Hiya. Welcome to the first fic published under the pen name of iNFiNiTYVEiL.

Ohyayyy! :D

Quiet, Scarlette. Anyway, this fic was written by the two of us, Scarlette and Rose. Visit our profile for more details. 3

Let me do some talking, Rose! :P Anyway, this is a lame Warriors parody. What happens in it, you ask? You'll just have to find out.

Stay tuned for more epic news on this particular parody. 3

Love, Scarlette and Rose / iNFiNiTYVEiL

Rose sighed heavily and rested her head in her hands. It was the perfect night to write a Warriors fanfic-it was still light out, so she could see without having to use her cancer-inducing lamp, she was stocked up on pens, and she'd just finished her HOW TO WRITE A GOOD SHORT STORY book earlier that day. So why couldn't she concentrate and get to work? Was it maybe because of a severe case of writer's block, perhaps? No, Rose thought in dismay as she stared at the blank Word document on her laptop screen. "Mom said something today….someone is coming over very soon." She narrowed her eyes, straining to remember who her mother had invited round. Her eyes flew open wide in recognition. "Scarlette!" she gasped. "No, not my younger cousin! She'll wreck all my plans! Noooooooooo!" Rose rushed out the door and began preparing the materials she would need to bar the door.

But Rose was too late…

"HIYA!" yelled a clearly-annoying voice from behind Rose. The latter girl whipped around and saw Scarlette standing beside her, munching on some Doritos.

"Scarlette!" Rose gasped once more. "Why are you here?"

"Just because," Scarlette replied, shrugging her shoulders and dipping her hand in the bag of Doritos.

"Get out!" Rose spluttered, snatching the chip bag away from her cousin. "And don't eat those Doritos! Lucas is allergic, you know!"

"Oh, sure," Scarlette said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Because Doritos are life-threatening and all. Say, are you working on any fics at the moment?""No. Why?" Rose deadpanned.

Scarlette studied her face for a moment. "You are. Quit trying to hide it. Where is your laptop?"

Rose sighed. "In my room. But don't type anything!"

It was too late; Scarlette was already out of the room and furiously typing on the laptop.

"You haven't started yet, have you?" Scarlette asked, her eyes boring into the screen as she proof-read her work.

"No," Rose admitted. "I had a very severe case of writer's block. I am afraid that I an going to have to ask you to-"

"Write the fic for you?" Scarlette asked eagerly, tearing her gaze away from the computer to gaze at her cousin in excitement.

"Well, I was actually going to ask you to leave," Rose continued, causing Scarlette to frown.

"No! I'm writing the story!" Scarlette wailed, hugging the laptop to her chest and sobbing.

Rose panicked. 'Okay, okay! You can write the darn story, just quit crying all over my computer!"

Scarlette instantly brightened. "Yay! Thanks Rose, you won't regret this!" She started to type again, staring intently at the keyboard.

Rose groaned silently and sank to her knees. What had she done, allowing Scarlette to write the fic instead of her? She sighed and got up again. "Im going to take a long, relaxing shower," she announced, grabbing a towel off her bed. "Think you can finish the first chapter in half an hour?"

Scarlette nodded without looking back. "I'm writing a Warriors fic," she told her cousin. "That okay?"

Rose nodded. "Just keep writing. I'll be back in half an hour."

As Rose headed out the door, she wondered what would become of her story. "I hope she doesn't make it too silly," she muttered as she closed the bathroom door.

Scarlette cackled evilly as she checked her work. "Boy, Rose will be surprised," she muttered, settling back to read what she had just written.

It was a dark and stormy midnight. Why was it dark and stormy, you ask? Well, curious reader, it's because the story would be boring if it was a happy, sunny day. So shut your mouth, because I'm telling the story.

Anyway, like I said, it was a dark and stormy midnight. Firestar was curled up in his den, watching Family Guy on his plasma screen T.V.

"Gee Peter, how are we going to pay for this?" Brian asked Peter as they looked at the extensive damage they'd just forced upon the car they'd crashed.

"Sell Stewie!" Peter snapped his fingers, marveling upon his supposedly-brilliant plan. "On eBay, he'll fetch at least a thousand bucks!"

"Peter, it's illegal to sell babies," Brian reminded him.

"Oh. Then we'll sell him on the black market," Peter decided. He was utterly convinced that absolutely nothing could go wrong with his disastrously-flawed plan.

Brian slapped his forehead. "We can't just sell him, Peter, we have to-" He was cut off by the fact that someone other than Firestar had turned the T.V off.

Firestar looked angrily at Brambleclaw, who had just pulled the plug out of the socket with his teeth. "Why did you turn it off?" he asked him in irritation. "I was watching that!"Brambleclaw merely sat down and rested his tail on his paws. "Sir, we have a problem," he mewed, biting his lip nervously.

"Yes, well, out with it!" Firestar barked, making Brambleclaw jump. "Don't just stand there like a mannequin!"

Brambleclaw gulped. "Its…The apprentices are revolting, sir."

Firestar shook his head. "Is that all you had to say? I mean, have you seen their den lately? Half-eaten pizzas, piles of dirt in the corner-not soil dirt, poo dirt, and the smell is disgusting!""No!" Brambleclaw mewed, his voice pained. "The apprentices! They're rioting! Refusing to do anything until they're made warriors so they don't have to de-flea the elders anymore."

"Really?" Firestar was surprised. "There's only two elders; one's a cranky yet lovable she-cat and one's a lonely psychopath who's been living since Thunderstar started the whole darn Clan…..Oh. I see why.""And they're scared because Longtail is apparently haunting their den," Brambleclaw added.

"Oh? Who's Longtail?" Firestar asked.

"He got smooshed by that falling tree that Dovewing kindly informed us about, sir," Brambleclaw answered. "You know, right after Jayfeather got all snaky on us and asked us if we were lumping all the useless cats together and hoping a tree would fall on them?""Oh, yes. Him." Firestar licked his paw. "Well, I'll phone the local vicar tomorrow and ask him how much their exorcisms cost.""Sounds great, Firestar." Brambleclaw politely dipped his head and exited the den.

Firestar laid back in his four-poster nest and sighed. Today had been a particularly rough day for him; and now this had happened.

"Firestar, sir!" Foxleap rushed into the den urgently. "Squirrelflight's kitting!"

"Huh?" Firestar leapt to his paws. "When did she get pregnant?"

"Apparently Ashfur did, way back when," Foxleap mewed, "and she's been pregnant for, like, a year. We all thought she was obese! We even sent her to that fat camp!"

"Dear StarClan," Firestar whispered hoarsely. "We have to see her"

The two toms rushed together to the nursery, where Leafpool and Jayfeather sat, admiring six tiny, squirming kits. Well, Jayfeather wasn't exactly admiring them, because he's kind of blind, but you know what I mean.

"Six kits!" Firestar exclaimed. "What kind of mother has six kits?"

"Well," Leafpool began, "originally she was pregnant with three, but in the several months that she was holding them in, three more developed."

"Oh. Okay," Firestar mewed, treating it like the perfectly logical explanation it wasn't. "So. You got any ideas for names?"Squirrelflight only had to think for a second. "Firstkit, Fiddlekit, Melodykit, Violetkit, Leafkit and Twirlkit."

Firestar raised his non-existent eyebrows. "Um…okay. If you say so."

Rose emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped over her hair. She leant over Scarlette's shoulder and gasped as she saw her writing.

"You've made into a laughing stock!" Rose burst out.

"Yeah, it's a parody," Scarlette replied enthusiastically, spinning around in Rose's computer chair. "How do you like the kit's names?""Fiddlekit?" Rose asked flatly. Scarlette nodded.

"I was listening to a song at the time," she answered like it was completely normal.

Rose just sighed. "Scarlette, this is a terrible story-I mean, it barely makes any sense! Since when to the warriors have and-""Oh, shush," Scarlette sighed, already writing the next chapter. "I bet this chapter will get at least one review."

"This story is so crappy it won't even get looked at, much less than a review-"

"Wanna bet?" Scarlette had an impish grin in her face. Rose hung her head; Scarlette couldn't be stopped when she got like this.

"Okay. If we get one review, then you can put up the next chapter," Rose sighed, giving into her cousin's wild, absurd demands.

"Yay~!" shrieked Scarlette. She turned to the camera. "Hey guys! You gotta read and review!"