A/N: Set sometime after the events of the movie. I like the idea of the core four being like this adorable little family thing. There is no substance here, just fluff and cuteness, forgive me for I am weak.
Game Central Station buzzed with activity around them as Ralph, Felix, and Calhoun headed towards the entrance to Sugar Rush. It was a holiday and with the arcade closed everyone was looking forward to a day off. Calhoun in particular was glad to have a break from the chaos of her game; dressed in cargo pants and a tank top she seemed almost relaxed as she strolled hand-in-hand with her husband.
"Where is that little crumb snatcher anyways? She said she'd meet us at the entrance…" Ralph asked, running a huge hand through his hair.
"I'm sure she'll be here soon." Felix replied, looking about for her.
No sooner had he spoken than a blur of mint green leapt up onto Ralph's shoulder like a cat.
"There you are, my noble steed!" Vanellope crowed delightfully from her perch, grabbing a handful of Ralph's hair and tugging, "Onward!"
Unfazed, the huge wrecker rolled his eyes and shook his head a little in an attempt to dislodge her tugging fingers.
"Hey Wreck-it," Calhoun called, a little smile tugging at her lips. "You've got a little bug on your shoulder."
"Oh thanks Sarge." With one big hand he attempted to brush Vanellope off his shoulder but she just glitched to the other one.
"C'mon Stinkbrain, let's gooooo!" she cried again, bouncing on his shoulder a little.
"Hmmm, sure is a noisy little bug." He commented, moving to sweep her off again, unable to suppress a little smile.
The little girl glitched out of the way again, laughing a little at the game.
"C'mon doofus, you know I'm not a bug!" she glitched swiftly again to avoid Ralph's huge hand.
As Ralph playfully attempted to catch the racer, Vanellope glitched and jumped effortlessly around his huge hands so that she was just a giggling blur.
"Alright Troops, enough playing around, let's get moving." Tamora finally cut in, shifting the folded up cruiser from one shoulder to another.
With a decisive move Ralph caught the hood of Vanellope's sweatshirt between two fingers, the little girl pouted and hung there limply, upset the game was over. Ralph lifted her up to eye level and began tickling her until she squealed with delight and wriggled furiously, unable to glitch for laughing.
Setting the giggling racer on his shoulder, they all headed off into Sugar Rush, a warm sugary blast of air greeting them as they entered.
Vanellope's colorful kart was waiting just inside, the engine idling quietly. Calhoun unfolded her cruiser with a practiced motion and climbed aboard. Felix hopped up after her, winding his arms around her leg for balance.
The racer jumped into her kart but eyed the cruiser with longing.
"Hey Sarge, ya sure I can't ride that thing again? I'll let you drive my kart!"
Tamora felt Felix tighten his grip a little and tugged his hat down over his eyes to reassure him.
"Not happening Miss President, not after last time."
Vanellope's face fell into a pout, "Awwwww I didn't do that bad!"
Ralph climbed up onto the back of her kart, "Kid, you crashed the thing last time…into the taffy swamp. We had to fish you out. It took us three hours to get the Taffy out of your hair."
"Yeah, well… that was what I meant to do anyways, shows what you know."
Before the wrecker could retort, she slammed on the gas and sped off to the castle, nearly losing him in the process.
Before Calhoun could follow them, Felix hopped off the cruiser and motioned her over.
"Yes Fix-it?" she asked, coming over next to him.
The handyman leapt up to place a kiss on her check, grinning up at her.
The sergeant smiled back and grabbed him by the shirt collar to haul him up into a fierce kiss.
"You going to do that every time we're here short stack?" she asked, setting him down.
"You bet, Tammy! Especially if I get a kiss like that every time I do." A cute blush spread across his cheeks as he grinned up at her.
Tamora scooped him up and threw him onto her back, his arms over her shoulders and legs wrapped around her thin waist. She leapt up onto the cruiser and turned her head slightly toward him, a sly grin forming on her lips.
"Better hang on."
With that she was off like a shot after Vanellope, Felix's shout of surprise trailing behind them.
When they reached the castle, the racer was already there waiting, swinging from Ralph's outstretched arm like it was a jungle gym bar. Upon seeing them she jumped down, running over to greet them. Tamora dismounted the cruiser and folded it up then got to work removing Felix's death grip on her.
"Not so fast next time Tammy…" he mumbled, swaying a little as she set him down.
"Heyyyy!" Vanellope cried out, pointing to Felix. "How come Pie Boy gets a Sarge piggy back and I don't?"
Piggy back rides from the sergeant were rare and highly coveted. The little girl had grown extremely fond of Tamora and looked up to the tough, no-nonsense woman, though the racer would never admit it. Though it was Ralph's attention she constantly craved, it made Vanellope secretly happy when Calhoun would pay attention to her as well.
Tamora gave a good-natured sigh and reached a hand down to the little racer.
"Come here, President Toothache."
Vanellope gave a little skip of happiness and placed her hand into the Sergeants'. She was immediately swung up onto the tall woman's back where she settled in and began playing idly with Calhoun's whispy blonde hair, clearly pleased with herself.
They entered the castle and were directed to a room where Vanellope insisted they watch racing highlights. Jumping down from Calhoun's shoulders, Vanellope scrambled up onto Ralph's shoulder as he settled into the marshmallowy couch.
"Miss me, Stinkbrain?" she asked, pinching his cheek and shaking it.
"I'm not sure, why don't you go away again and I'll let you know?" he teased back.
Felix and Tamora joined them on the couch and snuggled up together; her arms pulling her husband possessively close as she placed a kiss on top of his head.
Vanellope looked over at the pair and scrunched up her face in disgust.
"Oh yuck, do you guys have to do that all the time?"
Ralph shook the shoulder she was resting on.
"Lay off kid, they're married. They have to be gross now, it's in the marriage contract."
The racer considered the validity of this statement for a moment then went back to playing with Ralph's hair, evidently finding no fault with it.
They relaxed on the overly fluffy couch for a while, racing clips playing and Vanellope chattering on and on about the races. Eventually her attention wavered from the TV and she set about on a new project.
"Uhm, Brother?" Felix began, pointing to the little girl furiously weaving ribbons and candy barrettes into the Wrecker's hair. "You do know that she's…"
"Yeah." He gave a little sigh and shook his head in a feeble attempt to dislodge the colorful adornments. "I learned a long time ago that it's best not to struggle. She'll be done eventually."
Vanellope adjusted a stray ribbon and fluffed the now tangled and decorated mess that was Ralph's hair.
"Perfect! Is there anything I can't do?" she laughed a little to herself before her gaze settled on Felix.
A Cheshire cat grin spread slowly across the racer's features and Ralph could feel her little muscles tensing to leap off his shoulder.
Felix pressed back into Tamora a little, holding his hat tight onto his head.
"Vanilla Bean, you don't really want to do that do you?"
She jumped down and landed nimbly in front of Felix, already digging barrettes out of her sweatshirt pocket. Her expression broke into a little pout, brown eyes going all big and forlorn.
"Pleeeeeeease Fixy? Pretty pretty please? With buttloads of sugar?"
The handyman sighed and wiggled out of his wife's arms, settling down in front of Vanellope. Reluctantly he removed his cap and she immediately got to work. In truth he had a soft spot for her, they all did. After all the loneliness she'd had, he figured she should be allowed whatever happiness she could get. Even if that happiness was putting bows in his hair against his will.
"Ta-da!" she stood back to admire her handiwork. "You look so adorable!"
Felix hazarded a glance up at Tamora and found her shaking slightly, face gone red.
"What's wrong Tammy?" he asked, turning towards her.
The sergeant couldn't contain the laughter that bubbled up.
"I'm sorry Fix-it! She's right, you do look adorable!" Tears were welling up in her eyes as she struggled to get the laughter under control.
Felix blushed at the compliment and Vanellope beamed with pride at her handiwork.
"Hey wait a minute!" she took Felix's hand and jumped down off the couch, "I have a few dresses I bet would fit you…they're too small for Ralph."
The color immediately drained from the handyman's face, causing Tamora to nearly fall off the couch from laughter. Ralph adverted the impending crisis by quickly throwing the girl off her train of thought.
"Hey, kiddo, aren't you going to do Sarge's hair too?"
Vanellope gasped with excitement and Calhoun narrowed her eyes threateningly at Ralph.
"Please Sarge?" she asked, inching forward.
"No way, little soldier. Ain't happening."
Vanellope gave a little laugh and launched herself at Calhoun, barrette in hand. The girl glitched quickly about the soldier, trying to move fast enough to pin just one clip in her blonde hair. Unfortunately Calhoun was just as quick and managed to snatch the racer between glitches, startling the little girl. Vanellope gave a little squeal and attempted to wriggle from Tamora's grasp, laughing all the while. The sergeant pulled up Vanellope's sweatshirt and blew a raspberry onto the racer's belly before tickling her sides fiercely.
Finally Tamora dropped the President onto the couch where she rolled about, a little ball of giggles and laughter. Catching her breath, Vanellope stood up, one lone colorful heart barrette in hand.
"Please Sarge? Just one?"
The blonde sighed and leaned forward, giving in like always.
"Just one." She paused and pulled back, eyeing the little girl sternly. "And no dresses on my husband."
"Yes Ma'am!" the girl gave a stern salute before reaching up toward the Sergeant.
Tamora leaned down again and allowed Vanellope to pin the barrette in her hair, securing her blond bangs out of her face.
"Happy?" she asked wryly when the racer was done.
"Yes!" she gave the older woman a tight hug before zipping away back to Ralph.
"Hey Admiral Underpants, let's have a tea party!" Vanellope begged excitedly, jumping up and down in the palm of his hand.
"Isn't that a little girly for you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
She flapped her hands at him, "Naw, it's not girly at all! And plus if you have a tea party you get cookies, ga'doy!"
Ralph looked at her flatly. "You always get cookies, no matter what you're doing."
Vanellope smacked her forehead with her palm, "You really are sleeping in there aren't you Chumbo? If I have a tea party then I get even more cookies!"
"Can't argue with that logic, lead the way Princess." Calhoun declared, getting up from the couch.
"That's President!" she chirped, jumping down from Ralph's hand to glare up at the sergeant.
"Whatever you say, President Princess." The blonde replied teasingly.
Ralph got up from the couch and Vanellope scampered up to sit on his head, sticking her tongue out at Tamora. The sergeant returned the gesture, making the girl giggle.
Calhoun took her husband's hand and gave it a squeeze. He looked up at her, grinning foolishly with his hair still full of ribbons. They followed Ralph and Vanellope to find a room for the tea party as the little girl rattled off the never-ending list of all the types of cookies they'd need.
Later in the evening after all the cookies had been eaten and games had been played, they were all curled up on the couch, exhausted from the events of the day. Vanellope's never-ending rush of energy had finally depleted and she was curled up sleeping on Ralph's broad shoulder. The Wrecker himself was out cold; head lolled back with his mouth wide open. Felix was nestled in his wife's arms, face peaceful in sleep. Tamora could feel her eyes getting heavy and smiled softly as she let them close, snuggling down into the couch.
As far as she was concerned this was the best damn family anyone could ever ask for, craziness and all.