Katniss POV

"Peeta it's fine, I'm here"

"Get away from me mutt!"

It was happening again. He was having another episode. His crystal blue eyes had turned black, and all I could see was fear.

"Peeta, it's me Katniss"

"No it's not, don't hurt me please!"

"I'm not going to hurt you, I love you"

"That's what you said in the games and it wasn't true!"

He backed away from me and leaned against the kitchen counter. I grabbed a photo from the fridge of me and him, his arms wrapped around me.

"See this, this proves I love you"

He shook his head and reached behind him. I craned my neck to see what he was doing. He pushed his arm out at me and I gasped when I saw what it was.

"P-Peeta, put it down"

He shook his head again and moved closer to me, knife still in his hand.

"You tried to kill me so I'm going to kill you"

I fell backwards in my haste to get away. I knew I was being ridiculous, he wouldn't hurt me. But, he had never threatened me with a weapon. I saw him look at my chest and moved his arm backwards. I quickly rolled out the way, just as the knife hit the wall, exactly where I was sat. I didn't move quicker enough, and the blade caught my arm. I just looked down as I saw the blood start to trickle down my arm. The red colour seemed to snap Peeta out of whatever state he was in. His blue eyes were back. I looked into his eyes and all I could see was fear, shock and guilt. He was staring at my arm.

"Are you ok Peeta?"

He didn't reply, just started backing away.

"Peeta"

"I'm so sorry" After that he pushed past me and ran out the room. I grabbed a tissue and wrapped it around my arm. I sprinted after him. He was just opening the door when I caught up with him.

"Where are you going?"

"Anywhere away from you Katniss"

"What, why?"

"I hurt you, that's something I promised myself I would never, ever do"

A tear slipped out his eye and then he ran off. I was about to follow him when Haymitch stepped out the door. Oh great.

"Keep it down will you!"

"Not now Haymitch"

"Why what's wrong?"

He glanced down at my blood stained tissue. He walked over, looking concerned.

"Where is he? Where did he go?"

"Leave him Katniss, he'll be back later"

I nodded glumly then let Haymitch in.

"What happened then?"

"Well Peeta had an episode like usual, but then he threw a knife at me"

Haymitch looked surprised at the last bit.

"Wow, I mean he's never used a weapon before has he?"

"No. I managed to move but it caught my arm"

"Does it hurt?"

"No" I was telling the truth. The only thing that hurt was Peeta leaving.

"I bet he feels awful. The one thing he promised never to do"

"That's what he said" I mumbled.

"He'll be back in a couple of hours at the most" I just nodded.

"Don't worry about him Katniss"

"It's just, I was so scared that he was going to hurt me. But I know that's selfish because he would never do it on purpose"

Me and Haymitch talked for a while. Something that hadn't happened in a while.

It had been 5 hours and he still wasn't back.

"Haymitch, I'm getting worried"

"Why don't we go look for him?"

"Yeah, sounds good"

We marched down to town. The first place I looked was the bakery.

"Hey Katniss" Said Billy as I walked in.

"Hey, has Peeta been in recently"

"No I haven't seen him at all today"

"Ok thanks"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm great thanks Billy"

He nodded and smiled as I walked out the door. I met up with Haymitch a few hours later.

"Found anything" I ask hopefully.

"Nah, you?"

"No"

Three weeks later

I hadn't slept in over two weeks. Where was he? I spent every minute I could out looking for him. Billy said he hadn't turned up to work in over three weeks. I was worried sick. Had he had an accident? Was he safe? Why hasn't he come home? Haymitch often helped me look but it was clear he was no longer in District 12.

"What are we going to do Haymitch?"

"I don't know sweetheart"

I cried all day everyday. Haymitch had to force food down me at one stage because I refused to eat.

"Sweetheart, you have to eat. And you need to sleep too!"

"How can I? We don't where Peeta is! He could be… He could be…"

"Stop it. Don't think like that. He probably just went to stay somewhere for a while"

Later that day I received a phone call.

"Hello" I sighed.

"Urm, hello is this Katniss?"

"Mom, is that you!"

"Yeah"

"I have every right to hang up on you right now"

"No! It's Peeta!"

"Wait, what?"

"He's here, in District 4"

"Ok, I'm coming over as soon as I can"

I slammed the phone down and ran over to Haymitch's house.

"HAYMITCH!"

"What, what, what is it?"

"I know where Peeta is! He's in 4!"

He jumped off the couch and ran over to me.

"Come on then, what are you waiting for?"

We sprinted out the door and down to the train station. We managed to just get on the train just leaving. We both collapsed in the seat, panting.

"Phew, we just made it"

"Good going sweetheart"

I smiled.

"So, how do you know he's in 4?"

"My,urm, my mom, she, urm, she rang me"

"Oh" Was all he could say.

"Yeah"

It was going to be a long journey…

Me and Haymitch ran off the train, looking out for her. I saw her. Her blond hair scraped back into a bun, and wispy bits falling around her face. She didn't look any different, only older.

"Katniss"

"Where is he?"

"Are you doing ok?"

"Look mom, cut the small talk, just tell me where he is"

"He's at mine" She sighed, sadly.

"Lead the way then"

I saw him on the couch, biting his fingernails raw. He had dark circles under his eyes and he looked weaker, skinnier than the last time I saw him.

"Peeta" I whisper. He whips his head around to look at me then stands up and backs away into a corner.

"Go away Katniss"

"What, why?"

"I don't want to hurt you"

I walk over to him and touch his arm. He flinches away and turns away from me.

"Just leave me alone"

"No, I'm not gonna do that"

"It's not safe Katniss!"

"Peeta, you haven't been this bad in over 5 years. What happened?"

"Nothing"

"Peeta, don't hide it from me, don't do that"

"Katniss, stay away, I can feel another one coming on"

I could see him trying to fight off his other side. I watched his eyes, flit from blue to black, blue to black. He dug his fingers into his skin, so hard his knuckles turned white. Eventually he slid down to the floor in exhaustion and covered his face with his hands. I walked over to him and sat beside him, resting my head against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry"

"For what?"

"For almost killing you"

"Peeta, I've dealt with worse. The only thing that hurt was you leaving"

"I had to. To keep you safe"

"You would never harm me on purpose, ever, and I know that"

"But I still did it Katniss"

"I don't care, because we're gonna make it through this, just like we do with everything else. You're gonna be fine. We're gonna be fine"

I hugged him and stayed there in his arms. Later on mom said he could sleep in the spare room. He was reluctant to sleep but I made him.

"You have to, I'm not going anywhere, I'll just be downstairs"

Eventually he nodded off and I went down to the kitchen. I sat down at the table with my head in my hands. I heard someone walk in and I looked up.

"Hey"

"Hi"

"I can tell you love him"

"Yeah, I do"

"So, how's life in 12?"

"Great actually, it turned out neither of us needed our so called families after all"

"Look, Katniss, I know that's-"

"No, you don't know mom. You left when I needed you the most. You left me, again"

"I'm sorry, it's just I didn't know what to do"

"You were supposed to be the adult, I was the child. I still get haunted by nightmares every night. Every fucking night! I blame myself, every minute of every day. If I had just eaten those berries, none of this would have happened. The thousands of people that died would be alive. Prim would be here"

I broke down sobbing and rested my head against the table. Haymitch chose this moment to walk through the door.

"Oh sweetheart"

I don't know what I was thinking but I ran up to Haymitch and flung myself into his arms. He stroked my hair and whispered into my ear.

"Do you want to go home?"

I nodded my head and he walked away to get Peeta. Once again I was left alone with her. We sat in silence for a few minutes when Peeta walked into the room. He took one look at me then kneeled in front of me.

"What's up Katniss"

"Nothing, I just want to go home"

He pulled me into a hug and I inhaled his scent. He always smelt like fresh bread. He stood up, held my hand and pulled me up.

"Thanks for having me Mrs Everdeen"

"No problem Peeta, you're welcome any time"

She smiled at me sadly. I turned away.

I asked him what happened on the train back.

"Well, I wasn't really thinking and I just ran to the train station and got on the train. Next thing I know I was on the platform in District 4. I got lost so I just walked through the streets. Your mother found me and let me stay at hers for a while"

"Oh"

"I'm sorry, for everything Katniss. For hurting you, for making you worried, for making you see her again"

"It's fine. I don't need her. I learnt to survive without her all my life"

The next few weeks went very slowly. Peeta had daily episodes, which was very unusual. Normally he only had them once in a while. I took him to the doctors to see if they knew what was wrong. They didn't. They just gave us some tablets that were supposed to help him. Haymitch came round regularly to make sure he was coping ok.

Eventually, the episodes slowed down and he only had them every few days. Soon they happened once every few months. Everything was going great. We made it through another obstacle the games put us through. Every time something stood in our way, we broke through the barrier, coming out stronger than before.