Home Sweet Headquarters
Although the building was officially UNCLE Headquarters, Alexander Waverly liked to think of "his" building as UNCLE Help-Quarters. His organization was committed to aiding nations and individuals in the cause of justice and peace, without prejudice or politics.
He only thought of it as UNCLE Hind-quarters when upbraiding recalcitrant lackwits.
UNCLE Headquarters? Cecil Beeton sneered. More like UNCLE Harem-quarters, and all of that regards Mr. Super-Agent Napoleon Solo. Yeah, Handsome-quarters, Hero-quarters. Beeton had heard all the whispers about the map room and the unrecorded history that was made there. A balding accountant with a thick portfolio and a permanent slouch had no hope of attracting a date until tax season. Drat the man.
Meanwhile, in the detention wing, Fritz Forbusher, Bird 3rd Class, was fuming, and a little frightened. Alone in UNCLE Hell-quarters, could he withstand the coming interrogation? And if he did, could he withstand the interrogation from THRUSH that was sure to follow?
Down in Research & Development, Illya Kuryakin's strong, warm hand petted the sleek skin of the latest explosive device. He would often think of the building fondly as UNCLE Hardware-quarters.
April Dancer lay on a tight white cot. The attendants had slit the leg of her new D'amico slacks to treat the sprained ankle and swollen Achilles tendon. The scrapes on her face and palms were stinging. Being slammed against the concrete had left her dizzy and slightly nauseous. Thank God, I'm at UNCLE Health-quarters, was her last thought, before the pain pill accomplished its work and conked her out flat.
UNCLE Heart-quarters, sighed Lacey McDonald. She skinned the silk scarf off her newly- coiffed head and dashed to her desk. She had a full in-box to attend to, if she were going to make the scheduled debriefing in the map room at 2.
Waverly settled back in his chair contemplating his next move. UNCLE Haste-quarters? No, never. On the other hand, Yes, by all means. His position often required the wisdom of Solomon. UNCLE Hazard-quarters? Despite the sophisticated security precautions, UNCLE employees had each and sundry signed on to the risk, to the principle of expendability.
Outside Del Floria's a plainclothes diplomat arrived after- hours. He was weary and worried, and welcomed inside by the old tailor. He had safely arrived at UNCLE Hope-quarters.
Mark Slate left a Bird-of-Paradise plant by April's bedside, and caught up with the CEA. Solo was on his way to meet his Russian partner at the Mask Club ( another UNCLE holding) for supper, and welcomed the Englishman along. After all, they were family. UNCLE Home-quarters.
finis