Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Deep Space Nine or any of its established characters. Any new characters added are mine, as is the concept of the story.
Tissue warning: Multiple character deaths upcoming...
Chapter 1:
"The Time is now oh-six-hundred hours", the computer's voice chirped.
Colonel Kira Nerys woke quickly. The habits formed after years of being a member of the Bajoran Resistance never faded completely, but she rolled over onto her back and stretched leisurely. Today was The Anniversary, and she was scheduled to leave on the morning shuttle for her annual retreat down to Bajor to commemorate it. *Ten Years*, she thought to herself, *How could it possibly be ten years already? Ten years since Odo rejoined the Great Link and left my life*. She had packed her carry-all the night before, since she had to meet with Dr. Bashir before catching the shuttle. She wanted to know before she left the station if he'd made any progress in solving the mystery of the recent deaths of former Resistance Members. As she dressed, Nerys thought back to the call she received from First Minister Shakkaar Edon the week before.
*************
A long time friend and one time lover, Edon and Nerys spoke often about events happening on Bajor, and last week, Edon called with some bad news.
"I don't know how to tell you, Nerys, but T'der Lund died last night", he said after the normal greetings were exchanged.
"Lund - he was the explosive expert who worked with us on some of our missions near the end of the war, wasn't he?", Nerys asked.
"Yes - and I'm afraid he's not the first one to die recently in very similar circumstances. He's the sixth former member of the Resistance I know of to die of some kind of pneumonia that resisted all forms of treatment. Frankly, I'm worried that someone might be attacking our friends, Nerys." Edon's concern was etched on his face, and he turned his face to the side to cough as Nerys stared in surprise at the news he had just delivered. "Nerys, I've collected information from the doctors who treated them and their families, might I send this data up to Dr. Bashir to take a look at and see if he can get to the bottom of this?"
"Of course! Send it to me right now and I'll forward it to him," Nerys watched the screen for confirmation of the data being received, and then downloaded it to a dataPADD to deliver to Dr. Bashir personally. She scanned the names of those who had died and said softly, "They all fought with the Shakkaar cell at some time during the war, do you really think that we're being targeted again?"
"I don't know, Nerys, but I'd feel better knowing what was going on. One or two deaths is a coincidence, but six? There is something bigger going on here." He paused to cough again, and then chuckled, "I'd better get rid of this cold before you visit next week. Let me know what the doctor has to say, will you?"
"Of course I will, take care." Nerys signed off, and then left Ops to go to the Infirmary and told Dr. Bashir what the First Minister had to say, and asked "Julian, can you please check into this and see if there is something sinister at work?"
"Of course, Colonel. You're going to visit Bajor next week, let's meet before you leave and I'll update you then."
*************
Kira finished dressing, and tapped her commbadge. "Kira to Bashir".
"Bashir here." He sounded so serious, which was very unusual for Julian. It got her attention immediately.
"Julian, I'm ready to head for the shuttle, have you made any progress on the project I gave you last week?"
"Yes, actually I have been talking to Shakkaar and several doctors on Bajor about this, and I think we've figured out what's going on. Stop by the Infirmary and I'll fill you in on the details in person. Bashir out."
Kira looked herself over in the mirror, the streak of grey in her hair a reminder of how much time has changed her. She glanced around her quarters to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything, grabbed her carry-all, and headed for the turbolift which would take her to the Infirmary, and the answers Julian had found.
Chapter 2:
Nerys set her bag down in the waiting room, and walked into the Infirmary calling "Julian?" She stopped when she saw him standing by one of the biobeds, with a PADD in hand, a very somber expression on his face.
"I take it the news isn't good?", Nerys walked over to him and he shook his head.
"No, not good at all, although we have established it's not someone going after Resistance members deliberately."
"Well, that's good news though, isn't it?" Nerys was puzzled why Julian looked so serious when he had good news.
"Nerys, it appears that several members of the Resistance were exposed to a chemical agent during the Occupation. We haven't determined yet if it was at just one location or multiple locations, nor have we determined if it was a deliberate chemical attack by the Cardassians or something that happened accidentally. I'm working with Garak to try and determine how it happened. After discussions with Bajorian Medical, we've established 27 people who have died in the past 6 months of the exact same syndrome. The symptoms appear to be similar to pneumonia, but resistant to all forms of treatment. It wasn't until I was able to get data from someone dying from the syndrome that I was able to figure out what was happening. I would have told you sooner, but I wanted to be absolutely sure of my findings. Apparently, this chemical agent caused damage to the bronchial lining of the lungs, but the impact of the damage lay dormant for some unknown reason, until it activated for no apparent reason, and then the bronchial lining begins to die. The victim finds it harder and harder to breathe until they literally drown. We haven't been able to find any treatment or cure yet, but Bajoran Medical and I are both working on options that wouldn't conflict with the Prophets."
Nerys looked at him quizzically, and Julian continued, "In a case where something has damaged the lungs, normally a transplant of replacement lungs or artificial lungs would be done. However, I know that mainstream Bajoran belief wouldn't allow for those forms of treatment."
"27 people dead, by the Prophets. That's terrible! So, how were you able to find a victim of this chemical agent to study so quickly?", Nerys looked up from the PADD and Julian looked very sadly at her. "It's First Minister Shaakkar. He's in the final stages of the illness right now, Nerys. I'm so sorry." She blanched, and said, "The coughing, he was coughing last week when he called me." Julian nodded, "The coughing would be the first symptom. Then fever, shortness of breath, and then death. Once the bronchial lining starts to die, the process occurs very rapidly. We have no idea why the damage sits dormant and then suddenly flares up. But I know you normally visit Shakkaar on your annual visit, so I'd suggest you stop there first before..." he paused, seeing tears building in her eyes and her efforts to hold them back start to fail.
Julian cleared his throat, "I'm ordering all Bajorans assigned to the station to come in and be tested for the effects of the chemical agent. They deserve to know if they're going to be facing this down the road. I'd... like to test you before you leave, Colonel." She nodded, feeling numb with the shock of so many dead already, and learning that Shakkaar was going to die, and soon. She climbed up onto the biobed and lay back, the tears falling down her cheeks as Julian began to run his scans. His sudden intake of breath told her all she needed to know. "I have the syndrome, don't I, Julian?" He nodded and said softly, "But it's still dormant, I don't see any sign of cellular death in your bronchial lining occurring. You could go years before anything happens, until we learn what is triggering it, we just won't know how long it might be."
Nerys sat up, brushed at her eyes, and said "Good work, Julian. Please continue working with Bajoran Medical on this and try to find a treatment for those impacted. Meanwhile I have a shuttle to catch." She climbed down from the bed, turned, and hugged Julian quickly, whispering, "Thank you." Then she headed out towards the waiting room, her bag, and the waiting shuttle.
Chapter 3:
Nerys normally used the time traveling down to Bajor to think about The Anniversary, but her mind was overwhelmed with all that Julian had told her before leaving. She had no idea how she would be able to say goodbye to Shaakkar, who had been a part of her life for more years than she could remember. As the shuttle flew down to the capital, she thought about her years in the Resistance, other friends lost, fights fought with Shakkaar at her side and how much she would miss his friendship. Only as the shuttle came in to land, did she give her own death any thought. *Who will celebrate The Anniversary when I'm gone?*
Normally Shakkaar would meet her at the shuttle station and they'd go have a meal before she'd transport up to the cabin she visited every year on this day. Instead, she recognized his long-time secretary, Ellon Karys, waiting for her, and she moved towards Nerys with almost lightning speed once she saw her leave the building.
"Colonel Kira, we must hurry to the First Minister's home. There isn't much time, I'm afraid."
"Why didn't anyone tell me how ill he had become?" Nerys asked, as she and Karys walked hurriedly down the street.
"The First Minister forbid it. I'm so grateful you're here, that you made it before.." Karys choked up, and the tears began to run down her face as she walked. Nerys knew Edon and Karys had been together romantically for a long time, so this was probably hurting her as hard as anyone.
When they reached the First Minister's house, the guards let them right in. Nerys dropped her carry-all off in a chair in the front hall, and headed right towards his bedroom, knowing exactly where it was from previous visits. A doctor stood outside the doorway, and stopped her when she moved to enter the room. "He doesn't have long - but I think he's been holding on in hopes of seeing you, he's been calling for you when he's been able to speak." Her eyes widened in shock, not realizing just how close she came to not being able to say goodbye. She nodded her head with a jerk, and then opened the door, moving into the room with all the stealth that a Resistance fighter needed.
First Minister Shakkaar Edon was laying in bed, surrounded by an oxygen field to try and help him breathe. A Vedek stood at the foot of his bed murmuring prayers to the Prophets under his breath. Edon's skin was pale and sweaty, and his eyes were closed as all of his focus and attention was on taking one more breath. Then one more breath. "Edon", she whispered, and his eyes flew open and his head turned to face her. He smiled, and his left arm reached out towards her. "Nerys" he croaked, and she stepped forward to take him by the hand.
"Dr. Bashir told me what he's learned so far, and he and Bajoran Medical are working hard to figure out how to reverse this. You have to hang in there until they can figure it out, OK?" She gripped his hand tightly, but could feel the total lack of any strength in his grip, and knew that her old friend would be with the Prophets soon.
"Nerys", he sighed her name and then took a couple of gasping breaths before saying, "Thank you..... for your friendship...... all these years.....I shall miss you." "Edon, don't give up! You never give up!!", Nerys watched in horror as his eyes closed, he smiled, and then he breathed one last breath. An alarm began to sound and the doctor came in from the hallway, checked the monitors, and then turned them off. He turned and said, "Colonel, I'm sorry, but he's gone. I'm amazed he was able to hang on as long as he could. Most of the victims succumbed within 3 to 5 days of the first symptoms, and he made it 8 days." He sighed, "I'd better go and report this so that the arrangements can be made for him. Will you be staying?"
Nerys shook her head, "I'll be back in two days, the funeral will not be sooner than that, and I have someplace I need to be tonight. But I will be back." She released her grip on his hand, laying it on the bed and patting it a couple of times, before backing away from the bed, and leaving the room. Karys sat outside in the hall, and Nerys hugged her and said "I'm sorry", before heading back downstairs, grabbing her carry-all, and heading for the transporter. She paused only to contact Julian, to tell him that Shakkaar had died, and she would be staying on Bajor a couple of extra days to attend the services before returning to DS9.
Chapter 4:
The whine of the transporter faded and she found herself standing outside of a small cabin that appeared to be built right in the side of the mountain. Lupaza had left this small cabin and the adjoining land to Nerys when she died, and she and Odo had spent several shore leaves here together. So many happy memories of time spent with Odo were tied to this place, it became the place to commemorate The Anniversary of his re-joining the Great Link. She needed to be alone on this day, and dedicate it to his memory. As she entered the cabin and began to unpack her bag in the one bedroom, as was her tradition, she looked back on the previous Anniversaries.
*************
Year 1: The first year was the hardest of all. Everyone on the station knew she was hurting and trying to hide it. She felt as if she were grieving, mourning someone who had died, and yet she knew he was alive and well, just on the other side of the wormhole. Every time she saw it open, instead of making a wish as was tradition, she would think loudly *I LOVE YOU, ODO* as if she could telepathically speak to him when the portal between the Alpha and Gamma quadrants was open. The nights were often the most difficult to endure, as she would dream of him, the time they spent together, that first incredible kiss on the Promenade, and the fun times they had in Vic's. It would always end with her watching him walk away into the amber ocean and melt away from her life forever. She would wake up sobbing, and finally had to ask Julian to give her some sleeping medication to help her get through the night. The other thing she found hard to deal with was seeing Julian and Ezri together. While she was truly happy they had found their way to each other, seeing their happiness was a reminder of her own unhappiness. She avoided seeing them together as much as possible until Ezri and Nerys sat down and Ezri pushed Nerys to talk about her feelings. You can't hide things from a Counselor or Dax for very long - combine them and you don't have a chance. On the One Year Anniversary of the day she left Odo on the Founder's Homeworld, she stayed in her quarters, ignoring the door chimes and all hails, hugging the bucket that used to be his bed, crying and crying.
Year 4: Things got better as time passed, the sharp daggers of pain in her heart dulled to an ache that would only flare up once in awhile when something would happen to remind her of Odo, or she would think *What would Odo have to say about that?*. Now that Julian and Ezri were married, she would have dinner with them regularly, or visit the holosuites, and not feel so much despair that they were together and she was alone. Each previous year she had retreated to her quarters on The Anniversary. On the Four Year Anniversary, she went down to the Bajor for the first time, to the cabin, and spent two days there crying and laughing. She took a dataPADD with her and began to write down all of her memories of Odo, from the first time they met on Tarek Nor and he told her that a "pretty girl like you shouldn't be eating alone", to the last time she saw him as he walked into the Great Link. He had told her not to wait for him, he had told her to move on with her life, but she had no idea how she could do that when her heart stayed there with him on the Founder's planet.
Year 8: After so many years had passed, she could focus more easily now on the happy memories of the love she and Odo shared instead of the heartbreak and sorrow his absence left behind. She took the bucket down to the cabin, along with pictures and other things that reminded her of Odo. Odo hadn't been one to shower her with many presents, so each one she had was a treasured momento. Odo was part of her past now, but for one day a year, he would become a part of her present once more. As she had every year, the Anniversary of his joining the Great Link would be remembered and celebrated. She would spend the day down in the little cabin they shared on shore leave. All but one item that reminded her of Odo would be down here on Bajor instead of up in her quarters on DS9. The only item she left on DS9 was a picture of her and Odo taken in Vic's. It sat on the table next to her bed.
*************
This was now Year 10. Some would consider the cabin to be a shrine to Odo, where once a year she relived all of her memories, and added new ones that she had forgotten about before now. She relived the best memories she had from the best days of her life. She would light a Memory Candle and tell story after story to an audience that didn't exist, all through the night she would speak of things she remembered about Odo.
*Tuesday morning meetings with a cup of rajendko reviewing the weekly crime reports
*Dancing in Vic's with Vic crooning an old Earth song in the background
*The Kiss on the Promenade - even after all this time, she could feel his lips on hers, his arms holding her tightly, the memory hadn't faded at all
*The Betrayal - where it seemed that Odo had become a Founder and turned his back on his friends - but at the last moment, he returned to them again.
*The Farewell - he always looked so good in that tuxedo, and she tried so hard to be strong, to hold back her agonizing sadness until she was back in the Rio Grande.
*The Return - going back to DS9 in the empty shuttlecraft on auto pilot most of the way as she sobbed uncontrollably, trying to imagine how she was to face life without Odo, her rock, her strength, her love, at her side. But knowing how lucky she had been to have had that in her life as long as she had - not everyone is so lucky.
It had taken so many years for her to get past the pain and sadness, to be able to cherish the good memories of Odo and their time together. She at least had a chance to say goodbye to him when he rejoined the Great Link, how many millions of people died in the Occupation or the Dominion War, never having a chance to say goodbye to the ones they loved. Odo hadn't died, but he had left her life forever so it felt like he was dying. But he wasn't. *But now I am.*
She sat on the couch, looking at the Odo Shrine as she came to think of it, and the impact of Julian's words on top of seeing Shaakkar's last breath from this illness hit her. *I'm going to die. I don't know when, but I am going to die. Unless they can find a cure, once it starts, I won't have long left either. I need to make arrangements.*
Pulling out a dataPADD, she pulled up her will. She had kept one on file since she first took her post on DS9. She didn't have any close family left living, so she used to leave her estate to a charity that took care of War Orphans. When she and Odo fell in love, she had changed it to leave her possessions to him to do with what he would. When he left, she changed it back to the War Orphans. Then when Julian and Ezri married, she had changed it to them. She now added a provision, asking them to come to this cabin twice a year - once on the Anniversary of Odo's joining the Great Link, and once on the Anniversary of her death, to light Memory Candles for them in the Bajoran tradition. Saving the changes, she got up and pulled the Memory Candle out of her carry-all, put it next to the bucket and lit it, and settled down to meditate and begin her annual remembrance in memory of Odo. Her friend, her love, her life. What was, and what might have been. As she felt her pagh settle, she began to speak.
Chapter 5:
*This might be the last time I do this for Odo*, she thought, and so she spent a little extra time this year at the cabin. After spending two days in seclusion, she returned to the Capital to attend Shaakkar's funeral service. Given his status as First Minister it was a grand service, with many Vedeks in attendance and overseeing the proceedings. As the congregation of mourners sang the traditional death songs, Nerys wondered, *Will those on the station sing for me?* Nerys returned to Edon's home that night to see if Karys needed anything, and for the reading of Edon's will. He left a few souvenirs of the Resistance to Kira, which she arranged to have transported to DS9. She made her way back to the shuttle station the next morning, and paused to look around her at the Capital. *This will be the last time I stand on Bajoran soil* she thought, and looked around her again, more slowly. She had no idea where the thought had come from, but she felt certain it was true. The Prophets were telling her this, so she could say goodbye to the home she loved, had fought for so many years to protect, and had served with all the dedication she could. She bowed her head, and entered the shuttle station.
Three weeks later: How did she let herself get talked into helping sort out the Cargo Bay 5 inventory mess? All the dust being churned up in the room over the past few days had left her coughing and filthy. After a hot shower, Nerys went to bed, glad that the problem had been resolved and she shouldn't have to deal with any dusty Cargo Bays for awhile. Nerys woke up in the middle of the night after a nightmare. She had been dreaming of the incident where she, Odo, and Shaakkar had a wild ride in the turbolift. It was a nightmare that she had on and off again over the past 10 years. She sat up, shaking, and rubbed her arms as she felt chilled. As she went to lay down again, she felt an odd tickle in her throat, and then, began to cough. Two - three times, and then it stopped. The icy chill spread across her entire body as she remembered coughing in the Cargo Bay - and realized that perhaps it was not because of the dust after all. She reached over for the commbadge sitting on the table, and tapped it, "Kira to Bashir".
"Bashir here. Do you realize what time it is?" a sleepy Julian answered, and Kira heard Ezri's voice in the background saying "Who is it?"
"Julian, I'm coughing. I need to see you in the Infirmary."
"I'll be right there." He went from sleepy to alert in an instant - just like a doctor. Nerys got up, dragged on a pair of trousers and a tunic top and slipped her way out the door down to the Infirmary. Julian was there waiting for her. "I'm probably over-reacting, Julian, but I just wanted to check.." and she began to cough again. He put his hand on her shoulder and walked her over to a bio-bed, waving the night shift staff away. She climbed up, laid down, and waited until Julian took the readings he needed. He sighed and said softly, "It's begun, Nerys, I'm sorry. We've had no luck in finding a cure yet. We'll keep trying, and I'll give you some medication that may slow it down a little." "How much time do I have, Julian?" she whispered up at him, her hands clenched at her sides. "Three or four days, maybe five from the onset of symptoms. Like I said, once the process starts, everything happens so rapidly, it seems to snowball. When exactly did you start coughing, do you remember? Looking at these scans, it couldn't be just now because this looks like it's more advanced......" His voice trailed off, and then he looked down at her with such sadness in his eyes, "What do you want to do?". "My coughing started 2 days ago, I just dismissed it as dust because I was working in Cargo Bay 5 and it was so dusty, everyone was coughing or sneezing. I wasn't thinking - so I probably only have a couple of days left."
Nerys sat up. "I'm going to go see Odo." Julian started, "Colonel - Nerys - you can't leave the station now, not in your condition." "You can't stop this from happening, Julian, if I'm going to die, I want, no, I need to see Odo one last time. I need to tell him what's happening myself, I will not let him come back expecting to find me and find I'm gone."
"You can't go by yourself." She shook her head, "I'm not taking anyone with me. I'll program the auto-pilot of the shuttlecraft to return to the Alpha Quandrant when.. I'm gone." She reached out and grabbed Julian's hand, "You can't tell anyone, Julian, not a word, even to Ezri. Let them mourn me after I'm gone, but not before. Promise me." He nodded, and she gripped his hand tighter. "Promise me." "I promise, Nerys." She nodded, "My will is on file, and on a PADD in my quarters. I named you as my executor, so handle everything for me as I laid out. The instructions are very clear. Please?" He nodded, overcome with emotion that she had entrusted something so important to him. She released his hand so she could slide off the biobed and embraced him. "Thank you Julian, for everything. I have to go.. make arrangements." Julian gave her a hypospray of medication which he told her may or may not help at all. It had seemed to provide Shakkaar a bit of relief from the coughing. Nerys then made her way back to her quarters.
She stayed up the rest of the night and wrote up a formal letter of resignation, citing ill health, and naming her First Officer as her replacement pending the selection of a new Commanding officer by the Bajoran Military. She then wrote notes of farewell to her friends on DS9, and those who had left years before. Quark and Nog, Julian and Ezri, Miles and Keiko, Worf, the Sisko family - she wasn't a great writer but she wanted to leave a few words for each of them, to make sure they knew how much she treasured their friendship (yes, even Quark!) and not to mourn too hard. That she was going to be with Odo one last time, and nothing could be better than that, before going to the Celestial Temple. She set everything up to be sent at 1200 hours that day, well after she left the station.
Chapter 6:
She didn't need to pack very many things into her carry-all for this final trip, and she went down to the shuttle bay quietly, wanting to leave before the morning watch took it's place. She wished the old Rio Grande was still in service, it would have been appropriate to return in the same ship. Instead, she took the Amazon. Going through the pre-flight checklist quickly and efficiently, she called Ops and notified them of her intent to leave. The young man in Ops called back "We have no flight plan on file for the Amazon today, Colonel, I'll need to know where you are going and when you'll be back before I can release the docking clamps." Nerys sighed *Federation efficiency* "I'm taking her to the Gamma Quandrant to visit an old friend and the ship will be back in less than a week. As the Commanding Officer, that shouldn't be a problem, right Ensign?" She could hear the gulp through the communications channel, "No, Colonel, no problem at all. Have a good trip." and the docking clamps were released.
She finished her pre-flight checklist, and eased the shuttle away from DS9. She hovered there in space, looking at the place where her life had changed so many times. Just as on Bajor, she knew she would never look upon it again, and savored the dull gray curving lines of the station one last time, before turning towards the wormhole. *I used to think it was the ugliest thing I had ever seen, and now, it's beautiful in its own unique way.* When she emerged on the other side of the wormhole, she laid in a course to the Founders World where ten years earlier, she had left the man that she loved to heal his people, and to try to teach them to trust the Solids instead of make war upon them. Not a word had been heard from Odo or the Founders in all this time. She didn't know if that was a good or bad sign. All she knew was that if she was going to die, she was going to try to see Odo one last time before it happened. She just had to hope he was still there, because there wouldn't be time to do a lot of searching for him.
She established orbit 8 hours later, having taken a nap on one of the bunks during the trip, and took another dose of the cough medicine Julian had given her after another long coughing attack. She didn't have the medical equipment on the shuttle to monitor her condition so she had no idea exactly how much time she would have. The coughing felt worse, and she felt feverish already, so she presumed that she didn't have a lot of time to spare. Scanning the surface, she found the small jetty of land in the ocean of Changelings, and prepared to beam down. She could only hope Odo was still here, was OK, and would be able to see her.
When the hum of the transport faded, she looked around, and was pleased to see the Changling sea had returned to the healthy amber color it had been the first time she and Odo had seen it. *Now, how do I get their attention so I can talk to Odo?* "Hello? Odo? Anyone - I am Colonel Kira Nerys from Bajor, a friend of Odo's, and I've come to talk to him about something very important. Can someone please tell Odo I'm here?" She paused, trying to think of what else to say when another coughing fit came upon her. As she finished coughing, a column raised up out of the amber ocean and moved towards the land mass she stood on. She stood frozen, staring at it as it approached. Would it be Odo? Would he have changed in the ten years they'd been apart? *Will he still love me?*
The column solidified into a male Changling, but it was not Odo. Nerys hid her disappointment and gave a slight bow as he stepped onto the land, leaving one foot liquid and still mixed with the Great Link. "Hello, my name is Colonel Kira Nerys, and I'd like to see Odo, please.". He looked at her silently for a moment before speaking, his voice soft and growling like a razor cat, but higher pitched than Odo's more gravelly tone. "Odo is One with the Great Link and is pleased to see you. It will take him some time to gather himself to speak with you in his Solid form. He asks, can you wait approximately 12 hours time?"
Nerys swallowed and thought to herself, *I sure hope so!* then held out her hand, and showed the Changeling the commbadge lying there. "Please tell Odo I cannot wait here on the planet and may not be able to return in 12 hours myself, but I will be in the shuttlecraft Amazon which is in orbit above the planet. I will leave this commbadge here for him. He can use it to tell the Amazon to beam him up whenever he is ready, so we can talk. I won't take him away from the Great Link any longer than necessary, I just need to talk to him and need to return to my ship as soon as possible."
The Changeling paused, tilting his head in such an Odo-like manner than she wanted to cry. "I have told him, and that will be acceptable. Odo will try to hurry, Nerys, as it sounds important that you speak with him." She nodded, "Yes, very important. Thank you." She laid the commbadge on a rock shelf and then tapped her own commbadge, "Amazon, one to beam up." The transporter beam took her away.
"Computer, lower the shields, and alert me of any incoming transporter attempts. When someone wants to board, bring him onto the bridge, I'll be in the sleeping quarters." She turned and headed towards the sleeping quarters as another round of coughing began. *Prophets, please give me the time I need. Please Odo, come to me quickly.*
Chapter 7:
Down on the planet's surface, Odo listened to Nerys through the ears of the Great Link, and his spirit leapt at the sound of her voice after so long. *How long as it been? Time has no meaning in the Great Link.* Even before the exchange between the Changeling sent to speak to her and Nerys had ended, Odo began to pull the pieces of himself back from the various regions of the Great Link so he could emerge as a Solid and speak to her. While she gave no clue about what was wrong, he felt something must be VERY wrong for Nerys to have come back. He had instructed her to be given 12 hours, but with a sense of true urgency, he felt the last pieces of himself gather together and 8 hours after Nerys returned to the Amazon, Odo stepped out of the Great Link onto the rocky outcropping. Forming the familiar humanoid body and Bajoran uniform took far longer than he remembered, as he hadn't had to morph into solid form in so long. Reaching down, he picked up the commbadge and tapped it, "Amazon, one to beam up." His voice sounded rough and scratchy as normal, but it was the first time he had spoken aloud since he had joined the Great Link. Just before the transporter beam began, he called out, "Don't worry, I'll be back."
Nerys huddled under a blanket in the sleeping quarters. She was beginning to feel more feverish and was having chills, and breathing was starting to become a bit more difficult. The computer chimed "One person has beamed aboard onto the Bridge." Nerys swung her legs around and tried to stand up, but she felt dizzy and fell back onto the bed. *No, not now, I need to go find Odo!* she thought to herself, and began to cough again, when the door to the sleeping chamber opened and... there he was. Looking just as he did 10 years earlier in his Bajoran uniform and the same beautiful unfinished face.
"Nerys!" He rushed into the room and dropped to kneel in front of her as she finished coughing, holding one hand out to take hold of his hands as the other covered her mouth. "Odo... Odo thank the Prophets you came so quickly." Nerys leaned forward and rested her head on Odo's shoulder, her cheek against his, and he gasped, "Nerys, you're burning with a fever, what's going on?"
She leaned back and then struggled to her feet. He rose and helped to steady her and she said in a very matter-of-fact but hoarse voice, "I'm dying, Odo, and I needed to see you one last time before I joined the Prophets." Odo just stared at her in shock, the joy of seeing her fading from his bright blue eyes to be replaced with disbelief and horror. "What do you mean, you're dying? Are you sick? I don't understand - and what happened to your hair?"
She chuckled and reached up to touch the gray streak above her left eye. "Age does that to us mere humanoids, Odo. You've been here for 10 years, and I've gotten older. I put all the information about what's happening on a PADD for you. Talking too much will irritate my throat and will trigger more coughing fits, so let's sit over here at the table and I'll hold your hand while you read it, OK?" She moved over to do that. Odo took the second chair, held Kira's hand with his right hand while his left hand worked the PADD. He was a fast reader, and soon he looked over to her and said, "I'm so sorry about Shaakkar's death." She nodded, "He was a good friend. He raised the alarm that something wasn't normal with this illness, so we could get Julian working on it." "Julian can't do anything?" "Nothing that doesn't violate the teachings of the Prophets. He's working on it with Bajoran Medical. But they won't be able to find anything in time for me. So, as soon as I knew, I came here." Odo had gone back to reading the PADD and then his hand tightened on hers, "As little as three or four days? How long have you been sick Nerys? Tell me." *How much time do you have left?* He thought it, he couldn't bring himself to say it aloud.
Nerys sighed, "The coughing started a couple of days ago and got worse last night, well, early this morning. I should have at least 1 good day left before I get too sick. I want to spend what good time I have left with you, Odo, if you'd let me. When it gets too bad, I can return you to the link, set the shuttlecraft on autopilot, and send it back to the station. I'll join the Prophets sometime between now and then."
"NO! You're not dying alone on a shuttlecraft. I'll.... I'll stay here with you until you're gone and then I'll set the shuttlecraft's autopilot before returning to the surface." He set the PADD down on the table and reached out to Nerys. He picked her up, and settled her in his lap, blanket and all, and just held her tightly. His joy at being able to hold her again, hear her voice again, see her face again, far overshadowed by knowing it wouldn't last very long. "Odo, when you thought you were dying of the Section 31 virus, you didn't want me around you. Let me protect you from seeing..." "NO - and that's my final word on the matter. You will not die alone, Nerys!" He spoke in his Constable Voice, so she knew not to try and dissuade him. He held her tightly, and if Changelings could cry, he probably would right now at the thought of a Universe without Nerys in it. She relaxed against him, "All right, Odo, you win. I'm too sleepy to argue with you anyway." She began to doze in his arms. He lifted her up, and put her in the bunk, and tucked the blanket around her. Laying a hand on her forehead, she seemed even warmer than before. Standing up, he walked back out to the bridge, "Computer, one to beam down," double checked the co-ordinates, and returned to the planet's surface. Walking over to the edge of the piece of land, he stuck his hand into the Great Link and called for the greatest Doctors of the Link to come to him. He sent the message that his friend, a Solid, is very sick, and the Solids' medicine cannot do anything for her, and she needs help.
After a few moments, he felt a response, and soon two forms rose from the amber ocean and came towards him on the piece of land. A male and a female Changeling took shape, and bowed to him. "How may we help you, Odo?" "My friend, Nerys is very sick, and Doctor Bashir says she will die. I want to know if our knowledge can save her life, will you come with me to her ship?" "We have never left the Great Link before..." the woman said, obviously fearful. "Trust me, please," Odo asked, looking back and forth at them both. The man nodded, and then the woman agreed. They both stepped closer to Odo, "Amazon, 3 to beam up." The three teleported onto the bridge of the Amazon, and he led them back to the sleeping chambers.
"There is information on the dataPADD about what is known about the illness, I'll show you how to access it," and he proceeded to show the woman how to access the dataPADD information. The man meanwhile moved to stand near Nerys, "How can we treat her if she cannot Link with us?" "I ... I don't know if you can, I just know I need to try to do something. I don't want her to die!" The woman read the information on the data pad, reaching out one arm which Links with the man to share the knowledge with him. The man reaches out a hand towards Nerys, and his hand liquefies against her chest and he closes his eyes in concentration. Nerys wakes at being touched, and Odo takes her hand. "Nerys, stay calm, I have brought two Changeling Doctors to see if they can help you. Just hold my hand and do not be afraid." Nerys had turned pale at the two strangers in the room and feeling another Changeling touching her so intimately made her very uncomfortable, but she trusted Odo, and held on to him while the two continued their work.
"I will need to examine you where you are sick. Hold very still, please", and a thin tendril went up Nerys' nose and down into her lungs. Her reflex was to gag and the panic caused her to pass out, which was probably for the best. The man finished his examination and pulled the tendril out of Nerys, and unlinked from the woman. "There is nothing we can do. Her cells are dying and are not regenerating at all. We cannot make her regenerate like one of us, so there is nothing to be done. I regret that I cannot help you, Odo, because I know how important this Solid is to you."
Odo hung his head, and stood up. "I thank you for trying. Please, take the information you've gotten back to the other doctors among our kind to see if they have any ideas. If we cannot.... save... Nerys, perhaps we can send information back to help the others who are sick." The man nodded, and Odo took them both out to the bridge and beamed them back down to the planet. His one chance of saving her was gone - so he had to accept that Nerys would soon be dead.
Returning to the sleeping chambers, he sat at the table watching her, waiting for her to wake up, trying to imagine what to do to make her last hours of life special - for both of them.
Chapter 8:
Nerys woke with a start, and immediately started coughing. Odo was there with a cup of ginger tea to help sooth her throat, and Julian's hyperspray. "They couldn't help me, could they, Odo?" Nerys asked. "No, it was beyond their ability, but they have gone back to consult with the Great Link, maybe someone will know..." and he let his voice drift off as she began to shake her head, "Why Odo, in your time away, you've become even more of an optimist? I'm surprised."
She lay back down, and pointed to another PADD on a shelf in the room. "I kept a diary of sorts the past 10 years, so you can see what you've missed out on. Miles and Keiko have another little girl and they love living back on Earth. Julian and Ezri are married and hoping to have a little one soon. Everything is there for you to read when I'm gone. Now..." he turned back to look at her, "Tell me what life in the Great Link has been like for the past 10 years for you."
He pulled one of the chairs over closer to her bed and began to speak. His voice was filled with awe as he described the feeling of so many minds, so many thoughts all blending together into one. For a long time, his was the lone voice speaking on behalf of the Solids, but over the years, more voices joined with his, including more of the Hundred who found their way home and had good things to say of their experiences with the Solids. Odo was very hopeful that they'd made great progress in ending the aggressive First Strike train of thought in the Great Link that led the Founders to create the aggressive Dominion, and he hoped someday to be able to convince them to reach out to the Solids and form friendships and alliances.
Nerys listened to his story and smiled, seeing the satisfaction of his work on his face and in his eyes. *He was happy here. He hadn't missed her at all, he didn't have time.* "Odo... I missed you so much." Another coughing fit started, and Odo held her hand until it stopped, "Nerys, I missed you so much, I had keep that part of me very close because it was so upsetting to the others. They were missing you, and they didn't even know who you were!" She laughed at this, and that started another coughing fit. "They're getting worse, and closer together, Odo. I don't think that's a good sign. Are you sure you don't want to go home?"
Odo leaned down so his nose was up against hers and sighed, "Nerys, wherever you are is Home to me. Even after all this time in the Great Link, I've felt like a visitor here. I've never stopped wanting to be with you. I love you, Nerys. More than words can ever say." Nerys smiled, and softly said, "Odo, will you do something for me, a last request?" He nodded, and she pointed at the carry-all sitting on the floor. "Bring me my bag."
Odo picked up the carry-all which felt nearly empty, and brought it over to her. She reached inside and pulled out a dark blue tall candle, a lighter, and a metal rod. "This is a Memory Candle. Bajorans burn them to remember those they've lost in their lives, to honor them and cherish them. I've burned one for you every year on the Anniversary of the day I left you here and relived our time together. I want you to burn one for me - now - and tell me the stories of the memories you'll carry with you when I'm gone, so I can hear them."
Odo stared at the blue candle, and knew that it was unconventional to use the Memory Candles in that way, but knew also that this would mean so much to Nerys, as her faith in the Prophets was so strong. He said, "Of course I will, Nerys, if you'll tell me what to do."
She talked him through setting up the candle on the table top so she could see it, and once the candle was lit, had the computer dim the lights so the candle provided the only light in the room. The room was very dark because the candle was a long tube with the flame at the bottom surrounded by the wax of the candle on all sides. "Now, take the p'forr stick, and push it through the candle to form two holes. Each time you do this, you tell a story and share a memory of me. As you continue do this, more light will be visible as my life story is told and shared with the Prophets."
She turned onto her side to better see the candle as Odo, sitting in the chair on the other side of the table, reached for the p'forr stick and slowly pushed it through the candle as instructed.
"My first memory of Kira Nerys was on Deep Space 9, although it was called Tarek Nor then..."
Over and over again, Odo pushed the p'forr stick through the candle and relayed another story about Nerys. Many of his memories were the same ones she had cherished over the past 10 years, their first kiss, dancing at Vic's, thwarting another plan of Quark's with help from Nerys. It strengthened her own memories of the events to hear of them from his point of view. Some of them she hadn't heard before, like the time the Female Founder tried to trick Odo by imitating Kira, and Odo's realization how much he loved Kira that he'd rather die with her than let her die alone. She felt his eyes burning across the room, he stared at her as he spoke, knowing that he was truly watching her die this time, and could do nothing to stop it. On a few occassions, Nerys would fall asleep, and he sat there waiting for her to wake up, and then started again. The candle just kept burning and burning, seeming to go down not at all, and in fact the flame seemed to gain strength with each story he told. He must have gone on for hours until finally a coughing fit came upon Nerys that ended with blood-flecked lips. She wiped them off with a cloth and said, "Odo... please come sit by me".
Odo knelt by her side, not blocking her view of the Memory Candle, and took her by the hands. "Odo, I love you so much, you've given me such joy and pleasure in my life. Even the pain and sorrow your absence caused, I'm now grateful for because it has made me appreciate the gift the Prophets gave me even more." She spoke slowly but clearly; her voice had dropped to a husky whisper, and Odo had to lean closer to hear her clearly. "Yes, your love was a gift from the Prophets, and a blessing that I never would have thought I deserved. Now, I can die at peace because I got to see you one last time, and I'll give you a kiss and my love with one last breath." Odo leaned down and kissed Kira gently at first, her hand rested on the back of his neck, holding him here, and pulling him closer and the kiss turned more passionate and intense. He pulled back when she gasped for air, and with a smile on her face, and one last breath, she sighed, "I'll always love you, my Odo." His face was so close to hers as she spoke, he could feel the words and the breath used to speak them pass over the skin of his face. He took a deep breath, and then held the pocket of air inside of himself. These traces of Nerys' last breath, he would keep with him, as close to himself as he did his love for her during their time apart.
Then her eyes closed and her hand dropped from his neck to rest on his shoulder, and she grew very still. Odo reached up to take her hand, and checking for a pulse, found none, and knew that she was gone. The love of his life, the most important person in all the universe to him, the one he left behind 10 years ago - was now gone forever.
Suddenly the room grew brighter, and Odo turned around to look in shock as the light from the Memory Candle grew brighter and brighter, Nerys hadn't told him it was supposed to do anything like that. Then the whole room turned white, and Odo appeared to be standing in a large white room with no distinct walls, floor or ceiling. He looked around confused, until he saw Nerys standing off to the side, wearing her Major uniform and smiling radiantly at him. "Odo, thank you, thank you so much for making my last request come true." "Nerys, where are we, is this some kind of dream?" "No, Odo, this is the Celestial Temple, you have helped my pagh make the final journey here, and the Prophets brought you here to show you that I'm all right now. I'm at peace," and she walked up to him. Placing her hands on his cheeks, she raised up to kiss him gently on the lips, "Be at peace, my Odo, and don't grieve for me, because I am at peace with the Prophets in the Celestial Temple. Maybe someday, you'll join me here and we can be together forever."
Odo sighed, "But Nerys, I don't believe in the Prophets," when a man's voice behind him said, "Do you believe in me, Constable?" Odo turned around, and Captain Sisko stood behind him, with a grin on his face. "Captain?" Odo looked confused, "but you disappeared, back on Bajor..." "Yes, I came to take my place among the Prophets as the Emissary in the Celestial Temple. Odo, I know you're a realist and you only believe what you can see. See this! See me and see Nerys - touch us, we're real. Believe in us, and someday, you can come be with us too. The Prophets would welcome you gladly. Just - believe." Odo turned back to Nerys, and put his hands on her face, feeling the warmth of her skin under his hands he whispered, "I'll always believe in you, Nerys, my love." and kissed her again.
When he opened his eyes, he was back in the shuttlecraft, the candle was beginning to go out, and Nerys' body lay on the bunk in front of him. He placed her hands on her chest and pulled the blanket over her face. He knew he had promised to send her home, but he couldn't bring himself to do that, leaving her alone just felt wrong. So he returned to the planet's surface once more, to tell the Link that he needed to help his friend get home, and then he'd come back. He returned to the shuttlecraft, grabbed the PADD that Kira had prepared for him to tell him of the events of the past 10 years, and set a course back to DS9.
As the Amazon began to move away from the planet, he could feel the tug of the Great Link from the planet below, and he knew he would return. But he had one last task to perform for the woman he loved, and he would make sure he did it right. Because he believed in her, and had seen the Celestial Temple for himself, he could Believe in it too. And therefore, using the logic of a great constable, he knew he would someday see his beloved again. That thought he would also keep close to him along with the small pocket of air containing her last breath. His two treasures that would keep Nerys close to him until they could be together forever.
In the meantime, he began to read the log entries on the dataPADD as the shuttlecraft made its way back to DS9 with its two silent passengers.
Finis...