Okay, you can blame this one on straykitty. SHE gave me this chapter, and told me she'd done her bit for the cause. What cause, I wanted to know. Getting you back into humour, that's what, she replied. So here I am. I've spent some time editing -I hopeI caught everything. And now... here it is. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Are you kidding? Neither me OR straykitty own YGO.
"Darkest Africa"

A/N: I KNOW Bakura doesn't wear glasses. But wouldn't they look cute on him?

Rodeo Round-Up

1) Kaiba

"KAIBA!"

"Aaaah!" Kaiba fell and rolled for a few moments on the floor, trying to disentangle himself from his duvet.

"Oh, finally. Geez, are you a sound sleeper!"

"Who the hell are you?" growled Kaiba, poking his tousled head out from the duvet. "I'm going to call the…" He stared.

"Hey." The girl in front of him waved.

"You!" gasped Kaiba, crawling away backwards.

"Me." The girl seemed unconcerned. "Great. Look, you're invited to South Africa. Hoorah, hoorah, let's move on. Right, so, I've already got your stuff packed, taken the liberty of booking you into a hotel and…"

"A hotel? Who's paying?"

"You are, duh. You think I have this kind of money?"

"Me?"

"Hey, not MY fault you're a multi-billionaire. Now get dressed. Your official invite will be coming by email, but I'm here just to make sure you do go. You have to. Think of it as… oh, an educational experience." She smiled.

Kaiba swore. There was nothing else he could do. This… person… was possibly the only being alive – besides Mokuba, of course – that could make him do what he didn't want to. She didn't use charm, though. She used blackmail.

2) Joey, Tristan and Ryou

Joey emerged from his room dressed and ready, with two different socks hidden beneath his long pants. He disappeared into the bathroom, and when he reappeared he made for the front door. "Cheers, S'ren!" he yelled.

"Bye!" Serenity called from her room.

The trip to Tristan's house was uneventful. When he arrived, Tristan led him up the stairs to his room, where Bakura was already waiting.

Noticing Tristan's computer on, Joey settled himself in the swivel chair in front of it. Tristan didn't react, so he wiggled the mouse and waited for the screen to clear. A small envelope was flashing in the bottom right hand corner.

"Hey, you got mail."

"From who?"

"I'll see…" He clicked on the icon, and the Outlook Express opened up. "Know anyone called straykitty?" he asked over his shoulder.

"Who?" Tristan banged his pad of paper onto the floor in front of Bakura and scrambled over to Joey's side. "straykitty? Never heard of them. Delete it."

"Nah, man. It's got your name in the subject line. And… mine? Hey, Bakura, you're in there too. C'mon, let's open it!"

"You've got me curious. Go ahead. If it's a virus, YOU can fix my computer."

"Yeah, right." Joey clicked the message, and began to read. "Hey, check this…"

"What?" asked Bakura, pushing his reading glasses onto the bridge of his nose and getting to his feet.

"Read it, and you'll see," said Joey mysteriously, his eyes still moving down the page.

"Okay…" Bakura locked his eyes on the screen. "Dear Tristan Taylor, Joseph Wheeler and Ryou Bakura… that's US!"

"Carry on," encouraged Tristan.

"Dear Tristan Taylor, Joseph Wheeler and Ryou Bakura.

I trust that you are all safe and sound, and are at this moment wondering how in heaven's name I know who you are, and how I knew you'd all be here at the same time.

Stop wondering.

This is not a message to confuse you, so put the matter out of your mind… for now. I am inviting you to Africa."

"Africa!"

"South Africa to be precise. I know that you have your own misconceptions about Africa. I will not correct them now. You will come to Africa, and there your education shall begin. You will be staying at a hotel, courtesy Kaiba Corp."

"Kaiba!" Joey stared at the screen, and was about to continue when Tristan cut him off with an abrupt, "Shut up!"

"Sorry. Carry on," he flapped his hands in Bakura's direction and sank into the chair.

"Do not ask how I convinced your worst enemy to pay your way, Mr. Wheeler. I will not tell you. Chances are, you are going to find out pretty soon anyway. You will receive more information later today.

Sincerely yours,

Meow,

straykitty."

"Meow?"

"See, with the curly bracket and the colons. I think it must be a trademark of some sort."

"How can you be so calm?" Joey turned and stared at his white-haired friend. "We're going to Africa, man! On Kaiba's money! Sweet!"

3) Yami, Yugi, Marik and Bakura

"Your move, oh mighty Game-king."

"Shut up, tomb robber. I'm thinking."

"Well hurry up your thinking or I'll move for you!" snapped Marik, toying irritably with the tiny plastic iron that had been left out when they'd picked their pieces. Yugi, through means of those ridiculous puppy-dog eyes, had conned the Pharaoh into letting him be the dog. Luckily, Marik had snatched up the speedboat before Yami and Bakura stopped arguing, so they were left with the boat and the hat. Bakura won the coin toss and thus received, with much gloating, the ship.

"Okay…" Yami cleared his throat. "Bakura, hand me Electricity."

"Why?"

"Because I want to wear it as a hat, why do you think?"

"Alright, no need to get snippy. Even if it is that time of the – "

Yugi's hand covered Bakura's mouth. "Okay, I think I'll take over as bank!" he said, ignoring Yami's confused look.

Bakura pushed Yugi's hand away from his mouth. "Fine by me."

"Hello boys, playing Monopoly?" Yugi's grandfather entered the room carrying an envelope. "Here, Yugi, post for you and Yami."

"Thanks!" Yugi accepted the envelope and handed Yami the card he wanted. "It's your move, Marik."

"I intend to make it a good one." Marik snatched the dice up and cupped them in his hands.

"Hey, look at this!" said Yugi, waving his letter around. "It's addressed to all of us!"

"All? How can it be to all of us – Bakura and I don't even live here."

"See for yourself." Yugi tossed the envelope to Marik.

"Yugi and Yami Moto, Marik Ishtar and Bakura, spirit of the Ring. He's right! Read it." He tossed the letter back to Yugi. It fell slightly short, bouncing off of Yami's hair before landing on Bakura's lap.

Bakura gave Marik a disgusted look. "Your throwing is worse than your Monopoly playing," he said, passing the envelope to Yugi.

Yami massaged the tip of one of his spikes. "I think that made a dent."

"It's paper, Yami," Yugi explained patiently.

"So?"

Yugi let out a long-suffering sigh and muttered, "Never mind."

"Aw, brotherly squabbles," said Bakura, grinning maliciously.

"Brotherly? I'm about five thousand years Yugi's senior."

"Hey, I'm not the one who wrote 'Yugi and Yami Moto'. At least I had a fairly respectable title."

"Oh, mighty spirit of the Ring. Allow me to quake in terror… or not."

"Better than being saddled with the pathetic mortal who is my so-called reincarnation," Bakura sniffed.

"We're going to Africa!" Yugi exploded, jumping to his feet and dragging Yami to his. "We're going to Africa! We're going to Africa!" he sang, dancing around Yami and Bakura. Marik bum-shuffled away from him, out of range of his wildly flying feet.

"Africa?" he asked.

"Africa!" confirmed Yugi at the top of his lungs. "Read the letter."

Marik took the letter, a feeling of foreboding seeping into his stomach. This could not possibly be good.

4) Tea, Serenity, Ishizu and Mai

"Yoo-hoo! Tea! Serenity! Over here!"

"Mai!" Tea hurried over to the small table where the blonde sat, dragging Serenity behind her.

"Have a seat. You look, uh, slightly ruffled," said Mai, looking at Tea's drenched clothes and Serenity's windswept hair and rumpled clothes.

"Thanks." Tea sat, squelching damply. "I fell in the fountain outside. Well, I was pushed, but I'm sure it was an accident."

"It was very windy," Serenity added, twisting her skirt until it was the right way around and taking the other empty chair. "They must have wanted to get inside quickly."

"Very quickly," Mai said, waving at a waitress. "You want something?"

"A cappuccino would be super."

"No, nothing for me, thanks."

"Great. A latte and a cappuccino – "

"Weak, please," interrupted Tea.

"Thanks." Mai smiled as the waitress went to give in their orders. "So, what's news?"

"Not much. You?"

"Hello there!" Ishizu came up to the table and smiled at the three.

"Ishizu! Have seat – here!" Tea pulled a chair from another table and patted it.

"Thanks." Ishizu sank into the chair, putting down her parcels. "My arms are killing me."

Mai's cell phone beeped loudly. She picked it up and read, "One new email."

"Who from?"

"Someone called straykitty. Hey, it's addressed to all of us!"

"What?"

"See for yourself – Mai Valentine, Tea Gardener, Serenity Wheeler and Ishizu Ishtar."

"Read it!" chorused Tea and Serenity. Ishizu nodded.

"Okay…" Mai's eyes moved across her phone's screen. She gasped. "She… well, I'm assuming it's a she… knew you were wet, Tea!"

"What?"

"Hang on… Africa! We're going to Africa!"

"Africa? No way! How come?"

"No idea. This… straykitty… said she'd send more information later."

"Cool. Freaky, that she knew we were together, but still cool!"

Ishizu closed her eyes. She could feel a headache coming on.

There. Finished. All the following chapters will be written by ME, never fear.

Cheers!

GLJ