General began again, this time his voice softer and kinder. "I'm genuinely happy for you."
Edward stopped. Where did that come from? "Uh, thanks," he responded.
"Well of course I'd be happy for you. Now," the General continued, "let's hope that your future kids inherit Winry's genes. I would hate seeing those poor children grow up with a short complex."
And the normal General was back. Edward resisted the urge to explode, instead opting to take the "high road." He decided to have a little fun. "Well, you know, General, I've grown a few inches since I last saw you. I might even have you beat in height." He paused, waiting for a reply. When none came, he continued. "I definitely know now that I have you beat in at least one aspect."
"And what is that, exactly?" the General asked, his voice mixed with slight irritation and curiosity.
"So how long have you and Hawkeye known each other? Like, half of your lives, right? And you've only just been on a handful of dates? And here I am, getting hitched," Edward taunted.
Silence at the other end of the line. Edward waited.
"…Who told you that?" the General finally demanded.
"A little bird," Edward teased.
"Who. Told. You. That," Mustang replied more forcibly.
"No one," Edward admitted with a sneer. "But thanks for confirming my suspicions." Before he could subject himself to the bothered General's tirade, Edward quickly placed his hand over the phone's earpiece, muffling the General's voice. "What's that, Mustang? I'm sorry… I can't hear you. I should get going, though. Winry and I have a lot of planning to do."
Edward heard Mustang pause. Now was his chance to have the final say.
He lowered his voice and quickly whispered, "Your game is weak," before triumphantly hanging up the receiver.
"Seriously, I hate you. How do you even do that," Edward whined as he watched Mustang bounce his son on his lap. As soon as Winry left to go grocery shopping, the baby had started crying. With Mustang's help, the baby had finally stopped.
"It's simple, Edward. It doesn't take much to amuse a child. After all," the General grinned widely, "We managed to amuse you during your service."
"I'd hardly call that amusement," the young man retorted, remembering his years as a "dog of the military." Still, he felt himself smile slightly; it had been quite the adventure.
He quickly pushed back his memories to focus on the now. "Anyway, what's your secret?"
"There is no secret," the General replied, his focus now on the child on his knee. He presented his index finger to the infant, whom grabbed it and began shaking it back and forth. "Honestly, Edward. You've endured automail surgery, restored your brother's body, and saved the whole of Amestris. And yet you still have trouble with fatherly tasks?"
Edward felt his cheeks turn red. It was true. He had managed to do all of that, and yet he still couldn't get the whole parenting thing down. Looking up, he realized that the General's coal-black eyes were now fixed on him.
"I just don't think I'm cut out for this parenting thing," he blurted out. He realized one second too late how childish he sounded. He wanted to take it back. "Wh-what I mean is, I don't know if I can do it. I mean, Hohenheim-"
"Your father has nothing to do with his, Edward," Mustang replied, narrowing his dark eyes at the young man. "This is your child. Only you can determine how your relationship with him will be. You don't have to be like your father."
"Yeah, but-"
"No 'buts,' Edward," the General interrupted. "If you just give up this self-doubt of yours and stop comparing yourself to your father, then you'll be fine." The General shot him a small smile. "I know you can do this." He gently lifted the child and passed him to the new father.
Taking the child in his arms, Edward stared down at his son. Large, golden eyes met his own.
Pushing away his self-doubt, Edward smiled down at the infant. "Hey, Noah. How are you doing?" he softly asked.
The baby burbled in reply and opened his mouth, the corners of it turning upward. This only added fuel to the small flame Edward felt in his chest. "Are you glad to be away from that bastard," he cooed.
Responding to his father's gentle voice, the baby giggled and reached up toward his father.
Swallowing any remnants of his fear, Edward raised the child up and held him against his chest. Noah affectionately nuzzled his face into his father's shoulder and sighed contentedly.
After he relished those few precious moments, Edward raised his head to look at Mustang and grinned. Who'd of thought the bastard would actually have sound advice?
"I hate you…"
Edward reached a hand out and placed it on the headstone in front of him, staring down at it. It was so simple. Too simple and vague for the man that it stood to represent.
General Roy Mustang
1885-1930
"The Hero of Ishval"
The mission was supposed to be a reconnaissance. They were supposed to be in and out in two weeks tops. But a small renegade group of Aerugean soldiers caught wind of them. Their team never saw the ambush coming.
From what he heard, Lieutenant Colonel Hawkeye and a small handful of soldiers were the only ones to barely make it out alive. But that certainly didn't put him at ease.
"You know, you left someone behind," Edward stated coldly, his grip tightening on the headstone.
Hawkeye was inconsolable. She had barely uttered a word to anyone after the medical team brought her back from the border. Dr. Knox said it was the shock, but Edward knew better; it was due to a broken heart. The only person she spoke more than a few words to was Edward, but even then the only things she managed to say were along the lines of "It should have been me" and "I should be dead." And because of that they had to constantly watch her. Edward knew that, if given the opportunity, she'd follow him.
That selfish bastard had left her behind. "But don't worry, I'll watch her." Since Mustang wouldn't be there, he'd make sure he was.
After thinking about it, he corrected his previous statement dismally,"Actually, you left a lot of someones behind."
Upon hearing about the General's sudden departure from this world, Winry had burst into tears. Her reaction had surprised Edward; he didn't realize that she'd cared for the man enough to cry for him. When he'd asked her, she seemed shocked by his cluelessness.
In Winry's eyes, despite being the reason the young boy had been there in the first place, the General had watched over Edward during his time in the military. And for that she had been eternally grateful. But now, she told him, she had realized that she never got to express her appreciation to him… and now she never would.
It was difficult telling his children. Noah had seemed to understand the general concept, though he still bawled every time he thought of his "uncle."
But Nina was a different story. Every day since the day they found out, she would ask about Uncle Roy. When was Uncle Roy coming back? Where did Uncle Roy go? And every time Edward would tell her that he wasn't going to be around anymore.
That answer didn't satisfy her.
When they visited Hawkeye, the first thing Nina did was ask if Aunt Riza knew where Uncle Roy was, because Daddy wasn't telling her. Uncle Roy and Aunt Riza were always together, so Aunt Riza would tell her where he was. Because Aunt Riza was always honest with her.
Edward had been too late in catching Nina's naïve question; the result effectively shut Riza down. She hasn't spoken since…
By then, Edward's knuckles had turned white from his iron-grip on the slab of stone. He was still having a difficult time processing the accident. Mustang was gone… He was never coming back.
There would be no more teasing. No more playful banter back and forth. No more phone calls every couple of weeks to "check in." No more anything.
No more.
That stupid, egotistical, self-serving… watchful, determined, powerful man… He was really gone…
"Ed?"
Edward snapped his head up and glanced over his shoulder at the sound of his wife's voice.
Winry stood a few steps behind him, Nina wrapped in her left arm and balanced on her left hip and Noah's hand in her right. Her eyes, like their children's, were red and puffy, no longer able to produce anymore tears. "Ed…" She softly began again, "We should go. It's beginning to rain."
Slightly dazed, Edward turned toward the darkened sky as it let go, the water droplets beating against his face.
"Yeah… It appears so," he replied numbly.
He was thankful that it had happened at that moment. She hadn't noticed the one salt-laced droplet that had run down his cheek, mixing with and disappearing into the rest of the water on his face.
Edward turned to face the stone again, drinking it in one last time. He wouldn't be back for a while. He'd be back to "visit" eventually… but it would take some time before he'd have the courage to.
After he had taken it all in, he slowly rotated and walked over to Winry. He gently took his son's hand in his own, and the family of four departed, leaving behind a prominent part of their lives… and a piece of their hearts.
Hope you guys enjoyed it! And for those following Pressure Point, I'm hoping to have the new chapter (and possibly the "taster" half chapter for my new story idea; if you don't know what that is, refer to Chapter 10 of Pressure Point) up in the next week or two. My exams will have the final say in that, however.