EPOV
The thoughts of my love, consume me; her physical beauty, her scent and the innocence and purity that is Bella Swan. I absorb her, while in her presence and she lingers with me when we are apart. I am of little use, while in this state. What had originally been a desire to taste her blood, has recently become something quite different. The scent of her blood remains my heroin. Yet, there is now a pull, a desire, a need whose call is stronger; lust.
Bella has always brought out what humanness has survived within me. Her unwavering trust and acceptance feeds my ability to be trusted. Her love for me has strengthened my ability to love her over and above the pull her essence has on my vampiric nature. I manage that with great easy, now. That is not to say her scent no longer captivates and electrifies me – I have simply grown to take great pleasure in the way it excites me.
This new lust; is more human in nature. This enlivens an altogether different part of my being. She has completely awakened the man that I am, the man she alone has called into being.
I find my thoughts for her no longer simply loving and protective, they have become covetous and I hunger for her desire. When we kiss and her heart rate increases and her body temperature rises, her aroma changes. She becomes ever more desirable when her bouquet fills with a heady, sweet musk as her body naturally responds to my touch. I find myself making an effort to affect those changes in her, at every opportunity. It is exhilarating to watch as I bring my love to such a sense of excitement and desire.
I am now aware that as her desire and lust for me grows, I am less able to control my actions. I find I must talk to myself and never fully give into the powerful lust that radiates from my core as her sensual, intoxicating fragrance fills my nostrils and spilling over my taste buds as I bring her into my lungs. I can only imagine the sensations she will awaken in my body, when we are ready to physically consummate our commitment to each other. In the meantime, I have eagerly taken pleasure in awakening her lust, time and time, again.
As she sleeps and I lay next to her, I watch her angelic face and listen to her melodic whispers of my name. I turn onto my side, to better enjoy the view. She stirs but does not wake. Though asleep, she willfully offers her neck to me and her sighs betray the dream she is having. The delicate new scent that now rises from her body is revealing the forces within her that are driving her movements and the sounds that escape her luscious lips. I am fascinated and cannot prevent my fingers from gently, lightly, slowly tracing her jaw line, slide down her neck and linger at the base of her throat. I move again, making small circles with my fingers, as I deliberately allow my hand to move further down her chest and ever so gently, lift away the sheet to reveal her beautiful, perfect breasts, tight and firm, beneath her tank top. I tenderly whisper my cool breath across her chest and see her nipples respond as I touch her heated body. With the back of my hand and fingers, I gently circle her nipples and I blow, again and again. My hand and fingers move slowly from her breasts to the exposed soft, pale skin of her belly. I watch in fascination, her heart beat in the tiny motions of her stomach and let my hand lightly rest. She is stirring and again, she moans and my name escapes her lips.
I fear I may have awakened her so I lower myself down onto my back, next to her. The night is warm and she is attracted to the cool temperature of my own body. She rolls towards me, lifting her right knee, placing it high on my thigh. Her right hand lays on my chest and her head, on my shoulder. She moans again; deep like the sound one makes when tasting something delicious. Her eyelids flutter and her lips part. She reaches for my face with her hand and for my lips with her mouth. She leans in and exhales heavily into my face and I reach up to meet her mouth as she kisses me. It is a tender kiss.
My hip is warm and perhaps even damp, where her pelvis pushes against it as her leg rests on my thigh. I am aware that there is a slight motion to her pelvis; she is rocking herself against me. My own passion is now fully awakened as she pulls herself fully atop me and I reach to kiss her...
BPOV
I am having the most luscious dream. Edward and I are in our meadow. The sun is warm on my skin and Edward is cool to my touch. We are lying together on a blanket and he is kissing me tenderly. He embraces me and pulls me onto himself and I look into his deep amber eyes…
Suddenly, it's dark; I can't see anything but I know this is not our meadow. I am – we are, in my bedroom. I was dreaming and now I am awake. I am also on top of Edward and am passionately kissing him. He's not touching me, he's just laying there and I'm all over him like an animal. I am so glad that it is dark so he can't see the five shades of red I am flushed with, right now. This is so embarrassing.
"I'm sorry. I'm so, sorry."
"Don't ever be sorry, my love." Edward whispers as he reaches his arms around me and embraces me lovingly.
"I think I was dreaming, or something…" My voice trails off.
I can hear Edward smile, in the dark.
"Are you OK?", I ask.
"I am wonderful. You are wonderful. This is wonderful." Edward sighs. His intoxicating breath is making me light headed. He holds me closer and kisses me harder.
As I become more conscious and the fog lifts, I notice that my tank top has ridden high on my chest and I am feeling Edward's cool, hard body against mine. I am also aware that he is extremely sexually aroused.
I really can't believe what I've done. What kind of person does this to someone they love when it's been decided that we'll wait until we're married?
How do I remove myself from this awkward situation without embarrassing Edward or have him think I'm afraid? I can't just jump up and run away, though that's what I want to do.
To make matters worse, I think I've started my period. Oh my God! What a nightmare. I was just having the most wonderful dream and in seconds it has turned into a horrible nightmare.
I try to push away, but Edward is holding me tightly in his arms.
"Edward, I need to go."
"You're fine right here." He breathes into my mouth.
"No. Really. I need to get up."
"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, my love. We'll be married in a week. There is no shame in trying to seduce you husband-to-be, in the middle of the night" he says coyly.
"I think my period started", I mumble. I'm mortified.
"No it hasn't". He says definitively.
"No. Seriously. Please, let me go."
"I would know if you'd started. You have definitely NOT started you period." He is quiet for just a moment. "My love, do you think that's why you're wet?"
I am now fully awake; confused, uncomfortable and humiliated.
"I was watching you sleep and as you dreamed you became aroused." It's dark, but I can see the soft amber glow in his eyes. He's doing that thing to me, again.
"Bella, you are so beautiful and so exciting. I was mesmerized and am flattered that thoughts of me; create feelings like that, in you." He continued, "Please, don't be embarrassed. It's all perfectly natural."
"I think I need a cold shower", I mutter as he finally releases me from his embrace and I stumble off the bed.
I quickly grabbed by bathroom bag, am out the door and into the bathroom. Seated on the edge of the tub, I feel like I could throw up. I'm totally mortified. I turn on the water, take off my top and shorts and climb into the shower. The cold water is both a relief and an icy punishment for my shameful behavior.
Deciding to do something useful, since I plan on staying in here for a while, I grab my razor and start shaving my legs. I can't imagine what Edward is thinking of me, at this point. How stupid could I be? My perfect wonder dream had morphed into this humiliating situation. I attempted to recall the sweetness of my dream. The warmth of the sun, the sweetness of his kiss, the strength of his arms, wrapped around me…
Ouch! I wasn't paying attention and nicked my ankle, shaving…
EPOV
It has always made me crazy; lying in Bella's bed, listening to the water run on the other side of the wall, imagining her; nude and wet. Her lusty perfume has lingered in her room, in my nose and in my head.
Suddenly, I am struck. It's intense. It's fresh. It has me by the throat. The scent of blood, Bella's blood has collided with her heady musk. I have no control and am up and in her bathroom in a fraction of a second.
Bella is wide-eyed and shocked as I pull the shower curtain back and see her holding her ankle under the water. I grab her bare, wet body and swiftly carry her back to her room and lay her on her bed.
The cut is small yet a tiny trickle of blood is gliding down her ankle. "Please, my love…" I'm begging. Bella is staring at me but says nothing. She's holding her breath.
Quickly, I move my face to her ankle and greedily inhale the aroma that is my greatest weakness, the blood of my love; my Bella. I greedily allow the tiny trickle of red liquid to land on my tongue. It is luscious. To taste her is empowering. That sweet irresistible essence; I savor it as it rolls over my tongue, soothes the burn in my throat and lights a fire in my center.
I groan with satisfaction, "Mmmm. Oh, Bella."
Bella has watched me and she hasn't moved. I feel my control returning as I hear her heart beat and discern that lusty musk, flooding my senses, again. The fragrance of her desire, commands my attention and I am dominated by my overpowering need for her. Quickly, I turn her on the bed so that I am kneeling on the floor, between her legs. Immediately, I begin kissing and licking and gently sucking the delicate, creamy skin of her inner thighs, right above her knees. One hand finds the small mat of curly brown hair that rises onto her pelvic bone, and I begin rocking the heel of my hand, mimicking the rhythm she found, laying next to me, just a few short minutes ago. My other hand reaches around and under her hips to better bring her towards me.
She is moist, she is hot and her body wants satisfaction. Her heart is beating louder and her breath is labored as I move closer to the place she wants me, she needs me, to be. My kisses are hard and I have to maintain enough control to not so much as graze her skin with my teeth. My tongue seems to bring my name to her lips and I am enjoying that, most of all.
BPOV
I was so startled when Edward pulled back the curtain and grabbed me out of the shower. Next thing I know, I'm back lying on my bed, still soaking wet and Edward is kneeling on the floor next to me. The look on his face when he pulled the curtain back… He's eyes were shouldering, looking up at me through his lashes, his lips curled up in my favorite half smile. I was mesmerized and intrigued and clearly read the lust on his angelic face.
It didn't occur to me that such a tiny amount of blood would create that response in him. It is by far, a much smaller nick than the paper cut I got on my birthday at the Cullens' which sent Jasper leaping through the air… Edward's reaction probably should have frightened me, but I was still a bit shaky from being stirred awake from my dream to finding myself accosting him. I was swimming through my memories to recall every delicious detail of that dream, not paying much attention to what I was doing, when I nicked my ankle.
There is no apprehension as I lie on my bed and watch Edward as he licks the blood streak from my ankle. He is lustful yet gentle and he purrs my name as he tilts his head back and closes his eyes.
Still on his knees at the edge of my bed, suddenly he turns me so I am lying crossways; my head nearly hanging off one side, with my legs straddling him on the other. He is kissing the inside of my thighs and each kiss is sending delectable, vibrating chills up my body, through my core, radiating out to my finger tips and the top of my head.
He should stop but the desire for him to continue, completely over-rides my ability to move away from him or to speak anything like a coherent word. I feel my breath shudder with a sigh, each time I am able to take one. My hips involuntarily rock against the palm of his hand. His other hand is under my hip as he lifts and draws me closer to him. I need him to reach his destination, MY destination. All rational thought has departed and the desires of my body are in command. My knees draw up and fall to the sides, granting full surrender.
"Please, Edward. Please. Don't stop." I can barely get my mouth to form the words as my tongue is heavy and my lips won't cooperate.
He reaches around and grabs my other hip and he pulls me towards him again, like I am a platter in his hands, as he raises me up to meet his mouth. A groan escapes his lips with his tongue as he, for the first time, touches my warm, moist lust.
I can't breath. His cool, hard tongue against my hot, wet seat of womanhood sends my hips thrusting. He licks again. I exhale and a groan of pleasure escapes, with my breath. The feeling that comes, with each touch of his tongue, brings me closer to release and leaves me needing more.
His lips find the apex of my desire and he softly draws the nerve bud into his lips, and gently sucks. Releasing his hold, from under my hip, he frees one hand and I arch my back as he slips an icy finger into me.
Rhythmically he works his magic and within seconds a crashing wave of ecstasy washes over me. My hips move of their own accord, my hands are tangled in, twisting and pulling his hair. I feel like I'm screaming but there is no sound beyond my racing heart that beats so loudly in my ears that I am deafened to the world. My joints collapse, my body feels lifted than slammed back down onto my bed again. Though my eyes are closed, I see flashes of deep rich colors of crimson and purple. My mouth is salivating and I feel tears escape the corners of my eyes. The dam that had been building in the pit of my pelvis has broken and in a violent satisfying shudder, is released and I am liquefied. My entire body seems to have turned into jelly. A sheepish smile finds its way across my face and I am flush.
I attempt to breathe as my heart begins to slow and I hear Edward purr my name, "Oh Bella. You are delicious. Thank you, my love."
EPOV
What a gift. Bella has given me more of herself in the past 15 minutes, than I could have ever imagined. I am besieged with gratitude at this woman's ability to touch a soul, I was certain I no longer possessed.
In the same instance, my desire for her to give me more is driving me, pushing me on. Not just emotionally; but physically. I crave her, I must have a release of my own or I will explode.
As I gave her pleasure and she fully surrendered to my touch, my need for her grew exponentially. Now, kneeling here before her spent body, my hand wet with her release and I am in desperate need.
Standing, I catch her heavily lipped eyes and hold her to mine. I unzip my jeans, and allow them to drop to the floor.
Bella is looking deeply, lovingly, into my eyes. There is a wonderful, soft smile on her swollen lips.
Without breaking my gaze, I remove my boxers while searching her face for any sign of refusal or rebuff. She is lost in her moment and her face reflects the peace and satisfaction that has settling, within her. Despite her peace, despite my love, my physical need screams for its own gratification.
Still clinging to her gaze, I slowly touch and hold myself with the hand, still wet with the juice of Bella's satisfaction. The sensation of her fluids, touching my skin, brings a stunning shudder to my entire body.
I reached out to lower myself onto her and passionately kiss her. Her mouth is open and as she exhales into me, my eyes close and I kiss her hard, as I allow my tongue to slip between her lips.
My tip brushes her entrance and she gasps. A shock courses through my body, every nerve ending, alive. All my senses are heightened and I am deliciously consumed by everything; the sight of Bella beneath me, the sweetness of her breath, the lingering taste of her blood, the sensational feeling of her fluid on me and the invigorating odor of her orgasm.
Just as I am prepared to penetrate her for the first time, she seductively whispers my name, "Edward."
"I want you. I also want to wait until we're married", she mumbles.
I am frozen.
"Can you do something for me? Can you wait?" she asks.
Though never having much luck denying her every request, it was too late. There is no turning back for me, at this point.
I lay my hardness on her pelvic bone as I reach down and passionately kiss her and she wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my hips. I am intoxicated with the sensation of being engulfed by her limbs. Slowly, but with increasing pressure and speed, I rub myself against her. Her hips betray her words as she rocks against me, intensifying the sensation that is growing in my groin. She released my mouth and reaches for my ear, gently nibbling my earlobe, I hear her quickened breath and feel it warm on my neck. Her nipples harden against my chest. My senses are on overload.
She moans, "Oh. Edward."
That is all I need to hear. My eruption is complete and devours my physical self control. I convulse and shudder unwillingly as I claw at the bedding and bury my face in her pillow, growling wildly. The heat that had been building and pooling in my groin is released with a vengeance. There is a flash, like an electrical current that fires my every nerve ending, simultaneously. My eyes are squeezed tightly shut yet there is light, like bursting fireworks in my vision. My nostrils are filled with Bella's perfume and the smell of my own sex; the scents combine to become one of complete satisfaction.
Suddenly shocked back to reality, I raise up on my arms, certain that in my release, I lost complete control and have hurt Bella. My eyes struggle to focus on her gorgeous face…
BPOV
I never would have thought it possible. Not for us.
I can only imagine the difficulty Edward had, giving me the gift he did, this evening then being satisfied with what little he received in return. I feel so selfish and self centered. He was entirely willing to give me what my body so desperately needed and I didn't even offer to reciprocate. It does appear, however, that he did get a little something, though by comparison…
"Bella, my love." He whispers in my ear.
"Thank you. You have no idea what it means, having you share so much of yourself with me, tonight. I'm so sorry I was not able to contain my desire. Did I hurt you?" he asks.
"I'm fine. I think I need to move so I can straighten out my legs, though." I answer sheepishly. My hip joints feel sore because I don't believe they've ever been in that position before, certainly not for that long! It's a good sore, a pleasant ache.
I guess we both really DO want to start our married life as virgins. Does this count against that? I mean, are we still virgins because we did have sex, only it wasn't in the "traditional" way?
Wow. That was fantastic. I really had no idea anything could feel so good. And poor Edward, I'm sure he's had better, alone in his bedroom. His self control is amazing. There is no way I could have settled for what he got tonight. I can't believe he's willing to do that for me, for us.
My thoughts are all over the place and I can't control them and I'm tired. No, it's not tired, it's spent. It's complete contentment. It's all good.